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A Neurotic Corncob
Nov 12, 2016

A light wind swept over the corn, and all nature laughed in the sunshine.


get in on the ground floor for only the cost of like 4 virtual spaceships.

https://www.technologyreview.com/s/...-percent-fatal/

quote:

Nectome will preserve your brain, but you have to be euthanized first.

Next week, at YC’s “demo days,” Nectome’s cofounder, Robert McIntyre, is going to describe his technology for exquisitely preserving brains in microscopic detail using a high-tech embalming process. Then the MIT graduate will make his business pitch. As it says on his website: “What if we told you we could back up your mind?”

So yeah. Nectome is a preserve-your-brain-and-upload-it company. Its chemical solution can keep a body intact for hundreds of years, maybe thousands, as a statue of frozen glass. The idea is that someday in the future scientists will scan your bricked brain and turn it into a computer simulation. That way, someone a lot like you, though not exactly you, will smell the flowers again in a data server somewhere.

This story has a grisly twist, though. For Nectome’s procedure to work, it’s essential that the brain be fresh. The company says its plan is to connect people with terminal illnesses to a heart-lung machine in order to pump its mix of scientific embalming chemicals into the big carotid arteries in their necks while they are still alive (though anesthetized).

The company has consulted with lawyers familiar with California’s two-year-old End of Life Option Act, which permits doctor-assisted suicide for terminal patients, and believes its service will be legal. The product is “100 percent fatal,” says McIntyre. “That is why we are uniquely situated among the Y Combinator companies.”

quote:

Nectome’s storage service is not yet for sale and may not be for several years. Also still lacking is evidence that memories can be found in dead tissue. But the company has found a way to test the market. Following the example of electric-vehicle maker Tesla, it is sizing up demand by inviting prospective customers to join a waiting list for a deposit of $10,000, fully refundable if you change your mind.




why you'd have to be a goddamned retard to pass this up.

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Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017






Finally, the Fourth Stimpire is real!

BluesShaman
Apr 25, 2016

She wore Blue Velvet.


quote:

So far, 25 people have done so. One of them is Sam Altman, a 32-year-old investor who is one of the creators of the Y Combinator program. Altman tells MIT Technology Review he’s pretty sure minds will be digitized in his lifetime. “I assume my brain will be uploaded to the cloud,” he says.

Seems like a pretty safe assumption.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Lipstick Apathy

I literally just watched this Black Mirror episode. Neat!

Jason Sextro
Jul 30, 2003

Un alpha en développement depuis quatre ans? C'est incroyable!



Pff, this was predicted ages ago by noted scientific minds such as the writers of Buck Rogers and Captain Power.

1stGear
Jan 16, 2010

MEIDAY



College Slice

Like, the people who have agreed to this service understand that they won't be digitized into the cloud, right, Even assuming this actually all works out, it'll just be a perfect copy of them digitized.

Maybe you should have to play SOMA before signing the contract.

Mario death mask
Jan 24, 2016



Brainsuck Industries: Brains Sucked For $10,000




Brains sucked while you wait

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016



I think uploading your brain to AWS is great and if it kills you to do it I hope they lovingly nicknamed it "Darwinizing" instead of digitizing.

The Kins
Oct 2, 2004

Sector Effector


Only a few years late.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Lipstick Apathy

I hope the catch isn't that in order to be uploaded to The Cloud you have to understand how The Cloud works, because if so I'm hosed.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

Do you party?


Why the gently caress would people in the future want to run a simulation of you

"I just don't know how we're going to solve all these Future Problems", say the future men, "our opinions just aren't awesome enough; we don't have hot enough takes"

"I've got it!" says one, "Let's thaw out the brain of Bob Fuckwit from the 21st Century, see what he thinks"


Also, am I the only one who keeps reading it as "Netcome"?

Metal Geir Skogul
Jan 15, 2011





BluesShaman posted:

Seems like a pretty safe assumption.

Cloud-to-Butt strikes again.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Lipstick Apathy

When I was 13 I spent like twenty consecutive hours finding spots to clip through the world into the "shadow zone" in Grand Theft Auto III. Future Man is gonna be real bummed out when they fully simulate my brain in the cloud and I just start doing that again instead of helping them solve their food shortage crisis or whatever.

Jason Sextro
Jul 30, 2003

Un alpha en développement depuis quatre ans? C'est incroyable!



Beet Wagon posted:

When I was 13 I spent like twenty consecutive hours finding spots to clip through the world into the "shadow zone" in Grand Theft Auto III. Future Man is gonna be real bummed out when they fully simulate my brain in the cloud and I just start doing that again instead of helping them solve their food shortage crisis or whatever.

Likewise, they're gonna be mad when all I want to do is remake the Chris Elliott classics, Cabin Boy and Get A Life

Jst0rm
Sep 16, 2012


Grimey Drawer

why not. What do you have to lose?

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016



Beet Wagon posted:

I hope the catch isn't that in order to be uploaded to The Cloud you have to understand how The Cloud works, because if so I'm hosed.

Server... meshes.

It's infinite.

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016



If I could come back in the future, I'm sure I'd be as retarded as Fry was from Futurama. I'm just not good at the future and would screw it up.

This is why I want to digitize myself. Because I can't screw up enough today, but in the future I can really gently caress those guys up with problems.

Jst0rm
Sep 16, 2012


Grimey Drawer

I could see there being economic reason to let people wake up in digital selves at some point in the future. How much would it really cost? Goonswarm will have a whole new meaning though.

Hav
Dec 11, 2009



Taintrunner posted:

Finally, the Fourth Stimpire is real!

This is Stimpire 0.1

The Titanic posted:

If I could come back in the future, I'm sure I'd be as retarded as Fry was from Futurama.

Must....resist....

Hav
Dec 11, 2009



Foo Diddley posted:

Why the gently caress would people in the future want to run a simulation of you

Figuring out which junk they want to keep and what needs to be retired in 2038 because of the Unix epoch. I'm disappointed by the number of IT professionals in this thread not planning to have themselves frozen. Casuals.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

Do you party?


Hav posted:

Figuring out which junk they want to keep and what needs to be retired in 2038 because of the Unix epoch. I'm disappointed by the number of IT professionals in this thread not planning to have themselves frozen. Casuals.

"Not even our hyper-advanced AIs can figure out this garbage, yet our entire infrastructure depends on it"

"Good thing we kept all those greybeards in storage, huh"

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

Do you party?


They'll all be stored in a literal cavern of COBOL

Seal team 10
Mar 2, 2018

by FactsAreUseless


Nectome hardly knew him

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016



Hav posted:

Must....resist....

I set it up for you guys. Go ahead.

How Disgusting
Feb 21, 2018


Think I'll take my chances with the Devil.

Virtual Captain
Feb 20, 2017

Archive Priest of the Stimperial Order

Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.


A Neurotic Corncob posted:

why you'd have to be a goddamned retard to pass this up.

Now posting from a Cryotank


Hello World!

SpaceSDoorGunner
May 4, 2018



The downsides of what could happen to you if this turns out to work are, as anyone who has watched Black Mirror amor played SOMA knows, nearly infinite.

Plus the money you spent on the dumbest crowdfunding scheme to date

RattiRatto
Jun 26, 2014


quote:

Following the example of electric-vehicle maker Tesla, it is sizing up demand by inviting prospective customers to join a waiting list for a deposit of $10,000, fully refundable if you change your mind.

Is the pun intended
I guess it's a rhetorical question

Hav
Dec 11, 2009



SpaceSDoorGunner posted:

The downsides of what could happen to you if this turns out to work are, as anyone who has watched Black Mirror amor played SOMA knows, nearly infinite.

Freezing sci-fi is almost as bleak as the procession of horrors that we visit on our synthetic children.

Imagine being the mother line for tasty extinct vat-cloned spicy 'hummamti' kebabs.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012



College Slice

There is a great book by a former Alcor employee, Larry Johnson, that details how incompetent and cavalier that company was with the frozen heads and corpses in its care. No doubt these clowns are equally bad.

You know what you can get for $10,000? A really nice funeral with professional music and a delicious lunch afterwards.

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

I've hacked into the most secret government and corporate secrets.



AlbieQuirky posted:

There is a great book by a former Alcor employee, Larry Johnson, that details how incompetent and cavalier that company was with the frozen heads and corpses in its care. No doubt these clowns are equally bad.

You know what you can get for $10,000? A really nice funeral with professional music and a delicious lunch afterwards.

Or a couple of trashbags to put over the body when you put it in the dumpster and a $9,999 cocaine party

The Moon Monster
Dec 30, 2005
THIS CUSTOM TITLE WILL COME IN HANDY WHILE LURKING


AlbieQuirky posted:

There is a great book by a former Alcor employee, Larry Johnson, that details how incompetent and cavalier that company was with the frozen heads and corpses in its care. No doubt these clowns are equally bad.

You know what you can get for $10,000? A really nice funeral with professional music and a delicious lunch afterwards.

Yeah, these companies are generally all about the intake process and then skimp on the upkeep, so the odds of these pickled brains actually being taken care of until technology is sufficiently advanced seem rather low. There's also the "why would the futuremen care about reviving you" problem. I'm guessing people who buy into this are banking on some post-scarcity utopia where they've got no reason not to revive you, so it's just another flavor of nerd-rapture.

TheGreatEvilKing
Mar 28, 2016



I smell a lot of Frank Tipler in this.

Or Philip Jose Farmer's "Ethicals".

Neither of which are really practical.

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

No need to sign, we'll take care of that.


Lipstick Apathy

Has anyone been dumb enough to use this yet?

Hav
Dec 11, 2009



super sweet best pal posted:

Has anyone been dumb enough to use this yet?

They haven't reported back, at least.

monkeytek
Jun 7, 2010

It wasn't an ELE that wiped out the backer funds. It was Tristan Timothy Taylor.


I'm in, eagerly expecting to be resurrected into an incredibly buff and hot body to help solve future problems by banging super hot future women due to the unexpected feminization of all future males.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Lipstick Apathy

gonna fuckin wreck these nerds after my head gets put on a super strong robot body in the future. definitely not gonna end up thawing out in a dumpster the second the economy takes a downswing

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Hav
Dec 11, 2009



Beet Wagon posted:

gonna fuckin wreck these nerds after my head gets put on a super strong robot body in the future. definitely not gonna end up thawing out in a dumpster the second the economy takes a downswing

You'll get cloned like Dolly and eaten by aliens.

(Do not steal, Black Mirror)

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