• Coach held an in-ring sitdown Q&A session with Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey on one side, HHH and Stephanie McMahon on the other. It included questions posted on twitter by fans. It was even worse than it sounds. At the end they did the traditional Wrestlemania photo op that they have never once ever done before, and as they all faced off Steph maintaining hard camera direction constantly. Ronda refused to shake Steph's hand, HHH threw Kurt out of the ring, Ronda started to choke HHH and Steph grabbed her from behind for one of the worst table spots you'll ever see.
  
  
• Bayley defeated Sonya Deville eventually after a long, drawn out match. They got like 3 notes into her music before Mandy Rose jumped her and they started putting their boots in. Sasha ran down and saved Bayley, and Bayley returned the favor when Sonya attacked Sasha from behind. Bayley and Sasha argued over whether Bayley needed help, Sasha grabbed her by the mouth and Bayley laid her out with a forearm. Sonya and Mandy returned and destroyed both.
  
  
• The Miz joined the commentary table for Finn Balor vs Seth Rollins. He made constant reference to his newborn daughter () and insisted he was going to retain the IC Title just like he retained the World Title when he defended it against Cena in the Main Event of Wrestlemania 27.
  
  
• Seth Rollins defeated Finn Balor in a really, really, really good match. Seth was finally able to hit the Curbstomp to get the win, but both guys looked great and even the Miz was getting into the match on commentary.
  
  
• After an incredibly long Roman/Brock video package, Kurt Angle approached Paul Heyman backstage to address concerns about the Wrestlemania main event being put in jeopardy if Roman and Brock clashed tonight. Heyman broke out laughing when Kurt said his big concern was for Brock. Heyman was right to laugh, since Roman has had his rear end handed to him the last two weeks by Brock.
  
  
• The Bar came to the ring to insist that even if they didn't know Braun's tag team partner, it didn't matter. Braun would have to tag in at some point in the match, and his partner would let him down because they are the superior team. Braun came out and said they were right that he doesn't play well with others, but he has gotten a partner since management says he needs one. The Bar called out his partner to show his face, and Braun agreed provided his partner could face one of them. They agreed, and Braun went to the back to get him, warning them his partner was alot like him. Braun returned with his partner... Brains Strowman! Bearing a suspicious resemblance to Braun only with glasses and a torn up white shirt, Brains beat the poo poo out of the Bar.
  
  
• Goldust did a pretaped promo about entering the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, which was interupted by Woken Matt who also threw his hat into the ring. He also revealed he and Goldust would have a match tonight.
  
  
• Matt Hardy defeated Goldust, then went outside and raved happily to the Andre the Giant Memorial trophy and embraced it.
  
  
• Alexa Bliss and Mickie James did a backstage promo making fun of Nia's weight. It's been said before, but using Alexa - who suffered serious body-image health issues when she was younger - is really disgusting even on top of how disgusting it is to be doing a fat-shaming gimmick at all.
  
  
• Cena came out and said he'd been wrong, he was out of time and there had been no answer from Taker so now he would not have a Wrestlemania match. He acknowledged all the many ways he could have got a Mania match but insisted doing that would have taken away a spot from a more deserving full-time wrestler, considering all the opportunies he'd already had and lost at various PPVs. He'd called out Taker as his last chance for a match, but since that wasn't happening he would go to Mania as a fan, and he would be proud to do it because Wrestlemania didn't need him. He was proud of the stars who were going to make the show great like Finn Balor, Daniel Bryan, AJ Styles, Rusev, Elias and all the women. He apologized for getting the fans' hopes up and went through the cities he'd been calling out Taker in, then noted he hadn't tried in Atlanta yet and got the crowd all worked up in masterful style.
  
  
• When Undertaker still didn't answer, Cena said he was disappointed but only in Taker who hadn't had the common decency to answer his unsolicited and aggressive demands. He claimed Taker left his hat in the ring but his balls at home, and after listening to the crowd chant his name for awhile his music started playing and he left the ring and headed up the ramp.
  
  

  Aphrodite posted:

  
  

  
  
• Roman told Kurt backstage he didn't care about Kurt's attempted peace treaty ahead of Wrestlemania, because if Brock disrespected him in any way he was going to go to the ring (and presumably get his rear end kicked yet again?)
  
  
• Elias did a concert running down Atlanta, then defeated Heath Slater quickly in a singles match.
  
  
• Braun was walking backstage when he bumped into Curt Hawkins wearing a PICK ME BRAUN shirt. Hawkins asked if he could be Braun's tag partner at Wrestlemania, so of course Braun asked what his Win/Loss record was. Hawkins admitted it "wasn't great" but said this could be his big break. Braun tossed him through a wall leaving a giant hole behind, and said that was his big break.
  
  
• Nia did a sitdown interview about Alexa Bliss' comments, and said she wasn't going to put up with that poo poo and she had nothing to be ashamed of or embarassed by. Alexa was an insecure little girl, and Nia would squash her at Wrestlemania like a bug.
  
  
• Asuka and Dana (!) defeated Alexa Bliss and Mickie James, with Asuka getting.... THE HOT TAG! and submitting Mickie. Alexa jumped her from behind after the match and she and Mickie put the boots to Asuka and took out Dana. Nia ran to the ring and got her hands on a terrified Alexa, but Mickie saved her. Nia murdered Mickie while Alexa ran up the ramp.
  
  
• Kurt met Paul and Brock backstage and again begged Heyman not to start something. Heyman assured him all he was going to do was speak positively about Brock.
  
  
• Kurt sent a number of wrestlers out to block the ramp after Brock and Heyman made their way to the ring, to prevent Roman (who has come from the crowd the last two weeks) from coming down.
  
  
• Heyman noted that at Mania, the only two guys to ever beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania will be meeting in the main event of this year's Wrestlemania. He claimed everybody was sure Roman was going to beat Brock for the title, but the fact was that Brock was going to beat Roman and retain the title. If by some miracle Roman defeated Brock, then you would never see Brock or Paul on Monday Night Raw ever again.
  
  
• Heyman went on a tirade about how Brock legitimately is the best in the world and nobody in WWE or anywhere else can stand up to him. Roman was no exception, and after Wrestlemania he would have to go home and face his family and admit defeat. He would be nothing more than another notch on Lesnar's belt.
  
  
• Roman showed up after Heyman said he was Brock's bitch. The wrestlers on the ramp wouldn't let him past, so Roman grabbed a mic and told them not to stand between him and "that part-time bastard". They parted ways and let Roman through. The crowd actually legitimately started a,"LET'S GO ROMAN!" chant which must have absolutely delighted Vince McMahon.
  
  
• Brock and Roman faced off in the ring, but as they circled Brock suddenly slipped out of the ring, grabbed his belt and... then grabbed a chair and went BACK into the ring. Roman hit a Superman Punch on Lesnar as he tried to swing the chair at Brock, then two more, then a fourth as Lesnar managed to stagger back to his feet. Brock continually held onto the chair but was knocked down again by a 5th Superman Punch and lost the chair.
  
  
• Roman grabbed the belt and held it high, with a mixed (but overall more positive to my ears) reaction from the crowd... and then got F5ed by Brock
  
  
• Brock strutted up the ramp with the belt over his shoulder, Heyman laughing at his side, as Roman finally managed to recover from the F5 and sat looking pained in the ring.
  

• Daniel Bryan opened the show and brought out Shane McMahon, who they claim is medically cleared to wrestle at Wrestlemania. Shane put over Bryan big and congratulated him for his return, and both apologized for the antagonism that has been between them over the last few months. Rather than shake hands like Shane suggested, Bryan got the crowd to chant for them to hug. Bryan warned Kevin and Sami that they're in trouble because Bryan and Shane are on the same page.
  
  
• Charlotte got her win back from Nattie, with a repeat of the finish that previously saw Nattie win. Carmella ran out to cash in her Money in the Bank briefcase, but Charlotte kicked the case out of the ring and then got rolled up for a pin by Nattie but managed to counter it into the Figure 8 leglock. After the match, Asuka came to the ring to taunt Charlotte, who cut her off to ask if Asuka was ready for HER?
  
  
• In a pre-taped interview, AJ Styles acknowledged that he got emotional and Shinsuke Nakamura thought he could take advantage of that, but AJ considered his emotions a strength. He warned Nakamura they were a long way from the Tokyo Dome, and he was going to beat Shinsuke.
  
  
• Rusev defeated Jinder Mahal, ignoring Sunil Singh's attempts to distract him. Afterwards, Orton showed up and RKOed Rusev. English attacked Orton but Roode, who had been on commentary, saved him and set him to be RKOed himself.
  
  
• Shinsuke did a pre-taped interview in which he reminded AJ Styles that he'd come to America purely because he wanted to go to Wrestlemania, and he didn't intend to lose his title match there.
  
  
• New Day and the Usos met backstage during a shill for the WWE Network. As they were having a good time, the Bludgeon Brothers arrived and, in a truly bizarre segment, attacked the camera with their sledgehammers.
  
  
• Baron Corbin, Ziggler, Primo Colon and Mojo Rawley defeated Tye Dillinger, The Fashion Police and Zack Ryder in a match largely used as a teaser for the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Corbin got the pin on Fandango after most everybody got thrown out over the top rope, which didn't eliminate them but the commentators kept reminding us that this would be an elimination in the ARMBAR.
  
  
• Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin were doing a backstage promo when they were cut off by the suddeny arrival of Kevin and Sami in the ring. They grabbed mics and cut promos running down Bryan and Shane, promising to destroy them and send them back damaged and ruined forever to their families. Their mics were cut off so they started to leave, but then Bryan and Shane came out to taunt them back, with Bryan telling the crowd to take photos of the historic occassion of their last ever Smackdown appearance, and Shane leading the crowd in singing goodbye to them.
  
  
• AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin in the main event. AJ pinned Gable, making a point of NOT tagging in Nakamura but standing directly next to him to hit the Phenomenal Forearm. As AJ left, he and Nakamura were exchanging looks when Shelton suddenly jumped Shinsuke from behind. As Shinsuke fought Shelton off, AJ returned and faked out Shinsuke beautifully with a faux-Forearm, then patted a horrified Shinsuke on the head and left the ring beaming as Shinsuke fumed. This ruled.
  

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 03:02 on Apr 4, 2018

BrigadierSensible fucked around with this message at 05:20 on Apr 3, 2018