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bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Elon Musk is the J.P., the head game designer from Grandma's Boy.
One amazing idea, and living off mythos.
Also, dressing like a leather clad fucktwit.

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bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

The biggest argument against intelligebt design is the fact that humans were poorly designed- no real redundancy in our organs, no armor, no natural defenses like venom or awesome rear end claws. If we did have an intelligent designer, we would all be giant fucks with 2 of everything important, bone armor, thumbs, and bitching rear end Sabertooth claws.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

I'm going to guess it's for catkin who want hairballs to cough up.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

I just caught up on about 61 pages of this thread in the last 5 or so days, so I'm super late to the party, but I do want to thank cash crab for handling this thread after all the previous adventures on the subject.
And agree, racoon mod, best mod

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

My wife bought me camo leggings to wear underneath my silkies back when I used to run.
Leggings are the poo poo, and I blame no one for wearing them.
Not my style, but you do you, leggings guy.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Slippery posted:

Wait why would you wear anything under silkies, i thought the whole point was to rock them proudly

Because it's 30 loving degrees out, and I can run in comfort instead of shorts and a t shirt like the military made me.

E- that came off more dickish than I meant.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

King Chat- Long Walk is better than most of King's books.
That motherfucker will spend 3/4 of book building to something cool, and then it feels like he remembered a deadline and phone's in the last bit with aome bullshit like, "Uh, Aliens?"
His stupid time travel Kennedy book? Garbage.
Under the Dome? Garbage.
Tommyknockers? Same.
90% of his poo poo bibliography is barely airport level poo poo. He's the horror version of Tom Clancy.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Screaming Idiot posted:

Israel is what happens when you learn the exact wrong goddamn lessons from Nazi Germany.

Of course one of you people would think that.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Someone post that lawyer tweet about face tats.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

subpar anachronism posted:

I think I know the person in the white shirt. She and her boyfriend are church swingers.

Ok, I realize I might eat a probate for this, but an AUG story from my life, that I have never had the chance to share before.

When my first wife and I were moving apartments, she hit it off socially with the property manager, who invited us over for dinner a few days later. In the time between, she asked my wife odd questions about her interest in reality shows, as she runs one from her home.
There is only one type of reality show run from your home. Cam shows. My wife doesn't think like this.
We go over, cams are covered, and have a lovely dinner. As we are chatting outside, my sweet wife says something to the effect of, 'it would be a great night to go out and swing'.
She meant like swings, on a playground, like children.
Our neighbor took it in the very adultest manner.
'You guys swing!?' Very excited.
Before I can stop my wife-
'We love to! We've been looking for a place since we moved!'
'Oh, then, how ab-'
'SHE MEANT LIKE A SWING SET!' I blurt out, like an autist.

That is how we met my neighbor, the adult film performer.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

T-man posted:

should'a done it, sounds like you'd get a good deal mate

She did a niche of porn I don't find attractive. Awesome woman, still friends with her. She left the larger porn business to just do like c4s and poo poo like that because she wanted a more normal life. She did get recognized by one of my friend's who was a Professor at her college, which was loving funny.

Yeah, sweet dude. I now know you beat off to my friend enough to recognize her in the hall.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

My wife and I were down to try things with other people, just not them. While we found them both to be lovely people, there was no physical attraction from either of us to them.

I should add, my wife knew what swingers were and everything, but just wasn't in that frame of mind, and I was honestly more afraid of her embarassing herself, and it being my fault for not stopping her. It had happened even when we were friends in HS. Looking back, I realize that it was one of those things I hated, but I didn't know that I really loved deep down.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Skeleton Ape posted:

I woke up this morning
With a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again

This happens all the time
It's detachable

This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home
When I think it's going to get me in trouble
Or I can rent it out
When I don't need it

But now and then I go to a party
Get drunk
And the next morning I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment
And I couldn't find it
So I called up the place where the party was
They hadn't seen it either

I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
Because for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know

I called some other people from the party
But they were no help either

I was starting to get desperate
I really don't like being without my penis for too long
It makes me feel like less of a man
And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak

After a few hours of searching the house
And calling everyone I could think of
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast

Then as I walked down Second Avenue
Towards St. Mark's place
Where all those people sell used books
And other junk on the street
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
Next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it

I had to buy it off him
He wanted 22 bucks
But I talked him down to 17

I took it home, washed it off
And put it back on
I was happy again
Complete

People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached
But, I don't know
Even though it's sometimes a pain in the rear end
I like having a detachable penis

I haven't thought of Detachable Penis in years. They used to play it on the local 'alternative' station a lot when I was in HS.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Don't nobody listen to techno?

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Screaming Idiot posted:

Not my ex, but a good friend of mine was in a BDSM community and relationship, and she used to tell me horror stories over AIM about the poo poo she heard, witnessed, and had done to her. It's degradation and abuse, pure and simple.

So, second hand stories from a single individual a decade ago, not personal experiences or research brought you to this hot take?

Fitting choice in username then.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

I'll probably get ahit on for this, but Rogue One, while having that creepy rear end CGI resurrection spell, did do an awesome job of showing- in a Disneyfied format, at least- that neither side had a monopoly on morality.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk at the Wendy's Drive Thru.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010


The Workaholics bit on this was loving great.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

No matter whatX is, there is someone online making a fetish of it. So, I'm sure there is a msg board for people who rub themselves raw to Hobbit Feet. Just make a Pornhub channel and go at it.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

I know I shouldn't talk bad about kids, but Acosta's kids are creepy as gently caress.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

If one of those creepy rear end kids knocks on my door and it's not Halloween, I ain't opening it.

They look like VC Andrews made a movie with the people who did Annabelle.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

NewFatMike posted:

AFAIK Taurus semiautomatic pistols will fire for like... Literally no reason.

Those judge revolvers are fun. My grandpa and I will put in random rounds for each other at the gun range to kill an afternoon. No idea if there are reliability issues, though.

Not all, but it was a model that had been issued to Brazilian Police. IIRC, the same ones imported to the US didn't have that issue.

Taurus has really, REALLY spotty QC, and most of their Semiautos have other issues not as bad as 'fires when shook'.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

It's an old tattoo.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Picnic Princess posted:

You heard it here first folks, time to get fuckin wrecked

No Mods but Raccoon Mods.

Everytime my kids bring up bats, I always say a joke about them not being bugs. My kids have never read the comics, so to them it's just a dumb Dad joke. To me it's a great joke from an incredible comic that I still love.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

N. Senada posted:

Father bulletsponge, please stop calling and shouting bats aren’t bugs and then hanging up. Come home. We miss you

I still can't find the milk.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Tim Whatley posted:

What does Duke have to say about the foot beans

Nothing, because he's dead.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Looking at the picture of cow guy, that looks like a barracks room, so there is a good chance you guys are disparaging
ARE TROOPS.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010


Audible uses targetted ads. There's a reason duder got that ad.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

LadyPictureShow posted:

I immediately asked him 'What kinda depraved poo poo were you looking at to get that?"

He never replied.

A similar happened to a friend of mine. He posted a series of screenshots from Wish, that was gun stuff, lingerie, gun stuff, lingerie, butt plug, butt plug, butt plug. He asked "What the gently caress is up with Wish", and then got slammed in the comments about targetted ads.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

DandyLion posted:

Actually the average is just under 4 & 1/2 rooms.

I thought the average was 4 rooms? This is very concerning.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010


I understood absolutely none of this.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Raising children is raising a bipolar lunatic who spends the first five years of it's life trying to find creative and exciting methods of suicide.

Just getting them to eat something they actually enjoy can be a fight of blockbuster proportions. You get them to eat other poo poo when and how you can, make sure they take some vitamins, and let them eat chicken nuggets and waffles two meals a day for a year. Most kids grow out of those phases, unless there is some mental health issues.


E- Also, lying until they are older. We ate lots of "chicken" for a bit, because kids are stupid.

bulletsponge13 has a new favorite as of 18:42 on Oct 22, 2019

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

I know my daughter is dumb, but let's give her a loving chance.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

It's also their weirdo friends who are just like them. They walk to the flea market on Saturdays, spend their allowance on cheap rear end bladed implements and soft pretzels, then walk home and discuss what kind of sword is best.

Or something like that. Definitely not projecting.

Bad Movie Advice- a very close friend recommended we watch SLC Punk...about three months after my first wife died- of an accidental overdose.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

The Things They Carried Is Amazing and should be read by everyone.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Phy posted:

He's wearing the hat of that lout from Firefly

(caveat: I'm wearing the shirt of that lout from Firefly)

That Lout you refer to is the God drat Hero of Canton, and I'll appreciate it if you spoke of him with some respect.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Look at you guys who don't fight naked except for an ax, shield, and war paint made of Hot Pocket grease and Cheeto dust

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

T-man posted:

All clothing should be denim, leggings, warm socks, or underwear with a minimum of 10 cubic inches of storage a piece

underwear... with pockets

I am down with this poo poo. I didn't realize how loving dumb women's clothes were until I got married. I thought fake pockets on a sports coat were dumb. Jesus. Women get no pockets. Meanwhile, I have shorts with secret pockets. I have a pair of pants I've owned for over a year, and just found a pocket I didn't know was there.

Also, legging loving rule. Ladies got that poo poo right.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Sorry to bring back in women's clothing, but what the gently caress is happening with your sizes.
Men's might have a little more or less depending on manufacturing, but holy poo poo. How is the same label size so loving different with ladies?

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

I made the mistake of reading a bit of her Twitter. Her getting thrown out of a Bernie event was amusing, because they all knew not to feed into her bullshit.

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bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Pull up thread.

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