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Stallone the Rodeo Imp materialized, his spurred boots jingle-jangle-jingling as he walked. He could tell with a glance that they didn't have nearly enough materials for... whatever it was that they were supposed to be doing. He hadn't really paid attention. Not that he needed an excuse to do his thing. He left through the front door, and when he returned, it was with a handful of roped-up cattle. Leather doesn't get any fresher than "still on the cow"! Rustle some cattle: 1d10+3 11
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Mar 11, 2018 02:18
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 21:20 |
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 Stallone was pretty pleased with himself. Operation Cow had been a resounding success. Sure, the cow hadn't been turned into shoes *yet*, but it was leather now, and that was pretty good! He knew, though, that there was a lot more that needed doing than that, especially with everyone carrying on with different plans. It was all moving in the same general direction, sure, but otherwise it was pure chaos. Which was wonderful! But when you were driving cows for hundreds of miles, you learned to take the long view of things. Not that Stallone had actually done that--he was the Rodeo Imp, not the cattle drive imp, after all. But he was cattle drive adjacent, and that was good enough. No, Stallone knew that if they wanted to keep this good thing going, they would need to take some additional steps to make sure that Gottfried didn't start getting any strange ideas about "the job is complete", or "this has gone too far" or "maybe it's time to dismiss all of these imps that I've summoned and entrusted with a broadly-specified task". Stallone was not the imp to convince Gottfried. Fortunately, you don't need to bother convincing anyone of anything when you've got them hog-tied in the basement, and that was right in Stallone's wheelhouse. Evidently this line of thinking pleased somebody down below, because a cowboy hat popped into existence on his head. How much more of a sign could you possibly need to tell you that what you're doing is a good idea? Lasso Gottfried: 1d10+3 13
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Mar 14, 2018 05:04
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 As Stallone faded out for the day, his last sight was Rodrick's visible relief at the lack of mystery cows, and despite his incredible pleasure at his new hat, Stallone scowled and seethed. This was a man who worked with leather every day! How could he not appreciate the majesty of its origins? Had he simply not been exposed to them before? This was clearly a grave inju-- --stice. When Stallone popped back in the next night, it was with a clear plan in mind. Rodrick would learn to appreciate the gift of cow. The Cow-ing would continue until morale improved. So intense was Stallone's sense of purpose, so concentrated his accumulated Rodeo Energy, that a pair of chaps--their material ripped from the flayed skin of the damned--coalesced into being around his legs. Yes. Come Heaven or high water, he would see this through. Ideally it would be done before nearby farms ran out of cows, but you couldn't rush this sort of thing. It would take time! quote:Rustle More Cattle!: 1d10+3 13
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Mar 16, 2018 22:54
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 That should be a good enough supply of materials for a while, Stallone decided. And besides, just supplying cows, while important, was boring. He wanted to go for a real ride, but he didn't want to break the terms of the binding while he was at it. He considered taking Gottfried out for a spin, but Jade told him quite firmly that the sorcerer wasn't meant for that kind of riding. As he was making his way back from Gottfried's dorm, though, he saw it--a competing shoe shop! Oh, this was a wonderful excuse for some mayhem. Sneaking inside, he conjured up a bull, mounted up, and gave it a swat, gripping its horns for dear life as it began to thrash about, smashing the storefront to pieces. "YEEHAW!" Bull in a Shoe Shop: 1d10+3 10
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Mar 22, 2018 01:22
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 Stallone was glad that his new horns came in normally. For a moment there he'd thought he'd wind up with bull horns, and while sticking to a theme was good, there was such a thing as taking it too far. Smashing up that shoe shop had been satisfying, but Stallone hungered for more. A good stampede down the middle of town ought to keep people occupied, right? Lead the Stampede!: 1d10+5 6 Well, that was the idea. Unfortunately the cows were proving unusually docile, so in the end he had to settle for leaving them in really inconvenient places. That should be good for a little confusion, at least!
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Mar 27, 2018 17:31
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The PI had been slowed down, but it was time to make him be gone for good. But murder and conspiracy was all so boring. Clearly, this guy just needed a change in lifestyle! All that drinking and monologuing couldn't be good for his long term health. So as the man fell asleep at his desk that night, bottle in hand, Stallone snuck up and whispered into his dreams. "You've been at this a long time. Sure, it's got its ups and its downs. Mostly downs. But you can deal with that. You're a tough guy. But there's one thing that really eats at you after a while. It's all the lying. Clients, witnesses, suspects... they all lie to you, thinking you won't find out. That you won't know better. And not being able to trust... that gets to a guy, after a while, you know? All that paranoia and suspicion. And you've gone through all of that over the years, and for what? A shithole office, and worse booze? The chance to get lied to by some spectacular dames? Please. That's a bad deal and you know it. But you haven't been able to find your way out. But maybe... maybe there's a way. There's been a lot of cows around lately. Funny thing, that. Don't seem to belong to anyone, either. Hell, they're in the way, most of the time! You'd be doing everyone a favor if you rounded them all up and led them out of town. And you know, a herd of cows... that's a good start for a guy, isn't it? Drive them out onto the plains, use your cows to get more cows. That's a living, right there. And with how people are going crazy for new shoes, the leather's going to be in demand, too. It'd all be so easy. Just head out there with your herd, get a whole knew life going. Cows don't lie to you. Wolves and coyotes will try and get your cows, but they're going to be honest about it. It's a better life. A healthier life. And maybe, if you play your cards right... you might even find a clue towards the legendary herd of the Rancher King. They say he drove it--the biggest herd you've ever seen, with the biggest cows--to the end of the Grand Trail, waiting for someone worthy to come and claim it. You're a smart guy. You know a few tricks. You could make that happen. Just gotta get going. But hey, going off a dream is crazy, right? You'll need more of a sign than that. You'll need something to show you that this was really meant to be." With a snap of his fingers, Stallone left the office, leaving the PI's snores and a quiet mooing behind him. Whispers of the Grand Ranch: 1d10+5 10 Have A Cow, Man: 1d3+5 8
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Mar 29, 2018 22:37
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 As the former PI wandered off to his new life, Stallone carefully slipped a small piece of paper into his pocket--a business card, with Stallone's smiling face and name on one side, and his summoning details on the reverse that the PI could take to a friendly neighborhood warlock for processing. Wreaking havoc under a poorly-worded binding was all well and good, but a nice long contract in his actual purview sounded really relaxing right now. A pleasant vacation. That was going to have to wait, though. Right now, there were some people posing serious threats to the current contract. Some 'Erika' had gone and rustled their Shoemaker, and there was a wizard that was probably going to banish them if they didn't stop him first. Fortunately, Stallone had never met a problem that couldn't be solved with enough rope and some good knots. It'd be a lot easier for everyone else if the threats were hog-tied! Wrangle that Shoemaker-Rustler!: 1d10+6 11 Wizard Wrangling: 1d3+6 8
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Apr 5, 2018 16:12
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 21:20 |
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 Stallone casually strode over to Lotti, spurs jingling. Sure, he could try flying to get her attention, but it looked like everyone else was already doing that. Besides, flying was a waste of a perfectly good pair of boots--these boots were made for walking, after all. He gave a quick tug on the edge of her shirt, and then spoke up. "Hey, moment of your time... you're about to get basically all of us asking to be your familiar, because we can tell you're gonna go a long ways. That'd be a real sweet gig, it makes sense everyone wants it. Now, me? I know I'm not cut out for it. Sure, I can get you all the livestock sacrifices you could possibly want, but you can do better than that for your familiar. No, I've got something else in mind. See, there was a PI who was looking into all the... stuff that's been happening. Long story short, he's about to get into ranching instead, and he's gonna need help. I gave him my card, but he'll need a good diablerist to make that happen. He gets a ranch hand, I get a steady job, you get some spending money and an in on cheap cattle--and believe me, you'll be grateful for that when you realize just how much blood you're going to need. Sounds like a good deal, right?" Self Promotion: 1d3+6 8 It was then that the time cop phased into everyone's midst. Fuckin' Time Cops, man. All that power, and they use it to try and stop people from having fun. And they weren't even any good at it! The guy was just standing there getting his bearing. He wasn't even quick-witted enough to realize he was being roped until it was already too late. "Seriously, where do they hire you guys?" Time Cop Wrangling: 1d10+6 14
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Apr 8, 2018 03:09
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