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Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




chitoryu12 posted:

AUG Thread: You can post fewer than 5 rubber pussies
One is fewer than 5!

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Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




People kept asking what I was having and I said, "A baby." You can wait until it's born to find out what it's got between its legs! You can also not have a baby shower!

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Dixville posted:

Uh... Maybe I messed it but pretty sure no one said anything about *eating* the hair... Seems odd for you to bring it up out of nowhere
I mean, it's kind of a tricky font...but yeah, that totally says "cut".

Speaking of fonts, Postsecret could be a real font of thread content, now that I think about it.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




I keep a clean inbox, but I do save notes as drafts.



nice

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




It's makeup and Photoshop: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/i...lastic-surgery/

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




My husband once got a free MachSomething in the mail, completely unsolicited. He uses an electric shaver, though, so I inherited the MAN'S MACHMILLION BEARD DESTROYER 3000 to use on my dainty ladylegs. It always felt vaguely subversive. (Also smooth as a baby's rear end.)

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




MageMage posted:

That's a Gillette Mach 3 Turbo razor and people AMAB get them for free at age 18.

You married your husband before he turned 18 is what I'm gathering.
My husband didn't even live in this country until he was 23ish. I'm betting he got the razor when he got his green card.

Still waiting for my free pads.

For content, have one of the most inexplicable and AUG results for "razor costume":

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




There's a former restaurant in the area that kept getting closed down for health code violations--I mean, over and over and over again. Finally the owners sold it, and it's reopening later this summer (a pop-up kind of thing) as strictly a bar, with no food. Someone unconnected to the place explained that they'll still have to address all the violations before they can serve food, and it'll take a long time getting rid of all the rats and mice.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




I loving wish Baby Foot peeled that much for me. Still peels enough to be satisfying to pick at and gross out my family, though.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Fleta Mcgurn posted:

The most AUG Spanish alcohols are a) calimotxo (half red wine, half Coke!)
It is a fine, fine drink in summer. Or whenever, actually. The AUGest part is that it's sold in two-liters at the local grocery store, which could actually be a point in its favor.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




The Door Frame posted:

Unless the belly is a zipper and then there could be 2 guys in one fursuit. Did you ever think about that, smart guy?

No, because having sex in fursuits is hard enough to wrap your head around. Having sex in a single fursuit is next level gross
Honestly, that is exactly what I thought when I read "he's always got a guy in there." And now I need to take a shower.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




That's just how a shrew family sticks together. I would have thought it was gross and creepy if I hadn't seen this display at the National Museum of Nature and Science in Tokyo:



Instead, it just made me giggle. I notice I named this photo "sillyshrews.jpg".

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Pastry of the Year posted:

Me t-to, you know?
I think that was correct, believe it or not: "I meant join the Japanese club, t-to, you know, experience Japanese culture." The janky punctuation doesn't help.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Dixville posted:

Edit ladybugs are okay until they start pulling this poo poo



I remember one year they were swarming everywhere and it was creepy
We used to get swarming ladybugs, but we've been downgraded to boxelder bugs instead:



You can't really do anything about them; you can try squishing them (and it often takes more than one smash), but then they smell. Apparently the most reliable way to control them is to suck them up in a vacuum cleaner, but to me that sounds like you'd just wind up with a vacuum cleaner full of boxelders, and that does not sound like a definitive step in the right direction.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




SubponticatePoster posted:

You can mix regular ol' dish soap with water and spray them down with that, works pretty well. The apartment I lived at before I bought my house would get them all over the back entrance in the fall since it was south-facing. I wouldn't have cared except they kept getting inside so I resorted to chemical warfare.
That's exactly what happens to us: buncha bugs on the warm south-facing brick (and some sneaking in through the patio door when we let the dog in/out). I'll try the dish-soap trick, thanks!

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




RoboRodent posted:

I haven't seen a "coexist" made of guns before. Charming.
I saw one like this yesterday (I'm in Michigan):

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Scathach posted:

Ah yes, the ol' "starve women so they stop having periods" method. Very effective!
With a healthy pinch of "keep women pregnant and/or breastfeeding so they stop having periods" for good measure. Either way, it's a winner!

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




puppets freak me out posted:

I feel like I've seen this on a flag, but I can't find it.
It reminds me of the Sicilian flag:



The Manx flag is similar, but all legs.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Happy birthday, cash crab!

I had a huge crush on this foreign grad-student TA in college, and well after I was out of his class, he eventually revealed (in an E-mail) that I had caught his eye, too. He suggested seeing a movie for our first date; I said we should have dinner, too, so we could talk.

The college anime club's screening festival thing was that weekend, so I suggested that as the "movie". We watched a few shows in the afternoon (complete with me bitching about the lovely fan translations) before dinner. He picked an extremely nonfancy Coney Island, where I think I got a salad so I wouldn't have onion + mustard breath. Then we went home to our respective dorms.

I paced and paced and paced and eventually called him up to say I wasn't done with our date, and would he like to go see "Kiki's Delivery Service" with me at the anime thing later that night? He did, so we drove back down, enjoyed the film, and had coffee around the corner before heading back to the dorms.

I mean, it wasn't awful, but God, looking back on it now, I'm in a full-body cringe. We've been married for going on 18 years (and I'm a professional Japanese translator).

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Eyes Wide Shut is another bad date movie when you're still in that extremely awkward and tenuous early stage and really don't want to do anything to torpedo the relationship.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Wow, here I was feeling sorry for the girls named Clancy, Keegan, and Kinzly at my son's school.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




cool kids inc. posted:

That feller who what ain't quite right.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




I need better thighs before I can side with the leggings faction.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




And... a belt, for some reason.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




T-man posted:

help me, dick the birthday boy!
Do you need that comma?

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Mizuti posted:

Just what was in that Facebook video?


I thought some of those album titles looked familiar.

http://theworstthingsforsale.com/20...bum-about-dogs/

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Scathach posted:

Pssht that's not even a school bus. Pic has to be a kid going somewhere else, mall or something. But it can't be denied that dicks are funny.
Nah, I just saw another poster on these very forums talk about schoolkids using public buses to get to school, with teacher chaperones and everything. But it can't be denied that dicks are funny.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




LadyPictureShow posted:

Can confirm. I was on the metro once, and the douchebag next to me pulled out one of my earbuds to tell me I smelled nice.
Holy poo poo.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




snergle posted:

actually she got it by being a utah mormon.

https://bycommonconsent.com/2016/03...n-2015-edition/

thats from 2015 but her blog goes farther i imagine there is even more proof if you wanna google it.
This has to be the definitive site on the subject: http://wesclark.com/ubn/

My favorite is still Desdedididawn.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Scathach posted:

E: "What it looks like when a sex doll joins a family"

obviously for sex dolls https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/loo...-134444193.html
Ugh, Davecat. I mean, ugh to the rest of it, too, but a special shout-out of ugh to Davecat.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Scathach posted:

...monokini?
Just wait till she turns around.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Deified Data posted:

This bears closer inspection
It does not.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Spotted in the wild yesterday:



Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




LifeSunDeath posted:

(awful haircuts)

(sorry for the artifacts)

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Clinton Twp man's pet raccoon euthanized after escaping, biting 6-year-old

The article posted:

Joel Bandrow has owned Bandit for three years and says the Raccoon isn't aggressive and loves people.

"I love my raccoon and I don't want nothing to happen to it," Joel said. "My granddaughter - he sleeps with the grandbabies when they come over. He's a pet. I will cough up a loogie and he will eat it from my mouth. I'm his mother."

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Dick Burglar posted:

That is the worst J, what the gently caress.
Because it's an M.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Tubgoat posted:

I don't hate this one. It could be a better pink, but it's not even in the top 10 worst dresses I've seen online or in real life.
It seems to be made of Mylar. Great for an outdoor winter survivalist wedding, although the pink may be working against it there.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




I'm not entirely sure where this goes. I think it's awkward, but not for the obvious reason.

A woman ordered a 'Moana' cake for her daughter -- but the baker heard 'marijuana'

https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/11/us/m...trnd/index.html

Take a look at that cake:

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




BrigadierSensible posted:

A 25 year old having a Disney ice-cream cake ordered by your mum is pretty AUG also, in my opinion.
Bingo. If a woman had called me to order a Moana cake for her daughter, but also said that her daughter was turning 25, I probably would have mentally auto-corrected it to "marijuana," too.

Also: Kensli. On a 25-year-old!

(The cake is pretty awesome, though, all things considered.)

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Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




https://twitter.com/eehouls/status/...8719489/photo/1

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