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oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Ambitious Spider posted:

surprise sex sux is surprisingly progressive graffiti for a gamer den

That is to immediately make the women feel safer and let her guard down for when she is inevitably raped and murdered later in that dungeon

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oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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I was invited to a gender reveal party and letís just say I didnít know it was meant for unborn children

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Deified Data posted:

Someone help me out with these. Are they real? Where do they come from? I'm not confused by nice guys or incels or PUA poo poo but this seems to be a weird cross-section of all three, and I don't know how it formed naturally in the wild. Are there forums full of otaku who psych eachother up to approach women in this way? Do they run RP ideas past one another, practice on one another? So many questions. I hope they're fake but I know they're not.

*reads your post, smiles and shakes head ruefully*

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Us gamers huh

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Picnic Princess posted:

Why would you admit to being oldsexless

I had no idea I was admitting to that

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Look I have sex constantly with things all the time

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Scathach posted:

I never understand cakes that remind the preggo chick of the body horror that giving birth is. Yay vaginal tearing and horrible pain! Wooo!

Theyíre probably for women that donít consider giving birth to their children to be body horror

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Mothman prophecies 2 looking good

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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im not convinced any of thats true

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Beard oil is very important. Iím a dapper dan man myself

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Lacey White

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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I bet he and gamesmaster anthony would be good friends

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Simply Sara still going strong I see.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Soysaucebeast posted:

Speaking of Walmart, I used to work in one in Illinois as a cashier like ten years ago. I remember there was this one customer with a shaved head who came in and was super nice to everyone. He was the type of guy who just makes your whole day. Anyway, I was ringing him up and when he turned to leave I saw her had A HUGE (like the entire back of his head huge) tattoo of a swastika. That was a big "whelp" moment for me.

And on sword chat, the only sword store I saw growing up (still in Illinois) was a combo sword, comic, and M:TG store. My brother and I spent way too much time there.

Did you punch him for being a nazi?

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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It ok to admit you want to suck those bear tits, you bear tit sucker. No one cares.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Sonic doing Bitch pushups

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Lmfao at anyone who believes in any kind of higher power

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Itís also stored in the balls

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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It can also mean your income before things like taxes and insurance are deducted

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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cash crab posted:

Not sure if this remark is directed at me, but no, I was not in a hurry since I was at work and don't have access to a computer.

And yes, you can now file reports about this thread, but I will point out (because there already were a few) that if you guys make reports, you have to put a reason, and you can't just report posts you don't understand or like, because in the like... two hours since you all collectively decided to start filing reports there have already been bullshit reports about nothing.

Iíll try to make better reports in the future but when you report as many posts as I do it can get hectic

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Edgar Allan Pwned posted:

what? the soft spot refers to the babys skull. there is an area in the skull that hasnt hardened/formed so that babies can exit through the birth canal. i mean yo mom may be loose and can spit out a hard-skull but the rest of us have malleable skulls. soft skulls are how we make cone heads

I have literally never heard this explanation before, I had always heard the one Fashionable Jorts said.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Meat loaf was in BloodRayne

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Picnic Princess posted:

So was I. Who cares?

I donít care at all if you were in BloodRayne.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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oldpainless posted:

I donít care at all if you were in BloodRayne.

Nah Iím just playing. Congratulations on your film experience

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Weldon Pemberton posted:

My TL at work has Castiel on her desk, but not in his iconic trench coat look- he's in some random outfit that was in a single episode.

The only way you could tell it's someone from Supernatural without asking is the knowledge that she is obsessed with Supernatural.

I know which one you mean

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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This one makes me sad

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Dixville posted:

Is that Elijah Wood?

It Elijah Cood

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Turn on your monitor

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Iíve heard about joining the rat race but this is ridiculous!

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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cash crab posted:

Is he here to protect me or hurt me

Yes

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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oh no

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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text me a vag pic posted:

kill all bugs
every one

Especially after Buenos Aires

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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oh no

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Itís gross because heís in it just as this thread is sexy because Iím in it

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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AUG: what if hmmmmm....but yes?

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Met a girl through MySpace somehow and ended up driving like 30 minutes to pick her up at her house. She answers the door and explains that sheís going to have to bring along her 3 month old baby (I wasnít aware a baby existed). She we load up the baby, btw the baby cries the entire date, and she wants to go to,the bowling alley. Itís a small town and I donít live there so we do what she wants. While at the bowling alley, she keeps looking around and when I ask what sheís looking for, she explains that the babyís father just got out of jail and he is really pissed at her and sheís afraid he could find her and start some poo poo. Also, he gets in lots of fights so I should be prepared to fight him if he finds us and also he always travels with 4 or 5 friends so be prepared to fight them all at the same time. The baby has not stopped crying. Ever. Finally I take her home and she compliments me on my ďkind eyesĒ and had a really great time.


I bowled a 142.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Yes I remember all of our dates as well

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Pipistrelle posted:

Happy birthday, Cash Crab!

Oldpainlessí bowling alley with a baby story reminded me of one of my worst dates. It wasnít a first date, but it was with my first ever boyfriend. He was 22 and a huge stoner, I was 18 and didnít even drink at the time. Most of our dates ended up being us hanging out with his stoner coworkers while they got high and I watched tv. The worst though was when we picked up his buddy and the buddyís baby. We drove out to a field in the middle of nowhere where they proceeded to get blazed. I was left holding the baby and wondering what the gently caress I was doing there. I dumped him not too long after when he told me that he didnít believe in global warming. I donít know why that was the last straw.

Another terrible date I went on was a first date with this really hot guy I met on campus. We went out to get coffee and it seemed to be going smoothly until he started telling me about how he thought the moon landing was faked. I think I kind of just stared at him thinking he was joking, but he really, really was not. The most AUG wasnít even that he was into dumb conspiracy theories; it was that I was excited to go out with him again and he never called me. That one kind of stung.

The moon landing? Seriously, wow.



Anyway how was the sex?

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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SeaGoatSupreme posted:

My worst first date was amazing, right up until it wasn't. Got a date from a gorgeous rock climber when I was picking up wrist wraps, and we ended up getting poo poo housed and going back to her apartment. Everything was going good until she was on top of me facing away and she said "oh no"

I could feel her trying to hold back. She tried her hardest. I was scared to touch her, lest the demons escape.

She vomited. And projectile shat liquid fire. All over my legs and chest. The smell made me cry. She was crying. Trying to take a shower clogged her loving shower. We never talked again.

I've never had a first date to a bar since. I just can't risk it.

Wow what a lovely date

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oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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The piss congealed, thereby sealing the cracks and creating a barrier

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