Picnic Princess posted:

Never put smoldering nuts in your eyes.

Put smoldering nuts in your eyes.

Always put smoldering nuts in your eyes.

Solice Kirsk posted:

What the hell is it with people reviewing food in their cars? There's like tons of them.

Nostradingus posted:

Raw celery tastes the way a new spindle of CDs smells

Mr. Snickerdoodles posted:

I'm about to go to bed and gently caress you for this.


I'm torn on this one. On one hand, she definitely shouldn't have a kid in her custody. On the other hand, she's awful oval office of a human being and I want to punish her by saddling her with incredible amounts of responsibility. I guess just not kid-types of responsibility.

ToxicSlurpee posted:

It's a metal string under a lot of tension. It probably won't kill you but basically anybody that's played a guitar knows how much it hurts when one snaps and hits your arm. It isn't pleasant. Could definitely gently caress up an eye.

Tetracube posted:

Bert Roberge posted:

Six-Of-Hearts posted:

AUG Thread: For Some Reason No Female Has The Ovaries To Say It To Me.

Arcsquad12 posted:

Please tell me someone has contacted child services

ToxicSlurpee posted:

Then again pretty much everything sexual is weird and gross if you actually stop to think about it.

Tubgoat posted:

I tell you hwat, that is a heckin' mugshot for a dude that would rape/impregnate a broad who's been a vegetable since childhood (according to local ABC-affiliate news station).
Additional AUG keeping one's vegetative kin alive for, minimally, 12 years.
Christ a-mighty, my family better not pull that poo poo if I become a vegetable.
Just hoover out my spare parts and huck me into the 'cinerator, 'cause gently caress everything about that.
Admittedly, if I'm dreaming during vegetation, I'm enjoying a higher quality of life than nearly anyone conscious.

Dillbag posted:

Acutane, mother fucker. As high a dose as you can without getting liver failure. Stay inside, and avoid the sun and other people while your face turns yellow, scabs over, and falls off over the course of a few months. Went on it at 14 after trying everything else (including direct injections of antibiotics into the acne on my face) and it worked like a fuckin' charm. You would never know except for some minor scarring on my nose.

M_Sinistrari posted:

what are you supposed to do if you cough and pee a little?

AlbieQuirky posted:

Yes, it was a doctor’s clinical note.

But the husband deserves at least an equal share of the blame!

This is a different clinical note on the same issue.

Holy hell, this is happening all over. I still can’t find the case note I was remembering, which I think was from the 1980s, because there are so many. Google “urethral coitus” if you want to

This one is kind of sad. “Doctor, why am I not getting pregnant?”

LifeSunDeath posted:

Support cops in all their endeavors. What could go wrong?

TinTower posted:

i hate tiktok

chitoryu12 posted:

For the record, that's 2040 calories and 780 grams of sodium.

grittyreboot posted:

Picnic Princess posted:

Don't smear bodily fluids all over your face.

text me a vag pic posted:

feed me




FEED ME DUDE

snoo posted:

ugh god don't leave your toilets open

Dick Burglar posted:

Reminds me of that 2000s-era softcore porn star with the hoof foot. (Edit: I just googled "what the hoof" and google has informed me it was Kate from Kate's Playground.)

The Bloop posted:

ehhh not enough context. The kid might have everything they need because the mom was going without

Bobby Digital posted:

bossy lady posted:

I'll never understand why politicians drag their wife and kids on stage while they look like assholes in front of all of America.

Exhibit B:

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

fisting by many posted:

It was Cee Lo Green and frankly he pulled it off about as well as one can do "precious metal statue." Far better than Kanye at any rate.

GreenMetalSun posted:

Is this guy likely to be a murderer? Because that seems like a fun night.