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otter
Jul 23, 2007

Ask me about my XCOM and controller collection

word.

Internet Wizard posted:

I have compiled a comprehensive list of people who care if you would or would not have sex with somebody

1) Your Mom
You forgot one.
My whole point was that the only thing approaching aug is the potential awkwardness if someone at the store she bought it at didn’t offer an opaque bag. But maybe she lives somewhere that bans plastic bags and she brought her own from home and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.
Or maybe she just couldn’t wait for amazon prime shipping?

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Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌
Put it away, bro.

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012

otter posted:

chubby girl, purple hair, sex toys? sup girl?

Lol I’m literally that and there’s nothing that gets me drier than someone audibly proclaiming that they like bigger women. For me it was Tuesday bruh.

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008

otter posted:

What? I specifically and unashamedly like bigger girls and purple hair and a rather vanilla dildo means she might be fun (the hair) and knows how to satisfy her own needs. It’s not one of those dragon /dog / horse toys.

Posts you can smell

Internet Wizard
Aug 9, 2009

BANDAIDS DON'T FIX BULLET HOLES

Please stop generating content for the thread, there’s more than enough out there already

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Recursive thread set theory

Threads that contain themselves

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
Oh, good, it’s Boner Report o’clock again :allears:

TotalLossBrain
Oct 20, 2010

Hier graben!

AlbieQuirky posted:

Oh, good, it’s Boner Report o’clock again :allears:

Let me just head this off right here.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

TotalLossBrain posted:

Let me just head this off right here.



Dad put pants on for fucks sake.

WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn

that is incredibly unpleasant

if i walked into the room and saw it out of the corner of my eye

i guarantee that i would visibly leap to attention

the fight/flight part of my lizard brain would be going off like fireworks

DicktheCat
Feb 15, 2011

Well, I instantly forgot the derail. Holy gently caress.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌
F-fingerblast the little turd.

Purgatory Glory
Feb 20, 2005

CeramicPig posted:



That shoe is stretched to the absolute max.

Diafetes

Loomer
Dec 19, 2007

A Very Special Hell

TotalLossBrain posted:


AlbieQuirky posted:

Oh, good, it’s Boner Report o’clock again :allears:


Let me just head this off right here.



Joke's on you. I've never been more erect.

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013
🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

TotalLossBrain posted:

Let me just head this off right here.



CommissarMega
Nov 18, 2008

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Someone alert the SCP Foundation, we've got a live one!

TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.
https://twitter.com/Complex/status/1266123753349513217

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011


It’d take, like, 4 or 5 cops to crush that neck

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

Maybe he's a highlander and evolved to have an indestructible neck.

Like that guy from highlander the source who wore a giant collar.

DrBouvenstein
Feb 28, 2007

I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.
That really is the smart thing to do, right?

I always wondered why vampires don't just walk around in a breastplate or something. Sure, maybe Buffy or Blade is strong enough to punch a wooden stake through metal, but not your average human vampire hunter.

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

It's an extremely smart thing to do because it makes him literally invincible in the first fight scene.

Except I think it disappears when he gets hit by lightning and he never gets a replacement for the rest of the movie.

Also the vampires should just wear the he-man thing with the bit of metal right in the middle. Maybe he-man was a vampire.

Heath
Apr 30, 2008

🍂🎃🏞️💦

TotalLossBrain posted:

Let me just head this off right here.



What? I specifically and unashamedly like hairy girls and brown hair and a rather vanilla pair of shoes means she might be fun (the hair) and knows how to satisfy her own needs.

DemonDarkhorse
Nov 5, 2011

It's probably not tobacco. You just need to start wiping front-to-back from now on.

Breetai posted:

F-fingerblast the little turd.

sup girl

Biplane
Jul 18, 2005

Heath posted:

What? I specifically and unashamedly like hairy girls and brown hair and a rather vanilla pair of shoes means she might be fun (the hair) and knows how to satisfy her own needs.

Lol

MizPiz
May 29, 2013

by Athanatos
https://twitter.com/aamer_rahman/status/1267401380370751492?s=19

theironjef
Aug 11, 2009

The archmage of unexpected stinks.

OwlFancier posted:

It's an extremely smart thing to do because it makes him literally invincible in the first fight scene.

Except I think it disappears when he gets hit by lightning and he never gets a replacement for the rest of the movie.

Also the vampires should just wear the he-man thing with the bit of metal right in the middle. Maybe he-man was a vampire.

Seems like it shouldn't. Just sever at the level that thing ends on the shoulders and if he's still alive for some reason it's not like he's got any arms or legs to keep defending himself with.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


Well... #chokememommy is embarrassing enough.
For the record I know a how to tie a fair amount of knots from my sea scouting days. The noose has no uses that modern equipment can’t replace however it has two functions I’ll mention because one of them is probably relevant to the wierdo. It can’t jam if theirs no weight on it. The other is it can act like a fender if the loop kept from running through.
None of these are of use enough to get past the symbol of oppression it is.

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!

LingcodKilla posted:

Well... #chokememommy is embarrassing enough.
For the record I know a how to tie a fair amount of knots from my sea scouting days. The noose has no uses that modern equipment can’t replace however it has two functions I’ll mention because one of them is probably relevant to the wierdo. It can’t jam if theirs no weight on it. The other is it can act like a fender if the loop kept from running through.
None of these are of use enough to get past the symbol of oppression it is.

It's for sex, op.

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012
God I almost wish it was racist.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

teen witch posted:

God I almost wish it was racist.

I know her personally and it legitimately wasn't racist. She's just that level of horrifically clueless as to both:

1. Post her kink poo poo on social media

2. Post a red, white, and blue noose in the middle of a protest over racial violence.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

I’ve never been so disgusted and turned on in my life

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012

chitoryu12 posted:

I know her personally and it legitimately wasn't racist. She's just that level of horrifically clueless as to both:

1. Post her kink poo poo on social media

2. Post a red, white, and blue noose in the middle of a protest over racial violence.

No I mean I wish it was racist in that it would be less painful than this lack of reading the room skill she clearly has. I’ve handled racists for drat near thirty years, but that picture is viscerally mortifying. I am feeling it in my bones

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
The most shameful people are always unashamed

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


Paladinus posted:

It's for sex, op.

I know that I’m saying WHY she might want to use that for sex.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Also, she's like this at 36 years old.

IamnotJoe
Jul 24, 2005
Maybe Steve.

This motherfucker cant breathe walking to the vending machine.

Hispanic! At The Disco
Dec 25, 2011


I'd probably be that cocky if I knew the cops couldn't even find my neck.

Tashilicious
Jul 17, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
:)

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TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.

J K Rowling retconned Voldemort's snake to be a Korean lady.

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