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  • Locked thread
Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord

Ardemia posted:

I did not go and resigned employment there before I was supposed to go to camp. A childhood friend that worked there went to the camp, and it hosed his mind up. Imagine a big, lovely cult indoctrination layer cake with a frosting of sales/marketing advice. Now imagine you are eating that cake for four days straight a la treehouse of horror where Homer eats donuts in hell all day.

If it was free seems like you missed out on a good trip imo

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SeXReX
Jan 9, 2009

I drink, mostly.
And get mad at people on the internet


:emptyquote:
Depends on what kind of cake it is really

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Just lol if you aren't 110% deadset in your nihilism to the point that no religious or political brainwashing can take root.

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Colonel Cancer posted:

Just lol if you aren't 110% deadset in your nihilism to the point that no religious or political brainwashing can take root.

That's another 30 days in "the box" for you, young acolyte of no faith.

Malcolm Excellent
May 20, 2007

Buglord
SCIENTOLOGY IN THE HOOD

OB-GYN Kenobi
Dec 4, 2017

Caganer posted:

i took their poersonality quiz (fake answers) at their office across from the vancouver film school they were salty i didnt want to buy anything. when i told them i didn't have my wallet they offered to drive me to my hotel to grab it (WTF).

i told them i'd be back another day and asked to use the bathroom, upper decked the toilet, then booked it

Sounds like this was in a commercial office building, did the toilet even have an upper deck to upper deck? Or did you just launch it all over the pipes and the handle?

Also, when you upper deck a toilet, are you allowed to wipe? And do you place the aftermath in the bowl or upper deck? Users choice?

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005

CHIEFS

BITCH



I wish I could laugh about this, but I’m an ADHD sufferer and scientologists do a lot of harm to the mental health field.

Death to scientology.

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

They should do a Battlefield: Earth show on it

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Chrs Gry posted:

They should do a Battlefield: Earth show on it

i saw that movie in theaters with a friend and i thought it was cool but afterwards he said it sucked and so i pretended to think it sucked too bc i didnt want to seem lame

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel
Are there any goon scientologists?

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free
couldn't loving believe this when I saw an ad for it

leah remini you were supposed to defeat them :smith:

Colonel Cancer posted:

Just lol if you aren't 110% deadset in your nihilism to the point that no religious or political brainwashing can take root.

yyyyyep

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

Chrs Gry posted:

They should do a Battlefield: Earth show on it

There was apparently an (unreleased?) animated Battlefield Earth TV series that was supposed to have come out after the movie, but I never heard or saw anything more about it than the cast list and an announcement on some site, maybe even an early 00s IMDB had a page for it.

I guess the movie not doing so well lead to it vanishing or something.

edit: I found this:
https://www.awn.com/news/animated-battlefield-earth-coming-tv

JediTalentAgent fucked around with this message at 08:37 on Mar 21, 2018

curlys gold
Jan 17, 2018

Hector Beerlioz posted:

the e meter told me i was gay, off the charts gay

u are ready for the next level friend

Dogmeat
Jun 20, 2003


Woof!

Colonel Cancer posted:

I've seen some leaked Scientology material and Hubbard is the gooniest motherfucker. The way he speaks is hilarious.

I worked at a plant that pressed vinyl records and the Scientologists have archived all of his speeches so that in case there is some kind of global catastrophe that knocks out all mass media and plunges the world into darkness, we’ll still be able to clear our Thetans with dianetics or whatever because you can play records with a needle and a rolled up piece of paper.

E: and they specifically think hearing his voice will push the message better than if a few unburned copies of his fanfics survive, which is a real lol.

Dogmeat fucked around with this message at 08:44 on Mar 21, 2018

Furia
Jul 26, 2015

Grimey Drawer

Dogmeat posted:

I worked at a plant that pressed vinyl records and the Scientologists have archived all of his speeches so that in case there is some kind of global catastrophe that knocks out all mass media and plunges the world into darkness, we’ll still be able to clear our Thetans with dianetics or whatever because you can play records with a needle and a rolled up piece of paper.

E: and they specifically think hearing his voice will push the message better than if a few unburned copies of his fanfics survive, which is a real lol.

Don’t they also have a cathedral in Mexico with all his writings in a solid gold disk or something?

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

BrigadierSensible posted:

Have any of you ever actually met a Scientologist in real life? I mean actually met them and spoke to them socially, not just been handed a pamphlet on the street etc.

What are they like? Are they as nutty as I would expect them to be? Are they as glass eyed and vacant as they seem on TV? Did they try and recruit you into their cult? (remember I am asking about meeting a Scientologist, not just being accosted on the street with a Dianetics book.)

i used to work for some scientologists. they owned a small chain of pizzerias in NYC called Goodfellas, and became kinda famous when Giuliani declared Goodfellas to be his favorite pizza place. there were three owners: a guy named E.J. and his two brothers in law, one of whom was a retired nypd officer who was trying to become an actor. E.J. was a nice dude and apparently he only became a Scientologist after getting married, and it was his wife's family that was really into it, E.J. didn't really give much of a gently caress about it. but his brothers in law were loving gung ho about it.

we were located around the corner from the South Beach Psychiatric Center, a big psych hospital with a large residential area, and lots of the live-in patients would order delivery from them. the two brothers always had lots of Scientology pamphlets in their offices and in their cars and poo poo, and when we'd get an order from the psych center, they'd run and grab some pamphlets about the evils of psychiatry and demand that we bring the pamphlets with us and hand them out to as many patients as we could during the delivery, like slipping them under the doors to patients' rooms and stuff. these pamphlets were nuts too, accusing psychiatrists of being rapists and murderers and poo poo, and the owners seriously expected us to distribute these IN A PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL while we were delivering pizza. we'd always just throw them in the dumpster once we got outside and then lie to the owners when we got back and say we totally handed them all out, honest injun! they'd always ask every time we got back if we handed them all out, and if any of the doctors had given us a hard time, and if we had witnessed any crimes while we were there.

this went on for months until one of the owners happened to be crawling around in the dumpster for some reason and discovered hundreds of pamphlets in there. he fired the last driver who had taken an order to the hospital, assuming it was him who threw them out, and he insisted on accompanying the next few drivers who delivered to the hospital and he went and handed the pamphlets out himself.

one of the staff members flipped out over this and told my boss he had to leave the premises and they got an a huge screaming match, and I got to witness first-hand my boss get right up in this guy's face and scream "what are your crimes?! what are your crimes?!" over and over at this poor guy, ignoring everything the guy said and shouting over him, repeating "what are your crimes?!" the whole time. he had started out yelling about how the guy worked for murderers and was complicit in rape and whatnot, but once he hit his boiling point or whatever, all he would say was "what are your crimes?!" and nothing else. he was like inches away from this guy's face, he backed him against a wall, and his face went bright red and the vein on his forehead looked like it was gonna explode. it was honestly fuckin terrifying. the cops came, but when they saw it was a former cop as well as the co-owner of Goodfellas, they just sorta asked him politely to leave and promised to keep an eye on the hospital and look into the doctors there, and thanked him for letting them know what was going on there :jerkbag:

my boss and i got back in my car to head back to the pizzeria and my boss kept muttering "those fuckng killers, those goddamn loving murderers" and then he actually started crying. he was like "I just can't stand knowing that those monsters are right around the corner from us, that women are being raped all day and night just down the block from us and they won't let me do anything about it!"


the other super scientologist brother was even weirder, although he didn't get so worked up over the psych hospital. he wanted to be a stand up comic really bad and would try his material out on the staff, and we'd all have to pretend to laugh and it was very uncomfortable. he was actually a lot like Steve Carrel on The Office, actually, like that type of humor, and the same obsession with being liked and having people laugh at his comedy.

he had a catch phrase, "Don't be three feet behind your head!" whenever someone did something stupid or made a mistake or something, he'd yell "don't be three feet behind your head!" at them and laugh like crazy, like this was the funniest thing imaginable. it was so bizarre and none of us could figure out what this was supposed to mean.

anyway, in my personal life, I had been having a pretty rough time, and one weekend I intentionally ODed on painkillers in a half-assed attempt at suicide. I spent a few days in a psych hospital and had one of my friends/co-workers call out for me. this kid was kinda dumb, though, and he actually told our boss what happened and where I was. when I came back to work, my boss called me into his office and asked me about what had happened. I told him it was personal and I didn't feel comfortable talking about it, but he went into this very weird serious mode that id never seen him do before. he was usually this obnoxious wannabe try hard "comedian" so this super serious act kinda threw me off.

he pulled out a notebook and pen and told me to watch him very carefully. he started explaining how depression works and drawing these weird little doodles to emphasize each point he made, like he'd say "you're stressed out about school, you've got to keep your grades up to maintain your scholarship," and he'd draw this weird little circular doodle, then "you and your girlfriend are getting more serious, you've got more commitments and responsibilities now, it's not the carefree fling it used to be, it's stressful now," and he'd doodle another little circular thing then he'd make this real heavy forceful line connecting the two doodles, then "your parents see you getting older, they expect a lot more from you now. you're not a kid anymore, they're treating you like an adult and expecting you to BE an adult even though you still feel like a kid sometimes" and he'd make another doodle, and then SCRATCH! he'd make another heavy line connecting this to the other doodles. he kept doing this, listing different areas of my life that would have me feeling stressed, drawing a little doodle, and then BOOM! he'd make this sudden heavy line, like he was punctuating each point he would make.

I don't know if this is making any sense to anyone else. it was really strange, it made ME feel really strange, like I was being hypnotized or something. he'd speak in this calm, melodic voice about how my bills were stressing me out, then BOOM! this loud, surprising movement as he drew another line. then more melodic words about balancing work and school, then BOOM! he'd surprise me with another violent scratch across the paper. I assume this was some sort of brainwashing technique they use because after like ten minutes of this I was ready to listen to whatever he said. like I actually felt captivated by what he was saying, and I'd always detested this guy and found him to be a total jackass. ive never experienced anything quite like that before or since.

he ended up putting on this video on the TV in his office. I think it was some sort of Dianetics DVD. it explained all about your "reactive mind", and how engrams form in your mind and how they affect your thoughts and actions subconsciously. apparently there exists some sort of metaphysical "brain" about three feet behind your actual head, and our experiences leave little "engrams" in this second brain, and if we don't purged these engrams from the second brain, we start reacting to everything with this second brain instead of our true brain and we make bad decisions without even realizing it. hence his catchphrase, "don't be three feet behind your head!" - don't think with your reactive mind and make bad decisions.

he then told me to throw away whatever medication I had been prescribed at the hospital, as they were dangerous narcotics that could kill me. cancel my follow up appointment with the psychiatrist, the guy was at best a clueless idiot who didn't realize how harmful he was, and at worst he was a malicious criminal, possibly a sex pervert. instead of seeing a psychiatrist, my boss would see me after work once a week to help me clear my reactive mind of all these engrams that were making me depressed. he also gave me a massive bottle of some vitamin complex to take every day. I agreed to meet him after work on Wednesday nights, and he let me take the night off to go home and think about our conversation.

when I got my next paycheck, I saw that he had deducted like $40 for the bottle of vitamins lmfao

obviously I didn't cancel my Dr appointment or anything, I kept taking my meds and seeing the doctor and I never bothered showing up Wednesday night to meet with him. I just pretended like the whole thing never happened, and he never brought it up again. but before that whole thing, I was one of his favorite employees and he had given me a nickname he used to call me all the time. afterwards, when i didn't show up for whatever the hell we were supposed to do in Wednesday night, he stopped using my nickname :(

Dogmeat
Jun 20, 2003


Woof!

Furia posted:

Don’t they also have a cathedral in Mexico with all his writings in a solid gold disk or something?

It's quite possible though that sounds sorta Mormon at the same time. We just stored the mother copy of the audio recordings at my work and I bumped into them once and asked about it. As far as I know they've been sitting there for so long nobody in scientology even remembers they're there though I believe they have the masters.

E: I suppose those masters might be what you’re referring to and the fact that they’d be gold plated doesn’t rule it out either since they’re produced through electrolysis, but the master is a negative (it has peaks instead of grooves) and won’t be playable like the mothers are.

Dogmeat fucked around with this message at 09:59 on Mar 21, 2018

Uncle Wemus
Mar 4, 2004

hubbard really needed psychiatric help

Faffel
Dec 31, 2008

A bouncy little mouse!

Uncle Wemus posted:

hubbard really needed psychiatric help

Crazy person rails against psychiatric industry. Hmm.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Faffel posted:

Crazy person rails against psychiatric industry. Hmm.

I thought it was more "people in need of psychiatric help make excellent marks for a self help scam" so down with psychiatry, up with dianetics

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
eh I guess it's just both, very serendipitous

HungryMedusa
Apr 28, 2003


The vault thing is supposedly real and there are more than one.

"... the point of the vaults is to store L. Ron Hubbard’s writings and lectures in the form of etched steel plates in titanium containers, as well as in other forms, so that his “technology” could survive a nuclear attack and help reform society in an apocalyptic world."

https://www.villagevoice.com/2012/02/06/scientologys-secret-vaults-a-rare-interview-with-a-former-member-of-hush-hush-cst/

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I saw their dumb boat in Aruba.
They make all the arubans who do anything for them sign ludicrous NDAs.
The people of Aruba very strongly dislike them being there.

Ardemia
Jan 2, 2004

IT IS MY RIGHT TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL WHEN I'VE PUT BACK SIX SHIRLEY TEMPLES OK

:patriot:

Gatekeeper posted:


he pulled out a notebook and pen and told me to watch him very carefully. he started explaining how depression works and drawing these weird little doodles to emphasize each point he made, like he'd say "you're stressed out about school, you've got to keep your grades up to maintain your scholarship," and he'd draw this weird little circular doodle, then "you and your girlfriend are getting more serious, you've got more commitments and responsibilities now, it's not the carefree fling it used to be, it's stressful now," and he'd doodle another little circular thing then he'd make this real heavy forceful line connecting the two doodles, then "your parents see you getting older, they expect a lot more from you now. you're not a kid anymore, they're treating you like an adult and expecting you to BE an adult even though you still feel like a kid sometimes" and he'd make another doodle, and then SCRATCH! he'd make another heavy line connecting this to the other doodles. he kept doing this, listing different areas of my life that would have me feeling stressed, drawing a little doodle, and then BOOM! he'd make this sudden heavy line, like he was punctuating each point he would make.

I don't know if this is making any sense to anyone else. it was really strange, it made ME feel really strange, like I was being hypnotized or something. he'd speak in this calm, melodic voice about how my bills were stressing me out, then BOOM! this loud, surprising movement as he drew another line. then more melodic words about balancing work and school, then BOOM! he'd surprise me with another violent scratch across the paper. I assume this was some sort of brainwashing technique they use because after like ten minutes of this I was ready to listen to whatever he said. like I actually felt captivated by what he was saying, and I'd always detested this guy and found him to be a total jackass. ive never experienced anything quite like that before or since.


The owner of the place I worked used to do a similar thing with a whiteboard during our weekly meetings. He would draw out these entity relational diagrams with different shapes and would outline them or redraw the lines while raising and lowering his voice. He also would do this thing where he would make what appeared to be idle nervous gestures with his hand, but would use it to distract irate customers or employees asking him too many questions.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Ardemia posted:

He also would do this thing where he would make what appeared to be idle nervous gestures with his hand, but would use it to distract irate customers or employees asking him too many questions.

hahaha i had a teacher in h.s. who taught me about this technique and i used to make use of it whilst working retail to deal with angry middle aged white ladies who blamed me for their coupons being expired, it was fairly effective

Jesus Christ
Jun 1, 2000

mods if you can make this my avatar I will gladly pay 10bux to the coffers

Kharnifex posted:

Seems a bit clam baked

:golfclap:

sick brunch kills
Nov 18, 2016

Brunch DJ goin' hard as fuck


This avatar brought to you by the Lowtax Needs a New Spine Fund
I remember reading some ex Scientologist post a story on some ex-Scientology site about like being in some loving abandoned waste of a building with a bunch of other glazed eyed freaks where they were all ready to literally kill each other for access to some OT level or some poo poo, maybe make that into a show

Atomic Robo-Kid
Aug 18, 2008

.Blast.Processing.

There's a pizza chain in Texas called Mr Jim's Pizza, run by a a scientologist.

Some of the worst pizza I've ever had haha. According to their website there's a poo poo ton of them in Texas, I've only been to one that was around either Kingwood or Humble, can't recall. Spring maybe?

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

but i dont wanna be a spaceship
Fun Shoe
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Hill_Manor < This place is not as far from me as I would like it to be.
Although to tell the truth, I don't remember seeing them at their usual spot in a large shopping mall for at least 7-8 years, maybe they all died.

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel
So whats the scoop on this network do they have any good shows?

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


Uncle Wemus posted:

hubbard really needed psychiatric help

hubbard was a cynical fuckhead but i bet he would pass muster. he surrounded himself with idiots because he enjoyed controlling people and living a live just taking the piss and making that religion money while acting like a james bond villain.

HungryMedusa
Apr 28, 2003


hakimashou posted:

So whats the scoop on this network do they have any good shows?

Yes! Watch it for 24-48 hours straight to see for yourself!

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Body Thetans, piled high.

Mukip
Jan 27, 2011

by Reene

BrigadierSensible posted:

Have any of you ever actually met a Scientologist in real life? I mean actually met them and spoke to them socially, not just been handed a pamphlet on the street etc.

What are they like? Are they as nutty as I would expect them to be? Are they as glass eyed and vacant as they seem on TV? Did they try and recruit you into their cult? (remember I am asking about meeting a Scientologist, not just being accosted on the street with a Dianetics book.)

Pretty sure I met one when I attended a protest against them some years back. One guy was a "photographer" who joined our protest and started taking pictures of the event, including us. He just seemed like a guy chronicling the event for a while, but he couldn't help himself and started arguing politely but incessantly about how wrong we all were and just-asking-questions-maaan. Some other protesters got mad at him for snapping their pics and surrounded him until cooler heads intervened to let him go.

Mukip fucked around with this message at 04:12 on Mar 24, 2018

Faffel
Dec 31, 2008

A bouncy little mouse!

HungryMedusa posted:

The vault thing is supposedly real and there are more than one.

"... the point of the vaults is to store L. Ron Hubbard’s writings and lectures in the form of etched steel plates in titanium containers, as well as in other forms, so that his “technology” could survive a nuclear attack and help reform society in an apocalyptic world."

https://www.villagevoice.com/2012/02/06/scientologys-secret-vaults-a-rare-interview-with-a-former-member-of-hush-hush-cst/

This is one of the most nightmarish scenarios for a post-apocalyptic world I can imagine. An actual good Fallout game about a culture raised back to culture via Scientology would own.

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


Not-scientology plays a huge role in fallout one so it's not exactly surprising

Dogmeat
Jun 20, 2003


Woof!

Faffel posted:

This is one of the most nightmarish scenarios for a post-apocalyptic world I can imagine. An actual good Fallout game about a culture raised back to culture via Scientology would own.

The Hubologists in Fallout 2 were a very thinly veiled jab at Scientologists

Faffel posted:

I was way too young to have heard of scientology when I played that poo poo tbh

I probably learned about Scientology because of it (Juan Cruz wasn't exactly subtle), but :same:.

Dogmeat fucked around with this message at 04:31 on Mar 24, 2018

Faffel
Dec 31, 2008

A bouncy little mouse!

I was way too young to have heard of scientology when I played that poo poo tbh

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Smythe
Oct 12, 2003

Gatekeeper posted:

i used to work for some scientologists. they owned a small chain of pizzerias in NYC called Goodfellas, and became kinda famous when Giuliani declared Goodfellas to be his favorite pizza place. there were three owners: a guy named E.J. and his two brothers in law, one of whom was a retired nypd officer who was trying to become an actor. E.J. was a nice dude and apparently he only became a Scientologist after getting married, and it was his wife's family that was really into it, E.J. didn't really give much of a gently caress about it. but his brothers in law were loving gung ho about it.

we were located around the corner from the South Beach Psychiatric Center, a big psych hospital with a large residential area, and lots of the live-in patients would order delivery from them. the two brothers always had lots of Scientology pamphlets in their offices and in their cars and poo poo, and when we'd get an order from the psych center, they'd run and grab some pamphlets about the evils of psychiatry and demand that we bring the pamphlets with us and hand them out to as many patients as we could during the delivery, like slipping them under the doors to patients' rooms and stuff. these pamphlets were nuts too, accusing psychiatrists of being rapists and murderers and poo poo, and the owners seriously expected us to distribute these IN A PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL while we were delivering pizza. we'd always just throw them in the dumpster once we got outside and then lie to the owners when we got back and say we totally handed them all out, honest injun! they'd always ask every time we got back if we handed them all out, and if any of the doctors had given us a hard time, and if we had witnessed any crimes while we were there.

this went on for months until one of the owners happened to be crawling around in the dumpster for some reason and discovered hundreds of pamphlets in there. he fired the last driver who had taken an order to the hospital, assuming it was him who threw them out, and he insisted on accompanying the next few drivers who delivered to the hospital and he went and handed the pamphlets out himself.

one of the staff members flipped out over this and told my boss he had to leave the premises and they got an a huge screaming match, and I got to witness first-hand my boss get right up in this guy's face and scream "what are your crimes?! what are your crimes?!" over and over at this poor guy, ignoring everything the guy said and shouting over him, repeating "what are your crimes?!" the whole time. he had started out yelling about how the guy worked for murderers and was complicit in rape and whatnot, but once he hit his boiling point or whatever, all he would say was "what are your crimes?!" and nothing else. he was like inches away from this guy's face, he backed him against a wall, and his face went bright red and the vein on his forehead looked like it was gonna explode. it was honestly fuckin terrifying. the cops came, but when they saw it was a former cop as well as the co-owner of Goodfellas, they just sorta asked him politely to leave and promised to keep an eye on the hospital and look into the doctors there, and thanked him for letting them know what was going on there :jerkbag:

my boss and i got back in my car to head back to the pizzeria and my boss kept muttering "those fuckng killers, those goddamn loving murderers" and then he actually started crying. he was like "I just can't stand knowing that those monsters are right around the corner from us, that women are being raped all day and night just down the block from us and they won't let me do anything about it!"


the other super scientologist brother was even weirder, although he didn't get so worked up over the psych hospital. he wanted to be a stand up comic really bad and would try his material out on the staff, and we'd all have to pretend to laugh and it was very uncomfortable. he was actually a lot like Steve Carrel on The Office, actually, like that type of humor, and the same obsession with being liked and having people laugh at his comedy.

he had a catch phrase, "Don't be three feet behind your head!" whenever someone did something stupid or made a mistake or something, he'd yell "don't be three feet behind your head!" at them and laugh like crazy, like this was the funniest thing imaginable. it was so bizarre and none of us could figure out what this was supposed to mean.

anyway, in my personal life, I had been having a pretty rough time, and one weekend I intentionally ODed on painkillers in a half-assed attempt at suicide. I spent a few days in a psych hospital and had one of my friends/co-workers call out for me. this kid was kinda dumb, though, and he actually told our boss what happened and where I was. when I came back to work, my boss called me into his office and asked me about what had happened. I told him it was personal and I didn't feel comfortable talking about it, but he went into this very weird serious mode that id never seen him do before. he was usually this obnoxious wannabe try hard "comedian" so this super serious act kinda threw me off.

he pulled out a notebook and pen and told me to watch him very carefully. he started explaining how depression works and drawing these weird little doodles to emphasize each point he made, like he'd say "you're stressed out about school, you've got to keep your grades up to maintain your scholarship," and he'd draw this weird little circular doodle, then "you and your girlfriend are getting more serious, you've got more commitments and responsibilities now, it's not the carefree fling it used to be, it's stressful now," and he'd doodle another little circular thing then he'd make this real heavy forceful line connecting the two doodles, then "your parents see you getting older, they expect a lot more from you now. you're not a kid anymore, they're treating you like an adult and expecting you to BE an adult even though you still feel like a kid sometimes" and he'd make another doodle, and then SCRATCH! he'd make another heavy line connecting this to the other doodles. he kept doing this, listing different areas of my life that would have me feeling stressed, drawing a little doodle, and then BOOM! he'd make this sudden heavy line, like he was punctuating each point he would make.

I don't know if this is making any sense to anyone else. it was really strange, it made ME feel really strange, like I was being hypnotized or something. he'd speak in this calm, melodic voice about how my bills were stressing me out, then BOOM! this loud, surprising movement as he drew another line. then more melodic words about balancing work and school, then BOOM! he'd surprise me with another violent scratch across the paper. I assume this was some sort of brainwashing technique they use because after like ten minutes of this I was ready to listen to whatever he said. like I actually felt captivated by what he was saying, and I'd always detested this guy and found him to be a total jackass. ive never experienced anything quite like that before or since.

he ended up putting on this video on the TV in his office. I think it was some sort of Dianetics DVD. it explained all about your "reactive mind", and how engrams form in your mind and how they affect your thoughts and actions subconsciously. apparently there exists some sort of metaphysical "brain" about three feet behind your actual head, and our experiences leave little "engrams" in this second brain, and if we don't purged these engrams from the second brain, we start reacting to everything with this second brain instead of our true brain and we make bad decisions without even realizing it. hence his catchphrase, "don't be three feet behind your head!" - don't think with your reactive mind and make bad decisions.

he then told me to throw away whatever medication I had been prescribed at the hospital, as they were dangerous narcotics that could kill me. cancel my follow up appointment with the psychiatrist, the guy was at best a clueless idiot who didn't realize how harmful he was, and at worst he was a malicious criminal, possibly a sex pervert. instead of seeing a psychiatrist, my boss would see me after work once a week to help me clear my reactive mind of all these engrams that were making me depressed. he also gave me a massive bottle of some vitamin complex to take every day. I agreed to meet him after work on Wednesday nights, and he let me take the night off to go home and think about our conversation.

when I got my next paycheck, I saw that he had deducted like $40 for the bottle of vitamins lmfao

obviously I didn't cancel my Dr appointment or anything, I kept taking my meds and seeing the doctor and I never bothered showing up Wednesday night to meet with him. I just pretended like the whole thing never happened, and he never brought it up again. but before that whole thing, I was one of his favorite employees and he had given me a nickname he used to call me all the time. afterwards, when i didn't show up for whatever the hell we were supposed to do in Wednesday night, he stopped using my nickname :(

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