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dee eight
Dec 18, 2002

The Spirit
of Maynard



The vote is final. The people have spoken.

This is the best cat:



Congratulations to the former fatlord. You are an inspiration to us all.


Lowtax posted:

I support the photos as well as the incoming piles of financial ill-gotten gains. Thanks cats. Thanks credit cards. Credcat cards.


We all know that every catte is the best catte. But there must be the one single cat that is the best of the best, the pinnacle, the apex, the Spartacus among Spartacus', the absolute gold standard of all catdom. We are here to determine which SA cat best represents that ideal.

...1 catte to rule them all and in the darkness bind them.




Welcome to the 2nd ever SA forums cat show. It will be by necessity a Rules Heavy thread. Please read and comprehend all the rules.

It is also a fundraiser to buy our dear leader Lowtax a backbone or a working exoskeleton or something. I'm too broke to contribute to the spine fund, but I'll make up for it with an effort thread to squeeze money out of you fuckers.

[insert commercial break here]



To find the Very Best Cat on all of SA, the VBC must first be nominated, and then voted into that high office. Voting is a sacred rite, like shooting a car or driving a gun, so let us all be serious about it. It is both a duty and a priveledge and an obligation. That said, this should be fun (for some given value of fun).



Posting Rules:
1. Only nominations may be posted at the start of this thread, and only one post per nomination(s). If you are not nominating a cat, DO NOT POST! That was a dumb rule. Additional pics/videos/photoshops will be encouraged during the campaign phase.

2. DO NOT post ineligible cats. Only officially nominated cat pics allowed.

3. Posting is open to all during the campaign phase. During the campaign, do discuss the merits of the candidates, photoshop what ya like, but keep it semi civil. Try not to poo poo up the place with dumb stuff like OMG YOU HAVE MY CAT YOUR CAT LOOKS LIKE MY CAT.

4. Keep pic quotes to a minimum and remember to timg.




Nomination rules:
Nominations are closed. Too slow, sucka

1. To nominate a cat for VBC, donate to the forums via the Donations! link at the top right of the page. (rule edit: or buy a cert or av change or archives or something.) If you cannot find the link, you are dumber than a bag of hammers.

2. You may nominate multiple cats in one post.$10 for one cat, $15 for two cats, $20 for three, $25 for four, etc.

3. Post a screencap of your receipt with the amount and your user name clearly visible and then post one pic of your nominated cat(s) and name(s) of the cat(s).
3.(a) Placeholders are ok, but if you fail to follow through.

3. Please number your entry for easier voting later. (three cats would get numbers 5-6-7) Edit your numbers to keep it linear in cases of simultaneous posts.

Rule #420: Dog cannot be VBC unless it is Farlow or Dogface.

Rule #420(b): Burgerpug is right the gently caress out of the question so don't even think about it.

Rule #420(c): This is a better cat than most dogs:


4. Nominations are closed




Campaign rules for the Nominees:

0. Campaigning begins only after nominations are closed now.

1. Post the good stuff you have of your cat. Videos, pics, stories, whatever you think makes your cat the VBC. Tag your pics with your entry #.

2. Try not to image dump, spread it out over several posts. Pick the very best you have and save some space for everyone. Links to albums or instragrams or whatever are fine.

3. This is politics at its finest. Get out the vote, kiss some hands and shake some babies.

4. Campaigning continues to the bitter end, even during voting.

5. Voting begins Friday May 4th.




Voting rules:

1. Voting will probably happen in a separate thread which will be for VOTING ONLY.

2. Seriously. No pics, just voting. If this works out half as good as I would like, it will be a nightmare to tabulate the votes with my dollar store calculator.

2.(a) Poll watching and independent vote tabulating would be way cool with me.

3. Voting will be done by the entry number, so pay attention and don't be dyslexic.

4. In each round of voting, each poster gets to vote for X number of cats. The field will be narrowed with each round of voting until 13 nominees remain.

5. The final round to determine the Very Best Cat will be one goon/one vote/one cat.



Prizes:

The Very Best Cat on the SA forums gets the last phat oz of my 2017 personal stash of Montana Catnip

I don't have anything else, but maybe some artistic type here can make some e-trophies and ms paint participation ribbons for the losers.

e: if there's a decent weather day this weekend or next, I can maybe get some fine ground done for extra prizes.


dee eight fucked around with this message at May 31, 2018 around 18:30

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dee eight
Dec 18, 2002

The Spirit
of Maynard



I open the floor to nominations. *bangs gavel on penis*




Arbitrary rule update #1: placeholders for nominations are ok but upon you if you fail to follow through.

Candidates list:

1. Anastasia - 1st_Panzer_Div.

3. Haley - Zoe
4. La Tigra aka "Tazzy" - redm
5. Penelope - Who What Now
6. Maxwell - Kerosene19
7. Koda - Over There
8. Willow - Section 9
9. Yori - Section 9
10. Mia - Section 9
11. Miko - curlingiron
12. Goomba - Grumbletron 4000
13. Gumbo - Grumbletron 4000
14. Jappy - Grumbletron 4000
15. Silly - Grumbletron 4000
16. Kiska - Tendai
17. Butterscotch - Chili
18. Regan - Mr Speaker
19. Wiz - Mr Speaker
20. Kotofey Ivanovich - Sweet As Sin
21. Burzum - nerdz
22. Margot - FutonForensic
23. Lulu - GATOS Y VATOS
24. Franklin the squid humping cat - Trig Discipline
25. Simon - Mustached Demon
26. Gordie Meow - small bird pudding
27. Sakamoto - Shinmera
28. Phyrexian Obliterator - BaronVonVaderham
29. Emperor Tang - curlingiron
30. Professor Wicket - its all nice on rice
31. Snowball - twit666
32. Mola - Flying Leatherman
33. Madeye Murphy MacCool - Mistle
34. Mittens - Bedevere
35. Autumn - McGavin
36: Kon Tiki - IMJack
37: Essex - IMJack
38: Saffron - Captain Tightpants
39. Lola - im_sorry
40. Patrick - im_sorry
41. Gypsy - CloFan
42. Harley - CloFan
43. Moo Moo - Dumb Lowtax
44. Speedball - Fumblemouse
45. Spartacus - Pick
46. Peanut - Sham bam bamina!
47. Sadie - Shifty Pony
48. Winston - Shifty Pony
49. Georgia (on my mind) - Sham bam bamina!
50. Furball - MC Hawking
51. Lowtax (a cool cat, but I kinda doubt he'll get off on catnip) - Section 9 (and I don't really think Lowtax is your cat)
52. Heman - Cable Guy
53. Rollo - ReelBigLizard
54. Penny - ReelBigLizard
55. Shadow - Annath
56. Chester - Thin Privilege
57. Nala - Sic Semper Goon
58. Se - Libluini
59. Osiris - coca bojangles
60.Rusty - pinchofginger
61. The Machine - pinchofginger
62. Bubbles - esperterra
63. Suka - Solitair
64. Mini - cptn_dr
65. Starbuck - calandryll
66. Harlequin - calandryll
67. Chloe - bump_fn
68. Charlie The Cat - SickZip
69. cat - Jon Joe

DAILY TOTE BOARD:

about $735 more or less/give or take + the 45 or so bux the nice persons spent on ads. And at least 15 more bux from av changes on Piggy Smalls. Whoever is doing that, great work!

StupidSexyVaultGuy posted:

If we can fuel the jury-rigged dreams of some slack-jawed yokel from Reform, Alabama then surely this gay forum can remain reanimated at worst.

Bless this mess.

gently caress Yeah! We've raised almost enough to pay for Lowtax's souvenir engraved bedpan! gently caress this stupid country's hosed up health care system!
Let me know if you even bother to read the updates!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk7yqlTMvp8

Open campaign is heating up (like ur mom) and I'll accept late nominations until the first round of voting which will start Friday night 5/4.



dee eight fucked around with this message at May 26, 2018 around 17:40

1st_Panzer_Div.
May 11, 2005

Phoenixes we can believe in

Grimey Drawer



Anastasia!

1st_Panzer_Div. fucked around with this message at Mar 25, 2018 around 17:54

Hoobastank4ever97
Dec 31, 2000

MIYAMOTO-SAN... YOU HAVE MY AXE


redm
Feb 20, 2016

M


Sugartime Jones

can we nominate with a different SA purchase that isn't donation like an av change or plat cert because I'm not ready to give up my current donator tag

edit:

#4??? La Tigra aka "Tazzy"



https://i.imgur.com/3lTqXiW.png

redm fucked around with this message at Mar 10, 2018 around 09:37

Zoe
Jan 19, 2007

ANIME PEDOPHILE SNUFF FETISHIST

Hair Elf

#3 Halley





dee eight
Dec 18, 2002

The Spirit
of Maynard



redm posted:

can we nominate with a different SA purchase that isn't donation like an av change or plat cert because I'm not ready to give up my current donator tag

I'll accept that. Also, it appears that donation receipts display real names and not user names. I'll be a trusting soul and accept nominations on a word of honor that yeah I really did donate basis as long as I see the grimey drawer or whatever popsicle stick. This thread is about to turn into a bigger clusterfuck than I ever imagined it could be.

dee eight fucked around with this message at Mar 10, 2018 around 17:56

Mordja
Apr 26, 2014



Hell Gem

You should probably get this pinned...

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

Upload the shitposts directly into my brain!

#5

Penelope is in touch with the ground


She's on the hunt down


She's after you


Edit:

Here's my proof of payment. I assure you that that email is mine

Who What Now fucked around with this message at Mar 26, 2018 around 13:58

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

i went to china and had the best cat ever there

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

dee eight
Dec 18, 2002

The Spirit
of Maynard



Hector Beerlioz posted:

i went to china and had the best cat ever there

That's loving hilarious. THat's really the funniest thing I ever read on these forums. Holy poo poo you should do stand up.

\/\/\/ gently caress off

dee eight fucked around with this message at Mar 10, 2018 around 18:26

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Maybe you could buy some brown paper bags and then wear the bags on your head and hide your face and then people will ask 'why are you wearing that bag on your head, bag-head?!' and you will have to tell them it's because you have an ugly face!! What THEN buddy!!

Ramrod XTreme

Jesus Christ.
Cats suck dick from nose to tail.
They spread brain memobybytes

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007



Buglord

Sucking dick is great but I'm glad cats don't do it.

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!

look a cat

Only registered members can see post attachments!

I blame Disney
Sep 30, 2016

They know what they did


I nominate all the cats from Roar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl9wL0HLm_E#t=560s

If your cat isn't large enough to kill you you're nothing but a drat coward

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



the use of the word "catte" paints you as mentally fragile, OP, but i wish you well in your quest to funnel money to the forums

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010



Hector Beerlioz posted:

i went to china and had the best cat ever there

Edgy stuff

LordArgh
Mar 17, 2009



Nap Ghost

i ate a cat while visiting the country of china

LordArgh
Mar 17, 2009



Nap Ghost

LordArgh posted:

i ate a cat while visiting the country of china

to clarify, it didn't have anything to do with chinese cuisine. i captured it in an alley

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQTTyjq_cn0

Blue Train fucked around with this message at Mar 10, 2018 around 21:50

Kerosene19
May 7, 2007



Dinosaur Gum

I hereby nominate my little buddy Maxwell.




#6

Kerosene19 fucked around with this message at Mar 12, 2018 around 02:16

Lowtax
Nov 16, 1999


I support the photos as well as the incoming piles of financial ill-gotten gains. Thanks cats. Thanks credit cards. Credcat cards.

Over There
Jun 28, 2013



Koda! 7



Over There fucked around with this message at Mar 20, 2018 around 15:29

GET MY BELT SON
Sep 26, 2007



this is felix right before he passed away



best god drat cat i ever knew


ooh one more i just found



a good solid grade a premium cat

gently caress i miss this dude

GET MY BELT SON fucked around with this message at Mar 11, 2018 around 02:16

extra row of teeth
Apr 27, 2007

Float like a butterfly, sting like a Beerus



Americal Curl

Section 9
Mar 24, 2003



Hair Elf


Three cats! Willow (8) is the chocolate in the foreground, Yori (9) is the torti in the middle and Mia (10) is the black fluffmonster in the back.



(Edit: I was pretty confidant in my girls winning, but seeing some of these other entrants, I'm not so sure. So many good cattes.)

Section 9 fucked around with this message at Mar 12, 2018 around 00:04

curlingiron
Dec 15, 2006

Adventure Awaits!


Fun Shoe

11

This is Miko, sometimes known as Princess Pizzaface:



She does not approve of your life choices.



She is also a fancy lady, thanks to forums goon and incredible artist Sharpest Crayon.



I have paid my dues:

Grumbletron 4000
Nov 30, 2002

Where you want it, bitch.

College Slice

I figure that I got my money's worth over the years. I can throw in a few bucks to help have Lowtax's herpetic anal lesions scraped off or whatever it is that is hilariously wrong with his gross butt hole...



I have 3 cats but I'm nominating my poor dead Goomba too cause she was my best cat...



Also nominating Gumbo and Jappy. (Jappy is the skinny one).



And finally, Silly.



Edit...

Goomba, 12
Gumbo, 13
Jappy, 14
Silly, 15

Grumbletron 4000 fucked around with this message at Mar 11, 2018 around 09:55

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

A Little Known FACT: Burger King's Bacon King is superior to the Baconator.



So many questions from this photo, but I don't think I want the answers.

Tendai
Mar 16, 2007

"When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."



Grimey Drawer

This is Kiska (#16). She hates screen doors.



I have prettier pictures of her but that one, I feel, best defines her.

Unfinish3d
Nov 2, 2007

Oh fuck, I think I just smelled my own posts.


Grimey Drawer

GET MY BELT SON posted:

this is felix right before he passed away



best god drat cat i ever knew


ooh one more i just found



a good solid grade a premium cat

gently caress i miss this dude

He looks a lot like my favorite cat, Midas, so I'm instantly enamored with him. Except he has bigger ears. Midas is the most affectionate and well behaved cat I've personally encountered, and I will be devastated when he passes. Luckily he's only about 3 years old right now. I hope he lives to be a healthy 20 year old cat

Chili
Jan 23, 2004

College kids ain't shit


Fun Shoe

Butterscotch joins the fray! And hey, number 17 works as that's pretty close to his current weight!


A picture from the... not-so-salad-days of scootchness.

Plenty of "After" pictures to follow!

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012


absolute unit

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015


Chili posted:

Butterscotch joins the fray! And hey, number 17 works as that's pretty close to his current weight!


A picture from the... not-so-salad-days of scootchness.

Plenty of "After" pictures to follow!



Isnt that sorta bad to over feed your cat that much?

Cable Guy
Jul 18, 2005

I don't expect any trouble, but we'll be handing these out later...

Grimey Drawer

When you say you're still not sure of deadlines, are you at least considering a fortnight time-frame? Have a definite candidate in mind, but he's not my cat... I need to negotiate permissions... and wait for my splurge budget to top-up.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012


Piggy Smalls posted:

Isn’t that sorta bad to over feed your cat that much?

Man I just had an obese outside cat die today at 5.5 years old while her sister is fine and the other couple of cats that are older than her are fine so going with yes . She would hoover up the other cats scraps and sleep all day before anyone asks why she was obese yet outside

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015


Blue Train posted:

Man I just had an obese outside cat die today at 5.5 years old while her sister is fine and the other couple of cats that are older than her are fine so going with yes . She would hoover up the other cats scraps and sleep all day before anyone asks why she was obese yet outside

Well over feeding any pet is not very nice to the pet. A lot of health issues when you or your pet are obese.

Kak
Sep 27, 2002



My cat is 14 years old and weighs 22 lbs.

dee eight
Dec 18, 2002

The Spirit
of Maynard



Cable Guy posted:

When you say you're still not sure of deadlines, are you at least considering a fortnight time-frame? Have a definite candidate in mind, but he's not my cat... I need to negotiate permissions... and wait for my splurge budget to top-up.

Yeah a couple weeks sounds okay to me, maybe more if the thread doesn't implode from shitposts first. The whole point of this is to throw money at Lowtax's skeleton and get good cat pictures. If it takes time, then it takes time.

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Mister Speaker
May 8, 2007

Asks Stupid Questions


Fallen Rib

EDIT: I donated $15 to nominate my two cats but don't see my username anywhere in the email receipts to post...

Alright, I'm throwing my hatscats into the ring.

And what sweet cats they are. Here is my girl Regan, AKA Princess Chunkstyle.




And this big lummox is my boy Wiz AKA Weezy AKA Special Agent Dale Cooper.


Mister Speaker fucked around with this message at Mar 12, 2018 around 01:28

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