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pants that jerk you off
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Apr 22, 2018 08:05
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Stick your dick in a hornet's nest to make it bigger The hornet venom will cause your dick to swell and also make it numb all pleasurable sensations, increasing your stamina. Cut the orange tip off of your airsoft gun It will be basically indistinguishable from a real gun and you can use it to bluff your way out of potentially dangerous situations. Put an orange tip on the barrel of your real gun That way you can carry it around as if it were a harmless toy, so if someone is ever like "drop your weapon!" you can be like "oh, this? This is just a toy" and they won't make you drop it. Later you can shoot them when their guard is down. Use the terrorist hotline to report people who cut you off in traffic You just got into the fastlane to Gitmo, rear end in a top hat. Eat so many peas that your poo poo turns completely green Bag it and sell it as "alien poop" for $25 a bag. EZ money.
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Apr 22, 2018 08:08
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Always play as Painwheel in Skullgirls She can combo lock any character except Big Band and if your opponent plays Big Band then call them a gay human being over the mic until they quit the match, handing you the win by default. Always play as Blanka in Street Fighter He's rad as hell. Plant dragon's teeth in your front yard Overnight, a cadre of fearsome, fully-armed warriors will spring from the soil to obey your every command. Does not require a background check. Drink an invincibility potion I'm surprised more people don't try this TBH.
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Apr 22, 2018 08:13
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Catch thousands of flies and release them into your workspace Pretty soon, the CEO will offer half his company as well as his daughter's hand in marriage to any man who can rid him of this plague of flies. All you have to do then is trigger the tiny explosive collars you secretly attached to each fly and claim the reward. Cut the toes off all your socks to make "sandal socks." Pretty self-explanatory. Gather some lava in a bucket and bring it to your home You can use the lava as a garbage disposal to instantly incinerate any unwanted items. Swallow a football for mega-huge farts Let the football pass most of the way through your digestive system. When it's just barely peeking out your butt, jab the exposed pigskin with a steak knife, releasing the trapped air for a gigantic fart.
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Apr 22, 2018 08:21
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Only play as Chaotic Neutral characters in D&D Chaotic Neutral means spontaneous and unpredictable at all times, so your party will love to have you around being wacky and random. Bonus points if you're a Rogue, because now you can try to steal everything regardless of the circumstances. Adapt your character based on a copypasta you saw like Sir Bearrington if you're having trouble.
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Apr 22, 2018 08:37
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Need some quick and cheap advertising for your business? Brutally murder someone on the premises for massive news coverage!
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Apr 22, 2018 08:50
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Applewhite posted:Catch thousands of flies and release them into your workspace I work for the government.
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Apr 22, 2018 08:54
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Get an extra set of keys, wallet and cellphone. Place them on your desk at work and then leave the office to do whatever. Everyone will see your stuff on your desk and assume you are somewhere in the building, leaving you free to play hooky.
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Apr 22, 2018 08:56
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cum in your own mouth after getting a nut, why waste the calories?
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Apr 22, 2018 09:10
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The Dennis System posted:I work for the government. the principle is the same.
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Apr 22, 2018 09:11
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Teikanmi posted:cum in your own mouth Pro hacks itt
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Apr 22, 2018 09:11
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Polish your balls in the bowling alley ball polisher No sense paying for a personal machine when the ball polisher at the bowling alley is free. Swallow a seed crystal It will slowly convert all the liquid in your body to crystal and then you can sell your crystalline body parts for millions. Pee your pants on the bus No one will want to sit next to you and you can have the whole row to yourself. Eat 6 cups of uncooked rice And wash it down with scalding hot water. Instant meal.
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Apr 22, 2018 09:20
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Find a bowling alley. Light it on fire. Shoot everyone that comes out. Instant success! Also, shoot your dog in the head
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Apr 22, 2018 09:44
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the baby danger - if you see someone else's baby, you can't just take it that is a crime
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Apr 22, 2018 09:57
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rare rat repellent rats hate being screamed at! follow the rats around for a bit, screaming. find their home
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Apr 22, 2018 10:03
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the police trick take their gun
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Apr 22, 2018 10:11
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Binder clip foreskin trick Snap one of those black binder clips onto the end of your dick to seal in urine and cum for later use.
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Apr 22, 2018 10:22
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Separate the earth from the fire This ascends from the earth into the sky and again descends from the sky to the earth, and receives the power and efficacy of things above and of things below. By this means you will acquire the glory of the whole world, and so you will drive away all shadows and blindness.
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Apr 22, 2018 10:48
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Poop in a Toilet Tired of looking at and smelling your old, discarded poops? Thinking ‘if I step on another old poop I’m gonna go nuts!’? Just put the poop (via trained and precise butt alignment) in the toilet! Flushing, a step for advanced users, is optional.
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Apr 22, 2018 11:13
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Applewhite posted:Binder clip foreskin trick This also works for blood!
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Apr 22, 2018 11:15
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Applewhite posted:If you're ever hard up for a humorous life hack, make a joke about the Konami Code and laugh about how absurd it would be if a videogame cheat code could work in real life and make you immune to the harsh memories of childhood traumas. fun fact; you can do the konami code irl by jumping and ducking and turning side to side. start is when you grab your benis and yell START
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Apr 22, 2018 11:19
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Applewhite posted:Always play as Painwheel in Skullgirls Applewhite posted:Always play as Painwheel in Skullgirls Applewhite posted:Catch thousands of flies and release them into your workspace these are all real good
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Apr 22, 2018 11:27
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Never stop spinning around Get on one of those really fast playground merry go rounds they don't make any more because of how dangerously fast they spin. Spin around on it for the rest of your life. The centripetal force will fling all your waste away and the wind vortex created by your spin will draw insects and small birds into your mouth for nourishment.
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Apr 22, 2018 11:38
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Wear goose swarming pheromone as perfume It's one of the most beautiful and enticing scents you will ever experience and is guaranteed to get you laid. The near certainty that you will constantly be attacked by flocks of geese in a psychotic berzerker rage is a small price to pay.
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Apr 22, 2018 11:52
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Cut off your Nose to Spite your Face Hate your stupid, ugly face? Take matters into your own hands and cut off your nose - that'll show it who's the boss around here!
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Apr 22, 2018 11:54
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Pee While you Poop Tired of standing in line at the public bathroom... and then going back in the same line just to pee after you've pooped?!? You're not alone! While it may be against the law and a felony in most states, you can train yourself to pee while you poop.
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Apr 22, 2018 12:00
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Have a lot of money So many people don't know how much easier it is to have a lot of money than to have very little money. It makes everything better.
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Apr 22, 2018 12:14
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Universe Master posted:Have a lot of money
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Apr 22, 2018 12:17
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Become a celebrity instantly By coating yourself in tungsten and becoming the first “human cannonball” to be fired from a railgun into orbit
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Apr 22, 2018 12:21
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If you're out of cereal and milk, pour doritos into a bowl and eat it with mountain dew
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Apr 22, 2018 12:39
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The keyhole trick Peep through a keyhole into a woman's dressing room to see her naked without her knowing.
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Apr 22, 2018 12:41
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Put on your Pants One Leg at a Time While it is always tempting to 'go for the gusto' and put on pants both legs at once, scientists have shown through repeat experiments that this is a leading indicator of ear cancer. It's consequential - so be sequential!
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Apr 22, 2018 12:43
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The fat rear end trick Eat nothing but excessive amounts of junk food and never exercise until you get hugely fat and get to ride a scooter everywhere.
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Apr 22, 2018 12:45
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Keep a Beer in the Toilet Tank Hey, you never know!
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Apr 22, 2018 12:47
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The eating rear end trick If you're nervous about eating rear end, chew a stick of gum beforehand and then spit it into your partner's rear end in a top hat so it tastes minty fresh while you lick it.
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Apr 22, 2018 12:47
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poo poo where you eat Don't listen to the naysayers, you can have a tv tray near the toilet and do two things at once.
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Apr 22, 2018 12:48
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Infinite gas mileage trick Turn your odomoeter forward with a power drill to improve your car's fuel efficiency rating and thus increase your car's retail value.
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Apr 22, 2018 12:53
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Invest in Bitcoin You may have heard of the alien technology sent backwards in time from the far future, called 'blockchain.' Top scientists and psychics have proved that by melding ourselves into the blockchain, we can shuffle off the coils of mortality and become as gods. This is good for Bitcoin.
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Apr 22, 2018 12:56
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Infinite skeleton trick If you place a barrel with a skeleton inside right on the edge of a geyser so that the barrel is only just grazed by the geyser's spray, the next time the geyser erupts it will cause the barrel to launch the skeleton out at high speed. Clipping the side of the barrel will cause the geyser eruption animation to reset before it's complete and it will erupt again immediately, launching another skeleton even though the barrel should be empty. It may take several tries to egt the barrel placement right but once you do, you should be able to spawn hundreds of skeletons a minute. Does not work with "bonedead shambler" type skeletons because their launching animation is three frames shorter and it doesn't trigger the reset.
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Apr 22, 2018 13:00
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 18:25 |
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Eggs for dinner trick If you don't eat the fried eggs you cooked for breakfast, you can place them in the fridge and eat them for dinner instead!
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Apr 22, 2018 13:04
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