Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«5 »
  • Locked thread
roboshit
Apr 4, 2009



- a bad computer that mines bitcoins using peoples brains processing power making the victims feel retarded
- a bad computer that makes you an athlete but cuts 30 years off your life span
- a good computer that monitors your colon for farts and sprays febreze at the same time as the fart

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011



roboshit posted:

- a bad computer that mines bitcoins using peoples brains processing power making the victims feel retarded
- a bad computer that makes you an athlete but cuts 30 years off your life span
- a good computer that monitors your colon for farts and sprays febreze at the same time as the fart

Hey! It's roboshit!

pram
Jun 10, 2001


computer that wants you to stop all the downloadin'

roboshit
Apr 4, 2009



pram posted:

computer that wants you to stop all the downloadin'

how about a bad computer that puts all your downloads in your brain until your brain stops working

OldAlias
Nov 2, 2013

I COULDN'T EVEN PLAY ONE TURN OF THE YOSPOS SMAC PBEM GAME AND ALL I GOT WAS A NERVE STAPLING AND THIS SHITTY TEXT!


everyones search history is available for everyone to see

obstipator
Nov 8, 2009



- a computer who becomes terminator and kills humans (us) !!

flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock



a computer that tells you who made the thing you bought, so you pass his name around and buy more things from him

except in dystopia where things are made, the worst people are given things to make and if they can't fulfil enough orders they get a torture

Scott Baio Nudes
May 25, 2009

We don't need Rome telling us what to do.


a computer that makes this thread good

Zlodo
Nov 24, 2006


your phone calls. Caller ID says it's your mom so you eagerly pick up in anticipation for your daily dose of proper human interaction.
but its just a computer reciting op's posts in your mom's voice

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011



Zlodo posted:

your phone calls. Caller ID says it's your mom so you eagerly pick up in anticipation for your daily dose of proper human interaction.
but its just a computer reciting op's posts in your mom's voice

I'd actually pay for this, I miss my mom.

flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock



a woman finds her husband cheating on her with a woman who promotes him to a high ranking job at dystopian radio station, where executive must wear always on earpieces

The jilted wife kills their son and turns a recording of it into a #1 hit song, which the station plays relentlessly until he carves it out of his head with a pair of kitchen scissors

flakeloaf fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2018 around 21:48

flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock



Schadenboner posted:

I'd actually pay for this, I miss my mom.



that was a max headroom episode

netwerk23
Aug 22, 2000
I spelled 'network' wrong.

when you die you can pay to have your consciousness uploaded into a computer and keep living, but it's very expensive. A rich dude dies and awakes in a Chinese gold farm where he has to find spells or whatever people grind in MMPORGs. As a reward for finding XX amount he gets YY amount of time in a fun computer world but then must return to keep grinding. Maybe he breaks out? IDK

obstipator
Nov 8, 2009



a computer thats a really good chef but then its revealed it cuts up humans and serves them. and he goes terminator and kills everyone !!

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011



A CJ ridicules accessibility requirements at a meeting at work, then discovers it was a dream and he's actually an incomplete quad locked out of using modern technology by those self-same attitudes he expressed during his dream-meeting!

obstipator
Nov 8, 2009



Schadenboner posted:

A CJ ridicules accessibility requirements at a meeting at work, then discovers it was a dream and he's actually an incomplete quad locked out of using modern technology by those self-same attitudes he expressed during his dream-meeting!

frightening !!

obstipator
Nov 8, 2009



A CJ spends all his time adding aria tags to his html markup. instead of getting that big raise he was expecting, he gets fired and on the way home a bunch of disabled people beat him with crutches

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



just a computer

qirex
Feb 15, 2001



a man uses a futuristic holographic dating service and realtime face-changing software to cheat on his wife and gets into an online relationship but when finally meeting the other woman irl it was his wife all along who was using the same service to try to cheat on her husband

also the main characters' last name is buffet holmes and that pina colada song is playing in the background at the bar where they meet because subtlety is for losers

edit for musical accuracy

qirex fucked around with this message at Feb 14, 2018 around 23:13

qirex
Feb 15, 2001



a student is home from college for thanksgiving and must try to get google photos, apple photos and amazon photos working together on 3 computers and 5 phones before the turkey is done

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



oh no, no-one does anything to the computer. it just sits there

qirex
Feb 15, 2001



Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

oh no, no-one does anything to the computer. it just sits there

a truly chilling look at our bleak future

bump_fn
Apr 12, 2004




Scratchmo

a ripoff of a well known sci fi story except now peolpe have iphones

qirex
Feb 15, 2001



bump_fn posted:

a ripoff of a well known sci fi story except now peolpe have iphones

the world's greatest dota pro has an adderal-induced heart attack during a tournament, when he comes to in heaven he discovers that he can't be beaten at dota but his twitch viewer count never exceeds 5 people

maybe he's not in heaven at all???

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011



qirex posted:

a man uses a futuristic holographic dating service and realtime face-changing software to cheat on his wife and gets into an online relationship but when finally meeting the other woman irl it was his wife all along who was using the same service to try to cheat on her husband

also the main characters' last name is buffet and that pina colada song is playing in the background at the bar where they meet because subtlety is for losers

Jimmy Buffett didn't write Escape though, it was Rupert Holmes?

qirex
Feb 15, 2001



Schadenboner posted:

Jimmy Buffett didn't write Escape though, it was Rupert Holmes?


an internet poster is factually wrong but must figure out an acceptable excuse for his wrongness or risk looking foolish on a dumb computer forum

roboshit
Apr 4, 2009



netwerk23 posted:

when you die you can pay to have your consciousness uploaded into a computer and keep living, but it's very expensive. A rich dude dies and awakes in a Chinese gold farm where he has to find spells or whatever people grind in MMPORGs. As a reward for finding XX amount he gets YY amount of time in a fun computer world but then must return to keep grinding. Maybe he breaks out? IDK

that but make it gta online and you can never buy any shark cards

Scott Baio Nudes
May 25, 2009

We don't need Rome telling us what to do.


a person slaves away all day at their dystopian future job only to come home every night to spend every other waking moment in a virtual world where they post on message boards

pram
Jun 10, 2001


obstipator posted:

A CJ spends all his time adding aria tags to his html markup. instead of getting that big raise he was expecting, he gets fired and on the way home a bunch of disabled people beat him with crutches

lol

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004









College Slice

artificially created porn so it looks real but itís your dad and your uncle reaming each other out (as in, taking turns) and thereís heaps of gaping n poo poo and you have to watch it to win a million dollars

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011



echinopsis posted:

artificially created porn so it looks real but itís your dad and your uncle reaming each other out (as in, taking turns) and thereís heaps of gaping n poo poo and you have to watch it to win a million dollars

Do I get to pick which uncle?

rjmccall
Sep 7, 2007

no worries friend

Fun Shoe

a ten year old boy finds a cool new vr place where all the funny subversive kids hang out. he lurks for months, finally makes a joke, it falls flat, everybody laughs at him. he flames out hard but someone pmís him and tells him to ride it out. gradually he gets the hang of the place and is accepted. flash forward years and heís eighteen, most of his spare time is spent in vr, all his friends are there. he wants to meet his best friend in person, but theyíre suspiciously reticent. he does some research into the vr siteís hosting, again itís weirdly mysterious, but eventually he gets around the blocks and finds an address. he heads to the place and sees... his mother. his mother programmed the whole thing, heís been talking to bots for eight years

roboshit
Apr 4, 2009



rjmccall posted:

a ten year old boy finds a cool new vr place where all the funny subversive kids hang out. he lurks for months, finally makes a joke, it falls flat, everybody laughs at him. he flames out hard but someone pmís him and tells him to ride it out. gradually he gets the hang of the place and is accepted. flash forward years and heís eighteen, most of his spare time is spent in vr, all his friends are there. he wants to meet his best friend in person, but theyíre suspiciously reticent. he does some research into the vr siteís hosting, again itís weirdly mysterious, but eventually he gets around the blocks and finds an address. he heads to the place and sees... his mother. his mother programmed the whole thing, heís been talking to bots for eight years

this is good it could be worked into that copypasta about the dad crying that his son is a loser and the son sleeps in parking lots overnight to create the illusion that he has a social life

GameCube
Nov 21, 2006



rjmccall posted:

a ten year old boy finds a cool new vr place where all the funny subversive kids hang out. he lurks for months, finally makes a joke, it falls flat, everybody laughs at him. he flames out hard but someone pmís him and tells him to ride it out. gradually he gets the hang of the place and is accepted. flash forward years and heís eighteen, most of his spare time is spent in vr, all his friends are there. he wants to meet his best friend in person, but theyíre suspiciously reticent. he does some research into the vr siteís hosting, again itís weirdly mysterious, but eventually he gets around the blocks and finds an address. he heads to the place and sees... his mother. his mother programmed the whole thing, heís been talking to bots for eight years

stopped reading halfway through when i realized the ten year old boy wasn't going to develop prodromal schizophrenia. sorry

RISCy Business
Jun 17, 2015

bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork


Fun Shoe

ffffffffffffffffffffffffart

Tankakern
Jul 25, 2007



Fun Shoe

obstipator posted:

A CJ spends all his time adding aria tags to his html markup. instead of getting that big raise he was expecting, he gets fired and on the way home a bunch of disabled people beat him with crutches

i dont know why i find this one so funny

The Puppet Master
Apr 9, 2005

Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard.




trump, but he's a computer

bump_fn
Apr 12, 2004




Scratchmo

lowtax has to gently caress a pig live on tv to save the forums

roboshit
Apr 4, 2009



bump_fn posted:

lowtax has to gently caress a pig live on tv to save the forums

that but instead of loving the pig he has to successfully surprise sex uwe boll

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

bicycle
Oct 22, 2013


an NSA analyst slowly falls in love with a target she is monitoring. she illegally uses some of the TAO toolset to stop him from communicating with terrorists - and gets busted by her boss. shes forced to hide from both the government and the enemy, and protect the one she loves

  • Locked thread
«5 »