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SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



Once upon a time, Konami used to release lots of games, sometimes even ones of slightly experimental nature.

So, one day they decided to hit the world with an action game about a protagonist who cannot die while slicing up enemies across destructible levels to some kick-rear end Megadeth soundtrack.

Then they realised that the players might die of too much fun, and a contingency plan was put into motion.

The plan was successful, in that Neverdead was mostly rated (well) below 7/10, and is currently the 20th worst-rated PS3 action title on GameFAQs. And there's some fierce competition there.

1UP review posted:

NeverDead is a game, and it can be completed.

Good enough for me!




Still, there are some positives, like nice visual design, and the loud music drowning out the speech and the explosions. Also, it's not Knights Contract.

As for the story, it's a dumb action movie plot with a few twists, such a-



OK, I'll shut up.
Well then...


















SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at Jun 5, 2018 around 16:15

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SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



Even an immortal man needs a job.



Prologue and Asylum, Part 1


It's refreshing to see a character with a proper fashion sense for once.

SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at Apr 29, 2018 around 06:15

Solumin
Jan 11, 2013






I'm going to follow this LP based solely on this image.

BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.

Wow, Bryce is such a ~charmer~.

anilEhilated
Feb 17, 2014

But I say fuck the rain.


Grimey Drawer

The Black Knight: The Game.
Sounds good to me.

Ramos
Jul 3, 2012




I remember hearing about this once from Zero Punctuation and then never again. And yeah, our companion is lame as gently caress.

Oh well, will be following this weirdness.

EasilyConfused
Nov 21, 2009


Ramos posted:

I remember hearing about this once from Zero Punctuation and then never again.

Same, except it was Unskippable.

Ratoslov
Feb 15, 2012

Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!



I'm really not digging the banter here. Bryce is terrible, but so is Arcadia.

SSNeoman
Jul 19, 2011




Bryce kinda grows on you especially once you understand his story. He is just extremely done with this poo poo.
Arcadia will never cease to be bitchy. And useless. Those skills she showed off in the intro cutscene never show up during gameplay.

SSNeoman fucked around with this message at Apr 29, 2018 around 17:47

Chronische
Aug 7, 2012



I'll stick around just for that goofy demonlord type guy. Arcadia is extremely annoying, Bryce less so since his annoying traits are mostly resignation rather than outright hateful attitude and actions. Not to mention the general distasteful nature of being a (what seems like) permanent escort companion who is useless.

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011


It looks kinda fun when framerate slowdown and screen tearing aren't rearing their ugly heads. But then we still haven't seen the biggest problem of the game besides Arcadia being terrible, hopefully the goofy demon from the intro makes up for it somewhat later.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



Let's find out how to ruin a perfectly decent game.



Asylum, Part 2


The deadliest threat.

Ramos
Jul 3, 2012




Wow, that death was... uh, sudden.

This really strikes me as a game that, if you want to play with immortality, should consider alternate means of losing the game. Time limits, for example. Kill demons fast before a hole to Hell opens up or whatever. Granted, that would still result in frustrating play where your head keeps popping off seemingly at random and then you're just flailing about to get your limbs back together.

I think the core design might just be flawed.

Kaboom Dragoon
May 7, 2010

The greatest of feasts

This is one of those games I always meant to pick up, but never did. It reminds me a lot of games on the PS2 like Nanobreaker, Bloodrayne, games that had something to them but, for whatever reason, just never came together in the end. I've always had a soft spot for those kind of games, and this definitely hits many of the same notes those games did for me.

Deadmeat5150
Nov 21, 2005

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN


So tradeoff for not dying is your indestructible pieces are held together by wet Elmers glue? That kind of a lovely deal. Although its cool your magic body also sews your cloths back together.

Chronische
Aug 7, 2012



Deadmeat5150 posted:

So tradeoff for not dying is your indestructible pieces are held together by wet Elmers glue? That kind of a lovely deal. Although its cool your magic body also sews your cloths back together.

And your arms reappear with a gun. Very handy!

Quicksilver6
Mar 21, 2008



Hair Elf

But couldn't you just regenerate inside the thing and explode out of it?

Or, heck, mixing it with the time limit idea, what if being captured took like an hour off of a doomsday clock with varying amounts of doomsday time per difficulty? I don't really see what eldritch power is keeping you captured in there.

I know we all hate time limits, but I was thinking more of a generic Spiderman vs King-pin esque "You have way more time than you'd ever need unless you die 12+ times on every level."

E: While I'm at it, if I understand correctly, that is the ONLY enemy that can do that? Bosses have no special "I'm glowing red, grr, argh look out" attack? And you get swarmed with lovely Kirbys? If they at least fought each other over who gets to eat the head that would give you a chance to find your body without doing QTE shenanigans...

Quicksilver6 fucked around with this message at Apr 30, 2018 around 20:34

lofi
Apr 2, 2018



Holy poo poo, the writing in this game would make an animu blush.

SSNeoman
Jul 19, 2011




Quicksilver6 posted:

But couldn't you just regenerate inside the thing and explode out of it?

IIRC they justify by saying that it's a dimensional pocket or something. It's dumb.

Quicksilver6 posted:

E: While I'm at it, if I understand correctly, that is the ONLY enemy that can do that? Bosses have no special "I'm glowing red, grr, argh look out" attack? And you get swarmed with lovely Kirbys? If they at least fought each other over who gets to eat the head that would give you a chance to find your body without doing QTE shenanigans...

In order,
Yup.
They do but it won't make you game over, just make you fall apart completely.
Yup, and they constantly respawn.

Ramos
Jul 3, 2012




SSNeoman posted:

In order,
Yup.
They do but it won't make you game over, just make you fall apart completely.
Yup, and they constantly respawn.

Oh come, the could have at least made the bosses have their own kill moves. It could have made for some dynamic fights if you gently caress up.

SSNeoman
Jul 19, 2011




Ramos posted:

Oh come, the could have at least made the bosses have their own kill moves. It could have made for some dynamic fights if you gently caress up.

This game is veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery against giving the player power for reasons I cannot understand. Like OP isn't kidding, those loving spawners? They are the bane of your existence.The best strategy I found for them is (if there are no red barrels available) is to circle straif around them and slicing up all the yellow bits. Then keep waling on it until it dies. Hitting one spot will take three times as long to kill the drat things. The sad thing is that the game is pretty fun when you don't need to do that poo poo. Like goddamn I have walls getting blown up and explosions everywhere, I need nothing else.

The Swordpig fight is actually really cool if the game ever informed you that you can cut off the thing's legs. It makes the fight go by a lot faster than shooting it. It also slows it down and stops it from using some of its more annoying moves (it had this real bullshit spin IIRC which it never did but I was playing the game on hard).

Quicksilver6
Mar 21, 2008



Hair Elf

I feel like the hero should have been one of those Crash Test Dummy robots from that old cartoon...

queserasera
Jul 10, 2014

These high-G injections have some serious side effects after pulling so many jumps.


Quicksilver6 posted:

But couldn't you just regenerate inside the thing and explode out of it?

That would've been a great gameplay mechanic. Or being able to use your body parts as weapons. The sword and guns just seem so boring.

I watched the first half with the sound off and the second half with the sound on. I kinda wish the smooth-talking boss was our sidekick instead of Arcadia. The dialogue and voice acting are painful.

So there are multiple immortal monster-killers? That sounds like interesting worldbuilding and as such the game won't go into it at all.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



Introducing a mechanic which would have been oh so handy in the previous level.



Museum, Part 1


Spoon!

OutofSight
May 4, 2017


Is there some "rich and engaging lore" why this city is overrun by demons and can only be defeated by some jaded immortal knight and his bitchy eye-candy partner?

Ramos
Jul 3, 2012




I don't know, that seems like standard action game stuff. One dude, the person he chats with, and half a million things to kill.

Speaking about the spawner puzzle thing, if this was a bit more platinum-esque, a fun way to handle them would have been to require doing a sufficient string of combos. Except that doesn't really work if you're getting mobbed by enemies being spawned anyway. The spawners really seem like a bad idea.

SSNeoman
Jul 19, 2011




I don't blame you for using guns on the Swordpig, I just remember that on hard difficulty they do jackshit to his weakpoint

And I hated that trophy. Arcadia can destroy the exhibits and the tougher enemies means that you need to collapse walls on them. Plus wreaking stuff is fun!
God this game just has such bad design

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me


The villain in the intro had a prominent pink nose. It looked to me in the start of this last video that our ASMR boss has a reddish nose. So I think he's the demon in disguise, pranking Bryce with poo poo jobs.

Ratoslov
Feb 15, 2012

Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!



This game is remarkably unpleasant. The combat's grating, the gimmicks are annoying and the characters are so very desperate to come off as cool. I wonder why they made this game.

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.

Ratoslov posted:

This game is remarkably unpleasant. The combat's grating, the gimmicks are annoying and the characters are so very desperate to come off as cool. I wonder why they made this game.

Still better than Knight's Contract. At least these people have character.

BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.

In the scaffold where you learned to tear off your head, there was a red transport tube at the top - if you tossed your head in there would a collectible have been there? That would have been a clever place to hide one.

Keldulas
Mar 18, 2009


I just got into the thread and I'm really surprised no one mentioned how in the intro Bryce is just brandishing that sword around and he has no guns, then in gameplay he randomly gets guns and there's no sword anywhere? What the hell? You can't even excuse it as 'they didn't want to make melee combat' as Bryce in the modern day still has a sword anyways.

So i already want to shoot Arcadia in the face and the camera work looks absolutely nauseating. This is definitely not an auspicious start.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



Previously, the cutscenes indicated this was the only museum in town. I hope it's not the case.



Museum, Part 2


You want more insufferable characters, you say?

OutofSight
May 4, 2017


Peachy. Now you get two bitchy anime waifus, who question our protagonist's bad life choices for the price of one poorly developed game.

Character design is still solid, but i somehow think Sangria deserved a game with better gameplay to show up in.

OutofSight fucked around with this message at May 4, 2018 around 19:06

Ratoslov
Feb 15, 2012

Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!



Wow, someone less likable than Arcadia.

azren
Feb 13, 2011




marshmallow creep posted:

The villain in the intro had a prominent pink nose. It looked to me in the start of this last video that our ASMR boss has a reddish nose. So I think he's the demon in disguise, pranking Bryce with poo poo jobs.

I would love this.



I still can't get over this guy...

Keldulas
Mar 18, 2009


Honestly the demon design kind of points out to how unfocused the game is. I do love it for just how ridiculous it is, but it really feels like a design that belongs in something a lot more light-hearted than what we currently have. Bryce sounds like he's honestly and truly miserable with his lot in life, and Arcadia just comes off as a sadistic bitch, what with telling him to just do incredibly painful things and just shooting him for being a bit snarky. Combine with blatantly expositionary dialogue peppered in at random and I can't remotely enjoy the story.

Hel
Oct 9, 2012

Jokatgulm is tedium.
Jokatgulm is pain.
Jokatgulm is suffering.


I love the idea of the contrast between young Bryce being this idealistic funny hero & older Bryce being a cynical rear end in a top hat, but the execution of it leaves a ton to be desired. That actually sums up a lot of what we've seen so far interesting ideas, awful execution, they really needed an editor or something to tell them that some things should be cut or reworked.

Yapping Eevee
Nov 12, 2011

STAND TOGETHER.
FIGHT WITH HONOR.
RESTORE BALANCE.

Eevees play for free.


Soiled Meat

For all the game's faults, one thing they certainly didn't skimp on is the voice acting talent. Jamieson Price and Liam O'Brien are both here, and the rest of the folks are pretty prolific too.

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Solumin
Jan 11, 2013




OK, the bit with shoving Nikki into the sarcophagus was kind of hilarious. Reminded me a little of RE4.

The combat looks so bad. The sword has no flow to it, and the guns have no finesse -- there's no gunplay, just hold down the triggers and wave them around.

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