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Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Reading this thread and voting north of 3

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The Dennis System
Aug 4, 2014

Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.
Spending every weekend alone at home with the blinds drawn and never leaving the house.

olives black
Nov 24, 2017


LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.

china bot posted:

every day that i awake to a purposeless life

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

No. 6 posted:

Most policies pay out depending on how long you've had it. The minimum I think is 6 months to cover suicide.

And now we play the waiting game

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

The Dennis System posted:

Spending every weekend alone at home with the blinds drawn and never leaving the house.

Lol if you haven't painted over the window panes

No. 6
Jun 30, 2002

LOL if your basement apartment has windows.

Obsidianheart
Apr 26, 2017

Throwing off the shadow of a better man.

LordArgh posted:

what's the best way to trick someone into killing you so that insurance will pay out?

Be a minority, wander around an affluent neighborhood.
Carry a gun (optional).

Tomato Burger
Jun 18, 2007
The secret is granola.
My wife will outlive me, so it doesn't matter to me who she writes down as the beneficiary.

13Pandora13
Nov 5, 2008

I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle




I realized driving home that I wasted the best years of my youth trying to do what I thought my family expected of me with zero regard to my own desires in life. I am very successful but the cost has been high, and my parents still aren't proud of me.

Oh and my beneficiaries are my brothers.

Nice Guy Patron
Jun 29, 2015
I don't have life insurance.

Harold Stassen
Jan 24, 2016
Lol, just lol if your company didn't list itself as the beneficiary to a policy on you you didn't know about

BeefThief
Aug 8, 2007

Mario death mask posted:

Lol, just lol if your company didn't list itself as the beneficiary to a policy on you you didn't know about

the classic dead peasant policy. if only i could be so lucky

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

I just have a regular F-150 instead of the good one, the Raptor.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

veiled boner fuel posted:

I just have a regular F-150 instead of the good one, the Raptor.

extremely hosed up if true

Sjs00
Jun 29, 2013

Yeah Baby Yeah !
Fuuuck now I want taco bell

A_Bug_That_Thinks
Mar 16, 2011


ASK ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BIG SAGGY POKEMON TITS
How I did nothing to deserve my loving wife, millions of dollars, and fulfilling job

A_Bug_That_Thinks
Mar 16, 2011


ASK ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BIG SAGGY POKEMON TITS
My love of Pokemon tits

chupacabron
Oct 30, 2004


Seeing there is no milk after pouring a bowl of cereal

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Umbrellish posted:

Seeing there is no milk after pouring a bowl of cereal

seeing there is no milk after downing a sleeve of thin mints

The Dennis System
Aug 4, 2014

Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.

A_Bug_That_Thinks posted:

How I did nothing to deserve my loving wife, millions of dollars, and fulfilling job

Pay it forward: buy me a Mazda 3.

Devian666
Aug 20, 2008

Take some advice Chris.

Fun Shoe

A_Bug_That_Thinks posted:

My love of Pokemon tits

Despite your AV are these tits that are pokemon?

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

A_Bug_That_Thinks posted:

My love of Pokemon tits

she seems kina happy at least

Umbrellish posted:

Seeing there is no milk after pouring a bowl of cereal

drinking milk at all

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
It's ok if you hate yourself, you are not the only one. Everyone else hates you too!

Jezza of OZPOS
Mar 21, 2018

GET LOSE❌🗺️, YOUS CAN'T COMPARE😤 WITH ME 💪POWERS🇦🇺
When I cum and a small talking worm pops out

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.
my heavy D/s play with the baby mama recently has devolved into her beggin to be murdered (choked to death) and im not quite sure how to handle it

she's literally cheryl irl

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
being an alcoholic

PantsandCola
Aug 17, 2013

you did good... you did good
losing save files to games i like

Amateur Saboteur
Feb 5, 2010

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
no mind bending prostate orgasms through penetration via erect penis

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
op its spelled richard kyanka. he needs your death dollars

A_Bug_That_Thinks
Mar 16, 2011


ASK ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BIG SAGGY POKEMON TITS

The Dennis System posted:

Pay it forward: buy me a Mazda 3.

I can buy you a Forza 3

A_Bug_That_Thinks
Mar 16, 2011


ASK ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BIG SAGGY POKEMON TITS

Devian666 posted:

Despite your AV are these tits that are pokemon?

Nope, tits on a pokemon. Despite my av, I actually like them small and pert

Capri Sun Tzu
Oct 24, 2017

by Reene
If you do take your own life, jump off a high building. But first stuff your pockets full of candy. You know, for the children.

*in slo mo, falling* "its all free kids"

Lacey
Jul 10, 2001

Guess where this lollipop's going?
I'll die before I ever eat my favourite candy again

Applesnots
Oct 22, 2010

MERRY YOBMAS

All my best friends are dead, either suicide or cancer. I drink a lot alone. My dog is my rock.

Dr. Gojo Shioji
Apr 22, 2004

LordArgh posted:

what's the best way to trick someone into killing you so that insurance will pay out?

This instructional video covers the topic pretty well.

spinderella
Jul 15, 2017

by FactsAreUseless
This thread is depressing af.

Listen to me goons, it is perfectly alright to off yourself when you are old and infirm

But NOT before then so quit thinking about it and start loving LIVING. Even if you're doing bad poo poo, do something.

chupacabron
Oct 30, 2004


SniperWoreConverse posted:

drinking milk at all

I feel bad that you can't enjoy the cow's bounty

Sjs00
Jun 29, 2013

Yeah Baby Yeah !

A_Bug_That_Thinks posted:

Nope, tits on a pokemon. Despite my av, I actually like them small and pert

Sounds gay

Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!

Spinster posted:

This thread is depressing af.

Listen to me goons, it is perfectly alright to off yourself when you are old and infirm

But NOT before then so quit thinking about it and start loving LIVING. Even if you're doing bad poo poo, do something.

A lot of it is fake posting



that’s what I tell myself anyway

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marijuanamancer
Sep 11, 2001

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Reading an internet forum for perspective instead of meeting people

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