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African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

They currently have 0 medals. Hell, Australia has 2 medals and it's summer down there right now. There have to be some decent athletes in the UK.

They have shown they are willing to bend the rules and dope to do well at sport like with their cycling program full of drugs cheats. Why not pump some money into speed skating or something? Is the BBC even airing the games?

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Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009


I would expect them to be good at sports where you have knives on your feet, combining their two favorite things: knifecrime and footy. They canít even manage that!

Aubergine Mage
Mar 11, 2008



No one's playing cricket so they can't be bothered op

nature6pk
May 26, 2006
Left Coast Lame-o

Whistler is polluted with Aussie scum every winter problem solved

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

nature6pk posted:

Whistler is polluted with Aussie scum every winter problem solved

Fernie too. They have to go back.

Loving Africa Chaps
Dec 3, 2007


We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.



we're using our illegal cycling skin suits in the skeleton op so stay tuned

Ola
Jul 19, 2004



When Strava released their heatmap, I was surprised to see a lot of winter sports taking place in London. It seemed weird that people would be skating or skiing around Hyde Park. Then I figured it out, London joggers select the snow crystal tag when it's cold, so most Londoners' idea of winter sports is "jogging while cold".

So I think the biggest reason is that the UK doesn't have a tradition for the particular sports, so they don't get many viewers, low funding from sponsors and a small pool of recruits to pick talent from. Dutch speed skaters, Norwegian cross country skiers, Austrian alpine skiers are examples to the contrary.

Some notable exceptions to the rule I happen to be a big fan of are Andrew Musgrave, who has a medal chance in 15 km cross country, and Dave Ryding in slalom.

Tuiri
Jun 9, 2013


There is a program set up to improve British speed skating, with the goal I think to at least get to Winter Olympics in the coming future, which would be plenty impressive since they don't even have skaters participating in the world cup at the moment.

vdarknight
Jul 4, 2007



Because whenever we see snow/ice here, there tends to be a freakout and chaos ensues. Proof - the headlines every time we get a few cm of snow.
I guess also that to practice those sports properly means going to a country with actual snow, and that needs money. I'm not going to spend money falling over and getting cold in another country but I'm poor and of the underclass - doesn't appeal and I tend to react in an interesting way when surrounded by the privileged rich. gently caress 'em.

sleep with the vicious
Apr 2, 2010


Ola posted:

When Strava released their heatmap, I was surprised to see a lot of winter sports taking place in London. It seemed weird that people would be skating or skiing around Hyde Park. Then I figured it out, London joggers select the snow crystal tag when it's cold, so most Londoners' idea of winter sports is "jogging while cold".

So I think the biggest reason is that the UK doesn't have a tradition for the particular sports, so they don't get many viewers, low funding from sponsors and a small pool of recruits to pick talent from. Dutch speed skaters, Norwegian cross country skiers, Austrian alpine skiers are examples to the contrary.

Some notable exceptions to the rule I happen to be a big fan of are Andrew Musgrave, who has a medal chance in 15 km cross country, and Dave Ryding in slalom.

Its not even cold there though. 5 degrees mate let's go get eggy toast instead

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Ola posted:

When Strava released their heatmap, I was surprised to see a lot of winter sports taking place in London. It seemed weird that people would be skating or skiing around Hyde Park. Then I figured it out, London joggers select the snow crystal tag when it's cold, so most Londoners' idea of winter sports is "jogging while cold".


This made me lol thank you

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

SPACE FACE! SPACE FACE!

Limeys are pretty decent at curling, thought I think they get to snipe the Scottish curlers?

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011


no mountains

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Kurtofan posted:

no mountains

There are ski hills in the UK, and Holland has no mountains and they get loads of medals in skating

Ola
Jul 19, 2004



15 km cross country starting now. Andrew Musgrave is British if he wins, Scottish if not.

bump_fn
Apr 12, 2004

aaaaaaaaaag


Ham Wrangler

they just got a bronze in skeleton which seems appropriate

stone cold
Feb 15, 2014



African AIDS cum posted:

There are ski hills in the UK, and Holland has no mountains and they get loads of medals in skating

since when do you need mountains to skate

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

bump_fn posted:

they just got a bronze in skeleton which seems appropriate
Now they are tied for 48th place in the medal count with Krygyzyzstan

Toplowtech
Aug 31, 2004



African AIDS cum posted:

There are ski hills in the UK, and Holland has no mountains and they get loads of medals in skating
It involves local towns and cities in Holland investing millions of Ä in infrastructure, so the answer to the "Why can't england have nice things" question is as always "BECAUSE TATCHERISM!".

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006

Fee Fi Fo Fat,
I smell the blood of a Plutocrat!

Curling is a minor Scottish tradition (all GB curlers are Scottish) and there's some basic ski facilities here. Day-trip worthy, not holiday worthy.

England has nothing. In general I mean.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.


Lack of cold weather and a lack of sitting down sports.

Slightly more serious answer: the UK has an extremely cut-throat funding system. After the Summer Games in 1996, which probably ranks up there as the worst performance for a highly developed nation in an Olympic Games ever (36th, with a single gold. 15 medals total so it was some variance, but even 15 total is majorly lacking compared to France/Germany/Italy who are reasonably comparable.)

Since then, UK Sport, which assigns funding to sports, adopted a highly targeted approach of basically defunding no-hoper sports and pumping extra cash into sports with medal potential. Over time that eventually led to Rio 2016, the only time in history where a host nation has increased its medal haul in the next Olympics, and a crazy over-performance - potentially the last time a much smaller nation will ever come ahead of China.

The knock on effect of this is that the UK Winter Sports don't have much funding, which means they don't win, which means people don't watch, which means people don't get involved, which means that there's no expectation that the UK will ever be particularly successful outside of anomaly athletes.

Every top nation in the Winter Olympics has winter resorts, snow and mountains of some sort except the Netherlands who win 100% of their medals in skating, which has a long cultural history there and a long-established successful athlete training programme. Yes, even Australia has mountains and skiing. Places to ski in the UK are extremely limited, pretty much every UK Winter Olympian trains abroad.

sweek0
May 22, 2006

Let me fall out the window
With confetti in my hair
Deal out jacks or better
On a blanket by the stairs
I'll tell you all my secrets
But I lie about my past


Britain just won their first skiing medal in the women's slopestyle!

OK so she was born in Boston, lives in Utah, but has a British father and competes for Britain.

Loving Africa Chaps
Dec 3, 2007


We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.



1st and 3rd in the women's skeleton

Purple Monkey
May 5, 2014

Hello

If we have proven anything it is that we're the kings and queens of hurling ourselves headfirst down a slope

sweek0
May 22, 2006

Let me fall out the window
With confetti in my hair
Deal out jacks or better
On a blanket by the stairs
I'll tell you all my secrets
But I lie about my past


Purple Monkey posted:

If we have proven anything it is that we're the kings and queens of hurling ourselves headfirst down a slope

You proved that with Brexit.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.


sweek0 posted:

You proved that with Brexit.

Pissflaps
Oct 20, 2002



Because we havenít really tried yet.

If and when we do, youíll see us dominate them like we do the summer games.

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

sweek0 posted:

Britain just won their first skiing medal in the women's slopestyle!

OK so she was born in Boston, lives in Utah, but has a British father and competes for Britain.

She sucked too, Maggie Voisin got robbed

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Pissflaps posted:

Because we havenít really tried yet.

If and when we do, youíll see us dominate them like we do the summer games.

Are you in charge of doping?

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009


Loving Africa Chaps posted:

1st and 3rd in the women's skeleton

Calm down Ian Huntley

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African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Bobby Digital posted:

Calm down Ian Huntley

Wow

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