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Roman Reigns is...
This poll is closed.
the NEW People's Champion 2 1.77%
the voice of the voiceless, the new CM Punk 11 9.73%
Vince McMahon's nemesis who Vince definitely doesn't favor in any way 19 16.81%
also wondering why there was a cameraman in the women's lockerroom 47 41.59%
THE BIG DOG! 34 30.09%
Total: 113 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

  • Locked thread
Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?




____________________________

Fastlane Results
  • AJ Styles defeated Kevin Owens, John Cena, Sami Zayn, Baron Corbin and Dolph Ziggler to retain the WWE Championship
  • Charlotte Flair defeated Ruby Riott to retain the Smackdown Women's Championship
  • The Usos vs The New Day went to a No Contest after a run-in and beatdown by The Bludgeon Brothers
  • Natalya and Carmella defeated Becky Lynch and Naomi
  • Randy Orton defeated Bobby Roode to win the United States Championship
  • Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Rusev
  • Breezango and Tye Dillinger defeated Chad Gable, Shelton Benjamin and Mojo Rawley on the Pre-Show.
____________________________

Raw Results
  • Kurt Angle opened the show to announce that Brock Lesnar was not there. Roman Reigns came out and complained that Brock was "Vince's boy" and that Roman was tired of dealing with a middle-man like Kurt and was going right to the source. Roman confronted Vince McMahon at the Gorilla Position, Vince had Dunn cut to commercial

  • Renee interviewed Vince McMahon after he and Roman had a meeting in his office. Vince insisted that Brock was nobody's boy but a man who had earned his luxuries, but he WOULD be at Raw next week and they had his word on that. He also announced that Roman had been suspended for a week.

  • Sasha and Bayley defeated Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose, though Bayley largely left Sasha to do the work. She did provide an assist for the win however, but walked out without celebrating, leaving Sasha upset in the ring.

  • Kid Rock is the Celebrity Inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame.

  • Miz tried to cause dissent between Seth Rollins and Finn Balor which largely worked even though the two did knock him out of the ring when he realized they still hated him. Rollins knocked out Balor afterwards, and a match between the two was announced for later tonight.

  • The Bar vs The Miztourage didn't happen, as the Miztourage jumped The Bar before the match. This brought out a lot of other teams as well, including Anderson and Gallows, The Revival, Slater and Rhyno and Apollo and Titus. Sheamus and Cesaro took the opportunity to get out of dodge.

  • Cena came out and admitted that he had nobody to blame for himself for his lack of a Wrestlemania match, as he'd blown opportunity after opportunity including at Fastlane the previous night. He said he would attend Wrestlemania as a fan, but after leaving came back where he said he couldn't resist calling out the Undertaker, and that he couldn't use the excuse of being old and washed up given the videos of working out he'd been posting on his wife's instragram. He called Taker an egomaniac, and said the ball was now in his court to answer his challenge.

  • The Bar were pissed at Angle backstage for letting the other tag teams jump them, but he reminded them they'd been asking for competition. They alluded to a possible "Superstar Shuffle" after Mania and asked to be traded to Smackdown to face the tag teams over there, but Kurt said they were going nowhere. Instead the other teams would compete in a tag-team battle royal, with the winner getting a shot at the tag titles at Wrestlemania.

  • Elias failed to complete an in-ring concert, still suffering the effects of the Symphony of Destruction match. Braun did a promo about he also doesn't have a Wrestlemania match, and he's going to go out and make one for himself.

  • Finn Balor defeated Seth Rollins in a lengthy match where he was on the back foot but was able to turn Seth's Superplex/Falcon Arrow combo into a roll-up pin. Seth was shocked and stormed out of the ring as a hurt but laughing Balor watched him go.

  • The official announcement of The Fabulous Moolah Battle Royal at Wrestlemania was made, with a package all about how wonderful and inspiring the Fabulous Moolah was, without (not surprisingly) going into any of the sleazy and dark stuff she was involved in. I'm unsure if the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal is also still happening.

  • A very, very long recap of the Angle/Rousey vs HHH/Stephanie angle.

  • Asuka came to the ring to be interviewed about her confrontation with Charlotte at Fastlane. Before Asuka could answer, Alexa Bliss and Mickie James came down to gloat and say that Asuka had chosen Charlotte because she was scared of Alexa. Asuka replied she wanted to fight the best champion in WWE, reminded Alexa she had beat her before and challenged her to a fight right now. Alexa faked out that somebody else was coming down (Nia?) but nothing happened, then Mickie James jumped Asuka from behind and laid her out... and then they just went to commercial?

  • Asuka defeated Mickie James in an impromptu match, submitting Mickie who screamed and begged for Alexa's help before finally submitting. Alexa immediately stormed out, pissed off at Mickie who was left devastated in the ring.

  • As Asuka's music played, the camera cut to the commentators who discussed Ultimate Deletion and teased a preview later tonight.

  • Alexa confronted Nia backstage, as Nia really was supposed to be the one who jumped Asuka in the previous segment. Nia explained she had a match scheduled next she had to prepare for, and Alexa did some more of the emotionally manipulative stuff from last week before making Nia promise to have her back when she faces Asuka next week.

  • Nia destroyed a local jobber. Then on the titantron a hidden camera in the women's locker room (!) revealed Alexa and Mickie laughing about manipulating Nia. Charley eventually showed up (way too late) to let them know the camera and microphone that were apparently ENTIRELY VISIBLE TO THEM were on, and that everybody had seen and heard them. Nia left the ring and went storming up the ramp.

  • Alexa and Mickie took off in a panic and then Nia arrived.... at which point we discovered it wasn't a stationary camera, THERE WAS A CAMERAMAN THERE THE ENTIRE TIME!

  • A preview of Ultimate Deletion saw Matt Hardy narrating a video of the Hardy Compound, complete with shots of not only the Lake of Reincarnation and Vanguard 1, but also Reby Sky, King Maxel, Senor Benjamin and baby Wolfgang. Bray Wyatt appeared afterwards to insist that Matt Hardy has made a mistake inviting him into his home.

  • A horrified referee was informed by Kurt Angle he was being assigned to officiate the Ultimate Deletion. The referee asked what he'd done wrong to deserve this.

  • The Bar came out to watch the Tag Team Battle Royal, but then BRAAAUUNNNNNN showed up and demanded they ring the bell, then immediately eliminated Apollo Crews. The bar joined the commentators as the match continued, eventually ending up with only the Good Brothers and the Miztourage left. Gallows, Axel and Dallas were all eliminated by Braun, but Anderson was able to fight him for a time before Braun finally caught him, bellowed,"I'M GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!" and tossed Anderson over the top rope into the other tag teams. The commentators argued whether Braun could legally be considered a "tag team".
____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • AJ Styles opened the show to talk about how unbelievable it was that he had come through Fastlane still the Champion, but then his entire run in WWE has been unbelievable. Shinsuke Nakamura came out too and the two got dueling chants. He explained Wrestlemania is where dreams come true, and his dream is to put his knee to AJ's face and become the Champion. Rusev and Aiden English came out.

  • AJ Styles vs Rusev ended in a DQ when Aiden English jumped AJ Styles. Shinsuke slowly stood up from his seat at ringside, took off his shirt, entered the ring and saved AJ, then walked out as AJ lay in the corner watching him go.

  • BIG E was interviewed backstage about the beatdown by the Bludgeon Brothers last week, and said that while Xavier and Kofi had been temporarily taken out he was still standing. Jimmy Uso stepped up and said that his brother had been laid out as well, but he was also still standing, and the two agreed to put any differences aside to take on the Bludgeon Brothers.

  • AJ met with Nakamura backstage and told him he didn't need Nakamura's help at Fastlane when he beat 5 other guys so not to feel cocky about helping him with Rusev and English. Nakamura grinned, said it looked like he did, and assured him he only helped him to make sure he'd make it to Wrestlemania to get beaten by Nakamura.

  • The Bludgeon Brothers defeated BIG E and Jimmy Uso in an exciting but short match. Jimmy and BIG E opened by attacking the Brothers on their way to the ring and coming at them with chairs, but the Brothers knocked them clear with their hammers. BIG E and Jimmy actually managed to get a lot of offense in the actual match but in the end Rowan was able to take out BIG E outside the ring and then he and Luke murderized Jimmy Uso for the pin.

  • Renee Young interviewed Sami Zayn backstage, where he said he didn't fail to become champion since if Shane hadn't hauled him off of a pinfall attempt on Owens he would be the Champion now. But he didn't blame Shane, he blamed Owens for causing Shane's obsession which was now affecting him, and he was furious that his own careful manipulations were ruined by the fallout from Owens and Shane's feud.

  • Charlotte came out to say she was excited at Asuka choosing her as her sacrificial victim at Wrestlemania, and had come to the ring to make sure she was there to meet her when Asuka made her first Smackdown appearance tonight. Asuka came out and Charlotte said she wants the opportunity and challenge of facing the best, so they can settle once and for all who is the best - and she will cement her legacy by ending Asuka's streak. Asuka replied that while Charlotte was a Queen, Asuka was the Empress, and she bowed to no one. As the two grinned at each other, Randy Orton's music played and the new US Champion came out while they were still in the ring.

  • Orton did a promo about how one of the only lists he cared about was the Grand Slam that he was now a member of having won the US Championship. Bobby Roode came down to tell him he was invoking his rematch clause at Wrestlemania where he would regain the US Title. Jinder Mahal showed up and told Orton to watch as Jinder defeated Roode just like he defeated Orton last week.

  • Jinder defeated Bobby Roode when, in a shocking turn of events, a Singh Brothers distracted Bobby and got knocked down, leaving Jinder an opening to hit the Khallas. After this fresh and exciting twist on the usual, Orton ran in and RKOed Jinder.

  • Renee interviewed Owens backstage about Sami's comments, and Owens complained that Sami should see that it is all Shane's fault. If Shane hadn't gotten involved, Sami would have never been in a position to betray Owens who would be the new WWE Champion. He went on a rant about how Shane is an egomaniac and shouldn't have been at ringside in the first place, and if Sami couldn't see that then Owens would teach him the lesson.

  • They played the Fabulous Moolah video again, once again singing the graces of a woman accused of pimping out female wrestlers and destroying multiple careers/lives.

  • Carmella defeated Naomi after getting kneed in the face, but then knocking the ropes out from under Naomi which stunned her long enough for Carmella to get the pin. It... was not good.

  • Shane came out, took some time to explain this entire Kevin/Sami storyline, then said that from next week Daniel Bryan will be running things himself because he is taking a leave of absence as Smackdown's Commissioner. His last announcement was that at Wrestlemania it would be Kevin Owens vs Sami Zayn. Kevin and Sami came out to talk poo poo to Shane, with Sami saying he was glad Shane was leaving.

  • Shane couldn't understand why they weren't happy at getting an opportunity to fight on the grandest stage of them all, and they thanked him sarcastically and then started beating on him. Shane managed to get the best of both of them (of course) until they managed to restrain him long enough to hit the Helluva Kick and Pop-up Powerbomb. Refs rushed to the ring and Kevin and Sami beat them up too, then pillmanized Shane's throat with a chair into the ring post.

  • Kevin Dunn was in fine form as usual:


  • They dragged Shane backstage bellowing,"WE'RE THE GOOD GUYS!" and,"WE'RE GONNA MISS YOU!" before giving him a Pop-Up Powerbomb onto an equipment case. He lay on the ground making,"OOOG! UGGG! OOOOOH" noises as the refs rushed to get the paramedics and apply a neckbrace.

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at Mar 14, 2018 around 07:32

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Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

This is cyber bulling and I will not stand for it.


ppl real mad about moolah

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one


Mel Mudkiper posted:

ppl real mad about moolah

moolah was a real bad person

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

Ms. Money


Hey J-Ru for the champ of the month poll, if Braun wins the tag titles on his own, please give him a spot on the list. Thanks.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA


Excited for people to be mad about Moolah even though they won't stop watching or giving money to WWE.

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

SAVE_US.SD14


That was one of the worst Raws I've ever seen, even the most redeeming part (Braun) was a lovely as hell booking decision

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


Banner day for WWE

Cornwind Evil
Dec 14, 2004


HE IS THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.

...and Team Hell No was almost six years ago. Christ, where does the time go.

Edit: Maybe when Renee came over for the interview, a cameraman stepped in behind the camera and hence was only there after she came on screen.

Endless Mike
Aug 13, 2003

Get running
Start pumping your bunions, I'm coming
I'm the dumbest, who flamethrow your function to Funyons
Flame your crew quicker than Trump fucks his youngest
Now face the flame fuckers your fame and fate's done with


This is very sexist. How do you know it wasn't a camerawoman in the women's locker room?

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

SAVE_US.SD14


Endless Mike posted:

This is very sexist. How do you know it wasn't a camerawoman in the women's locker room?

assuming the gender of the cameraPERSON should be a bannable offense imho

achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

#RXTREVOLUTIONFOREVER6


MassRafTer posted:

Excited for people to be mad about Moolah even though they won't stop watching or giving money to WWE.
Or direct their anger at the women talent for tweeting bland stuff about what an honor it is

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

This is cyber bulling and I will not stand for it.


Abroham Lincoln posted:

moolah was a real bad person

yeah I am surprised it never came up before now really

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007



This sure is a build for Wrestlemania Yup.

If they had the Authors of Pain do what Braun did that segment would of been 100 times better (well except for them misusing Karl Anderson cause god drat are they misusing him)

Moolah award already going to win worst promotional Tactic of the year unless AAA names a belt after Trump

Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?

I like how the storyline is Roman being mad at Brock for skipping this terrible Raw, who then just takes the rest of the show off after the 5 minute promo at the start.

Gumball Gumption
Jan 7, 2012



Remember when The Revival and DIY were putting on clinics? God has Raw made them look like poo poo.

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

SAVE_US.SD14


honestly, braun's angle should be angle telling him he can't fight at wrestlemania and then him destroying everyone, including pulling down the stage on top of roman reigns (the big dog)

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Endless Mike posted:

This is very sexist. How do you know it wasn't a camerawoman in the women's locker room?

I use cameraman to describe the occupation, no gender was assumed but I apologize!

Even if it was a woman... why was there a camerawoman in the women's locker room? Why did Alexa and Mickie not notice this or the big microphone? I have many questions!

fart blood
Sep 13, 2008



MassRafTer posted:

Excited for people to be mad about Moolah even though they won't stop watching or giving money to WWE.

I stopped watching for a really long time.

And I told everyone here to stop watching.

I might have returned, but know that I TRIED.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

This is cyber bulling and I will not stand for it.


Gumball Gumption posted:

Remember when The Revival and DIY were putting on clinics? God has Raw made them look like poo poo.

Wait whats that

A big NXT talent criminally misused on RAW?

fart blood
Sep 13, 2008



Jerusalem posted:

I use cameraman to describe the occupation, no gender was assumed but I apologize!

Even if it was a woman... why was there a camerawoman in the women's locker room? Why did Alexa and Mickie not notice this or the big microphone? I have many questions!

Well it was definitely a camerawoman and not a man because women love to watch other women destroy themselves because they are a catty gender you see

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

This is cyber bulling and I will not stand for it.


I also like that they are giving Roman Reigns, the most protected and pushed guy in the company, the "rebellious outsider" gimmick

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007



Grimey Drawer

Hot take: if they had done this build to Roman\Brock I and just crowned Roman then, also giving Vince and HHH a real reason to have Seth cash in (but only AFTER Roman won) it might have actually worked. As it stands now though? Eeesh.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


Rhonne posted:

I like how the storyline is Roman being mad at Brock for skipping this terrible Raw, who then just takes the rest of the show off after the 5 minute promo at the start.

My good friend The Big Dog was unjustly suspended #FreeReigns #yessir

Sugar Blaster
Dec 14, 2004

All ears, all eyes, all the time!

Brock is living out everyone's dream of not having to go to work and still getting paid while Roman continues to champion the virtues of being a consummate professional like a total melvin. Meanwhile, the face GM and the MMA lady are getting ready to fight their evil bosses in a couple of weeks at the company's premiere event.

fart blood
Sep 13, 2008



SamuraiFoochs posted:

Hot take: if they had done this build to Roman\Brock I and just crowned Roman then, also giving Vince and HHH a real reason to have Seth cash in (but only AFTER Roman won) it might have actually worked. As it stands now though? Eeesh.

I disagree because Roman isn't believable in this role and whoever is writing it isn't making it believable either.

This is why wrestling needs bookers instead of writers.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


fart blood posted:

This is why wrestling needs bookers

Agreed, fire Coach immediately

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007



Grimey Drawer

fart blood posted:

I disagree because Roman isn't believable in this role and whoever is writing it isn't making it believable either.

This is why wrestling needs bookers instead of writers.

I agree but he'd be MORE believable as that at Mania 31 and in a vacuum it's a smart story. 2018 Roman Reigns is just literally the worst possible person to slot in the role.

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006



This Brock angle could work if Roman wasn't the one saying it. But he's most of the things he's calling Brock, with the exception of being a full timer.

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Meltzer had a funny quote. "Look I liked OJ Simpson growing up but I wouldn't want to be in the OJ Battle Royal."

Dimebags Brain
Feb 18, 2013





MassRafTer posted:

Excited for people to be mad about Moolah even though they won't stop watching or giving money to WWE.

What if I've done both, can I be mad then?

fart blood
Sep 13, 2008



SamuraiFoochs posted:

I agree but he'd be MORE believable as that at Mania 31 and in a vacuum it's a smart story. 2018 Roman Reigns is just literally the worst possible person to slot in the role.

Correction: anyone Vince sees as The Guy is the worst possible person to slot into the role. Because now that fans know how Vince sees guys, and Vince will ignore anyone who gets over organically with the crowd if they weren't in his plans, the crowds will resent anyone that Vince wants to put in that spot, even if they liked that person before.

Sugar Blaster
Dec 14, 2004

All ears, all eyes, all the time!

Remember when Stone Cold would get "suspended" or "banned from the building" or something and all it meant was he'd show up toward the end of the show driving a monster truck or something? Roman, model employee, just takes his public shaming like a good little worker bee. That's the sort of no-nonsense asskicker I can really get behind!

Gumball Gumption
Jan 7, 2012



Its just flat out a bad story. When it comes down to it Romans promo is about how it isn't fair and he is going to sternly talk to management until they make it fair. Being the work snitch is never going to get over. You're especially not going to make it get over when your opponent is a dude who is famous for telling bosses and sponsers to gently caress off. The story just makes Roman look uncool.

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006



They should have made the feud about MMA, because Roman Reigns could probably beat Mark Hunt.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Mel Mudkiper posted:

I also like that they are giving Roman Reigns, the most protected and pushed guy in the company, the "rebellious outsider" gimmick

Remember when Roman won some big match to get a title shot (might have even been the Royal Rumble?) and the show ended with HHH and Steph coming out with these pissed off,"Fucccck now what are we gonna do?" faces, like we were supposed to buy Roman as the plucky outsider who MANAGEMENT didn't want to succeed?

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA


Dimebags Brain posted:

What if I've done both, can I be mad then?

I'll allow it!

Gaz-L
Jan 28, 2009


Gumball Gumption posted:

Its just flat out a bad story. When it comes down to it Romans promo is about how it isn't fair and he is going to sternly talk to management until they make it fair. Being the work snitch is never going to get over. You're especially not going to make it get over when your opponent is a dude who is famous for telling bosses and sponsers to gently caress off. The story just makes Roman look uncool.

It just reminds me that one of Cena's first big babyface moments in his rapper gimmick was to give Teddy Long the FU/AA because Teddy wouldn't let him beat up the heel he was feuding with. JOHN CENA was more believably anti-authority than Reigns. (I also vividly recall Vince doing a big heel promo that ended with him declaring he was UNTOUCHABLE, which seemed like an obvious set-up for Cena to come out and cut a promo on him, because his song's opening sting was "So... you think you're untouchable?"... yet, nada.)

fart blood
Sep 13, 2008



Jerusalem posted:

Remember when Roman won some big match to get a title shot (might have even been the Royal Rumble?) and the show ended with HHH and Steph coming out with these pissed off,"Fucccck now what are we gonna do?" faces, like we were supposed to buy Roman as the plucky outsider who MANAGEMENT didn't want to succeed?

Remember when they had the actual plucky outsider in Daniel Bryan and they did everything in their power to stop him from getting over, even going so far as to try to give Big Show the Yes chant?

Endless Mike
Aug 13, 2003

Get running
Start pumping your bunions, I'm coming
I'm the dumbest, who flamethrow your function to Funyons
Flame your crew quicker than Trump fucks his youngest
Now face the flame fuckers your fame and fate's done with


Jerusalem posted:

I use cameraman to describe the occupation, no gender was assumed but I apologize!

Even if it was a woman... why was there a camerawoman in the women's locker room? Why did Alexa and Mickie not notice this or the big microphone? I have many questions!

How do you even know it was a professional? Maybe it was Mandy Rose on her phone, sowing discord among the Raw Women's Division!

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Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


https://twitter.com/XThreeee/status/973397188813426693

Making up for falsely advertising Ronda and Brock by falsely advertising Nakamura

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