Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«8 »
  • Locked thread
Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

Holy crap. That could have gone so terribly. D Let's stay the gently caress away from the goddamn bird.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


Cannon_Fodder posted:

Holy crap. That could have gone so terribly. D Let's stay the gently caress away from the goddamn bird.

Voice of reason. D

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007

Alcohol...
It's the water of life.



Grimey Drawer

D

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

A roc and a hard place


PoultryGeist
Feb 26, 2013

Crystals?

A, but also be prepared the use the waves to our advantage

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


PoultryGeist posted:

A, but also be prepared the use the waves to our advantage

The sea tried to kill us once already. We should never give it the chance again.

Im saying we should PTSD ourselves a phobia of water.

Telsa Cola
Aug 19, 2011

No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface


Votes Closes in 2 hours

Current Vote Count
Choice D: 5 votes
Choice A: 4 votes
Choice C: 3 votes
Choice B: 1 vote
Write in option to spend time finding clams to feed bird 1 vote

Telsa Cola fucked around with this message at May 16, 2018 around 01:35

Not Alex
Oct 9, 2012


A

PoultryGeist
Feb 26, 2013

Crystals?

Outrail posted:

The sea tried to kill us once already. We should never give it the chance again.

Im saying we should PTSD ourselves a phobia of water.

It caught us by surprise, we have to show the ocean we aren't afraid of it

malbogio
Jan 19, 2015


C

Telsa Cola
Aug 19, 2011

No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface


With that last a vote we are now tied between A and D. I might leave the vote open for a few hours past the original deadline to see if someone breaks the tie.

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?







Switching from E to A

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb




D

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001

Buncha slack-jawed faggots around here

A

Telsa Cola
Aug 19, 2011

No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface


Vote closed. Choice A wins

Update tomorrow.

Telsa Cola
Aug 19, 2011

No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface




The Sun and the Shattered One continue their slow trips across the sky. Spending a few moments gazing at the earthen ramps lining the cliffs and the detritus and debris strewn across this section of the beach you contemplate your options. With your hands bruised by your close shave with the bird and with your body worn and sore from your hours of work you decide to head home in the most direct, and hopefully easy, route possible. You are still trembling from your last encounter but you hope that you can remain unnoticed by bird or failing that, that you can feed it clams to distract it while you move past it. Before you set off you attempt to collect another clam to make up for the one you lost, but your bruised fingers are not up for the task, forcing you stop after a few failed attempts. Hopefully Jub won't notice the missing clam.



Gathering your bag, you set off. The journey begins slowly, the necessity of holding a mostly filled bag and navigating the various obstacles present on the beach means that you must take care where you place your feet on the slippery sand and rocks lest you slip or trip. In a way this works your advantage, slowing your pace and forcing you to stay behind the bird and out of sight. As the tide slowly continues to come , previously dry and navigable areas become more and more treacherous. In places such as these you learn the value the various stones and logs as stepping stones, allowing you to navigate the flooded areas with little additional time lost. You notice the bird taking great care to avoid the tide, immediately stopping what it is doing to stride away from the water if it is encroaching on it. Several times during these retreats the bird has noticed you and stared, freezing you in place, before it loses interest and goes back to foraging.



You and the bird eventually make it to a curved portion of coastline which you recognize a bit more, the trails of smoke appearing over the trees and brush announcing that the village is just around the bend. You have managed to mostly avoid the birds attention up to this point, sticking behind it and making most of your progress while its distracted with feeding. The past few times it has noticed you, mostly when it was retreating from the water, it has ignored you after a few tense moments of staring. With this in mind you attempt to move past the bird while it's feeding, hoping it will continue to leave you alone. Clutching your bag tightly to your chest you wait. The bird spots something in the sand and it's head goes down. You make your move. Moving along side the edge of the beach you overtake and pass the bird, trembling all the while. By the time the bird's head comes back up you are a few arm lengths ahead of it. It notices you, stares a bit longer then normal, then continues foraging. You continue moving while its head is down, keeping your eyes on the bird while you move so that there are no surprises. For a time this works well, and you are able to increase the distance between you and the bird to something you are more comfortable with. You soon make it to the outermost portion of the bend and the village is almost in sight.

But then you slip up, literally. While you are moving and watching the bird one of your feet finds a particularly slippery rock and your foot slides out from under you. As you and your bag hit the sand several of the clams slam together and make a loud clinking and cracking noise. The bird's head shoots up and it stares at your bag. For a moment you think that the bird will ignore you like it had done so many times before. Your hopes fall as the bird begins to walk down the beach towards you, it's head locked on the bag. The distance between you is enough that it will take the bird several moments to reach you if you remain still.



What now? You are fairly tired and frightened by the bird due to your recent encounter, but you know the village is almost within reach.

A: Yell for help but elect to remain still. You are close enough the village that you are sure someone will hear you, even if they can not quite see you.

B: Grab the bag, yell for help and run towards the village by running along the shore. You think you might just be able to make it into the village boundaries before the bird.

C: Grab the bag, yell for help and run towards the village using the tide as cover. You realize this will slow you down but the bird seems to have avoided the tide before...

D: Grab the bag, empty a few clams out and run to the village. You hope the clams will distract the bird.

E: Grab the bag, empty a few clams out and run to the village by using the tide as cover. You hope the clams will distract the bird and if not it seems to avoid the water.

F: Empty the entire bag and run to the village. You hope all the clams will be enough to distract and fill the bird.

G: Empty the entire bag and run to the village using the tide as cover.

As always write ins are welcome.

Vote closes at 8pm on Friday

Telsa Cola fucked around with this message at May 17, 2018 around 05:31

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

No need to sign, we'll take care of that.


Lipstick Apathy

C

John_A_Tallon
Nov 22, 2000

Oh my! Check out that mitre!


C. Into the tide!

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007



Yam Slacker

Keep your eyes on the bird and calmly walk back to the village without panicking, yelling, running or losing clams.

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007

Alcohol...
It's the water of life.



Grimey Drawer

AJ_Impy posted:

Keep your eyes on the bird and calmly walk back to the village without panicking, yelling, running or losing clams.

No sudden movements.

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

AJ_Impy posted:

Keep your eyes on the bird and calmly walk back to the village without panicking, yelling, running or losing clams.

Modifying this:

Also drop a large clam to buy yourself time. Maybe the bird isn't smart enough to know there's more in the bag.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


Cannon_Fodder posted:

Modifying this:

Also drop a large clam to buy yourself time. Maybe the bird isn't smart enough to know there's more in the bag.

This. It heard clam, it knows there is clam in the bag, dropping a clam means there is a clam right there, it'll want to eat clam and then rethink what is going on. By then we're gone. It doesn't look like a predator, no locking teeth etc, so it's used to eating small prey and it shouldn't have a persuit instinct with regard to larger animals.

Jossar
Apr 2, 2018


Plan Cannon Fodder

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

A roc and a hard place


Jossar posted:

Plan Cannon Fodder

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001

Buncha slack-jawed faggots around here

Plan Cannon Fodder

PyroDwarf
Aug 24, 2010


PlanClam Cannon Fodder

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007



Yam Slacker

There's a reason I specified 'Without losing clams'. We do not want it seeing us as a meal ticket.

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

AJ_Impy posted:

There's a reason I specified 'Without losing clams'. We do not want it seeing us as a meal ticket.

I'm not at all interested in day 2, if on day 1 we end up birdmurdered.

Not Alex
Oct 9, 2012


Just throw a clam and make a break for it. It clearly reacts to the noise of then hitting stuff.

Telsa Cola
Aug 19, 2011

No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface


Vote ends in 3 hours

Current vote count

Clam Plan Cannon Fodder: 6 votes

Plan Aj Impy: 2 votes

Option C: 2 votes

malbogio
Jan 19, 2015


C.

The bird isnt going to forget about the bag of clams or be intimidated by us staring it down. I doubt it would be intimidated by an adult, let alone a kid it just mauled. It also already knows we drop food when attacked.

Throwing the clam might work if were quick enough. But wed need to pull the clam out, wind up, and toss before it closes the distance. Were tired and clumsy, the bird is fast and unlikely to hesitate. Im not confident that we can finish the distraction before its on us.

When the bird inevitably rushes us Id suggest immediately surrendering the fourth bag of clams rather than waiting for it to murder us with its talons.

malbogio fucked around with this message at May 19, 2018 around 02:36

Telsa Cola
Aug 19, 2011

No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface


Vote closed, Clam Plan Cannon Fodder wins! Update sometime tomorrow!

Telsa Cola
Aug 19, 2011

No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface


Post is going to be delayed a tad. I might be able to get it out tonight but if not it will be out tomorrow morning!

Telsa Cola
Aug 19, 2011

No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface


Wearily, you turn to keep your eyes on the bird as you move, it's long strides carrying it two steps towards you for every step you take back towards the village. It takes every bit of courage you can muster but you manage make your body start moving back towards the village while keeping your eyes on the bird. While moving you slowly reach into your bag and withdraw another of the large clams, this one fits more easily into your hands then the last one. Frowning at the thought of losing more of your prize clams you drop it and keep moving, the shell striking a stone and making another loud clinking noise.

As with before the birds attention is immediately drawn to the source of the noise and it begins walking towards the dropped clam rather than towards you. More confident in your actions now that the bird's attention is directed elsewhere your pace quickens, though you still must tread carefully to ensure that you do not slip again. In a couple steps you are around the bend, out of sight of the bird and into sight of the village.



The village boundary is almost within reach. The cleared beaches and sand a couple dozen paces away beckoning your tired feet onward while the smell of smoked fish makes your stomach rumble. You keep your feet moving, the proximity of your goal giving your tired body a fresh surge of energy. All you want to do right now is eat and rest for as long as you can. A small crunch and burbling noises behind you causes you to glance back at the coastal bend.



It seems that the bird has finished with the distraction and is looking for more. It's head peeks out around the bend and it begins approaching you once more. The sight and sounds of village seem to discourage the bird though, and its steps becoming shorter and more tentative the closer it gets. You keep moving and by the time you make it pass the boundary it has stopped about six strides away, unwilling to go any further. The bird stares at you for awhile before burbling and retreating back down the coast and out of sight. It seems you are safe from the feathered menace for now, though it cost you two of your large clams. You take a moment to sit down and rest as all the tension floods out of your body.

The tension all comes flooding back when you see movement out of the corner of your eye, coming from a small group of palm trees. You get ready to run to the huts.
Then you hear the laughter.



Jub and a heavily built man you do not know are currently bent over laughing in the shade of the palm trees, recovering only momentarily before another glance at you sends them into another bout of laughter. Still snickering Jub stands up and walks over to you. He looks over you and the bag briefly before sticking his hand out, likely waiting for you to hand him the bag.

"I see you made it back, and with the last bag as well." He glances at your bruised hands. "Though it looks like you hooked a little more then you could pull in with your new friend." He snickers again and the man in the back collapses laughing. "Now, hand me that last bag and we can finish this task and get you fed and rested." His face turns serious. "There is a ceremony for you tonight and it would look bad if you collapsed in the middle of it."

What do you do?
Choice A: Hand Jub the bag obediently. You finished the task like he asked and you just want this to be done.
Choice B: Throw the bag at Jub. You do not appreciate being laughed at after being chased by a giant hungry bird.
Choice C: Empty the bag at Jub's feet. You do not appreciate being laughed at, let's see how he likes to scrounge for clams.
Choice D: Cry. You just spent who knows how long digging in the sand and being chased by a large hungry bird. Being laughed at afterwards hurts.

As always write ins are welcome.

Telsa Cola fucked around with this message at May 20, 2018 around 20:01

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords

B

Congratulations on making a bird with no hands scary as all get out!

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007

Alcohol...
It's the water of life.



Grimey Drawer


A
Write in:
Laugh about the bird too. We survived, after all.

100 HOGS AGREE fucked around with this message at May 20, 2018 around 21:25

malbogio
Jan 19, 2015


A.
+Ask about weapons.


Edit: Removed B vote as Jub addressed my concerns.

malbogio fucked around with this message at May 21, 2018 around 23:31

PoultryGeist
Feb 26, 2013

Crystals?

100 HOGS AGREE posted:


A
Write in:
Laugh about the bird too. We survived, after all.


This

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007



Yam Slacker

100 HOGS AGREE posted:


A
Write in:
Laugh about the bird too. We survived, after all.


I like this approach.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

AbysmalPeptoBismol
Feb 4, 2016

Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea!



A + laugh along

  • Locked thread
«8 »