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Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008


I had a coach growing up who was not one to encourage his players. He was a bit of a yeller and always came down hard on kids, and those most you'd get is a begrudging "Not Bad" if you happen to do something well.. I think it was just before high school, but one of his favorite turn of phrase's when you did something good or successfully demonstrated a technique or play was "Way to go X, you might be the fastest retard at the special Olympics" delivered in a very deadpan manner with a southern-drawl.

I've used "Like a fat kid loves/needs cake" since I was a kid and I have no idea where I picked it up from. Something like "I love you the way a fat kid loves cake" or " I need a drink like a fat kid needs cake". I think it may have been 50 cents - 21 questions.

A recent one i've been hearing is something "goes down easier than a fat kid on a see-saw" which i've heard to describe various women and liquor which i find quite LOL worthy.

Anyway do you have any fun or interesting sayings or expressions? Regional discussion encouraged....


I heard a guy from jersey describe women as "Bittys" which i thought was weird....like how you'd use chicks or something.

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godogg
Dec 29, 2008


My dear, sweet mother is the only person, until very, very recently, I had ever heard say "cold as a witch's tit"

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010



" I need this parade like a hole in the head."

- some guy

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson
Jun 26, 2005

Feels good man.



“Slower than a Christmas retard.”

Koyaanisgoatse
Apr 23, 2014



"dumb gay retard with a tiny stupid wiener"

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?


Koyaanisgoatse posted:

"dumb gay retard with a tiny stupid wiener"

not the name change thread

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

If you have a tiny dog you should be arrested and the dog placed on a tiny dog rocket and fired into the sun!!!

Ramrod XTreme

That joke was as painfully unfunny as several subforums on a dead gay comedy website.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008



Grimey Drawer

Koyaanisgoatse posted:

"dumb gay retard with a tiny stupid wiener"

yeah. we all know Lowtax

Papa Emeritus III
Jul 7, 2017

[A MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

Deal with it.

My grandfather had an assortment of euphemisms.

"Hotter than a popcorn fart."

"Running your mouth like a duck in huckleberry season."

"Get inside. Its gonna rain like piss out of a boot."


I have no idea how he came up with the last one. grandpa.

extra row of teeth
Apr 27, 2007

Float like a butterfly, sting like a Beerus


godogg posted:

My dear, sweet mother is the only person, until very, very recently, I had ever heard say "cold as a witch's tit"

My dad says this! My mom's favorite saying is "like white on rice and ugly on a gorilla".

My grandma (RIP as of this January ) would say "A bushel and a peck" when talking about how much she loves me.

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008


What is huckleberry season

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

If you have a tiny dog you should be arrested and the dog placed on a tiny dog rocket and fired into the sun!!!

Ramrod XTreme

extra row of teeth posted:

My dad says this! My mom's favorite saying is "like white on rice and ugly on a gorilla".

My grandma (RIP as of this January ) would say "A bushel and a peck" when talking about how much she loves me.

I love you - a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck!

Old timey song lyrics. Now you know

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008



Grimey Drawer

Waroduce posted:

What is huckleberry season

blue dog season

gobbagool
Feb 5, 2016

Forum Socialists angry that my Christmas bonus exceeded their gross annual salary. They did, to their credit, have the courage of their convictions to buy me this sweet AV! Sorry to their kids that they won't eat this week as a result.


Doctor Rope

Waroduce posted:

I had a coach growing up who was not one to encourage his players. He was a bit of a yeller and always came down hard on kids, and those most you'd get is a begrudging "Not Bad" if you happen to do something well.. I think it was just before high school, but one of his favorite turn of phrase's when you did something good or successfully demonstrated a technique or play was "Way to go X, you might be the fastest retard at the special Olympics" delivered in a very deadpan manner with a southern-drawl.

I've used "Like a fat kid loves/needs cake" since I was a kid and I have no idea where I picked it up from. Something like "I love you the way a fat kid loves cake" or " I need a drink like a fat kid needs cake". I think it may have been 50 cents - 21 questions.

A recent one i've been hearing is something "goes down easier than a fat kid on a see-saw" which i've heard to describe various women and liquor which i find quite LOL worthy.

Anyway do you have any fun or interesting sayings or expressions? Regional discussion encouraged....


I heard a guy from jersey describe women as "Bittys" which i thought was weird....like how you'd use chicks or something.

“As wrong as two boys loving” – Deep South, early 90s

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006
HOWDY FOLKS, I'M AN OBNOXIOUS RETARD INCAPABLE OF SHUTTING THE FUCK UP

I've used "like a hobo on a ham sandwich" before.

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?


Big Beef City posted:

That joke was as painfully unfunny as several subforums on a dead gay comedy website.

I'm glad you liked it

extra row of teeth
Apr 27, 2007

Float like a butterfly, sting like a Beerus


Big Beef City posted:

I love you - a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck!

Old timey song lyrics. Now you know

Hah, that's pretty interesting. She was born in '28 so a song from that time sticking in her head that long makes sense. She even still said it a decade into battling dementia, right up to when she passed on. Crazy how the mind works.

Another one from my mom is "romance without finance has no chance", relating to how money stresses can tear apart a relationship. The closest song I can find to that is a Temptations song from the 70s, and she's a black woman in her 60s so that makes sense too...

Oh gently caress does that mean our generation is going to be quoting platitudes from Britney Spears songs when we're old?

Booger Presley
Aug 6, 2008



Pillbug

My friend, upon seeing a buck-toothed woman stated, "She could eat corn through a picket fence."

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008



Grimey Drawer

Booger Presley posted:

My friend, upon seeing a buck-toothed woman stated, "She could eat corn through a picket fence."

i cannot wait until Carson Wens comes back.

The Dennis System
Aug 4, 2014



“Hotter than a pig’s belly on a Mississippi hush puppy.”

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006
HOWDY FOLKS, I'M AN OBNOXIOUS RETARD INCAPABLE OF SHUTTING THE FUCK UP

Big Beef City posted:

I love you - a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck!

Old timey song lyrics. Now you know

That songs been on a commercial for insurance or something for awhile now.

Gwamp
Apr 18, 2003

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,

Ramrod XTreme

"Busier than a one legged man in an rear end kicking contest" "She looks like someone broke an ugly stick over her head" "Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra" "She could suck a golf ball through a garden hose"

Labes for days
Dec 14, 2010

His third chybut sack swelled.


godogg posted:

My dear, sweet mother is the only person, until very, very recently, I had ever heard say "cold as a witch's tit"

I prefer "colder than a witch's titty in a brass bra" myself.

Around here all the watermen say "dee by Gawd cap'n." What does it mean? Who loving knows but they say it.

Kak
Sep 27, 2002



I had a racist neighbor that said "I'm sweating harder than a friend of the family at an election" when it was hot outside. I was giddy when one of his daughters had a mixed race baby.

nextlevelstart
Feb 26, 2015


You can't surprise sex the willing

504
Feb 2, 2016



Dumber than a fucken stinkyhole at the horse fucker surprise sex hotel.

redm
Feb 20, 2016

M


Sugartime Jones

i heard people saying "yolo" for a couple years that was weird

Untrustable
Mar 16, 2009

Do you like it? It's haunted.


I describe things done fast and efficiently as "quicker than a knife fight in a phone booth."

EX250 Type R
Mar 7, 2013



https://www.teamdan69.com


"Like old people gently caress" when describing how slow someone or something can be

"two cock garage" used interchangeably with mouth

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.


OP, you are dumber than a bag of hammers

The Sexual Shiite
Apr 11, 2007


Hotter than two bugs fuckin in a wool sock.

Matlack Radio
Jun 2, 2006
A VOTE FOR GIANT CRAB IS A VOTE FOR A BIGGER CRAB

"Horse feathers!" for when I can't say "Bullshit!"

"Go stick your ear in the ocean." for when I can't say "Go gently caress yourself."

"How now brown cow." for when I finally accomplish a task I have been failing at for seven minutes. Even better if the source of the frustration is an inanimate object that I can now scream at.

redm
Feb 20, 2016

M


Sugartime Jones

sharp as a sack of wet mice

Slugnoid
Jun 23, 2006

up the bum no babies



IFRANKSTON


Nap Ghost

playing the gatorade saxophone

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008


Untrustable posted:

I describe things done fast and efficiently as "quicker than a knife fight in a phone booth."

Oooo I like this

Obsidianheart
Apr 25, 2017

Throwing off the shadow of a better man.

One that I know, but don't know where I picked it up from is:

"More issues than a magazine stand" to describe a crazy person.

Slugnoid
Jun 23, 2006

up the bum no babies



IFRANKSTON


Nap Ghost

I'm dryer than a nun's stinkyhole

Slugnoid
Jun 23, 2006

up the bum no babies



IFRANKSTON


Nap Ghost

face like a smacked arse

Malcolm Turnbeug
Mar 21, 2018



It’s funny because I used to say stuff like fastest runner at the paralympics but growing up I realised those people had more joy in life and their bodies than I’ll ever dream of

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Malcolm Turnbeug
Mar 21, 2018



Also ‘suck the dick off a cold one’ classic colloquialism for drinking a beer

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