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tried to kick a guy in the head after he groped my friend's sister's tit but I had the spins really bad and wound up hitting a fish tank instead. broke one toe and knocked the entire toenail off my big toe. those fish wound up dying later after someone dropped a 4-loko in their tank.
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Feb 14, 2018 17:58
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client posted:those fish wound up dying later after someone dropped a 4-loko in their tank.
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Feb 14, 2018 18:03
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I was drunk and watching Beavis and Butthead and one of them was playing this knife game where you stab in between your spread out fingers as fast as you can. On the show they were just using a pencil but I thought it looked cool so I did it with my pocket knife and now I have a scar on my finger. Beavis and Butthead are not role models.
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Feb 14, 2018 18:03
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Ein cooler Typ posted:I was drunk and watching Beavis and Butthead and one of them was playing this knife game where you stab in between your spread out fingers as fast as you can. On the show they were just using a pencil but I thought it looked cool so I did it with my pocket knife and now I have a scar on my finger. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtrFjqoimcc
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Feb 14, 2018 18:06
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One time I was skipping down the sidewalk singing show tunes and fell flat on my face. I was so drunk I didn't have the reflex to put my arms out. Two black eyes and a minor concussion.
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Feb 14, 2018 18:07
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I fell through my Uncle's wall when I got so drunk I couldn't stand at one of his New Year's parties. I didn't get hurt by that somehow. Or maybe I did get concussed but don't remember. That's also a possibility. This isn't me but in a similar vein I was at a bar once getting hammered and some short Asian dude must have way out did me because the poor guy fell through a glass window and into the sidewalk nearby. It wasn't elevated luckily so he didn't break anything as far as I know but he was bleeding from shattering the glass and quite obviously concussed from it.
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Feb 14, 2018 18:12
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Got drunk at a friend's St. Patrick's Day party and took a car trunk lid to the forehead (I leaned down as it was popping open). Only time I've ever literally seen stars. Concussion city.
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Feb 14, 2018 18:29
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polished off half a bottle of fireball or tequila or something in a hot-tub. i didn't realize i almost killed myself that night, because I did this after drinking 7 shots of vodka. luckily i just passed out in the back yard three times, only to be awoken by the sprinklers. I woke up drunk which was very unfun until I managed to get into the bathroom after half an hour of trying. after that it was chill
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Feb 14, 2018 18:51
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One other time I was out with buddies on our kayaks, and when we stopped at walgreens for beer before we got to the put in spot I noticed they had these "pinot grigio" juice box things like 2 for $4 so I bought like six of them. They were super super bad, and I didn't realize until way later that each juice box was like two or three full glasses of wine. In between vomiting into the river I was doing frontflips off the bow of my kayak and bashed my head on it real good a couple times. That was pretty dumb.
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Feb 14, 2018 19:40
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freshman year of college coming back from a party, this girl tried to jump on my friend's back. she missed and faceplanted, knocking out her two front teeth. she had them replaced the next day, as she showed them off at the next party that night. I think she transferred out after that semester. recalling that story has made me remember a work trip to a convention in Orlando, walking back to the hotel shuttle after a booze party and Flo Rida concert at the convention, my coworker tripped on the sidewalk and faceplanted. she had not lost any teeth, but her face was pretty hosed up.
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Feb 14, 2018 19:43
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January 2009-- I scaled the exterior of my apartment building to get to the balcony attached to my bedroom to win a bet with my roommate. I scrapped my arms and chest in the process. February 2010 (Teaching English in central China)-- During a night of drinking, I convinced my coworker, a former police chief from Nevada, to restrain me like she would a suspect. I sprained my shoulder attempting to resist. March 2012-- After chopping down tequila at a coworkers house party I started playing around with my other coworker's dog. I slipped and fell while chasing it around the backyard-- possibly because I was wearing dress shoes. I gouged a chunk out of the back of my knee cap and had to get my knee scoped to remove the fragment so my knee cap would sit on top of the joint. July 4th 2017-- While playing a game where you attempt to catch a football while jumping in the pool I lost track of the ball and it hit me in the face and gave me a black eye. Gotta say, when I think of all the intoxicated wrestling matches, foot races, and softball games I'm kind of impressed that I can't think of more injuries from intoxication.
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Feb 14, 2018 20:02
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I got into a fist fight in a xanax fugue that knocked a hole in my drywall and caused a crown to fall out about 6 weeks later, broke a mattress frame and gave me a head swelling and ive never instigated a fight in my life but i remember enough that i know i started that one. It was a learning moment of "dont do xanax shithead" that left a lot of damage to be learned
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Feb 14, 2018 20:02
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all the drinking injuries i can remember have only been to my dignity
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Feb 14, 2018 20:04
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ohhh man i remember one time i got so blackout with my bros...i woke up and we discovered we'd chopped off our own dicks and balls
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Feb 14, 2018 20:21
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I'm in the broken toe club, broke my big toe while stumbling around drunk without shoes on. some cuts and burns from trying to cook but that happens sober too.
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Feb 14, 2018 20:40
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June 2012: After getting blackout drunk in NYC, according to my very patient friends I screamed at people in Spanish on the street and then dove headfirst into into a subway entrance. Everyone was apparently very concerned with me and like the scene near the end of Spider-Man 2, New Yorkers lifted me up on their shoulders and carried me to safety. Okay that last part isn't true, but apparently onlookers were very chill and nice. The next morning I could barely move of course and I didn't know why. thannks for reading
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Feb 14, 2018 21:00
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My roommate in college bought some throwing knives and a foam target that we set up in our apartment (the target didn't help much, more often than not they went into the wall). I got drunk one night and was loving around with them and one hit the wall and ricocheted into the top of my foot. I stopped playing around with them drunk after that.
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Feb 14, 2018 21:29
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I got so drunk I passed out in an ant bed woke up covered in bites good times
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Feb 14, 2018 21:44
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Mozi posted:all the drinking injuries i can remember have only been to my dignity  Dignity related: Got drunk at a football players house my dad and I were at and tried to dance with another football players girlfriend. Surprisingly made it home without getting my rear end beat.
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Feb 14, 2018 21:44
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got extremely drunk in a hotel room partying with some friends, dragged self into bathroom to throw up, took a toilet seat to the bridge of my nose woke up face down on the floor wondering why my nose hurt so god drat much, until I put the previous night together Code Jockey fucked around with this message at 22:01 on Feb 14, 2018 |
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Feb 14, 2018 21:47
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Dropped a bong on my foot once, as a teenager. No injuries beyond minor bruising, just lots of glass.
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Feb 14, 2018 21:50
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I got super hosed up playing paintball in an abandoned train station once. Fell through a hole in the floor straight down to the basement. Crushed all the cartilage in my foot, it was badass
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Feb 14, 2018 21:53
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Beet Wagon posted:I threw my back out trying (successfully, I might add) to throw a toilet over a privacy fence to my friend, once. Did your friend catch the toilet?
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Feb 14, 2018 22:49
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unpleasantly turgid posted:polished off half a bottle of fireball or tequila or something in a hot-tub. i didn't realize i almost killed myself that night, because I did this after drinking 7 shots of vodka. luckily i just passed out in the back yard three times, only to be awoken by the sprinklers. I woke up drunk which was very unfun until I managed to get into the bathroom after half an hour of trying. Yeah you really know you had a rough night when you wake up a few hours later and you're still god damned drunk.
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Feb 14, 2018 22:56
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Drunk me: Woke up covered in blood not knowing why till I saw in the mirror I had a broken nose and two black eyes. Fell down stairs and broke big toe Fell down stairs and broke a bone in the top of my foot Got burns and cuts on arms and face from blowing up a potato gun shooting firework mortars out of it Tripped over dog and broke a rib on kitchen counter Various drugs me: Fell off 2nd floor balcony, surprisingly just sore Boxer break fighting a fridge bruised throat getting close lined by a tree Friends on various things: Jumped out of moving car because he though we were taking him out to kill him Jumped off roof...he did not fly Lost in the woods for 2 days Broken nose from face planting the pavement Almost drowned falling in pool when they passed out while walking cracked skull from a rock off a 3rd floor balcony; he didn't catch it Fell through the ceiling into neighbors apartment All kinds of beat up, maced, and tazed by two cops knocked out by a keg rolling his car while coming back to our camp site Tried to ride on top of my car and I slammed on the breaks sending him flying Fell out of the back of a truck doing about 40mph, broke his arm Ah, to be young and dumb.
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Feb 14, 2018 23:04
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JEEVES420 posted:Jumped out of moving car because he though we were taking him out to kill him Well, were you? My buddy tore open his scrotum while drunk and trying to jump/climb over a fence post. He said it didn't hurt because of the inebriation and the nurse who sewed up his junk at the ER was hot so it was hard not to get a boner when she touched him.
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Feb 14, 2018 23:23
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friend and I were drunkenly walking, got lost, and found ourselves along the side of the interstate. we didn't want to walk all the way back so we tried to find a portion of chain link fence without barbed wire on it to climb over as a shortcut. still managed to slice most of my thigh
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Feb 14, 2018 23:27
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Jose posted:I had a friend jump head first into my double glazed bathroom window, smashing it, trying to kill himself while having a freak out on acid op. he hosed his shoulder up real bad and lost tons of blood but didn't go through at least. I was real hosed up and only noticed like 8 hours later This is a real apt metaphor for your moderation style
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Feb 14, 2018 23:34
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T.S. Smelliot posted:This is a real apt metaphor for your moderation style Are you on acid because that would honestly explain a shitload of things
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Feb 14, 2018 23:38
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Well what loving board game was it OP?
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Feb 14, 2018 23:40
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Moridin920 posted:Well what loving board game was it OP? Uh we played like 4 games before the host passed out drunk in her basement. Let's see, I remember playing Anomia and The Resistance, then watched King of Tokyo and it gets pretty fuzzy after that.
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Feb 14, 2018 23:50
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Vato posted:Did your friend catch the toilet? He did! We drug it into my back yard in between my girlfriend coming out to check to see if people needed drinks, and the next time she came out I was sitting on it instead of the giant picnic table (which we also stole) and she got super confused and then super mad. Later I planted a palm tree in it and called it my toilet-tree.
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Feb 15, 2018 00:21
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Broken eye orbit in three places, blown out orbital floor, broken nose, eyelid stitched up, scalp stapled several times, and I suppose the big winner is the subarachnoid brain hemmorhage. Fake edit: Due to blowing out my orbital floor when everything healed up now my right optic nerve settled in lower than it's supposed to and.now when I look at things in my periohery my right eye gets a little squiggly. Ah, to be young again
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Feb 15, 2018 00:26
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