Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«5 »
  • Locked thread
WereGoat
Apr 28, 2017





There was once a shoemaker, who worked very hard and was very honest.

But still, he could not earn enough to live upon, and at last all he had in the world was gone, save just enough leather to make one pair of shoes. Then he cut his leather out, all ready to make up the next day, meaning to rise early in the morning to his work.



Thankfully, he has an attractive, intelligent, powerful sorcerer for a brother. Yeah thatís me, Gottfried. My brother Rodrick has seen me through hard times, supported my studies at wizard school, and now, heís asked for my help.

Yeah, I could just give him the money he needs to pay off his rent, but Iím not a bank, Iím a sorcerer. I can cast spells, bend reality to my will! Iím a sorcerer! Did I mention? Well itís true. Ok, maybe Iím technically a journeyman of sorcery but itís practically the same thing. Ok Iím almost a journeyman, but itís just a paperwork delay.



Anyway, yeah, fixing his problem. Well, in the old days, it would be a matter of putting some elves on the problem, but for some reason the elf population has really plummeted. I need something like an elf. A little worker thing who could work for him, make shoes and junk.



Aha! Perfect! IMPS! They are bound to follow your requests, do exactly what you tell them to, right? They can only appear at night, which is perfect, a lovely surprise for Rodrick when he wakes up.

Beware sorcerer, imps are creatures of hellish law, and are bound to follow your word precisely. Be careful in your phrasing, lest they twist your words and cause mischief. Please consult the below list of precise wordings to ensureÖ

Perfect, they do precisely what you want!
Now, to arrange the candlesÖ
And draw the sigilsÖ
A drop of bloodÖ



Pow!



An imp, but I need more!

Pow! Pow! Pow!

OK imps, My brotherís rent is due by the end of the week, make sure he doesnít have any problems paying it.
That should be precise enough, right? Now off you go.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

WereGoat
Apr 28, 2017



Welcome imps!

You have been summoned by the foolish sorcerer Gottfried, bound to the task;

My brotherís rent is due by the end of the week, make sure he doesnít have any problems paying it.

Rent is due next week! Each night until rent is due, you are free to do what you will as long as your binding terms are upheld. A clever sorcerer makes these bindings clear and precise, but you are lucky enough to be bound with a pretty vague task.


First things first, name your imp!

Next, pick a distinguishing feature! This can be any visual thing that distinguishes your imp from the other impish rabble.

Lastly, pick your impís domain. Each imp has a unique domain in which its abilities manifest. There are no generic imps, (correction, there is precisely one Generic imp.) Pick one word to represent your impís power. You canít have the same as anyone else.


For example, Suzy the Moon imp might have lots of teeth, while Greg the Shoe imp might have a fancy hat.


Once you post your impís details, Iíll add your imp picture to this post.


---


Each night, you will be left to your own devices. You can do as you please as long as you work directly or indirectly towards your summoned task - My brotherís rent is due by the end of the week, make sure he doesnít have any problems paying it.

When you perform an action, roll a d10. If it is in line with your chosen domain, add 3 upgrade- add 5! If it is not, subtract 3. Then, when the morning sun rises, you are banished for the day, and Rodrick comes down the stairs from his house into his workshop to be faced with what you have done in the night.

As a rough guide, rolls of 5 or less will negatively affect current tasks. Rolls of 6 or greater will positively affect them. Rolls of -2 and 13 trigger special effects the following night!

Currently active:

Current night
1/7
After the 7th night, rent is due, and the game ends.

Cash 0/20.
Rodrick needs 20 silver to pay his rent by the end of the week. He will also spend it to get shoemaking materials (unless they can be obtained some other way).

Shoes 0
Shoes will be sold during the day for cash.

Materials 1/1 (prepared/total).
You need 1 set of materials per shoe, but materials need to be prepared before shoes are manufactured. If there are no materials, Rodrick will go out and buy more. If there are materials, he will prepare them during the day instead of selling shoes. If there are prepared materials, he will make shoes instead of preparing materials or selling.

To add another task, just start working towards it, and it will be added to the list next morning. Some tasks may add additional requirements if they are extra complex or risky. A description of the task will appear the first time it is added to the list.

Some tasks are capped at 0/20, while others can go above/below these numbers. For example, building a shoemaking machine would complete at 20, but could drop below 0, actively impeding progress. On the other hand, you cannot have a negative quantity of shoes without weird magic, but making more than 20 is definitely possible.


Example: Greg the shoe imp wants to build a new house/shoe shop for the shoemaker. This has nothing to do with shoes, and so he rolls d10-3. build a new house: 1d10-3 5 Meanwhile, Suzy the moon imp sets a werewolf on the landlord. This is moon related, so she rolls d10+3. Set a werewolf on the landlord: 1d10+3 7. The next morning, three tasks appear on the progress bar. The next night, imps can continue to work towards completing these tasks, or they can start new ones.
Build new house. ?/35
Murder landlord ?/10
Cover up involvement in murder 0/20


Other Notes:
No pressure to post, drop in and out. Planning on updating twice a week Tuesday and Friday.
Rolls done in orokos.
Remember, you can click on the bbcode link in orokos beneath your roll, you get a copy/pasteable link you can paste in the forums.
Campaign name Shoemaker will be used in orokos.
Hop over to the CYOA Discord if you have any questions.
Edit: most of the chat ended up over in DogKisser's Discord channel, which is probably the better place to go for updates, chat, etc.

Current Imp list!


Will draw more imps with the new distinguishing features and add them here as needed, or check out the GIMP template here

WereGoat fucked around with this message at Apr 22, 2018 around 19:44

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Cheese the Thieving imp has big, grabby hands for looting.

Pay for rent eh? Can do! The summoner and his brother were bound to have some family heirlooms around that could be stolen and then pawned to pay for their rent!

Steal Gottfried's family heirlooms and pawn them for cash: 1d10+3 4

A nat 1! A worthy start for the thread!

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007



Yam Slacker

Erator the Mesmerist Imp has a Gold Pocket Watch on a Chain for hypnotising the weak-minded.


Oh hey, humans! Perfect, don't get much more weak-minded than those!

Hypnotise potential customers into placing and paying for advance orders for shoes: 1d10+3 10

AJ_Impy fucked around with this message at Mar 11, 2018 around 14:04

Jvie
Aug 10, 2012




Bloodkaiser the World-Ender, possessing an Aura of Death

The old world had been no match for Bloodkaiser. No one could have stopped his campaign of carnage and destruction. of burning some anthills

Rodrick's profits will suffer if people are getting their shoes from any other cobbler. They must be voidbliterated.

Annihilate competitors: 1d10+3 10

Jvie fucked around with this message at Mar 11, 2018 around 00:23

paper bag with a face
Jun 2, 2007
Fighting poverty...one bum at a time.

Ted the Accountancy imp has a sensible vest.



Ted took one look at the shoemaker's shop and could tell why the man wasn't able to make rent: poor management. The place had the same look the dread offices of Pandemonium had before the great Bal'gruz the Auditor, Balancer of the Book of the Damned came in and cleaned things up. After a few minutes of searching, Ted found the shop's books buried under some weeks old newspapers.

Balance Rodrick's messy books: 1d10+3 4

Ted groaned in frustration, what a mess! The imp spent the rest of the night searching for each and every one of Rodrick's old receipts and bills of sale.

paper bag with a face fucked around with this message at Mar 13, 2018 around 05:20

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer

Woah woah woah! whats this? Did Flux the Four-Dimensional Imp of Time hear someone set a deadline?! In my plane?!

Push the deadline back one day!: 1d10+3 8

I think so buddy! I really think so! Well done. I'm going to have been keeping my eye on you.

Bee Bonk
Feb 19, 2011


INCREASE PRODUCTIVITY! Molly, imp of Stimulants, with big ol' bloodshot eyes, starts by increasing the caffeine content in the Shoemaker's coffee grounds by 632%. Then, for good measure, injects some friendly infernal amphetamines into his bacon, eggs, toothpaste, and tearducts. MAKE SHOES, SHOEMAN.

Amphetimines in All The Things.: 1d10+3 4

NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG.

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

No need to sign, we'll take care of that.


Lipstick Apathy



Brug the Forgery imp adjusted its harlequin mask while pondering what to do. Hey, what if the rent was lower?

Falsify the shoemaker's past receipts: 1d10+3 8

There, now it'll look like Rodrick pays less, at least on his end.

super sweet best pal fucked around with this message at Mar 11, 2018 around 17:57

sheep-dodger
Feb 21, 2013



Midas the Transmutation Imp set his golden hands to work, turning all the useless metal in the shop into nice gold.

Transmute metals into gold: 1d10+3 9

Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010





Dalton the imp of Rubbish pushed its way out of the ever present dust cloud surrounding it and sized up the workshop. The meager supplies the cobbler had just wouldn't do in the long run.

Ranging out into city Dalton finds its way into the discard piles of the various industries of the surrounding locale. There's a veritable bounty of leather and other materials hidden away in the trash, and some of what Dalton brings back is even viable to be turned into shoes!

Gathering discarded materials from larger businesses leavings: 1d10+3= 8

Successful Businessmanga fucked around with this message at Mar 11, 2018 around 14:10

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

Why, yes,
I will poke your Gushing Spring Point!


Pillbug

Torb the Sorcery Imp cackled with glee as it was summoned, and its horns arced with lightning. Ooooh, mages were so fun to play with! They were so reckless and daring and stupid. It would take a practiced hand to help this novice summon imps that were more powerful in their work. He got to work, rewriting some of the runes and making the mana more efficient. Gottfried would be so happy that Torb was summoned. Oh yes!

I mean, it didn't really help out the shoemaker directly, but it was more fun and just helpful enough it counted!

Improve the imp summons!: 1d10+3 5

Slaan fucked around with this message at Mar 11, 2018 around 14:11

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb





Prole the Organizing Imp adjusts his white ushanka, and begins to ask around the Shoemaker's neighbors, seeing how high their rent is relative to the market as a whole.

Organize a tenant's union= 1d10+3=7

ThatBasqueGuy fucked around with this message at Mar 13, 2018 around 03:03

Prince of Space
Apr 17, 2016

Went Full Retard, killed 14 dudes. Pride of the 69th Awful Company. R.I.P.

Dinosaur Gum



Winky the Cleaning Imp is shiny and well-polished, with a speck of dust eternally stuck in his eye. Winky was gallivanting through the nether-realm on his way to work when he was plucked through a fiendish sorcerer's summoning portal!

Dirty, dirty, this human hovel he'd been brought to was so dirty! Everything in the little shoemaker's storefront was covered in a thick layer of dust and grime - no wonder no one was coming in to buy any shoes! All it needed was a good cleaning before the night was through, and then business would pick up! Got to make everything spic and span for the master human customers!

Tidy Up the Storefront: 1d10+3 4

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


Hat the oddly-coloured milliner imp popped into existence and despaired. A cobbler? No wonder he wasn't making any money, he was approaching matters from entirely the wrong angle! Not to worry, Hat will help him by making something the village truly needs. Hats!

Making hats!: 1d10+3 11

The Lord of Hats
Aug 22, 2010



Stallone the Rodeo Imp materialized, his spurred boots jingle-jangle-jingling as he walked. He could tell with a glance that they didn't have nearly enough materials for... whatever it was that they were supposed to be doing. He hadn't really paid attention.

Not that he needed an excuse to do his thing. He left through the front door, and when he returned, it was with a handful of roped-up cattle. Leather doesn't get any fresher than "still on the cow"!

Rustle some cattle: 1d10+3 11

Captainicus
Feb 22, 2013


With a puff of smoke, Slick the Shady Deals imp materializes, notable for his many scars. His task is helping the cobbler get some rent, eh? He knows a way around a problem like this! He begins drawing up a questionable contract and negotiating some insurance on the workshop...

Set up an Insurance Scam: 1d10+3 13

Barbed Tongues
Mar 16, 2012





Sparx, the Mischievous imp, has a sweet purple Mohawk.

Ooooh. Lots of mischief to choose from. Cheese looks like my kind of guy.

Steal Family Heirlooms (Help Cheese): 1d10+3 10

Barbed Tongues fucked around with this message at Mar 13, 2018 around 01:47

Carecalmo
May 14, 2013


Omp, the Curious Imp with many extra eyes falls into existence with a quiet splat.


It goes out into town, looking for a route to the landlord's house. After all, Rodrick can't pay his rent if he can't get to his landlord!

Looking for a route to the landlord's house: 1d10+3 5

Carecalmo fucked around with this message at Mar 12, 2018 around 12:13

TheGreatEvilKing
Mar 28, 2016



Pyros, an imp with mastery over Illusion, tips his Golden Crown to the sorcerer and immediately begins his work creating counterfeit coins to dupe the landlord.

Making fake money. Roderick may be honest but the imps are not!: 1d10+3 9

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.



Skippo, an imp with mastery over Helpfulness, can't quite keep the Nervous Look off her face. She didn't know anything about shoes, but she was drat certain that Winky the Cleaner needed Help! She mimed pulling up her sleeves and wandered over to help him.

"See? Two hands make light work!": 1d10+3 9 Things looked a little cleaner, at least!

WereGoat
Apr 28, 2017




Night 1/7

Gottfried looks at the 19 imps he summoned and bound. "uuuh, that's an awful lot of imps, how much hand-blood did I lose?

Gottfried's mana drops from 10/20 to -9/20
Manaburn!
Gottfried takes 9 hp dmg!
Gottfried's temporary hp is lost! 4 spillover damage!




I need to sit down. Uuugh. What're you all looking at? Get on with it before I banish you back to hell. Shoo! My every movement is powered by arcane might!" Gottfried vomits into a bucket. "Did I do the bloodletting wrong or something? Let me check my notes..." Pawing at his grimoire, getting the cover all bloody, Gottfried tries to finish the chapter on summoning rituals before passing out on top of it.

Perfect! Two imps leap immediately into action. Cheese bounds forward with his grabbing hands, stealing the very valuable bucket of vomit from underneath the sorcerors nose! Sparx gives him a high five as he nabs Gottfried's cutlery and plates, seem to be copper or something? Whatever, they can sell this lot easy!



The rest of the imps moved on to the workshop, drawn to it's location by their magic bindings. A few stop outside, one imp looking about for the landlord's home. Where is it? After gazing up and down the street for many hours, Omp determines that the landlord wasn't here, valuable intel. Meanwhile, Prole and Erator team up to take on the locals. Prole approaches the night owls, up late drinking or on their way back home, and whispers to them them "have you considered the benefits of tenancy unions, comrade". This goes down very well, and half the group go to bed dreaming of uniting together against the oppressive landlords.

The ones that were less interested were the selfish ones. The well off ones, who were too good for that union rabble. Well, how best to prove their wealth than a nice new pair of shiny shoes. "I just bought shoes though... Shoes. Shoes. Yes, that sounds lovely actually! Take these, I don't need them anymore! Order more in the morning! Shoes!" You are certain there will be advanced orders, and hey, you got a pair of shoes out of it!


With the imps assembles, Torb and Flux took the opportunity to boost them with arcane powers. Twisting time started off OK, the groundword for the time-cube was well underway, runes scratched into the floor and walls.

Then it's just a little hell-juice from Torb, no worries. But this isn't quite in line with it's binding terms, and the energy seeps out of the imps. Draining! If it wasn't for Bloodkaiser leaking deathly energies that could have went quite badly! Speaking of which- across town- Conrad the shoemaker comes down with a strange illness, like he has been touched by death itself... Excellent news!



Into the workshop! A fold in space and '*pop*'. A cow appears in the workshop ridden by Stallone. This sets the other imps giggling as they get to work. Pyros uses the tools for nefarious purposes, creating some perfectly forged coins only for Midas to sneak up behind him and transmutate the tools to gold! Sneaky!

This makes Hat's work for the horde imps harder, as she cuts and sews some hats. The shop would draw in more people if it diversified! She sets one imp sized hat on top of Slick, who looks like he is up to no good... In face, he is up to a lot of good, paperwork, checks, details... *foof* he teleports into an insurance broker, near a filing cabinet. A guard turns with a start, but with a tip of his official looking hat he is ignored, and can slip his forged paperwork where it needs to go.

He wasn't alone in looking at papers, Brug meticulously went through the sales information to find ways to show the rent had already been partially paid off. There seemed to be more than he expected... Ah right, Ted was making sure the workshop conformed to ISO-666 standards and filling everything out in decuplet. Good imp!

In popped Dalton with a pile of junk. There was... Actually a good amount of usable leather here! Winky was not pleased, dumping all this rubbinsh on their nice clean workshop! Trash it! Thankfully, Skippo was there to grab the actually useful pieces out before they were incinerated in hellfire.



Morning was almost upon them. The imps felt themselves fading... Molly finished stuffing amphetamines in the bottle she was holding just as she winked out of existence.

---

Rodrick awoke as the first lick of sunshine shone into his bedroom. He turned to- no leave her to sleep a little longer- he got out of bed and heard a strange noise. Mooing?

He walked through to his daughter's room "Lotti?" Waking up. "Stay here".

He crept down the narrow stairway as quietly as he could, before being confronted with-

"Mooooooo" the cow took up the majority of the workspace. He inched past it, confused, only to find a stack of coins neatly on his workbench. His material bins were full of leather, and his shelf had a completed pair of shoes sitting, waiting to be sold.

Tears filled his eyes, as he smiled in wonder and confusion.

*slam*

A shoeless man stood before him. "Shoes! New shoes!" The man slams down a pile of coins. "Preorder shoes! You know my feet! Make them!"

"Stop yelling Hans, didn't I make you shoes last week? What-"

"I think I would remember that." Hans pivots and leaves. Rodrick shakes his head confused, and sits at his workbench. He was sure that...

Rodrick freezes, and picks up his awl. Solid gold.

"Hey bro" Gottfried leans in from the doorway. "Nice cow"

"You-did you, was it"

"I just wanted to let you know that I got your message and this guy" *points to self with thumbs* "has got it covered. That's right, sorcerer supreme has saved your stupid
shoe shop. You owe me big though, bro, bigtime." He lurches away, looking a little unsteady on his feet.

Rodrick states into the middle distance for a while. He picks up a mug of water unthinking and downs it. His eyes grow wide.

shoemaker makes shoes- failure- no tools!
Shoemaker takes cow to leatherworks- material obtained!
Shoemaker buys tools - 5silver spent!
Shoemaker trembles slightly!
Shoemaker is euphoric!


Angelic interference - None! 0 Halos awarded.
13, unlucky for some- Triggered! - 1 imp gets lucky!
Slick can choose to EITHER get an additional distinguishing feature, OR take two actions in the second night.


Currently active:

Current night 2/7

Cash 8/20.
Hats 5
Hats for sale!
Shoes 1? Where did these come from?
Materials 1/9 (prepared/total).

Hellmarked Gold 5
Cash is in silver pieces, but you have conjured up some GOLD. This is more wealth than the shoemaker has ever seen, and is more than enough to pay his rent many times over. However, it is VERY SUSPICIOUS. If the shoemaker weren't honest, he could findsome way to fence it- as it is it will remain in the workshop unused for now.

Push back deadline 3/20
What a difference a day makes.

Locate landlord -1 0/5
Where is the landlord anyway? Allows you to mess with the landlord in future.

Set up insurance scam 12/20
Well, all the paperwork seems in order. You have taken out insurance on the workshop, checked the beneficiary is Rodrick, filed it away where it needs to be. But the landlord still has his own policy, and is the known owner of the shop. You just need to tie up a few loose ends...

Improvements
Improve something! All improvements can also go into negatives.

Cashflow 5/20
Adds a passive cash increase per day.

Productivity -2/20
Makes the workkshop better, more shoes, easier material prep, that kind of thing.

Shopfront 4/20
Draw in more customers. Can result in more cash... if you have anything to sell.

Rent 5/20
What if the rent was cheaper?

Imps! 0/20
Imp-provements!

Shoemaker Dropbox
Shoemaker results spreadsheet

WereGoat fucked around with this message at Mar 15, 2018 around 21:17

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

No need to sign, we'll take care of that.


Lipstick Apathy



Brug popped back into the world ready to edit the rest of the receipts but stopped to look at Slick's fake insurance papers. Wait a minute... yes! Any "extra money" Rodrick paid in the past could be explained as him paying into the landlord's insurance premium in order to compensate for any goods, tools or time lost should something happen to the building. Brug got to work faking a note from the landlord.

quote:

To Rodrick,

As part of your lease agreement I would like to make sure your business is covered under the building's insurance. Wouldn't want to lose an honest, hard working tenant like yourself. Ho ho!

Just send an extra <(20-<whatever we drop the new rent payment down to>) * however many times Rodrick's paid rent until now> and I'll gladly add you as a benificiary on my insurance, just send a little bit extra every month until it's paid off. Don't worry if something happens to your shop before then, we'll still be cool."

There, now all Brug needed to do was find the landlord and make sure everything looked like it was on the up and up. The magic on the note would adapt the numbers to whatever the new rent ended up being.

Fake a note: 1d10+3 13

Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010





Dalton stands quietly, hand resting on chin as it considers the work to be done. Its fellow imps seemed to be on to something, why should the cobbler have to toil away when he could just have money!

Venturing out of its wheel house, Dalton heads to the largest most profitable looking buildings in the city and starts smashing windows. Dalton was a firm believer in one man's trash being another's treasure, but sometimes one man's treasure could be another man's treasure too!

Robbing other businesses so our friend cobbler can pay his rent. 1d10-3=6

Successful Businessmanga fucked around with this message at Mar 13, 2018 around 20:03

Barbed Tongues
Mar 16, 2012





Hey whatcha doin? Hm, sounds boring. What about you? Urgh. How helpful. Good luck. You peeeps up to anything cool? What?? Burglerizing the neighbors? Count me in!

Rob Businesses w/ Dalton: 1d10+3 6

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...



"Wait what's this? A ROBBING PARTY!? Hell yeahhhh I'm inviting myself!"

Thieving from businesses w/ Dalton & Sparx: 1d10+3 8

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"




Strange. Hat was sure she'd made quite a few hats last night. No sign of them now, and no mention in the Shoemaker's sales journal. Had they sold? EDIT: Wait, there they were, on the top shelf. It made a certain kind of sense, keeping them on display but on a mildly discreet shelf lets the regulars know what's up without distracting new customers from the shop's chief purpose.

Still, this left the matter of the Shoemaker himself. Perhaps she was barking up the wrong tree; if his skillcore was in Cobbling, then there was no point in fighting it. She could at least tidy up and prepare the workspace, using her hat-making skills and knowledge to arrange the tools in what she thought would be a more effective order.

Preparing the workspace: 1d10+3 11

Cloud Potato fucked around with this message at Mar 13, 2018 around 22:35

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

Why, yes,
I will poke your Gushing Spring Point!


Pillbug



Hmmmm, this novice "sorceror" was obviously not very good at his job summoning Imps if he was collapsing after just 17 of them. Well, this imp can fix that!

Torb grabbed the knife that the apprentice had used the night before to summon imps and started cutting Gottfried's other hand. If he was too weak to cut himself, Torb would be nice and helpful by doing it for him!

Help With the Blood Sacrifice: 1d10+3 10

paper bag with a face
Jun 2, 2007
Fighting poverty...one bum at a time.



The books were balanced for now and the shop was ISO-666 compliant. Now was the matter of Ted's favorite subject: tax returns! He sat down with a copy of human tax code and began filling out paperwork. From the bookkeeping Ted did the other night the imp had found that the kindly cobbler gave out quite a few pairs of shoes and other assorted services for free! Jackpot! Tax writeoffs for charity!

Prepare for Tax Season: 1d10+3 10

Wow! Human tax code was MUCH easier than Hell's byzantine system!

Jvie
Aug 10, 2012





Bloodkaiser teleported behind Gottfried's back. He didn't notice. 'Pshhhh......... weak. If u can't handle hell so it will be. But then someone else'll pay the price..................." The imp brought the sorceror's pet the rat that lived beneath the floorboards to the summoning circle. He drew his sword, the Wytch'edge Darkflame Zanpakutou which had fifteen blades and fire burning aat absolute zero and gems made of souls and fire and earth and wind and water and the fifth element only he could use that's why it could kill demons and angels and gods. It could only be wielded by those with both the powers of heaven and hell but Bloodkaiser was half seraphhim and also half Astral Guardian (that's why his second name is Voidray Chosenone)..

Bloodkaiser stared down the rat. "you're world........................ is finisshed" The very moment Bloodkaiser struck the rat with his blade it broke in half again, good thing Torb was there with an actual knife.

Sacrifice critters to help blood sacrifice: 1d10+3 9

Prince of Space
Apr 17, 2016

Went Full Retard, killed 14 dudes. Pride of the 69th Awful Company. R.I.P.

Dinosaur Gum



When Winky the Cleaning Imp returned to the shoemaker's shop the following night, he tried a questing sip of something foul and dark that had been left in of the mug of the shoemaker, and now all he wanted to do was polish!

Get some polishing rags over here and let's put an infernal spit-shine on that leather! What leather? Why, ALL the leather! Shoe leather, belt leather, furniture leather, cow leather, it didn't make a difference - if it was made out of leather it was getting thoroughly polished tonight!

Polish ALL the Leather Things: 1d10+3 4

(Wow, two natural 1's in a row!)

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb





Prole the Organizing Imp noticed that we had two problems, and one easy use. Too rich to see the use of a union? Too many unfencable gold coins? Well, it doesn't take an accountant Imp to add two and two together. There's plenty of lumpen lying around the streets that'd kill for a decent gig, and maybe you can have some advocate for free bread and circuses on the side...


Organize a large mob of hooligans, ruffians, assorted riff-raff and bored people that accept gold to do things to go around smashing up wealthy people's poo poo: 1d10+3=7

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007



Yam Slacker



The Imp Erator was pleased with outcomes so far, but not happy about the lac of productivity. So, he headed over to the toolmaker, and tried to hypnotize him into paying the shoemaker to use the finest tools the toolmaker could make as an ongoing demonstration of what the toolmaker was capable of. Oh, and putting in an advance order for more shoes while he was there.

Hypnotise the toolmaker into paying the shoemaker to use his finest masterwork tools, and to place an advance order for shoes: 1d10+3 4

TheGreatEvilKing
Mar 28, 2016




(technically he should be the Illusion Imp but whatever)

"Hmm", Pyros muttered as he stared at the pile of illusionary coins - or rather, the empty space left coins that Prole had run off with to start some kind of communist revolution. A pity the shoemaker was an honest man, they were usually a lot harder to find than this.

Yet the sorcerer's binding compelled him to continue helping with the rent, so he looked around the place trying to think of some ideas. It was a well-kept place, but could use some sprucing up to get a better clien -

Just as Pyros was about to finish his thought, three imps ran by screaming about a "robbing party".

And then the robbing party was four.

Using his illusionary powers to cover the burglar team: 1d10+3 10

Bee Bonk
Feb 19, 2011



Why bad?
Shoeman did the drugs...So why bad? It didn't make sense until Molly really looked at the human's idiot face with his tiny, useless eyes.
Understanding jittered through Molly's mind like a squirrel over high-tension wires. Humans were stupid and bad at doing things, else they wouldn't need imps. The imp, prying a loose nail out of a table with her teeth, grasped the bent piece of iron and hastily carved a simple credo in the Shoemaker's headboard; something even an idiot human bean could comprehend.



Perfect.

Then, to leave no room for error, Molly snorted a couple of ground-up trucker souls off the Shoeman's shaving mirror, and grinning like an electrocuted corpse, descended into a wide-eyed frenzy of table-nudging, bench-sorting, paper-stacking workflow enhancement.

INCREASE PRODUCTIVITY!: 1d10+3 6

The Lord of Hats
Aug 22, 2010





Stallone was pretty pleased with himself. Operation Cow had been a resounding success. Sure, the cow hadn't been turned into shoes *yet*, but it was leather now, and that was pretty good!

He knew, though, that there was a lot more that needed doing than that, especially with everyone carrying on with different plans. It was all moving in the same general direction, sure, but otherwise it was pure chaos. Which was wonderful! But when you were driving cows for hundreds of miles, you learned to take the long view of things. Not that Stallone had actually done that--he was the Rodeo Imp, not the cattle drive imp, after all. But he was cattle drive adjacent, and that was good enough.

No, Stallone knew that if they wanted to keep this good thing going, they would need to take some additional steps to make sure that Gottfried didn't start getting any strange ideas about "the job is complete", or "this has gone too far" or "maybe it's time to dismiss all of these imps that I've summoned and entrusted with a broadly-specified task".

Stallone was not the imp to convince Gottfried. Fortunately, you don't need to bother convincing anyone of anything when you've got them hog-tied in the basement, and that was right in Stallone's wheelhouse. Evidently this line of thinking pleased somebody down below, because a cowboy hat popped into existence on his head. How much more of a sign could you possibly need to tell you that what you're doing is a good idea?

Lasso Gottfried: 1d10+3 13

Captainicus
Feb 22, 2013




As Slick begins his setup for the insurance scam, he decides that he should perhaps the fine print isn't fine enough, and summons up a Fine Monocle to better scribe the tiniest of text. Next up, he needs to deal with that landlord problem... and it'd be harder to manipulate him if he didn't know where he was! Thus, he decides to inquire among the urchins and beggars and other low-lifes in order to locate that landlord!

Low Life Information Hunt: 1d10+3 7

sheep-dodger
Feb 21, 2013



Midas the Transmutation Imp

Hm, the shoemaker couldn't spend the nice gold coins because it would be suspicious and none of his customers ever paid this much? Time to spruce up his storefront to have some more class to attract richer clients! And what's the classiest look? Gold of course!

Turn the storefront gaudy beautiful by making it golden: 1d10+3 6

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0


Grimey Drawer



Flux had noted with some dismay that this plane was reluctant to play along, having anchored the concepts of time and space together in the most mundane and boring way possible. Well, fine! If he had to play by the rules, he would play by the rules hard.

It was said in realms like these that the faster you went, the slower time would be, so naturally the best way to go about things would be to slow down time considerably for the Shoemaker. It made perfect sense!

Time dialation to give the Shoemaker Bullet Shoe Time: 1d10+3 10

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Carecalmo
May 14, 2013



So, Omp the Curious Imp thought to himself, the landlord isn't in the street.. He appears to be hiding. And when you hide, Omp reasoned, you must hide UNDER something. How else will you be hidden?
It's not like humans just fade away at night like imps do during the day.

Therefore.. since the landlord is not in the street, he must be hiding under it!

Omp immediately began looking for a way into the sewers. Maybe there would be other things hidden down there as well?
Searching the sewers for the landlord... and other things: 1d10+3 11

  • Locked thread
«5 »