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  From the makers of Folklore, Majin and the Forsaken Kingdom, and... Clash of the Titans: The Video Game comes the title which often shows up in the lists of the worst games of its generation. It was the swan song of the studio: a few months after the release the staff were scattered to the winds. Some of them ended up working on models for the current Pokémon games, The Evil Within, Resident Evil 7, and even designing battles for Bravely Default and Bravely Second. Knights Contract wasn't made by hopeless talentless idiots, and yet it failed.   Some dude at IGN says quote:Knights Contract is a miserable game that I hope you do not have the misfortune to play.   So, is it really that bad? Is it... poo poo? Let's be optimistic! Let's find out! Let's solve the mystery of the missing possessive case in the title! I am not planning to ace Knights Contract, we're simply getting through and admiring the scenery.  NO SPOILERSMAIN CHARACTERS  Heinrich is a knight carrying a huge scythe to compensate for his small head. Normally, peasants would bend the blade of their scythe to turn it into a more handy spear, but Heinrich is not educated in the ways of peasantry, partly due to prejudice, partly because most of them have died of the plague. Our brave hero cannot be killed by anything apart from grief.  Gretchen is a witch. Well, technically, she is the soul of a witch, manning an artificial body. Gretchen is planning a big reunion party with her old witching buddies, and Heinrich got invited as the stripper.  Minukelsus is an apprentice alchemist (a nerd) and the funny sidekick who hasn't earned a proper promotional artwork. He's quite spry for someone wearing the period's equivalent of a hazmat suit. UPDATES                     
SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at 14:05 on Apr 24, 2018 |
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Feb 27, 2018 05:16
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Hello, and welcome to the show.  Death-Ridden Town Our antagonist this evening is witch Straeggele.  It must be easy to fly on your inflated burned lungs when you've got so much flesh cut off.
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Feb 27, 2018 05:17
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CommissarMega posted:Is it all right if I posted the voice cast for this game, since it obviously reveals characters we haven't met yet? Because for such an apparently bad game, it's got a stellar voice cast.
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Feb 27, 2018 10:11
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 The Knight's Contract Straeggele has a human side, too.  If that's the ribcage up there, does it mean the face grows from the pelvic area? SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at 15:35 on Mar 1, 2018 |
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Feb 27, 2018 15:14
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Lots of wood in this one.  The Frozen Forest Gretchen's default outfit is a clusterfuck of chaps, a battle bra and a quilted sleeve.  But at least it's optional.
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Mar 1, 2018 18:16
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Glazius posted:Was the studio just closing by this point and this was an attempt to get some money out of it?
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Mar 4, 2018 18:39
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You know those moments in games when you nail a QTE finisher prompt, but the character misses a canned attack animation against an immobile enemy, so the finisher doesn't count? It's one of those days...  Finding the Ice Lord ...and I don't think legs bend like this... Heinrich is a big fan of leather pants, and other hard-to-mend clothing. It's very odd given his condition.  The shaft of the scythe is made up of so many pieces it should probably break apart with each swing.
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Mar 5, 2018 19:51
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She also somehow knew her new, very detailed, body would be ready just in time for the witches' revengeance.
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Mar 7, 2018 17:55
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Who can screw up more today: the devs or me?  The Serpent's Den I wonder why a good deal of released enemy art for Knights Contract focused on Stra...  ...Oh.
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Mar 8, 2018 19:31
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This is fine. A Town Ablaze There are some unusual details under Holda's flaming skeleton look.  The split toe metal boots must be a pain to wear.
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Mar 13, 2018 15:47
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The dialogue gets more amusing if you remember the original meaning of 'decimate.' The Burning Tyrant Game Republic presents Asses of Fire.  There are so many flames it's a total mess. You don't have to go that far to convey an idea. 
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Mar 15, 2018 17:30
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Watch the boss health bar from start to finish  He Who Desires Eternity There isn't much art onilne for anything apart from the witch bosses. And half of that is Straeggele.  Let's make a spear better by increasing drag.
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Mar 16, 2018 17:41
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My favourite part is his recoil animation.
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Mar 18, 2018 05:42
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So, the next level's footage is... uh... 50 minutes long, so it might take a while. But here's a sample of the game's gorgeous writing 
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Mar 18, 2018 11:34
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Something about this level gets in my hair. The Entangled Castle Try walking the way this guy does for an hour. 
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Mar 20, 2018 12:33
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I've found the one thing that can instantly kill Heinrich while Gretchen's OK. Furious Lightning Our host tonight is...  She never got better after that trip to Willy Wonka's.
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Mar 24, 2018 02:09
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This obnoxious castle'd better end on a high note. To the Unforeseen Future What's the first thing that comes into your mind when you think about Rapunzel?  It's this now.
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Mar 25, 2018 07:37
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You may be expecting the worst but not this, I bet. The Witch's Enclosure Under all that armour wights are cute and fluffy.  OK, there's another set of armour under the first one.
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Mar 27, 2018 17:57
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Someone in the thread has asked for this. The Witch's Enclosure Here's some colour. 
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Apr 2, 2018 19:35
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Melaneus posted:Also, which move is most worthy of the title "The Heinrich Maneuver"?
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Apr 3, 2018 10:27
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What do you call it when a level is recycled twice? The Witch's Enclosure Rapunzel's art may be bland, but the cheap in-game model still failed to do it justice. 
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Apr 5, 2018 18:11
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When implementing a 'rain' spell, it's advisable to make sure there's an actual projectile coming from above, instead of it spawning directly on the ground. The Witch's Enclosure Here's a scale model. 
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Apr 9, 2018 17:50
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She's the witch of WHAT?! The Witch's Enclosure The witch of falling over due to impractical clothing. 
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Apr 10, 2018 13:20
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Knight contracts jaundice. Walpurgis Night There are a few early renders online with slightly different faces on the main characters.  The proportions look a bit off too.
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Apr 15, 2018 13:04
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Witches suck at home maintenance. And traps.  The Witches' Ruins Oddly, the early Gretchen doesn't look like Folklore's main character. 
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Apr 21, 2018 02:47
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Feel my powah!  An Old Score to Settle They ordered a trailer at Blur Studio: the renders look nothing like the game. 
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Apr 23, 2018 15:37
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Godlike creatures have the oddest weaknesses.  A Battle of Belief It should have ended right there, at the early Blur trailers: Heinrich & Gretchen. Witches murdering the hell out of a town. This one's  
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Apr 24, 2018 14:03
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 06:06 |
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Splatterhouse is the true sequel. Wait, it was released in 2010.
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Apr 24, 2018 17:59
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