Can any "Chads" out there describe their life?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Can any "Chads" out there describe their life?

pap smear: Jan 21, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

Dr. Quarex posted:

Every morning I wake up and open-palm slam a Chad into a Stacy

I remember thinking I would die a virgin in my early 20s and being pretty O.K. with that, and a few years later was having threesomes and felt almost exactly the same amount of O.K. with that. I am a ... oh god I was going to make a joke but then I read these posts about about Sigma Males and looked into it and what the hell is going on when did I get a category god dammit now I want to stop being terribly mysterious *angrily throws down bag of Cheetos*

You and I both know we can never stop being mysterious. Once you've tasted how much that lifestyle owns, you're stuck keeping others in a kafkaesque shroud of obfuscation for the rest of your days.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:19

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 15:46

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

pap smear posted:

You and I both know we can never stop being mysterious. Once you've tasted how much that lifestyle owns, you're stuck keeping others in a kafkaesque shroud of obfuscation for the rest of your days.

Do you talk with your eyes closed?

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:20

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

pap smear posted:

You and I both know we can never stop being mysterious. Once you've tasted how much that lifestyle owns, you're stuck keeping others in a kafkaesque shroud of obfuscation for the rest of your days.

onoooo

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:20

pap smear: Jan 21, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

Salty Josh posted:

What's a sigma dick?

I think it's a meme way to spell "smegma dick"

Salty Josh posted:

Do you talk with your eyes closed?

How did you know?

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:22

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

pap smear posted:

I think it's a meme way to spell "smegma dick"

How did you know?

What the gently caress is smegma?

Oh and yeh, I figured you did. Since you know so much.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:23

pap smear: Jan 21, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

Salty Josh posted:

What the gently caress is smegma?

Wait are you serious?

Uncircumcized dick cheese, man.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:23

weg: Jun 6, 2006; Reassisted Retrogression

Silently Tormenting Autistic Channers Yolo

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:24

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

pap smear posted:

Wait are you serious?

Uncircumcized dick cheese, man.

Yeah, I wiki'd it.

Kinda regret it to be honest.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:24

myDad: Jan 20, 2010; ce n'est pas ma m�re; College Slice

pap smear posted:

What if I'm a sigma male?

hmm

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:25

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

i donut careen if i live or dii

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:25

pap smear: Jan 21, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

Ironically Not Chad, Everybody Laughs

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:25

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Pick posted:

i donut careen if i live or dii

...

...

...you spelled die wrong.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:26

pap smear: Jan 21, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

I'm ready to careen into some donuts myself, I donut know about you guys :grin:

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:27

Eox: Jun 20, 2010; by Fluffdaddy

Seems To Abhor CHUD Yammering

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:27

curlys gold: Jan 17, 2018

i killed a bird with my face and an entire roller coaster full of women wanted to have my child

all in a day�s work

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:30

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Literally A Person posted:

...

...

...you spelled die wrong.

shoulda died on his porch instead of having gifts there and one time surprising him with a human skull. tried so hard to be spontaneous.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:31

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Pick posted:

shoulda died on his porch instead of having gifts there and one time surprising him with a human skull. tried so hard to be spontaneous.

Spontaneity means there must be warm flesh on the skull.

You were close.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:33

pap smear: Jan 21, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

Pick posted:

shoulda died on his porch instead of having gifts there and one time surprising him with a human skull. tried so hard to be spontaneous.

This whole story is just the result of a non-stacey trying to hook up with a chad. That's just how it strikes me, as a sociolocel.

Yes, we all know the existence of non-stacey :females:

is a hotly debated, controversial topic. But here on SA, you know, we're a progressive leaning forum, so I think that it's pretty universally accepted here that maybe there are a handful of :females:

in this world who aren't cock carousel riding she-sluts. I mean, do we have any evidence to the contrary that this so called "hugh" isn't actually a prime example of a Chad Thundercock? I don't think so. I think we only have the word of this non-stacey to go off of.

Just a hypothesis, my fellow gooncels.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:36

Papa Emeritus III: Jul 7, 2017; [A MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

Dat's Pussy Trap, bitch!

_{_{Deal with it.}}

i like that posted:

Chad
The name Chad is a baby boy name.

Anglo-Saxon Meaning:
The name Chad is an Anglo-Saxon baby name. In Anglo-Saxon the meaning of the name Chad is: Name of a saint.

Celtic Meaning:
The name Chad is a Celtic baby name. In Celtic the meaning of the name Chad is: Defence.

English Meaning:
The name Chad is an English baby name. In English the meaning of the name Chad is: Protector; defender. English form of a Welsh name meaning battle or warring. Famous bearer: 7th- century bishop St Chad founded the Samaritans, a charitable organization providing service for the suicidal and despairing.

Numerology

SoulUrge Number: 1
People with this name have a deep inner desire to use their abilities in leadership, and to have personal independence. They would rather focus on large, important issues, and delegate the details.

Expression Number: 7
People with this name are excellent at analyzing, understanding, and learning. They tend to be mystics, philosophers, scholars, and teachers. Because they live so much in the mind, they tend to be quiet and introspective, and are usually introverts. When presented with issues, they will see the larger picture. Their solitary thoughtfulness and analysis of people and world events may make them seem aloof, and sometimes even melancholy.

I love these. Being named something is what shapes your personality? Science! :eng101:

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:37

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Literally A Person posted:

Spontaneity means there must be warm flesh on the skull.

You were close.

I'll die knowing I failed :shrug:

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:46

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Pick posted:

I'll die knowing I failed

...well geez, Pick. Is there any silver lining?

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:48

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Is there no Tanner out there for you?

Sure he's no Chad, but he can help.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:48

pap smear: Jan 21, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

CAn someone give me a quicc rundown on this tanner meme I keep seeing? Preferably in emoji/emotispeak?

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:51

curlys gold: Jan 17, 2018

pap smear posted:

CAn someone give me a quicc rundown on this tanner meme I keep seeing? Preferably in emoji/emotispeak?

full house is back

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:55

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Literally A Person posted:

...well geez, Pick. Is there any silver lining?

Someday I get to die and then it doesn't matter.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:57

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Pick posted:

Someday I get to die and then it doesn't matter.

...

...

.........um, that's bad.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:58

Eox: Jun 20, 2010; by Fluffdaddy

this is why i like SA, goons and goonettes standing in solidarity over getting sporadically and awkwardly laid

# ? Apr 25, 2018 04:59

pap smear: Jan 21, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

That's why I reject/ignore every woman that comes on to me. Can't have awkward first sex if we never have sex. I've loving beaten it bros, I've loving won the game.

pap smear fucked around with this message at 05:03 on Apr 25, 2018

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:01

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Literally A Person posted:

...

...

.........um, that's bad.

I'll die sooner than most people my age too :toot:

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:01

BONE DOG: Jun 7, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

I have never gone more than a month without loving someone since I lost my virginity

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:05

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Pick posted:

I'll die sooner than most people my age too

Pick, are you drinking?

Just sayin'.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:06

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

BONE DOG posted:

I have never gone more than a month without loving someone since I lost my virginity

My wife and I just had a baby. That six weeks was the longest I ever put in.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:07

spinderella: Jul 15, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

BONE DOG posted:

I have never gone more than a month without loving someone since I lost my virginity

rear end in a top hat

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:07

pap smear: Jan 21, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

BONE DOG posted:

I have never gone more than a month without loving someone since I lost my virginity

Username post combo

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:07

spinderella: Jul 15, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

Literally A Person posted:

My wife and I just had a baby. That six weeks was the longest I ever put in.

Oh god

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:07

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

Literally A Person posted:

My wife and I just had a baby. That six weeks was the longest I ever put in.

Congratulations man.

On the baby part, not the six weeks out.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:08

spinderella: Jul 15, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

Well I had poo poo happen to me and it's been a while
THATS WHY IM A MONSTER
but situation will be remedied v soon

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:09

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Spinster posted:

Oh god

It was not particularly fun.

But it is done and I am once again enjoying marital relations.

Salty Josh posted:

Congratulations man.

On the baby part, not the six weeks out.

Thanks! He's currently crying at us while my wife reads him the Silmarillion.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:09

Cyberpunkey Monkey: Jun 23, 2003; by Nyc_Tattoo

pap smear posted:

You and I both know we can never stop being mysterious. Once you've tasted how much that lifestyle owns, you're stuck keeping others in a kafkaesque shroud of obfuscation for the rest of your days.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:10

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 15:46

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Spinster posted:

Well I had poo poo happen to me and it's been a while
THATS WHY IM A MONSTER
but situation will be remedied v soon

Get it, girl.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 05:10

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