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‘I’m gonna gently caress the goannas out of her’
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Apr 16, 2018 13:18
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Malcolm Turnbeug posted:Also ‘suck the dick off a cold one’ classic colloquialism for drinking a beer I've drank alot of beer in my life but this is mind of suspect bro
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Apr 16, 2018 13:19
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Flat out like a lizard with work/home balance issues
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Apr 16, 2018 13:19
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this thread sucks go poo poo in the ocean OP
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Apr 16, 2018 13:21
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a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.
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Apr 16, 2018 13:26
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It's really cold outside, cold enough to "freeze the balls off a brass monkey."
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Apr 16, 2018 13:45
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Shiver me timbers.
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Apr 16, 2018 13:54
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My dad used this one on me in front of my first girlfriend as a young teenager the first time she ever met them, before we could even drive, we were just going to go for a bike ride and maybe get some icecream at the dairy near her house. My mom asked what we had plans for and I said "I'm not sure mom, probably just hang out, go for a ride." And dad piped in "Can always go take her to watch the submarine races." "GARY!" My hometown displays a genuine WWII submarine because they used to build subs there during the war, even though it's on the great lakes. I figured the joke was dirty, but also figured it was tied in to some local history thing. I was wrong. It just means exactly what you'd guess it means. It was twice as good because my dad has a reeeal dry sense of humor and would probably have made that joke, in that situation again, 1:1000 times had the wheel of time re-spun.
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Apr 16, 2018 14:33
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"Viagra makes will make your dick so hard a cat couldn't scratch it"
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Apr 16, 2018 14:34
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Big Beef City posted:It just means exactly what you'd guess it means. Your dad told you to gently caress your first girlfriend in the rear end?
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Apr 16, 2018 14:57
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“Hornier than a peach orchard sow.”
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Apr 16, 2018 15:02
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Dead rear end
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Apr 16, 2018 15:10
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Tough as a two dollar steak
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Apr 16, 2018 15:38
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Big Beef City posted:
I...I can't guess what it means. To contribute, the Army is great for these. We had the extended version of 'two boys fuckin'" "Wrong as two boys fuckin' on the White House lawn with Bill Clinton looking out and jerkin' off" My wife heard me say it with Obama and yelled at me, "You can't just keep updating it for each new president!" The hell I can't! Although I use Mike Pence now. Others... "You move like pond water/old people gently caress/two turtles fuckin'!" "hosed up like a football bat" "Like a monkey fuckin' a football" <X> is: "ate up/ate the gently caress up" "a poo poo sandwich" "a clusterfuck/Charlie Foxtrot" "He's on that like stank on poo poo/like a fat girl on a donut." "Well ain't that the turd topping on the poo poo sundae?"
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Apr 16, 2018 16:00
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"Beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick" - meaning that it's better than nothing. "If it was a snake it would've bit you" - it's close and obvious and how are you so blind as to not see it. "a box of rocks" - used to describe any kind of junk.
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Apr 16, 2018 16:05
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Oh that reminds me, if you were bad at something my coach would say it "looked like two retards trying to hump a doorknob" Not sure what's up with that one Fat girl on a donut is great lol
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Apr 16, 2018 16:05
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bitterandtwisted posted:a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle. Or a face like a satchel full of spanners. A oval office hair as a unit of measurement. So stupid he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the sole. Wetter than an otter’s pockets. Harder than chinese algebra. A face like a plasterer’s radio (to describe someone on the receiving end of bukkake).
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Apr 16, 2018 16:30
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Whenever I ate dinner at my grandparents they'd tell us to "“redd up” when it was time to clear the table and do dishes. I haven't heard anyone my age use that expression.
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Apr 16, 2018 16:30
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My aunt complained about there being to little oregano on a pizza that was served. “They are really Semitic with the oregano”. She was oblivious to the fact that Semitic refers to Jews. Old anti Semitic slang for stingy she picked up during her youth that she never reflected over. This was in Portuguese btw.
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Apr 16, 2018 16:32
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Uglier than a hatful of assholes. As mad as a cut snake. All over the place like a mad woman's poo poo. As dry as a dead dingo's donger.
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Apr 16, 2018 17:29
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My dad recently said "What do you mean we, Do you have a turd in your pocket?"
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Apr 16, 2018 18:01
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this sucks more than a Taiwanese trap I'm more Buzzed than Lightyear
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Apr 16, 2018 18:16
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That guy would gently caress a pile of rocks if you told him there was a snake in it.
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Apr 16, 2018 18:25
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"playing grab-rear end" is always a favorite
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Apr 16, 2018 18:43
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The_end posted:My dad recently said "What do you mean we, Do you have a turd in your pocket?" I've always heard it with a mouse in your pocket rather than a turd.
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Apr 16, 2018 18:44
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i like using the term "going to town on" when anything is done with gusto, especially if it's a guy jacking off
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Apr 16, 2018 18:45
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In law school I leaned heavily on using “He/She thinks they’re King poo poo of gently caress Mountain” whenever I met someone who thought they were God’s gift to the legal world.
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Apr 16, 2018 19:44
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a peck of pickled peckers posted:In law school I leaned heavily on using “He/She thinks they’re King poo poo of gently caress Mountain” whenever I met someone who thought they were God’s gift to the legal world. so most of your classmates?
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Apr 16, 2018 19:45
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"I have to piss like a racehorse" is a pretty common one in my house, not sure why racehorses are the go-to animal related to the urgent need to take a leak. Also I heard "she's tore up from the floor up" from the movie Juno and it makes me laugh every time, but I rarely get a good chance to use it so idk.
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Apr 16, 2018 20:05
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Sapper posted:I...I can't guess what it means. oh yeah that reminds me "hosed up as a soup sandwich"
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Apr 16, 2018 20:22
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Koyaanisgoatse posted:so most of your classmates? Like I said, I leaned into it pretty heavily
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Apr 16, 2018 20:22
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"More lost than a blind guy in a gunfight".
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Apr 16, 2018 20:24
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Rock out with your cock out
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Apr 16, 2018 20:24
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nig nog tryna get a han bizzy i still dont know what that means
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Apr 16, 2018 20:41
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Tomato Burger posted:I've always heard it with a mouse in your pocket rather than a turd. His dad personalized it
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Apr 16, 2018 20:46
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I heard one long ago that stuck with me. It speaks to a dangerous/scary/weird situation wherein the subject of said situation is confused or frightened and "doesn't know whether to poo poo or go blind".
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Apr 16, 2018 20:50
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I used to teach EFL and one Russian aphorism I love, has a similar meaning to "bringing coal to Newcastle," basically "to do what is needless." The phrase itself is "To bring on samovar to Rutevisk." Rutevisk being the city that makes a shitton of samovars. Don't bring samovars to Rutevisk. Is like wear hoodie of czar we execute, to execution. Be not this guy.
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Apr 16, 2018 21:41
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veiled boner fuel posted:Rock out with your cock out Jam out with your clam out.
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Apr 17, 2018 01:40
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Queerer than a snake's armpit Queerer than a hockey ball Queerer than a football bat Don't knock it til you rock it Don't deny it til you try it Don't dip your pen in company ink Don't be a dummy, do it on her tummy Took off like a dog with a dropped ham On it like a bonnet
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Apr 17, 2018 02:39
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Go poo poo with your tits
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Apr 17, 2018 02:40
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