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Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
Marisnick and Stanton are determined to make this a reality

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Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

STAC Goat posted:

Yeah, that was seriously a post meltdown meltdown for the books.

https://twitter.com/tomhanslin/status/991511021159374848

Should have hit harder and put himself on the DL imo

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

mcmagic posted:

Did this guy see what Giles did the previous game after getting the last out?

Giles also did his dumb hulk celebration last night after striking out Stanton, despite the fact that it was his first out and he allowed a double and a single right before it.

The man is a moron.

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Carlosologist posted:

Yeah, I can’t get over that insane display last night. Why did he punch himself in the face? He could totally break his hand!

Giles strikes me as an insecure man with deep anger issues who goes to sleep each night watching Billy Wagner entrance videos

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

shirts and skins posted:

That being said, we have to play the Astros like 30 more times

All you have to do is score more than one run and you’ll be fine. We can’t hit anyone who isn’t an A’s or White Sox starter.

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Big Mean Jerk fucked around with this message at 02:24 on May 3, 2018

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

seiferguy posted:

James Paxton K'd 16 A's thru 7, and got pulled :(

Nicasio went in and proceeded to give up a dinger to give Paxton a no decision. loving baseball.

Nice to see the Astros starting a national trend

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Carlosologist posted:

N: Took 3 of 4 from the defending champs and managed to beat three of the best starters in the AL


V: https://twitter.com/Jomboy_/status/992153801111912448

I really need the Yanks to trade Judge and Didi so I no longer have to feel the teensiest bit bad for hating them

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
Pujols was one of those players you grow to irrationally hate as a kid, based purely on his ability to make your pitchers look like chumps.

I despised the Cardinals growing up.

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

beejay posted:

Well this is it, the post that makes me feel really old

If it makes you feel any better I hated Chipper Jones first :shrug:

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Comptroll The Forums posted:

lol do his legs not work, or something?

D-Backs have a bullpen cart this year

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
The Yankees are only good in a statistical sense. Morally, they’re still evil.

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Zigmidge posted:

In my travels around MLB.tv this past April it occured to me that I might be a secret yankees fan.

Hear me out, this isn't because of the rad team or their good baseballing but because YES seems to be one of few broadcasters that refuses to put entertainment bullshit in their broadcasts to distract from calling a ballgame.

I'd prefer to watch more Astros coverage instead of the Yankees but their broadcaster is simply the worst offender for poo poo that seems to scream "Yes, we agree, baseball is boring. Instead of baseball, here's a lady in the train telling us all about being in that train for three innings straight".

From what I've seen I can say Sportsnet, YES, NESN, and more or less all of the Fox regionals are fine, while Astros (NBC?), MLB.TV and Facebook are the worst. I'd like to experience them all this season but then I'd have to watch the Marlins or Royals... How would you rate other broadcasters in terms of how much they secretly hate baseball?

While I agree with you about Kalas and Blum being morons who can’t call the games, Julia is actually the best part of the team. She called a few spring training games and she’s much more competent than those other two.

They really should have Blum as the “Idiot in the stands” broadcaster.

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
St Louis doesn’t deserve Fowler :argh:

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Kevlar v2.0 posted:

He is part of one of the best baseball gifs of all time



Also, it's really nice to see the Cubs take out all their frustrations from the past 5 games tonight on the Marlins. :allears:

Everything about this looks like it’s from a movie or video game :allears:

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

MrMojok posted:

Judge looks like a golem or something and it’s actually pretty creepy. It would legit be unsettling to be in the room with him.

Stanton’s extreme closed stance and his short, ugly, powerful swing remind one of an automaton designed totally without concern for aesthetic value. Efficient and hideous.

So yeah Yankees fans, have fun with your great team and your titanic, ugly freaks I guess.

I hate the Yankees as much as the next guy, but Judge looks like a human being genetically designed to enjoy hitting baseballs. I mean, how can you not at least find amusement in his giant gap-toothed grin as he destroys pitches?

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Tom Gorman posted:

I've been watching a ton of baseball with my girlfriend this year hoping she'll kinda get into it. She went into the season pretty much blind as a non-sports fan, and thus far is consistently able to recall and identify

- Dexter Fowler
- Yadier Molina
- Mookie Betts
- Thor
- Jose Altuve (the little guy)
- Kris Bryant (because he's a dream hunk)
- "That douchey looking guy" (Bryce Harper)

My theory is that fans who have no exposure to baseball will remember people with unusual names/nicknames, hunky dreamboats or guys who "look like douchebags". I guess it makes sense, in a way.

I want Altuve to be a household name so badly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_0liJCPIj4

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
Hinch is very into weird shifts this year

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

This game is free for Xbox Live Gold right now and I highly recommend it. It’s not the greatest, but it’s goofy as hell and you can make an entire roster of fat guys and name them the Beefalos.

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
Well done, Verlander :cripes:

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

canadianclassic posted:

I love Cano and it's super lovely that we're gonna lose him but given the versatility of Dee Gordon and the depth in the outfield this miiight not be the end of our hope. An OF or 2B rental should mitigate it pretty well.

Are there any good CF rental candidates out there?

edit: also Jean Segura owns

You can have Jake Marisnick for a couple orders of grasshoppers

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

MrMidnight posted:

He's in the minors now. Its about time.

Ouch. Wonder who they’ll call up (please not AJ Reed).

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

the popes toes posted:

Here's the historical leaderboard for HBP. It's interesting. hahah Chase Utley leads all time history at number 8 for HBP.

The leader at number 1 is some old timey guy named Hughie Jennings, nice trivia question.


https://www.baseball-reference.com/leaders/HBP_career.shtml

No matter how many times I see it, it still amazes me that we have detailed stats for players dating back to the 1880s and 1890s. You’d think that kind of minutiae would have been lost to time.

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

“But uh, you know... he’s got a little protection.”
:laugh:

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

:drat:

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Good Dog posted:

I think Trevor Bauer is still salty. Indians play the Astros this weekend.

https://twitter.com/BauerOutage/status/997522397300494336

I really wish he was starting this weekend because the fan reaction would be :perfect:

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

LonesomeCrowdedWest posted:

I’m probably going to regret asking this but why is he Trevor “Tyler” Bauer ?

When he had his twitter rant, Alex Bregman called him Tyler Bauer when he replied. Not sure if it was Bregman trolling or genuinely not knowing his name, but it stuck.

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Poque posted:

Houston for awhile

Yeah, he was here when they were still the Colt 45s and came back in 1980 for a season.

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
N: Francisco Liriano is currently throwing a no-no thru 6 for Detroit

V: I assume someone kidnapped the real Liriano during the off-season and assumed his identity

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

New Concept Hole posted:

Being short is its own amphetamine

Can confirm

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
Acquire deGrom, send Keuchel to bullpen, send Giles into orbit

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Atomizer posted:

Shawon Dunston Jr. is on that team... :eyepop:

...and he likes mayo on a hot dog?!? :barf:

:popeye:

:wtc: hot dogs already contain all the fat you need

Bun->Dog->Mustard. That’s all you need :argh:

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

mods ban this sick filth

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
Not just a spider bite, but a spider bite he keeps picking at. It’s so bad he gave himself an infection and we had to call up a guy we just demoted like three days prior

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
https://twitter.com/monte_colorman/status/1000572353439551489?s=21

Indians already deleted this:


#Justiceforoldfatman

Big Mean Jerk fucked around with this message at 04:11 on May 27, 2018

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
That kinda seems like bullshit. Why didn’t he slide behind the plate?

Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.
*busts into thread panting*

You put mustard in the bun first, then you put the dog in so it doesn’t get all over your face/beard!

If you smother your dog in ketchup I assume you’re also the kind of person who puts mayo on burgers. Ketchup is only (moderately) acceptable if it’s on a corndog.

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Big Mean Jerk
Jan 27, 2009

Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Timby posted:

Change hot dog for brat and I guarantee you that's something done at the Wisconsin State Fair, somewhere.

Brats really are the superior sausage and I wish more ballparks offered them.

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