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Harminoff
Oct 24, 2005

listerine and mr. green

http://www.scientology.tv/

quote:

the network will feature original series such as Meet a Scientologist, Voices for Humanity and L. Ron Hubbard: In His Own Voice. It will also offer a selection of “Scientology Principles” films, which explain “Basic Scientology Technology.”

https://twitter.com/Scientology/sta...280793790468098

Let's speculate on what this will/won't be. Only minutes to go!

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Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004
LUKE SKYWALKER FUCKS REY AND SHE CALLS HIM DADDY


Will Tom Cruise have a TV series? I'd watch the gently caress out of that.

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009


Seems like this idea is too little too late.

Kharnifex
Sep 11, 2001

Plop

Seems a bit clam baked

Cantaloupe
Apr 18, 2009

I'll be the rollinbout


Fun Shoe

Does Scientology make money anymore? It seems like anyone wealthy enough for them to really exploit is either already a member or has heard a million horror stories and will never fall in with them.

SammichBacon
Nov 11, 2013


All hail Xenu.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

probably good background tv

weg
Jun 6, 2006

Reassisted Retrogression

I hope its like some of the leaked videos that have popped up online.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF1tPlgctss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Lkhc9YyZ2c

There were more but they seem to have been scrubbed.


So many new words, acronyms and phrases to learn!

Ardemia
Jan 2, 2004
IT IS MY RIGHT TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL WHEN I'VE PUT BACK SIX SHIRLEY TEMPLES OK



I wonder if they will discuss Scientology as it relates to lovely dumb business practices.


I worked for a Scientologist who tried to send office staff to brainwashing camp in California, ama

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Ardemia posted:

I wonder if they will discuss Scientology as it relates to lovely dumb business practices.


I worked for a Scientologist who tried to send office staff to brainwashing camp in California, ama

how was camp?

china bot
Sep 7, 2014

you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX


Plaster Town Cop

Bull & Bait - they're security guards

Ardemia
Jan 2, 2004
IT IS MY RIGHT TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL WHEN I'VE PUT BACK SIX SHIRLEY TEMPLES OK




I did not go and resigned employment there before I was supposed to go to camp. A childhood friend that worked there went to the camp, and it hosed his mind up. Imagine a big, lovely cult indoctrination layer cake with a frosting of sales/marketing advice. Now imagine you are eating that cake for four days straight a la treehouse of horror where Homer eats donuts in hell all day.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Everything I post is dumb and wrong


seems kind of behind the times. maybe they should try a youtube channel. as if i'm watching TV lol, try again L Ron Hubbard

SeXReX
Jan 9, 2009

I drink, mostly.
And get mad at people on the internet




To be fair talking advice on making money from the people who scam rich people out of their money would probably be good if you were getting real advice and not being scammed

Ardemia
Jan 2, 2004
IT IS MY RIGHT TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL WHEN I'VE PUT BACK SIX SHIRLEY TEMPLES OK



SeXReX posted:

To be fair talking advice on making money from the people who scam rich people out of their money would probably be good if you were getting real advice and not being scammed

Their "business training" basically puts your business at the second tier of a pyramid scheme, with your customers functioning as the lowest level tier.

The scammers scam you into scamming customers, basically.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

we are LIVE baby

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.


it's so easy to join!

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


I've seen some leaked Scientology material and Hubbard is the gooniest motherfucker. The way he speaks is hilarious.

Labes for days
Dec 14, 2010

His third chybut sack swelled.


Are they gonna have a Neopets cartoon

Kharnifex
Sep 11, 2001

Plop

They are down to around 100k cultists internationally

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?


this is least weird thing to come out of the year yet so idgaf

SeXReX
Jan 9, 2009

I drink, mostly.
And get mad at people on the internet




Ardemia posted:

Their "business training" basically puts your business at the second tier of a pyramid scheme, with your customers functioning as the lowest level tier.

The scammers scam you into scamming customers, basically.

That's just the basic concept of capitalism though?

ass cobra
May 28, 2004



Soiled Meat

is it possible to watch without having to download a scientology app to my phone

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

rear end cobra posted:

is it possible to watch without having to download a scientology app to my phone

click the link in the op

ass cobra
May 28, 2004



Soiled Meat

Hector Beerlioz posted:

click the link in the op

lol i thought it was just like a video background thing

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



i heard tom cruise left the church of scientology. it was exploding and he was running away real fast and then leaping above the camera to safety.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

And if I'm gonna cry, I don't need your shoulder.

Have any of you ever actually met a Scientologist in real life? I mean actually met them and spoke to them socially, not just been handed a pamphlet on the street etc.

What are they like? Are they as nutty as I would expect them to be? Are they as glass eyed and vacant as they seem on TV? Did they try and recruit you into their cult? (remember I am asking about meeting a Scientologist, not just being accosted on the street with a Dianetics book.)

Joe Mama Poonana
Sep 12, 2014



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtPJo5zg464

this is on US Netflix, watch it it's good

Caganer
Feb 15, 2018
Probation
Can't post for 8 days!


i took their poersonality quiz (fake answers) at their office across from the vancouver film school they were salty i didnt want to buy anything. when i told them i didn't have my wallet they offered to drive me to my hotel to grab it (WTF).

i told them i'd be back another day and asked to use the bathroom, upper decked the toilet, then booked it

HungryMedusa
Apr 27, 2003

Sometimes you want to ride the roller coaster twice and you don’t wanna wait in line.


They should show this classic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyNh1j3dsp8

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

the e meter told me i was gay, off the charts gay

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?


Caganer posted:

i took their poersonality quiz (fake answers) at their office across from the vancouver film school they were salty i didnt want to buy anything. when i told them i didn't have my wallet they offered to drive me to my hotel to grab it (WTF).

i told them i'd be back another day and asked to use the bathroom, upper decked the toilet, then booked it

you fool, now they have your dna.

Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

Carthago delenda est

I don't even own a TV

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011


Labes for days posted:

Are they gonna have a Neopets cartoon
Whatever gets the kids on the boat.

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

We must secure the existence of civil argument and a future for healthy discourse.


Jose Oquendo posted:

Will Tom Cruise have a TV series? I'd watch the gently caress out of that.

I've honestly started to suspect that Tom Cruise is just a sci-fi fanatic nerd to the point that he believes in space alien religions more than the religion making him go crazy. I'm kind of OK with that.

Ardemia
Jan 2, 2004
IT IS MY RIGHT TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL WHEN I'VE PUT BACK SIX SHIRLEY TEMPLES OK



SeXReX posted:

That's just the basic concept of capitalism though?

lol very true. This was even more extra. They would encourage you to raise your prices 50% across the board. Why? "Higher prices give an air of exclusivity and quality." This is without changing the quality of your product, or offering any extra services. Keep in mind this course cost thousands of dollars for the owner and then several thousand per employee. You get a referral discount for sending more people/employees to them. You can use these discounts on additional specialized training through them, which in turn would cost even more money.

They also encouraged staying within their umbrella of "known" companies (companies that had paid for Scientology training or were actively ran and staffed by Scientologists) who would turn around and gouge you the same way you gouged your customers. Want a website redo? That 1000 dollar rework just went up to 3000 because you both attended the same hosed up cult indoctrination.

There's also internal documents that will disclose to a business owner if a similar business has already undergone the program. In my case, this meant that we would send work to a different shop across town when we were at capacity and they would do the same. Pretty much an informal noncompetition and price fixing scheme, but I'll leave that for lawyers to argue about.

If you want to dive down the google rabbit hole on this poo poo, google Management Success complaints. You can play the fun game of spotting the shills/Scientologists giving rebuttal. Bonus points if you find out the gigantic umbrella of companies Scientology has doing this same thing for dozens of industries. There's levels to this poo poo, man.

I wish i had a copy of their Weekly Sales Improvement Planning Sheet. Its the dumbest poo poo ever

Colonel Cancer posted:

I've seen some leaked Scientology material and Hubbard is the gooniest motherfucker. The way he speaks is hilarious.

This is so loving true! My favorite is his use of the words "technology" and "ethics". The dumb motherfucker threw those around like he had just read them in the dictionary that day and wanted everyone to know he knew those words, despite having to make up his own definitions for them to match his ridiculous usage of them. Also the dude on camera is seriously like some goon talking during a goonmeet video or some poo poo.

If you want to spot a Scientologist out in the field, pay attention to how they use the terms ethics and technology. If they are using some wackadoo definition for either watch the gently caress out.

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004

Thank You,
Thank You,
Thank You GOD!


My review: it's weird and boring. Very boring.

HungryMedusa
Apr 27, 2003

Sometimes you want to ride the roller coaster twice and you don’t wanna wait in line.


Ardemia posted:

Entheta!!

I am writing a knowledge report on you! So entheta!

Obsidianheart
Apr 25, 2017

Throwing off the shadow of a better man.

My dad told me this story last year:
Just after I was born, one of my dad's college buddies randomly turned up at our house. He had a motorcycle with a couple of huge saddlebags tied to it and a backpack, and that was it. He hung out for two days, and left in the early, early morning of the third. At noon on the third day, two FBI agents arrived at our house and one detained my parents and I (like, I was literally 5 months old so I don't remember any of this poo poo) in the kitchen, and the other one ransacked our house. They asked my parents about the guy who was staying with us, and repeatedly asked about a large video tape. In the mid seventies, this was uncommon, and my parents swore up and down they never saw anything like that. The FBI agents left, but my dad swears up and down that he saw one of the guys a few days later at the grocery store.

Ten years passed. My parents split up, and my dad moved out of state. He reconnected with several of his college buddies, and they had an informal reunion. The guy who stayed with us those three days showed up, and dad got pissy with him about the FBI visit. The guy explained he had been involved with the Church of Scientology, and he and a few other members had broken into a Federal building to steal records, and this guy had bee given a video camera (the really big ones you see on-location news guys using) to film the break-in. They were discovered, and all but two of the Scientologists involved were caught. This guy got away, but he had to ditch the camera, but he kept the tape. He went on the run, hung out at our place for three days with the tape hidden under the mattress of my crib, then left. He made his way north, but got nabbed just outside of Canada, and turned State's evidence to get a really light sentence.

My dad thought that this guy was making poo poo up this whole time, until I explained that the events he was describing were almost certainly part of Operation Snow White, where Scientologists tried to steal their own Federal files for the church's suspicious activities. My dad still doesn't believe any of it.

Anyway, that's my Scientology story. I think they're all either duped or scum, depending on how high up they are.

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Borrowed Ladder
May 4, 2007

monarch of the sleeping marches

When I was a little kid they would play the Dianetics commercial on TV and I was VERY intrigued.

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