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Ted the Accountancy imp has a sensible vest. Ted took one look at the shoemaker's shop and could tell why the man wasn't able to make rent: poor management. The place had the same look the dread offices of Pandemonium had before the great Bal'gruz the Auditor, Balancer of the Book of the Damned came in and cleaned things up. After a few minutes of searching, Ted found the shop's books buried under some weeks old newspapers. Balance Rodrick's messy books: 1d10+3 4 Ted groaned in frustration, what a mess! The imp spent the rest of the night searching for each and every one of Rodrick's old receipts and bills of sale. paper bag with a face fucked around with this message at 06:20 on Mar 13, 2018 |
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Mar 10, 2018 21:23
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| # ¿ Apr 18, 2024 19:55 |
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The books were balanced for now and the shop was ISO-666 compliant. Now was the matter of Ted's favorite subject: tax returns! He sat down with a copy of human tax code and began filling out paperwork. From the bookkeeping Ted did the other night the imp had found that the kindly cobbler gave out quite a few pairs of shoes and other assorted services for free! Jackpot! Tax writeoffs for charity! Prepare for Tax Season: 1d10+3 10 Wow! Human tax code was MUCH easier than Hell's byzantine system!
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Mar 13, 2018 23:40
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 Ted was pretty sure a bunch of other imps wanted to perform some insurance fraud, so improving the shop itself was quite possibly a waste of time. Instead he looked over the Shoemaker's records and looked for ways to improve his business model for future ventures. There were dozens of small inefficiencies in the business plan but the most egregious was that Rodrick's leather guy was clearly ripping him off! Ted scribbled down a list of recommendations and taped it to Rodrick's dumb, sleeping face. Leave Rodrick some constructive notes: 1d10+3 4 Unfortunately, many of Ted's suggestions were tailored more for a denizen of Hell than a humble earthly cobbler!
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Mar 18, 2018 07:52
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 "drat it, Flux!", Ted grumbled, "You need to be more careful! Do you really want time cops on us?" Ted whipped out his temporal auditing tool to resolve some of the time traveling imp's paradoxes. Time for some 4D accountancy! Account for Flux's Time Paradoxes: 1d10+5 13
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Mar 24, 2018 22:57
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Ted chooses a new cosmetic! Let's get a nice accountancy visor on him! Something had to be done about that PI. Ted clambered into the investigator's office and took a look around. Before long, the imp found it. The detective's web of intrigue. Every one of the predictable ding-dongs had some old unsolved case they were creepily obsessed with. Ted took note of the most likely suspects and began working on some incriminating tax forms. The guy on the board with the most circles around his picture now had some mysterious holdings somewhere inside a nearby mine that was closed for being dangerous. Ted positioned the forged documents as if someone had slid them under the PI's door and made his exit. Lure the PI somewhere dangerous: 1d10+5 6 When Ted got back to the Shoemaker's workshop, he took a look over all the books. A lot had changed, and it was obvious Rodrick's bookkeeping skills weren't up to snuff. Improve Cashflow: 1d3+5 8
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Mar 29, 2018 20:09
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 So this Erika was some kind of jeweler, eh? Excellent. Ted made his way over to the town's tax office to see if she had submitted her taxes for the year. She had! And best of all, nobody had gotten around to looking over them yet. Ted spent a moment looking over her various tax forms before tossing them into a nearby, convenient fireplace. The Accountancy imp took a bunch of blank tax forms and filled them out with Erika's information, only all wrong. Numbers didn't add up. Erika seemingly had all sorts of fantastical holdings, even abstract concepts. Spelling errors. One field just contained a drawing of a butt. "Let's see her try to hide a kidnap victim from an auditor.", Ted smirked. gently caress up Erika's taxes: 1d10+6 13 Oh hell yeah. Can Ted get some nice reading glasses or perhaps some slacks? Your choice. Ted returned to the shoemaker's workshop a few hours later and frowned. Something had to be done about all this hellmarked gold. Ted played with his pen as he considered how to launder the stuff. Surely some human somewhere preferred the infernal gold to the so-called "real" stuff? Launder the Hellmarked Gold: 1d3+6 7
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Apr 4, 2018 15:05
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| # ¿ Apr 18, 2024 19:55 |
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 Ted would like some sensible slacks to go with his vest! Gottfried was a goober, and an irresponsible one at that, but Ted felt a little bad about his current state. After all, the last week was the most fun Ted had in eons! The incompetent sorceror's loose directive beat the lash of Vael'narath the Dread Auditor, Lord of the Transposed Column any day! So, Ted decided to balance the proverbial books. There are two things in the universe that are certain: death and taxes. Gottfried was already dead, so it was time for Ted to introduce him to the latter. Ted took the sorcerer's skull and placed it a ring of shredded tax forms and fel equations. The Accountancy Imp cracked open his copy of the infernal tax code and began to drone its forbidden knowledge. When the dread ritual reached a crescendo, Ted took out a fancy, unnaturally sharp pen and engraved a loophole into the skull's forehead. Death and Taxes: 1d10+6 16 Not a typical lichdom ritual, but Ted ran the numbers and the metaphysical forces involved were perfectly balanced. He laid the infernal fountain pen next to Gottfried's skull. Unless some other imp had a better one, it would make a decent enough phylactery. As an afterthought, Ted left a note next to the pen that read, "HIDE THIS, STUPID", with an arrow pointing to the pen (or other prospective phylactery). Now then, one last thing to do. Ted did what he did best. Find a loophole. Find that Loophole: 1d3+6 7
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Apr 8, 2018 03:50
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