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Jolo

ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it
Girl, don't even give me your birthing pains sob story, I had triplets with no medication and the labor took 70 hours. When I went into labor, my husband was just entering the tv world for the first time in Persona 4 and by th etime the trips had arrived, he had discovered the killer and confessed his love to Chie.


Oh, Kaylee is reading at a third grade level now? How nice for her. My toddler Skylar has an opinion on the oxford comma, and it's nuanced.


Kevin made Soccer Captain? ... cute. Brian is capable of carrying up to 70,000 pounds (32,000 kg) of weapons, and has a typical combat range of more than 8,800 miles (14,080 km) without aerial refueling.


**this thread can also be boasts by babys about themselves**

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Jolo

ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it
Really happy to hear your water birth was a magical experience... our salt water birth was hellish but our son is going to be the baddest dude in the history of the world. We'll have to set up a play date so little Danzig can meet your "magical little angel."

Jolo

ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it
*Mother holding her hands out wide* I once had a baby thiiiiiisss big

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless

My baby was digitally replicated to make 3 of of the seven babies in the hit 1992 family comedy Baby Geniuses

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless

Well my child was chosen to be the annual sacrifice to our god.

Jolo

ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it
Your child is on the honor roll? How quaint. Our child brought honor to our clan by slaying 34 Mongolian invaders with a longbow.

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless

Oh that? That's Terminator. You see my son is such a successful part of the human resistance that robots are going back in time to stop his birth.

canyoneer
I only have canyoneyes for you
Oh, your son likes Daniel Tiger? My daughter wrote the whole Baby Margaret story arc from season 2 and beyond when she was 8 months old.

Android Blues


Ride The Gravitron posted:

Oh that? That's Terminator. You see my son is such a successful part of the human resistance that robots are going back in time to stop his birth.

spectres of autism

Jolo posted:

Your child is on the honor roll? How quaint. Our child brought honor to our clan by slaying 34 Mongolian invaders with a longbow.

lol

Doctor Dogballs

Drivin' the Fuck Truck from Hand Land to Pound Town without stopping at Suction Station

no but i seen a really big boast

Farecoal

???

byob baby posted:

hey guys just poo poo myself again

lol just lol if you're 2 months and still making GBS threads yourself

Jedrick

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

haha babies can't drive boats

Twenty Four

HAIKOOLIGAN

Jedrick posted:

haha babies can't drive boats

They can't even talk or anything like what's the point of babies?

Just get rid of them and move on to toddlers or even skip that!

I might consider a child if they can be close to the same age or older then me.

That kid would be amazing, and worthy of many boasts, having a great retirement plan and a well planned out portfolio, my well loved but older then me offspring!


Sig by Manifisto <3

Splatmaster


HAIKOOLIGAN

Lol that you had to wait for your kid to be BORN to find out they were mediocre at best.

When MY kid was conceived I got an email saying they were in the running for a Nobel. Category?

Future Shoulder of a Giant

BYOB fun all year long! Sigs by: Manifisto and Vanisher, awesome BYOB people!!

Jolo

ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it
For Sale: Baby Shoes, Worn by Baby NBA Dunk Competition Winner Slamjam Sheffield (360 Tomahawk slam from half court line)

PHIZ KALIFA

THUNDERDOME LOSER
HAIKULIGAN
I stand on one leg, rest the other on the top windowsill of my vantage point in the dallas schoolbook depository. eyeing down my mons venus, i line up my birth canal with my target and account for wind resistance and bullet drop. by popping into a squat, i hear that familiar ka-CHAK indicating a round has been chambered. today, my little bwendolyn makes history.

Splatmaster


HAIKOOLIGAN

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

I stand on one leg, rest the other on the top windowsill of my vantage point in the dallas schoolbook depository. eyeing down my mons venus, i line up my birth canal with my target and account for wind resistance and bullet drop. by popping into a squat, i hear that familiar ka-CHAK indicating a round has been chambered. today, my little bwendolyn makes history.

**fidgets with as-yet-unconcieved kid's Nobel nervously**

HERE. YOU deserve this more... That was some impressive... self-loading?

Yeah. We'll run with that

BYOB fun all year long! Sigs by: Manifisto and Vanisher, awesome BYOB people!!

PHIZ KALIFA

THUNDERDOME LOSER
HAIKULIGAN
from my position on the bottom of the orbital platform, i could see the cybercityscape stretch undifferentiated across the surface of Urth-69. my stomach rumbled, the flesh writhing with hungry young. i felt my boi-yoni stretch and disdend, heard the wet snapping as my anatomy rearranged itself. i suppose it hurt, but my body was a distant discomfort i watched, slack-faced, go about its wretched business. i saw it, myself, i suppose i was the one who pulled down my fishnets, the soaked-through panties i stole from senpai's laundry, i popped a squat upon the translucent hatch, and saw it gently unclench.

What horrors rained down upon that planet I cannot name. I only know the name which screams through every fried neuron with each successive cummies: Onii-san. Onii-san. Onii-san, I love you. Onii-san, I live for you. Onii-san, fill me with your hungry love. Onii-san.

PHIZ KALIFA

THUNDERDOME LOSER
HAIKULIGAN
my baby kills threads at a college level

Jolo

ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it
"My baby takes the morning train, he works from nine till five and then...."

Uh, gonna cut you off right there. My baby designed the magnetic levitation system that allows your baby's train to get to and from work safely and efficiently. My baby is a magnetic engineering pioneer and and he has changed the world as we know it.

google THIS


Me: Yes, well, it's been a lovely playgroup. I'd love to stay and continue to chat about our little ones' SAT scores, but if you'll excuse me, I have a 2:30 appointment to get shot in an alley so my son can become Batman.

Other Parents:

PHIZ KALIFA

THUNDERDOME LOSER
HAIKULIGAN
its good to start a college fund early, its even gooder to cryogenically freeze all ur organs on the off chance lil'spunky needs a spare ticker when he turns 69

rump buttman

I just wish I had time for one more bowl of chili

*overhearing two cub scout moms talking over a checkin table*

Mom 1. huh. I guess itís neat your little timmy took third at the council wide pinewood derby.

Mom 2. yeah, he worked really hrd on solidworks designing and hand sanded the contours

Mom 1. wow, I wish mark took more initiative.

*i run over and clumsily windmill slamming a pic of my little Susie chopping down a pine tree with her buck teeth *

HUSKY DILF

aggressively chill

Jolo posted:

For Sale: Baby Shoes, Worn by Baby NBA Dunk Competition Winner Slamjam Sheffield (360 Tomahawk slam from half court line)

the shortest nba dunk competition every competed

cda


Jolo posted:

For Sale: Baby Shoes, Worn by Baby NBA Dunk Competition Winner Slamjam Sheffield (360 Tomahawk slam from half court line)

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cda


google THIS posted:

Me: Yes, well, it's been a lovely playgroup. I'd love to stay and continue to chat about our little ones' SAT scores, but if you'll excuse me, I have a 2:30 appointment to get shot in an alley so my son can become Batman.

Other Parents:

Lol

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