Critical Role (on Twitch/Youtube, yes) - Jester's mom is the best lay ever

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Critical Role (on Twitch/Youtube, yes) - Jester's mom is the best lay ever

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Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

C-SPAN Caller posted:

If they get acquired it would kind of own because the brand would be a big waste of rich people money to buy once the cast take their checks and leave and nobody cares anymore.

Then just start over with another dnd stream

Yeah, this isn�t like purchasing LucasArts and therefore the rights to future Star Wars movies and the infinite money printing machine therein. The �brand�s� value isn�t Critical Role, its value is These Particular Amazing Lunatics Playing Dungeons and Dragons.

If Disney buys out Critical Role, they�d have to keep the cast if they wanted any return on that investment, and these guys aren�t going to accept a contract that involves forcing them to do a whole bunch of corporate money grabbing bullshit they wouldn�t otherwise be willing to do. If some dumb rear end hypothetical parent corporation started donating Critical Role proceeds to anti-LGBT think tanks or whatever, they�d immediately have ~~eight~~ Nein vacant seats on their set. Same with some other dumb HR decision like �hey we�re going to kick Ashley off the show because we think there�s too much conflict with her Blindspot 2: Even More Blind shooting schedule.�

# ¿ Oct 27, 2020 22:25

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 14:02

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

tsob posted:

Isn't doing a whole bunch of corporate money grubbing bullshit basically Sam's brand? I realize he's going to have some lines he's not willing to cross, but being a sell out willing to hawk crap is the persona he's built up for himself across the two campaigns at this point.

�Sam might do exactly what he has been doing for five years� isn�t really an argument against what I�m saying.

If people would be worried about a hypothetical corporate buyout, I don�t think there�s anything to fear from these people.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2020 00:43

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Not really sure how this literal supervillain decides �nah I�m good,� though.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2020 18:09

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Pussy Quipped posted:

This is assuming she doesn�t have a clone in a tank in her basement or a phylactery or some other evil poo poo to let her return from the dead.

These people seem to have some weird resurrection shenanigans if Mollymauk is any indication. Maybe the Nein will resurrect her for further questioning only to be met with �Empty.... empty...�

# ¿ Nov 1, 2020 21:28

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Volte posted:

Seems like Vox Machina would probably have tried it (at least where I am, roughly 40 episodes into Campaign 1), but I can't see the Mighty Nein doing it. Especially since it costs a diamond worth 1000gp (do they even have one? Revivify diamonds are only 300gp) and under Matt's modified resurrection rules, it's possible for the attempt to fail. Not to mention, if she doesn't want to be resurrected, she doesn't have to be. It would be a crap-shoot and that's before even considering the fact that it might be a terrible idea in the first place. What they're doing seems like the logical course to me.

There's no scenario in which the literal supervillain chooses to stay dead. But that's assuming she's not in a Mollymauk situation where she comes back "...empty."

Senjuro posted:

She hasn't been dead that long, Raise Dead and a 500gp diamond will suffice. I think the Speak with Dead spell proved she'll be willing to talk so it's worth a shot. It's better than their current plan of blindly stumbling forward which they themselves note is stupid.

I think the way that Matt has interpreted the spell makes this not so clear. The spirit isn't present and the motivations of the corpse are minimal and vestigial. It can recognize friend or foe and choose to be helpful or not, but it's probably not a great predictor of future behavior after a hypothetical resurrection because the corpse just isn't capable of speculating on its now-gone spirit's actions.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2020 22:52

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Dexo posted:

Trickery is probably on the lower tier of Clerics, but Clerics are one of the most powerful classes, the Mighty Nein having two of them is p much god mode.

Their Spell List is great, but the class abilities are meh compared to other clerics.

In terms of general combat power, yeah, Trickery clerics are definitely on the weaker side. (hence the grognard response) The duplicate eats up your bonus action to move around which is troublesome in higher level combat, and it mostly serves as a ranged delivery for touch spells. You can also give yourself advantage on an attack... but Trickery clerics are bad at that. They get the "martial cleric" Divine Strike ability but don't get the heavy armor or martial weapon proficiency to go with it, nor any options for extra attacks. Cloak of Shadows is terrible, using a channel divinity for a one-turn invisibility.

Most of the domain spell list is also not terribly well suited for combat. Polymorph and dominate person are solid additions though.

Trickery clerics excel on the more social side of encounters, even avoiding combat entirely.

I think Critical Role inflates the impression of a Trickery cleric with a combination of Mercer being a very roleplay, social encounter-heavy DM and Laura Bailey being a mad loving genius.

quote:

Talesin probably has the best cleric class ability. In terms of Alpha damage, that he for some reason never uses.

Path to the Grave is absurd as a Channel Divinity, Especially with a Rogue just leads to loving absurd damage. Or you know, Disintegrate

Path to the Grave specifies an attack so disintegrate isn't going to work with it. Wizards are severely lacking in spells that actually make an attack roll, Caleb's best option would be picking up the ~~tame-by-comparison Crown of Stars, 7th level. Only works on one hit so it's 4d12 radiant.~~ Steel Wind Strike, 6d10 damage in a hilariously uncharacteristic-for-Caleb fashion.

Interestingly enough, Fjord is able to get into the same ballpark anyway. (Hexadins are nuts)

Their best synergy is Yasha's battlecry (just because we want advantage), PTTG, then Fjord hitting with a divine smite with one of his fifth level slots and casting Banishing Smite. (fjord has no 4th level slots)

Decided to run the math because I'm a giant nerd and I'm bored.
(1d8+5d8+5d10+5+2)*2.
(sword, smite, CHA, Star Razor bonus)

Average 61.5 damage doubled to 123. Maximum of 105 doubled to 210, because why the gently caress not.

If we want to go completely insane and assume two full rounds of successful setup, we'll say Fjord opened up with a Hexblade's Curse then Hex. Adds 1d6 + 5.

(1d8+5d8+5d10+1d6+5+5+2)*2

Average now 70 doubled to 140. Maximum now 116 doubled to 232.

Of course, we expanded Fjord's critical hit range with that Hexblade's Curse. There's a 19% chance of a critical hit when swinging with advantage.

(((1d8+5d8+5d10+1d6)*2)+5+5+2)*2

Average is now 128 doubled to 256. Maximum is 220 doubled to 440.

Nott hits pretty hard too but you cannot beat a Hexadin for nova.

Edit: This is assuming Star Razor doesn't add any other damage I'm unaware of. It's a +2 weapon when glowing, but it just "leveled up" or something and maybe it hits harder now?

Deuce fucked around with this message at 20:27 on Nov 20, 2020

# ¿ Nov 20, 2020 20:14

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

NowonSA posted:

Well with the ability to save out of the stun and the overall damage output of the worm being high but not too ridiculous, I don't think anyone would have died fighting it conventionally but they would have gotten beaten up for sure. It would have been fun to see four party members swallowed by it, then the one or two who break their stun in there do enough damage that the worm spits them all out at once.

There's a world of difference between "one spellcaster not stunned" and "everyone stunned" though, there's no doubt about that.

Matt changed up the saving throw from Wisdom to Constitution, which actually made things a lot harder. Jester, Cad, Fjord, and Caleb are all proficient in Wisdom saves, and Bo has a decent Wisdom score. Yasha and Nott are a little screwed on a DC20 Wisdom save.

While everyone has a little bit of a Constitution bonus, only Yasha is actually proficient.

As it was, it took several rounds for anyone to start breaking the stun. If the worm behaved like the Remhorraz (sp?) did way back when, swallowed a couple people then fuckin bounced while everyone else is stunned... there might be a couple of unrecovered bodies.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2020 03:43

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Antifa Spacemarine posted:

It's too bad Planeshift has that requirement to get a tuning fork, I'd love to see someone deal with these kind of creatures by just bopping them and telling them to go hand out with the Aeor in the Astral Sea.

Admin Profile brings the city back in front of the Mighty Nein and there's just this crowd of extremely dangerous and extremely angry high level monsters from the past. Big ice worm, Dragon Turtle, Vokodo in the alternate reality where they left him banished, etc.

# ¿ Nov 23, 2020 04:38

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

C-SPAN Caller posted:

Tasha's Cauldron of Everything just added a magic item that basically does that, but instead makes a permanent gate to the abyss that lasts 18 years and every 6 seconds summons a new demon by the gate calling out a demon's true name, then after18 years pass, just becomes a permanent portal to the first layer of the abyss.

I'm sure that portal to the Abyss will be really handy for the 94 million demons that have been summoned by then. Really cuts down the commute.

# ¿ Nov 23, 2020 22:33

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Drugging a giant monster baby has to be up there with the Modify Memory Cupcake in terms of sparks of mad genius.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2020 04:28

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

ullerrm posted:

It's gotta be. IIRC, the record for Campaign One was Percy doing 156 damage in one attack.

(Oddly enough, if they rolled perfectly, Caduceus would have the highest possible peak damage of anyone in the party. If he used Channel Divinity: Path to the Grave on the previous turn, that lets him double the damage of any attack. So if he then critted with Inflict Wounds at 6th level, 8d10 damage quadrupled would be anywhere between 32 and 320 damage.)

Please do not give drugs to a baby.

Fjord can do a hypothetical 440 casting Banishing Smite and burning a 5th level divine smite on a Path To The Grave critical. (Assuming the Hex and Hexblade�s Curse are up))

# ¿ Dec 13, 2020 04:30

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

tsob posted:

"There's always more drugs out there."

That said, I thought even better than her having wanted to use them on the Cerberus Assembly was her disappointment at how little effect they had on the weird baby thing. Yea, it saved her life, but that was a whole lot of drugs, and all it really did was buy a few rounds during which it could still do some minor stuff and drat, that was a lot of drugs.

By minor stuff, you mean get smoked by an automatic crit from a max power divine smite

Deuce fucked around with this message at 18:14 on Dec 15, 2020

# ¿ Dec 15, 2020 18:10

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Crazy Ted posted:

The difference being that Grog was basically improvised and played perfectly.

Jester feels like the relative Grog of this campaign: done perfectly by the person who plays their character.

I've actually gotten the impression that Jester is just Laura Bailey with the filter turned off.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2021 22:34

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

redbrouw posted:

Ideas to point the the campaign to BBEG reveal in about 20-30 episodes, don't read any of it unless you're the kind of person who did this for Game of Thrones or something:

1) Aeor explored, found to have strange eye covered monolith in the centre. Lucien, Beau and Caleb are activated but only Lucien is taken over, and through him the Tomb Takers. The lengths they've gone to free Molly makes Lucien worse host than thought, and Beau and Caleb are able to see and exploit that, maybe by some telepathic interface. Molly/Lucien tells them he remembers everything, and to please end this before the villain manifests fully. They do, and end up killing Molly/Lucien. The obelisk grows brightly and fires an energy pulse into the sky which bounces off of Ruidis. The eyes do not disappear from Beau or Caleb.

2) Mourning Molly, the Nein return to Balinpost with Dagan only to find that the Cerberus Assembly has dispatched agents to ascertain the whereabouts of Ves Derogna. The Nein fight one of them and find themselves overmatched as the town is full of guards now, so they panic teleport when Dagan re-realizes they killed Ves. The teleport backfires and they are lost in a blizzard until suddenly, Essek appears! He guides them to a small spit of land in Eiselcross where he has discovered teleportation is unaffected and promises to tell the Dynasty about Aeor.

3) They return to Nicodranas and Ukotoa manifests a straight up copy of Shadow over Innsmouth, and the city is overwhelmed by Dashilla-like creatures. Taking refuge in Tidepeak with the Ruby (Bluud very nearly succumbs to his wounds but is saved, I don't like killing the side characters all the time to provide drama) and Veth's family, the wizards gather and then decide to destroy the cloven crystal in the amber vault which proves very taxing and difficult as the creatures begin to break into the tower. At the moment the orb is shattered, off the coast, through the rain, Fjord can see an enormous indeterminate shape rising over the water, and he is seized by a vision of him as a toddler being ejected from a flying city and crashing into the waters of.. somewhere, but not the Menagerie Coast. The shape shudders, wails in eldritch torment, disappears, and everyone passes out. When they awake, the town is just covered in dead Deep Ones.. and quite a few civilian dead. It's not just Nicodranas, but a majority of the Menagerie Coast that experienced the invasion. The town is also occupied by water elementals - friendly ones. The genie has been keeping a watch on the town from his palace ever since Caduceus made a sanctuary atop the lighthouse, and attempted to intervene as quickly as he could to stop the loss of more life. As a boon, he bestows a jewel on Caduceus and Cad recognizes it as from Molaesmyr. Xundi says: "Much has flowed from that cursed city, and not much as fair as this."

4) At this point, everyone has to be reinvested in the Empire and Xhorhas. Nicodranas, Port Zoon and Port Damali are in tatters. After situating the Ruby and Veth's family back with Pumat in Zadash temporarily, they relocate to the Dynasty at the behest of Essek, and are summoned by the Queen who has taken on a much darker tone. The beacons are not performing as they once did, and a Consecution for a minor noble has FAILED irreversibly. Something is wrong, and, according to Essek (who floats out of a corner to squeals of fandom delight), evidence points to Aeor. Essek pulls them aside later and confides that while he does expect Aeor to be involved, the experimentation on this particular Beacon has possibly altered it, and they need the Ceberus Assembly notes to return it to normal, otherwise the Dynasty may lose control over the lesser nobility and face civil war.

5) The Nein are tasked with re-entering Rexxentrum and gaining access to these. They do so through the use of Caleb and Beau, both who have the interesting story of the eyes and Aeor to tell to the less scrupulous Trent (who didn't particularly care about Ves). Caleb has a heart to heart with his old friends, including a more meaningful talk with Astrid. Meanwhile, absolutely shambles of shenanigans as the Nein are discovered and the city guard is called, putting a timer on their efforts. They get away with it with the help of Astrid and Eodwuld, and manage to teleport back to the Dynasty.

6) Caleb and Beau are beside themselves, they've burned the bridges back into Empire society at this point. Jester Sends a message to Pumat and Yeza comes up with the idea to relocate them somewhere Pumat wouldn't know about for plausible deniability. This ends up being a small village near the lake outside Komordah. Essek comforts the Nein and takes the notes to attempt to work on the Beacon. Caleb is not allowed to watch, which he finds somewhat offensive. A while after decompressing and figuring out what they want to do, they are summoned by the Queen, who informs them that they have once again become heroes of the Empire, and that they can ask for anything they want, which will be granted by a new den leader - Essek Thelyss.

7) Essek has received everything he could possibly want and more - he has unlimited access to the Beacons and, he confides in Caleb alone, he has been made the Eye of the Lens, the spymaster of the Dynasty. He's possibly the third most powerful man in Xhorhas and is kind of weirdly more charismatic and appealing about being the good guy with all the power. Caleb is uneasy, but they probably have some weirdly unbalanced sex, knowing Liam's dark dark soul.

8) Jester is asked by the Traveler to investigate the Feywild, which is connected to a certain portion of his power. They locate someone who can planeshift them, and find a very similar experience to Rumblecusp, where different planes have shattered Artagan's old haunt. They make there way to what seems to be the center of the whole thing.. and there's a portal. It's Artagan's door, made for him by VM, and he manifests in full glory inside the Feywild. In curiosity, he touches the door, freezes and then disappears, maybe dropping a vestige for Jester. This is so Artagan is locked behind the divine gate, and therefore Jester won't be able to get him to fight the BBEG. The door has been corrupted by some force, and Artie informs her through commune that they're just going to have to have a slightly more normal relationship and maybe makes her his pope or something. Jester is distraught but has also grown so much that she realizes she doesn't need the Traveler to be with her physically anymore, she just has to believe he's there.

9) Returning to the Dynasty, they find that Dairon's temporary home outside of the Xhorhaus has been ransacked. The guards outside are with the Aurora Watch - and also some agents of the Lens, Essek's secret police force. The situation seems to be getting a little spicy, so Jester Sends a message to Dairon and explains they need to meet outside of Rexxentrum. Dairon agrees, but only after she has seen to a problem that the librarians have been warning her (behind Beau's back, it turns out) about regarding the research Beau has been asking them for, which is pointing in the direction of Molaesmyr. Caduceus jumps on the chance to see his family and get the bottom of what happened in the Savalirwood. They decide to travel through Novgurot, Shady Creek Run on the way to the Blooming Grove and Molaesmyr. Dairon is somewhat amused by Beau and Yasha being an item and is highly disturbed by Beau and Caleb's tattoo eyes. When Beau informs her it was from reading the tome, she asks to see it, but Caleb attempts to produce it from the amber vault.. and it's not there. Maybe he left it back in the Xhorhaus?

So at this point we have Caduceus, Fjord, Beau, and Caleb all personally involved in figuring out what is going on with the next thing. Veth is pretty tightly wrapped up but concerned about Caleb and will definitely follow. Jester might be having dreams from the column she stood on, similar to Cad's. Yasha's backstory is completely uninteresting, but I'm sure she's just happy to be there.

10) DUNGEON CRAWL! WITH DAIRON! Molaesmyr is found to have been a city dedicated to the Moonweaver, but a cult had taken over and worshipped Ruidis instead. There are clear Betrayer Gods style things going on, but also a hint of the Mageocracies of Aeor and other flying cities causing trouble. As the approach a meteorite, purplish red and smooth, which crashed into Molaesmyr and was believed to be a teardrop from Ruidis, D'weth Var and the red eyes on Beau and Caleb glow and shatter the meteorite. A beam once again shoots out of the stone into the sky, and Ruidis begins to descend to Earth, Majora's Mask style.

Did you just put spoiler tags around ten paragraphs of wild rear end fanfic/speculation

# ¿ Jan 23, 2021 17:12

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ashley what have you done!!!???

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 04:44

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

AngryBooch posted:

Fjord what the gently caress, what the gently caress

He�s right. They�re in fireball formation against a dragon.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 04:49

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Dexo posted:

bad ideas all around

GREAT IDEAS YOU MEAN

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 05:02

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Marisha is in gargoyle mode, poo poo�s real.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 05:03

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

I�m sure Matt has massively upgraded Gelidon�s HP. The default would get stomped by this many adventurers.

:siren:

LUCIEN HAS LEGENDARY ACTIONS :siren:

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 05:16

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

PALADIN NOVA MOTHERFUCKERS

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 05:19

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Nice

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 05:21

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

So is this dragon going to blast people or what

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 05:37

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Deuce posted:

So is this dragon going to blast people or what

HEEEEEEYYY

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 05:41

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

RC Cola posted:

Is there even a point to combat anymore? I feel like the dragon could have 2k HP and I still wouldn't be slightly concerned about a tpk.

7 characters of this strength plus a party of five (?) tomb takers that has to be at least comparable to be a threat...

Nah, there�s probably nothing in the Monster Manual that can take them on solo.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 05:46

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Crazy Ted posted:

WOMP WOMP ASHLEY

She�s left the table, might have actually just died

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 06:04

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Crazy Ted posted:

SWALLOW HER WHOLEREGARD

Wouldn�t be the first time

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 06:09

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Nemo2342 posted:

Ok, why are we still attacking the dragon now that Beau is safe and it is fleeing?

ASHLEY SAYS END THIS

# ¿ Jan 29, 2021 06:26

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Lucien just gained 50 hit points from the pooping talk

# ¿ Feb 12, 2021 05:09

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Wasn�t Kima�s sword a Holy Avenger?

Yasha isn�t a Paladin.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2021 05:57

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

AngryBooch posted:

We don't know, but that sword Yasha got from Kima is a Holy Avenger, but it won't be quite as strong on Yasha I think.

Yeah, Fjord can attune to a Holy Avenger and his strength score doesn�t actually matter as a Hexblade.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2021 06:00

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

So, they had found evidence that something Beacon-like was in Aeor, right?

What do you suppose happens to ten thousand souls sent to a beacon, all at once, that then gets dropped into the astral sea. Ten thousand souls with nowhere to go.

*marisha_charlie_day.jpg*

# ¿ Feb 12, 2021 19:34

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

SAM

WHY

# ¿ Mar 26, 2021 03:03

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Also Caleb possesses both direct knowledge and physical evidence that Trent mindfrays children into murdering their own parents so they can become magic child soldiers. Trent literally gets executed if Caleb brings this to the right people.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2021 03:13

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Cold blooded.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2021 06:46

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Dexo posted:

lmao Fjord killed all of them for nothing.

Including Dagon

# ¿ Apr 9, 2021 06:51

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

redbrouw posted:

That was an extremely cold blooded murder of the fallen.

The other option was having them recover to near full health in a couple hours, because in D&D you can go from death's door to combat ready with a short rest.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2021 16:56

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Yasha is now basically immortal with Persistent Rage combining with Rage Beyond Death.

# ¿ May 6, 2021 20:11

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

captainclaw posted:

Happy rage noises

I love that even years later, Travis still goes nuts every time Ashley says "I would like to rage." That man is his friends' biggest fan.

# ¿ May 19, 2021 15:28

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

Funzo posted:

We usually only stay up for the first hour or so of the game, but if this is finally the big fight against Lucien we might need to watch a little longer tonight.

I think ultimately they�re going to deal with whatever the immediate fallout from the city is going to be and wrap it up. That fallout likely involves Trent though so that may all get wrapped up to. Plus they have to at least go give Allura her staff back.

I don't see Lucien getting weaker as things progress. It's time to make a stand.

o7

# ¿ May 21, 2021 03:13

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 14:02

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

eke out posted:

excited for One Winged Angel Lucien

oh god Lucien is a mega beholder

# ¿ May 21, 2021 03:55

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Critical Role (on Twitch/Youtube, yes) - Jester's mom is the best lay ever

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