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spb
Nov 11, 2013



Alright, let's all go on a diet! What are some code body hacks to lose 20 lbs of weight?

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Salt Fish
Sep 11, 2003



Pillbug

Stop eating until you're the weight you want. You'll lose about a half pound a day of total fasting. If you feel hungry try just not caring.

pram
Jun 10, 2001


computer

Salt Fish
Sep 11, 2003



Pillbug

If you type twice as many words you'll lose twice as many calories from typing each day. This also works if you use words that are twice as long as normal.

spb
Nov 11, 2013



Salt Fish posted:

Stop eating until you're the weight you want. You'll lose about a half pound a day of total fasting. If you feel hungry try just not caring.

You mean starving yourself?

Salt Fish
Sep 11, 2003



Pillbug

The main problem with being anorexic is that you're too good at losing weight, so just do that but then stop before you get too skinny idiot.

Salt Fish
Sep 11, 2003



Pillbug

The main problem with bulemia is that your teeth get hosed up from the acid but I want to be clear that's the ONLY REASON I'm not suggesting it.

hifi
Jul 25, 2012


i hacked some tofu at 350 with some shoyru and sesame oil (not sure what this in japanese)

Fuzzy Mammal
Aug 15, 2001



Lipstick Apathy

the average age of members of the diet is >75. not very yospos at all, op!

OldAlias
Nov 2, 2013

I COULDN'T EVEN PLAY ONE TURN OF THE YOSPOS SMAC PBEM GAME AND ALL I GOT WAS A NERVE STAPLING AND THIS SHITTY TEXT!


speed

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

oh! i have slipped the surly bonds of earth ... put out my paw, and touched the face of meow


I'm getting back on stimulants as part of my "getting my ADD back under control again" initiative so I'm optimistic about dropping a few pounds.

OldAlias
Nov 2, 2013

I COULDN'T EVEN PLAY ONE TURN OF THE YOSPOS SMAC PBEM GAME AND ALL I GOT WAS A NERVE STAPLING AND THIS SHITTY TEXT!


coffee and cigarettes are good diet food

obstipator
Nov 8, 2009



take mini bites of food instead of mega bites

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

oh! i have slipped the surly bonds of earth ... put out my paw, and touched the face of meow

I'm thinking that the potential resulting in my landing somewhere that doesn't hand out unlimited free snacks to no-self-control me will also help?

obstipator
Nov 8, 2009



u can lose weight by farting a lot to get all the big stomach power out

be careful!: sometimes a Fart can be more than a fart

spb
Nov 11, 2013



Schadenboner posted:

I'm thinking that the potential resulting in my landing somewhere that doesn't hand out unlimited free snacks to no-self-control me will also help?

maybe they will hand out free lettuce to your fat rear end ho

carry on then
Jul 10, 2010

//SHITPOST EXEC PGM=IEBPOS



eat a diet high in fiber to fart while running to generate thrust and improve your race time

HAIL eSATA-n
Apr 7, 2007



Fun Shoe

eat food, not too much, mostly plants

alternatively ride bike for two hours, burn >1k calories, and eat whatever you want

funy computer

I HAVE GOUT
Nov 23, 2017


You know how every friday, Katie brings in a batch of donuts, which u cannot resist? Well I'm the one that pays her to do that. I pay all the Katies of every office to buy those dounuts, because I enjoy seeing fat people fail to keep up with their diet and never achieve their dreams. All those times u went on a diet in january and failed by mid january - that was my doing. I am to blame.

carry on then
Jul 10, 2010

//SHITPOST EXEC PGM=IEBPOS



I HAVE GOUT posted:

You know how every friday, Katie brings in a batch of donuts, which u cannot resist? Well I'm the one that pays her to do that. I pay all the Katies of every office to buy those dounuts, because I enjoy seeing fat people fail to keep up with their diet and never achieve their dreams. All those times u went on a diet in january and failed by mid january - that was my doing. I am to blame.

tori alt spotted

my bitter bi rival
Mar 21, 2011


heck, i could stand to lose 15 otr 20 lbs....

Silver Alicorn
Mar 30, 2008

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.


try eating a computer

OldAlias
Nov 2, 2013

I COULDN'T EVEN PLAY ONE TURN OF THE YOSPOS SMAC PBEM GAME AND ALL I GOT WAS A NERVE STAPLING AND THIS SHITTY TEXT!


computer chips ahhGafagsa

Mad Wack
Mar 27, 2008

aesthetic



Pillbug

take fewer bytes!

qhat
Jul 6, 2015

a meltdown retard



spb posted:

Alright, let's all go on a diet! What are some code body hacks to lose 20 lbs of weight?

remove the computer tower hanging from your penis

qirex
Feb 15, 2001



I hope you're all using the kevin rose fasting app to track your IF

qhat
Jul 6, 2015

a meltdown retard



i hacked my body fat percentage down to 8% and im feeling great tbh

Silver Alicorn
Mar 30, 2008

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.


Mad Wack posted:

take fewer bytes!

Bloody
Mar 3, 2013



carry on then posted:

eat a diet high in fiber to fart while running to generate thrust and improve your race time

the thrust and isp of a fart is astonishingly low

Salt Fish
Sep 11, 2003



Pillbug

Bloody posted:

the thrust and isp of a fart is astonishingly low

*flies past you in a rolling office chair*

obstipator
Nov 8, 2009



gonna try keto to get a six pack by the weekend

Stymie
Jan 9, 2001



here's some realtalk about how to approach eating and it's more of a lifestyle change than a "diet":

think about how much you want to eat and then halve that amount

then prepare that amount of food and halve it again, saving the other half for a second meal

Stymie
Jan 9, 2001



also, never eat until you reach satiety, and don't always clear your plate if you will reach satiety by eating what you have

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

oh! i have slipped the surly bonds of earth ... put out my paw, and touched the face of meow

What if you're at the table of a Central Asian warlord where failing to eat all which is offered is seen as gravely offensive, though?

Silver Alicorn
Mar 30, 2008

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.


take the RMS diet

carry on then
Jul 10, 2010

//SHITPOST EXEC PGM=IEBPOS



Stymie posted:

here's some realtalk about how to approach eating and it's more of a lifestyle change than a "diet":

think about how much you want to eat and then halve that amount

then prepare that amount of food and halve it again, saving the other half for a second meal

this literally doesn't work, i can't survive on a quarter of a chicken breast and a quarter scoop of vegetables per day

Salt Fish
Sep 11, 2003



Pillbug

Silver Alicorn posted:

take the RMS diet

haah I can eat whatever I want, plus whatever falls off my foot, but only during times of the day when I'm using fully free and open software.

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

oh! i have slipped the surly bonds of earth ... put out my paw, and touched the face of meow

carry on then posted:

this literally doesn't work, i can't survive on a quarter of a chicken breast and a quarter scoop of vegetables per day

Stymequoters should be on a diet of bread and water in solitary confinement, hth.

Stymie
Jan 9, 2001



carry on then posted:

this literally doesn't work, i can't survive on a quarter of a chicken breast and a quarter scoop of vegetables per day

i think you'd be surprised to find out that you actually can!

however, that is an extremely disingenuous example because people vastly underestimate the amount of food they eat and halving then halving again brings the quantity of food down to closer to a reasonable level

the 2000 calorie diet is calculated for a 6' tall 200 pound person which is still grossly overweight by any sensible standard

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carry on then
Jul 10, 2010

//SHITPOST EXEC PGM=IEBPOS



Stymie posted:

i think you'd be surprised to find out that you actually can!

150 kcal/day

no

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