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Help me settle a family argument. My brothers and I stand up and wipe from front to back. Our parents are breaking hell loose and saying we're no kids of theirs because they stay sat down and wipe from back to front. What's up with that? What are the pros and cons of your rear end wiping strategy?
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Apr 24, 2018 21:47
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 05:29 |
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the correct way
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Apr 24, 2018 21:49
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I wipe to the sides until my rear end looks like the jokers mouth That reminds me of the time my wife was doing reverse cowgirl and she had some TP stuck in her chute which then got transferred to the area right above my shaft
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Apr 24, 2018 21:49
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stand up. bottom to top. then i create a sort of pipe cleaner out of the toilet paper and probe myself until i'm really cleaned out. sometimes extra moisture is required.
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Apr 24, 2018 21:49
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any answer other than "bidet" outs you as a subhuman tread careful
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Apr 24, 2018 21:49
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Very carefully
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Apr 24, 2018 21:49
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What the gently caress are you standing up for? Surely you then need to bend right over to spread your cheeks again? Whereas if you stay sitting you can just lift one leg slightly
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Apr 24, 2018 21:50
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Wait, I thought we were supposed to use our tongues.
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Apr 24, 2018 21:51
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Rad-daddio posted:Wait, I thought we were supposed to use our tongues. we're not? this very distressing
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Apr 24, 2018 21:52
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Nary carefully you stupid fuckman
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Apr 24, 2018 21:52
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 this is a pro move, only top tier shitters can pull it off
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Apr 24, 2018 21:53
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lol
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Apr 24, 2018 21:53
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Bardeh posted:What the gently caress are you standing up for? Surely you then need to bend right over to spread your cheeks again? Whereas if you stay sitting you can just lift one leg slightly Ya but then you're scrubbing the detritus towards your sacred parts? If you stand up you have a fighting chance of wiping it away and any solidified stragglers fall into the pan.
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Apr 24, 2018 21:53
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Bardeh posted:
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Apr 24, 2018 21:54
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I pay others
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Apr 24, 2018 21:54
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Theophany posted:Ya but then you're scrubbing the detritus towards your sacred parts? If you stand up you have a fighting chance of wiping it away and any solidified stragglers fall into the pan. i think you need to take a bum wiping course m8, something's gone terribly wrong somewhere
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Apr 24, 2018 21:56
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fold paper wipe back to front look at it look at it real close
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Apr 24, 2018 21:56
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i fold the (very expensive, high quality) toilet paper along the perforations then go fron to back, fold then back to front, repeat and sip sherry as I go.
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Apr 24, 2018 21:56
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.
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Apr 24, 2018 21:57
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When there's no more room in the comedy gas chamber, the shitposts will walk the forums
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Apr 24, 2018 21:57
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i dont
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Apr 24, 2018 21:58
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Bardeh posted:i think you need to take a bum wiping course m8, something's gone terribly wrong somewhere I have been looking into this but the costs are quite prohibitive.
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Apr 24, 2018 21:58
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On a German shelf or into my hand
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Apr 24, 2018 21:58
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stand up ball paper shove in rear end w/ thumb so it looks like a badminton birdie
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Apr 24, 2018 21:58
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Apr 24, 2018 21:59
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I've been reading a lot on Reddit about the seashell method but the instructions are quite vague?
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Apr 24, 2018 21:59
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Look at this guy who doesn't know about the three seashells e: fuk u
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Apr 24, 2018 21:59
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ElectricSheep posted:Look at this guy who doesn't know about the three seashells Lol
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Apr 24, 2018 22:00
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paperless life hack- apply hand soap/shampoo
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Apr 24, 2018 22:01
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i just jump in the shower and wash my booty properly. i have trained my body to only poop at home on a proper schedule
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Apr 24, 2018 22:02
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One wad, no look
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Apr 24, 2018 22:02
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curlys gold posted:paperless life hack- Yes, but back to front or front to back? This is the circle I'm trying to square rn.
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Apr 24, 2018 22:02
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Your mom taught me how to pucker my butthole the perfect amount so I never even have to check
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Apr 24, 2018 22:03
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ElectricSheep posted:Look at this guy who doesn't know about the three seashells fined for cussing
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Apr 24, 2018 22:03
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Hector Beerlioz posted:fined for cussing drat, so lazy
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Apr 24, 2018 22:05
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Theophany posted:Yes, but back to front or front to back? This is the circle I'm trying to square rn. you put the soap on the side of your hand and sort of just karate chop your taint
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Apr 24, 2018 22:06
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front to backand smear my balls with my poo poo
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Apr 24, 2018 22:08
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I let my dog eat it out of my rear end in a top hat
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Apr 24, 2018 22:09
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leave stall door open stand up and turn around leaving pants around ankles pull your shirt front up, hold it with chin, and lean backwards wave the paper around just above your anus and grunt
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Apr 24, 2018 22:12
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 05:29 |
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I swallow half a roll of TP and then sit on the poop throne for 24 hours until it passes through my gullet, upon which I pull that bitch right out the old bumhole for a full colonic cleanse.
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Apr 24, 2018 22:13
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