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Caganer posted:
Caganer posted:lol ok buddy
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Mar 13, 2018 01:37
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nice username/post combo 
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Mar 13, 2018 01:41
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I jus need ta check inside ya rear end in a top hat sir
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Mar 13, 2018 02:21
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Caganer posted:try a 10+ character mnemonic with uppercase, lowercase, numbers, and symbols Oh, it's been a while since I've had an iPhone. I didn't know you could use a real password now
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Mar 13, 2018 02:26
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The best is the 3x3 grid of dots passcode cause you can usually just look closely at the grease their fat thumb left on the screen and figure it out
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Mar 13, 2018 02:37
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What are your rights when flying domestically vs international? Can you tell the TSA to go pound sand without a warrant? This is all confusing and I don't trust any TSA flunky to actually know the law.
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Mar 13, 2018 02:44
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Big Mouth Billy Basshole posted:What are your rights when flying domestically vs international? Can you tell the TSA to go pound sand without a warrant? This is all confusing and I don't trust any TSA flunky to actually know the law. You seem to have none, cause flying is 'optional' or some poo poo.
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Mar 13, 2018 02:52
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Those who give up their freedom for liberty deserve neither
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Mar 13, 2018 02:59
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i should be able to open carry an assault rifle through the airport too
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Mar 13, 2018 03:03
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If you cracked my phone you'd find out how much I enjoy spicy memes and cat pictures copy pasted from Imgur and also a suspiciously large number of bikini photos of Star Trek actress Jolene Blalock
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Mar 13, 2018 03:10
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Im Ready for DEATH posted:i should be able to open carry an assault rifle through the airport too you actually can in many states as long as you carry it pre-security 
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Mar 13, 2018 03:11
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Remember when the TSA grabbed Penn Jillette's dick? Good times.
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Mar 13, 2018 03:17
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Wrath of the Bitch King posted:Remember when the TSA grabbed Penn Jillette's dick? Good times. Last Thursday I was flying to LA on the Midnight flight. I went through security my usual sour stuff. I beeped, of course, and was shuttled to the "toss-em" line. A security guy came over. I assumed the position. I had a button up shirt on that was untucked. He reached around while he was behind me and grabbed around my front pocket. I guess he was going for my flashlight, but the area could have loosely been called "crotch." I said, "You have to ask me before you touch me or it's assault." He said, "Once you cross that line, I can do whatever I want." I said that wasn't true. I say that I have the option of saying no and not flying. He said, "Are you going to let me search you, or do I just throw you out?" I said, "Finish up, and then call the police please." When he was finished with my shoes, he said, "Okay, you can go." I said, "I'd like to see your supervisor and I'd like LVPD to come here as well. I was assaulted by you." He said, "You're free to go, there's no problem." I said, "I have a problem, please send someone over." They sent a guy over and I said that I'd like to register a complaint. I insisted on his name and badge number. I filled it out with my name. The supervisor, I think trying to intimidate me, asked for my license, and I gave it to him happily as he wrote down information. I kept saying, "Please get the police," and they kept saying, "You're free to go, we don't need the police." I insisted and they got a higher up, female, supervisor. I was polite, cold, and a little funny. "Anyone is welcome to grab my crotch, I don't require dinner and a movie, just ask me. Is that asking too much? You wanna grab my crotch, please ask. Does that seem like a crazy person to you?" I had about 4 of them standing around. Finally Metro PD shows up. It's really interesting. First of all, the cop is a BIG P&T fan and that ain't hurting. Second, I get the vibe that he is WAY sick of these federal leather-sniffers. He has that vibe that real cops have toward renta-cops. This is working WAY to my advantage, so I play it. The supervisor says to the cop, 'He's free to go. We have no problem, you don't have to be here." Which shows me that the Feds are afraid of local. This is really cool. She says, "We have no trouble and he doesn't want to miss his flight." I say, "I can take an early morning flight or a private jet. " The cop says, "If I have a citizen who is saying he was assaulted, you can't just send me away." I tell the cop the story, in a very funny way. The cop, the voice of sanity says, "What's wrong with you people? You can't just grab a guy's crank without his permission." I tell him that my genitals weren't grabbed and the cop says, "I don't care, you can't do that to people. That's assault and battery in my book." The supervisor says that they'll take care of the security guy. The cop says, "I'm not leaving until Penn tells me to. Now do you want to fill out all the paper work and show up in court, because I'll be right there beside you." The supervisor says it's an internal matter, and they'll take care of it. "If you want to pursue this, we're going to have to go through the electronic evidence." I say, "You mean videotape? Yeah, go get it." She says, "Well, it'll take a long time, and you don't want to miss your flight. We have no problem with you, you're free to go." The cop says, "Your guy grabbed his crank. That ain't right." So, I fill out all the paper work and insist on a number to call to register a complaint. She says that I filled out a complaint, and I say, "I want more, give me another number. " She gives me a number that I find out later has been disconnected. I leave. I have a card with the name and number on it and the bad 800 number for the FAA. My flight is way delayed, so I go to Burger King with Glenn - and all the feds are now off duty and at BK and sneering at us. The next day the woman in charge of public relations calls me to "do anything to make my McCarran experience more enjoyable." I was a little under the weather with allergies and busy, so I didn't call back until yesterday. It took some phone tag, but I finally got the woman on the phone. I was very cool and sweet. I explained the problem. "Do you allow your crotch to be grabbed without being asked?" I didn't exaggerate, I said that there was nothing sexual, I wasn't hurt, and it wasn't my genitals. I just said it was wrong. She said "Well, your feedback is really important because most people are afraid of us." She said, "I'd love to meet you so we could clear this up, and everyone wants to meet a celebrity." She said she had watched the videotape and there was no sound, but she saw him reach around. She said she couldn't tell me what was being done to him but . . . and I stopped her and said, she shouldn't do anything wrong. I said that I had talked to two lawyers and they said it was really a weird case because no one knows if he can be charged with assault and battery while working in that job. But I told her, that some of my lawyer friends really wanted to find out. She said, "Well, we're very new to this job . . ." and I said, "Yeah, so we need these test cases to find out where you stand." She said, "Well, you know a LOT about this." I said, "Well, it's not really the right word, but freedom is kind of a hobby with me, and I have disposable income that I'll spend to find out how to get people more of it." She said, "Well, the airport is very important to all of our incomes and we don't want bad press. It'll hurt everyone, but you have to do what you think is right. But, if you give me your itinerary every time you fly, I'll be at the airport with you and we can make sure it's very pleasant for you." I have no idea what this means, does it mean that they have a special area where all the friskers are topless showgirls, "We have nothing to hide, do you?" I have no idea. She pushes me for the next time I'm flying. I tell her I'm flying to Chicago around 2 on Sunday, if she wants to get that security guy there to sneer at me. She says, she'll be there, and it'll be very easy for me. I have no idea what this means. I tell her that I'm still thinking about pressing charges, and I don't just care about me, it's freedom in general. I say the only thing that was good about it, was that while they were dealing with me, maybe they weren't beating up people in wheelchairs. It was amazing. All she was trying to do was make me happy. She said she'd burned a CD ROM of my video and it was being sent all around and they were going to change their training. She said, "We're federal employees, we're working for you, you pay us and we want customer satisfaction. It doesn't matter what the law is, we have to make you very happy so your flying experience is a pleasurable one, and most people don't give us this kind of intelligent feedback." So, that was it. I'm flying on Sunday, I have no idea what will happen. How crazy is this? Do I really have some sort of mysterious VIP status to shut me up? Should I press charges? She said she was going to talk to the cop. I said he didn't see anything. She said, "Well, he may be able to see the forest for the trees, because he was right there." I quoted his "crank" comment and she laughed and then knew that was a very bad sign. I said, "He'll tell you I was polite, cold, angry, and funny" - that's more than should be expected of me. I still don't know what I'm going to do, but my advice to everyone is complain all you can and call the cops. I think it might make a little difference. Maybe you can become a VIP too.
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Mar 13, 2018 03:24
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*Forensic technician in white lab coat enters homeland security command center holding cracked iPhone 5s* *grim team of detectives siting behind one way mirror staring at suspect handcuffed to metal chair* "Sir we've reconstructed the last 48 hours of his internet usage, I think you're going to want to see this." "Put it on the screen captain, let's see what we're dealing with" *wall size flat screen tv, cursor flashes, words form and run across screen:* Google search: _actress name vulcan lady Star Trek _actress name Vulcan lady Star Trek enterprise _jolene blalock _jolene blalock Star Trek _Jolene blalock jumpsuit _jolene blalock purple jumpsuit _jolene blalock purple jumpsuit enterprise _jolene maxim fhm _jolene blalock now _jolene blalock 2018 _t'pol _t'pol nude _ Vulcan t'pol Star Trek nude _jolene blalock nude _ naked Jolene t'pol Star Trek _star trek sex scene _naked t'pol sex scene _blalock contamination chamber sideboob breast _naked t'pol blalock breast
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Mar 13, 2018 03:34
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Wrath of the Bitch King posted:Remember when the TSA grabbed Penn Jillette's dick? Good times. holy poo poo my chud friend loooooves P&T and said he hoped trump would abolish the TSA when i asked him shortly after the election wtf he expected trum to do i thought he was just being retarded, didn't know it was personal Novo fucked around with this message at 03:41 on Mar 13, 2018 |
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Mar 13, 2018 03:39
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I hope my phone gets inspected so some poor TSA officer has to read all my shitposts
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Mar 13, 2018 03:40
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naem posted:*Forensic technician in white lab coat enters homeland security command center holding cracked iPhone 5s* this is obviously false, since i use the superior duck duck go search engine
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Mar 13, 2018 03:45
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TSA should be abolished tbh. It's meaningless security theatre that misses any dangerous substances or weapons 90% of the time and exists solely to sexually molest travelers.
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Mar 13, 2018 04:20
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yea if Trump actually ever did so away with the tsa that would almost redeem the white supremacy and gestapo revival and destruction of other vital institutions thru shear incompetent morons like devos, zinke, mulvaney, Pruitt etc But lol it’s just be replaced by even lower rate garbage private rent a cops with even less accountability
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Mar 13, 2018 04:24
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Rutibex posted:just make an image of your phone memory and upload it to some cloud service. travel with no SIM card (buy a new one where your going) and have the phone in factory reset state. you can restore it once you arrive. what if you want to like make a call
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Mar 13, 2018 04:27
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Ardemia posted:Shout out if you have a flagged passport due to bringing too many electronics and batteries through the Chunnel! I mean I can see how it looked suspicious in the X ray but come on, the full body scanner at LAX and the extra searches at every airport I've been to since then have not been fun. Since the Chunnel thing, I've had to prove functionality of every electronic device I have taken through security too. I even had UK customs ask me about any computer repairs I may have done while in their country. I've pushed batteries into your mom's chunnel. Nobody's bothered me about it
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Mar 13, 2018 04:29
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a bone to pick posted:Imagine instantly feeling helpless when you're out of reach of your cell phone, how loving doomed are future generations? You've been detained for vague reasons, with zero clarification for why it is happening and for how long it will continue. They are somewhat threatening, like all law enforcement interactions, where they treat you like you are probably a criminal. As soon as you lose your phone you've lost access to the external world, making you feel even more isolated and powerless. That is an additional source of stress that they could probably easily reduce with better explanation of what they are doing, and allowing you to watch whatever scan they are doing like standard baggage checks. They force people who have done nothing wrong into these messed up interrogation like experiences. That is a very literal and clear loss of civil liberties. It's bad even without speculating about what might be going on behind the scenes, like inserting spyware or targeting people based on their identity or social connections.
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Mar 13, 2018 04:41
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Methanar posted:I've pushed batteries into your mom's chunnel. Nobody's bothered me about it But did it make a frightened train station customs worker unpack every item from your backpack and swab for explosives?
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Mar 13, 2018 04:44
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Ardemia posted:But did it make a frightened train station customs worker unpack every item from your backpack and swab for explosives? Only the ones that watched me do the deed
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Mar 13, 2018 04:55
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Parallax Scroll posted:what if you want to like make a call i donno use a payphone or something
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Mar 13, 2018 04:55
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Ardemia posted:But did it make a frightened train station customs worker unpack every item from your backpack and swab for explosives? In an event of a dildo, the airline will never refer to it as "Your dildo".
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Mar 13, 2018 05:32
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Rutibex posted:i donno use a payphone or something Ah, yes, all you have to do is find a payphone in this, the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Eighteen. God bless you, noble soul, for your quest is an honorable and just one- may heaven smile on your journey and all the saints sing your praises.
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Mar 13, 2018 08:15
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AbusePuppy posted:Ah, yes, all you have to do is find a payphone in this, the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Eighteen. God bless you, noble soul, for your quest is an honorable and just one- may heaven smile on your journey and all the saints sing your praises. Easy just find a seedy dive bar or Italian American pizzeria
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Mar 13, 2018 08:16
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Don't worry OP, you can still make improvised weapons out of stuff you can buy once you get through tsa. Just google it to find out how!
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Mar 13, 2018 15:37
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used to work with a guy who admitted he got fired from the TSA. he never explained how, though based on the stories he told me of his work as a private security guard i can only assume he either tried to beat someone up or got caught taking a nap
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Mar 13, 2018 16:08
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anyway that said TSA is petty and stupid but i'd rather deal with their brand of security theater than the angry shitheads at customs and border patrol.
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Mar 13, 2018 16:12
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3hands posted:Don't worry OP, you can still make improvised weapons out of stuff you can buy once you get through tsa. Just google it to find out how! i love that they take my diet dew but sell both airspray and lighters at the airport rite aid
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Mar 13, 2018 16:15
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Caganer posted:i love that they take my diet dew but sell both airspray and lighters at the airport rite aid Well, if you had that Dew with you, you'd probably be a lot more vulnerable to EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMist beliefs.
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Mar 13, 2018 16:27
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AbusePuppy posted:Well, if you had that Dew with you, you'd probably be a lot more vulnerable to EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMist beliefs. [dad laugh]
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Mar 13, 2018 16:47
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Colonel Cancer posted:TSA should be abolished tbh. It's meaningless security theatre that misses any dangerous substances or weapons 90% of the time and exists solely to sexually molest travelers. But what about all those jobs that would be lost
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Mar 13, 2018 17:28
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Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:But what about all those jobs that would be lost i guess they can be telephone sanitizers or travel agents
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Mar 13, 2018 17:34
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Volcott posted:I've never had the opportunity to say "get a warrant buttfucker" and at this point I'm worried I've missed my chance. Hey, I'm a cop. mind if I look through your things?
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Mar 13, 2018 17:43
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SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:Someone provide a hot take, i cannot read The OP is noted retard gagelion
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Mar 13, 2018 20:03
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once in dc they had a cop with a table searching bags and he was like "bag search" and i said "no thanks" and kept walking and they didn't do anything  in nyc they'll often only do it at one entrance and you can just go in another way but they will force you to do the search or go around
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Mar 13, 2018 20:25
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:anyway that said TSA is petty and stupid but i'd rather deal with their brand of security theater than the angry shitheads at customs and border patrol. agreed but it depends how you cross. all of the times I’ve driven over has been lovely experiences by rifle toting meat heads trying to trip me up. they can take your car apart and you can’t do much about it. when I’ve boated across they’ve been very nice though
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Mar 13, 2018 21:18
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