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May 30, 2018 13:35
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Psychobabble! posted:Some makeup AUG: These are the end result of thousands of sponsored Instagram makeup tutorials where the goal is to use every product available on market to create a look that was previously reserved for drag queens during performances. When I was 14 I didn't know what contouring was and I'm a better person for it (old man yells at cloud.jpg)
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Jul 3, 2018 17:53
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QUACKTASTIC posted:And is contouring the thing that separates you from the quoted lady and/or seven-time WWE Hardcore Championship winner Goldust? Contouring is a gateway into increasingly bizarre and terrifying makeup rituals.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:06
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Get the look for only $600!
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Jul 3, 2018 19:58
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slinkimalinki posted:The dot of highlighter on the end of the nose always cracks me up. I can't unsee it in Instagram makeup. I'm amused by the foundation lasagna. Maybe that colour correction serum did something 7 layers ago, but now it's a distant memory.
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Jul 3, 2018 20:07
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That's the only one of these I've laughed at. Lol birds.
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Jul 5, 2018 23:02
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BaronVonVaderham posted:Well poo, I'm dumb and this was meant for the cute thread. This one just also uses the bright pink CUTE icon. I don't know what thread I'm in half the time everything's just animal memes and weirdos.
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Jul 5, 2018 23:38
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The Door Frame posted:12kg of lard is 109,000 calories. You could just eat ~1.5kg of pure lard a meal for 3 days to make 100,000 and beat this chump's record It's about views though. I have a big sweet tooth but I'm a reasonable person who doesn't eat much candy at all. When I checked out his video, sure it was moronic and annoying, but it was also kind of satisfying. When youre craving junk food everything looks great. I'd love a huge bowl of peanut m&ms.
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Jul 19, 2018 05:34
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Oh my god Asian toilet talk is giving me flashbacks to wretched squat toilet moments. The worst for me was less gross than terrifying. A toilet bowl in a damp, unlit concrete room deep in the woods protected by some of the largest, quickest spiders I ever laid eyes on. Hope you don't have to pee at night!
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Jul 24, 2018 17:25
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Wow, two separate souls in two separate bodies. Beautifully poetic.
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Aug 7, 2018 12:59
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BurntCornMuffin posted:I will never cease to be amazed at this mindset, especially given all the publications over the years about Diet being worse for you in many ways. I've heard studies have been inconclusive at best so I'm curious to read these articles. I have an academic account so i can access publications if you provide the info.
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Aug 18, 2018 01:39
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Bean posted:I had a boyfriend in high school who was sure we found tampons pleasurable. What I’m saying is, you think you’re kidding, but you are frighteningly close to the truth. I worked at a sex toy store when I was younger and frequently women would come in to purchase replacement vibrators because their boyfriends jealously threw their old ones out.
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Aug 26, 2018 20:23
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LifeSunDeath posted:There was a patient smoking crack in my hospital the other day. Is there a healthcare gripes thread because there was a patient injecting crushed pills down their loving brand new jugular access port last week.
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Sep 12, 2018 21:30
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Blessed to wake up covered in a hundred lady bug kisses.
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Oct 7, 2018 06:17
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time release butt/urethral/plug/tongue stud full of every illicit drug while rollerblading is the best “Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!” yet.
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Oct 23, 2018 15:06
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A half insulated Canadian garage gets mighty cold in the winter. I don't imagine the occupant has a cozy down blanket to go over his couch cushions, I predict ice cold extremities.
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Oct 25, 2018 07:00
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pseudorandom posted:What am I missing that makes it obvious this is Canadian? The only detail I suspect are those two red food containers; is that a recognizable Canadian brand? That and the fact that there seems to be some sort of recycling program.
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Oct 25, 2018 17:42
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My wedding was a cool breeze the wife and I married beside the dumpster at an IHOP unlike all these other crazy whore brides who probably sabotage their birth control
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Nov 6, 2018 01:45
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LifeSunDeath posted:got a 2 liter of fago stomp/blasted into my face and blew my glasses off and I had to drive home, it was terrible. Footage of this would be a charming addition to my Goons in the Wild compilation video.
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Nov 15, 2018 03:29
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Skeleton Ape posted:Now do ulillillia Ulilillia is unironically living his best life by any standards.
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Nov 28, 2018 02:00
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I'd like to meet Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho. Dear God...he is cute. But I wouldn't be squeeing. To his face, anyway. We'd go to the library and get some books, then go to my place and have some deep philosophical discussions (These things usually end up in me gloating about my superior intelligence. People, I can play Xenosaga and understand every last reference.) Then we'd head to the arcade where we play Dance Dance Revolution. Since I'm a fat lazy dirtbag, Kurama mops the floor with my rear end. Of course, he's tired, so we go to the park and chill. He pulls a rose out of his hair which makes me raise an eyebrow WTF style. He tries to play it off, but I don't buy it. "You've got a secret, I've gotta know it." He somehow manages to keep his cool. I wonder how this man does it. I start humming something by the Cruxshadows. We just stare at trees and talk for a while until I'm half-asleep. Instinctively I lean against Kurama's shoulder and stare at the sky. Boredly I fire a spirit beacon at a tree and we end up talking about witchcraft. I launch into a lengthy clambake about Discordianism and Kurama interrupts me. "...The ones who worship Eris?" "...Ya. How do you know about them?" "How can I ignore the yells of 'HAIL ERIS!' and 'ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!' going through my school?" "...Meiou High has Discordians?" "Yes, actually, we do." I'm nervous as hell at this point. I just mutter reflexively. "...Fnord." Kurama looks at me like my brain was left at home. "...That...was random, Anima." I turn red a little. "drat...sorry. The autism's getting to me." We get into another clambake about my Asperger's Syndrome. "We're both born with some interesting things aren't we?" he asks. "What do you have besides being a total brainiac?" "...Well...let's just say that the numerous girls who call me a so-called sexy fox are not lying." "Wait, what?" I am seriously lost at this point. Kurama tells me his life story. Apparently from his small laughs, I'm amusing him. "I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?" I launch into the Goodfellas routine, which makes me and Kurama both burst into laughter until we hear a sharp "Hn." come from a tree. "...Trees talk?" I ask. Kurama chuckles again. "...Oh, no. That's just Hiei. He's following me again." Hiei was hit by my spirit beacon earlier. So he slashes at me with his sword, upon which I do a tailslide onto the ground and end up with my face under Kurama's legs. "...Dammit." Kurama laughs at the awkwardness and helps me to my feet. "...What was that all about?" "She hit me with a spirit gun." "...No no no, Hiei. Spirit Beacon. BEACON. It's not an attack. It's like a bat's sonar." "...So she's a spirit affinity like Kuwabara." "Sort of."
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Dec 21, 2018 13:48
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I'll take it!
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Dec 21, 2018 19:50
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Kwanzaa Quickie posted:I’m 39 and I’ll be a granddad in May. I was 19 when my daughter was born and she’s 20 now. I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a daughter. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, clothing, raising and rearing a girl for at least 18 years solely so she can go and get ravaged by another man. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little girl - reading her stories at bedtime, making her go to sports practice, making sure she had a healthy diet, educating her, playing with her. All of it has one simple result: her body is more enjoyable for the men that will eventually gently caress her in every hole. Raised the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a random man who had nothing to do with the way she grew up, who marries her. He gets to gently caress her tight pussy every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet personality that came from the way you raised her. As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically.
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Feb 16, 2019 04:47
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Violet_Sky posted:
Get away from the awful man immediately!
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Feb 26, 2019 19:49
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M_Sinistrari posted:It depends on the 5yr old. I was able to use the stove for things like cooking eggs at 5yrs old. It does not "depend on the 5 year old" lmao. Don't leave your kid around a hot stove unattended.
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Mar 6, 2019 18:11
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I'm eternally grateful that none of my stupid teenage nonsense was put on YouTube.
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Mar 21, 2019 18:42
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I'd tear through the crossword puzzle in the free conservative rag on the subway to work. Then on my way home I'd challenge myself to completing the slightly harder free liberal rag crossword puzzle.
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Mar 29, 2019 14:15
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BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:excuse me You can have a tracheostomy stoma.
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May 6, 2019 00:21
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People are too proud of things that make them horny. There should be 2 separate internets; one for when you have a boner and one for when you don't. Choose which internet you want to use today, there's no overlap!
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Jun 2, 2019 11:04
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Bogus Adventure posted:People didn't understand Step Brothers, either. What's not to understand about Step Brothers???
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Sep 9, 2019 13:04
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No one else is saying it! Bitch no one else is saying it because everyone's aware that skin is elastic.
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Jun 16, 2020 22:44
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Iron Crowned posted:The problem with Big Titty Sleeping Sister is that 75% of what's on pornhub or whatever is "incest fantasy" or step brother/sister/mom/dad poo poo. It's really annoying. What do you identify as the problem here?
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Aug 20, 2020 19:10
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Brawnfire posted:poo poo I almost forgot about this feculent arsehole Who is this awful moist looking person.
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Oct 22, 2020 13:27
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In the hospital we have these non invasive little plastic self adhesive pouches that go over the ween and connect to a canister that is attached to a slight vacuum. There's a similar system for vaginas and innies where instead of a pouch it's like a bendable dildo covered in wicking fabric that nestles in between the folds.
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Oct 16, 2021 19:53
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John Lee posted:I've been accosted twice, in public, and assaulted once for it, for literally shopping, because people are so freaked out about the secret signs of pedophilia like "knowing somebody with a flat chest" that they definitely will talk poo poo at you for it. I'm sorry, what?
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Aug 15, 2022 00:31
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Soul Dentist posted:I had a palate expander and it sucked but the worst part was how food could get stuck between it and the roof of your major Me too! I would get nosebleeds when I turned the key, and the pressure was just awful for a couple days afterwards.
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Jan 29, 2024 16:00
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