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Detective No. 27
Jun 7, 2006



I choose to believe the story group doesn't know what they're talking about.

What's the point of becoming a god emperor if you're not gonna gently caress?

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Vinylshadow
Mar 20, 2017


No Mods No Masters posted:

*Pabloishly* Canonically speaking, the story group has made it very clear that Sheev Never hosed

Filoni walks by with a Palpatine Fucks? t-shirt

pospysyl
Nov 10, 2012

SO EMBARRASSING



Kart Barfunkel posted:

Lol that Rey’s parents/Palpatine’s son don’t even have names.

Kylo Ren was right: Rey's parents really were nobody.

Schwarzwald
Jul 27, 2004

Don't Blink


No Mods No Masters posted:

*Pabloishly* Canonically speaking, the story group has made it very clear that Sheev Never hosed

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Babysitter Super Sleuth
Apr 26, 2012

THERE'S FASCISM IN MY GIANT ROBOT ANIMES


Here lies Sheev, he never scored

Happy Noodle Boy
Jul 3, 2002

Don't fuckle with Shuckle(s)

Like that other Shuckle, but different.


Somehow... Palpatine has hosed.

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

One death is a tragedy, ten deaths is a statistic. Especially if it saves my job.


I knew it from day one that these cowards would try to walk it back

What’s one good reason this guy doesn’t gently caress? This is a galaxy where traditional morality is regarded as the norm and the nuclear family is highly valued, and you’re trying to tell me this guy was the most successful politician in the galaxy as a “confirmed bachelor”?

overmind2000
Nov 6, 2007

I'm an alien.



Unfortunately his first use of force lightning burned his dick off

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

One death is a tragedy, ten deaths is a statistic. Especially if it saves my job.


Palpatine is by far the most explicitly sexual character in Star Wars, he acts like he’s having continuous orgasms basically all the time (from Ep 3 on)

Brother Entropy
Dec 27, 2009



General Dog posted:

I knew it from day one that these cowards would try to walk it back

What’s one good reason this guy doesn’t gently caress? This is a galaxy where traditional morality is regarded as the norm and the nuclear family is highly valued, and you’re trying to tell me this guy was the most successful politician in the galaxy as a “confirmed bachelor”?

no one fucks in disney movies except protagonists in love, and only at the end

J_RBG
May 20, 2014



The dead gently caress!

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Kart Barfunkel posted:

Lol that Rey’s parents/Palpatine’s son don’t even have names.

The dad's name is Triclops.

SuperMechagodzilla
Jun 9, 2007

NEWT REBORN


Palpatine absolutely hosed - there’s no doubt about that - but I’m against the scenario in Star Wars 9 because penis-in-vagina procreative sex with a woman seems totally beneath him.

Vintersorg
Mar 3, 2004

PRESIDENT OF THE OFFICIAL BRENDAN FRASER FAN CLUB


J_RBG posted:

The dead gently caress!

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004



J_RBG posted:

The Star Wars Spoiler thread: The dead gently caress!

Vinylshadow
Mar 20, 2017


"Look, sex is great, but have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"

YaketySass
Jan 15, 2019

Blind Idiot Dog


Vinylshadow posted:

"Look, sex is great, but have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"

With luck you can experience both at the same time.

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004

EVERY FAIRY TALE NEEDS ITS HERO.

Palp was clearly grooming Anakin, folks.

feedmyleg fucked around with this message at 16:13 on May 24, 2020

Captain Splendid
Jan 7, 2009

Qu'en pense Caffarelli?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-7BsLgYsmc

Pretty good
Apr 16, 2007





J_RBG posted:

The dead gently caress!
They gently caress now???

Bongo Bill
Jan 17, 2012

From my point of view, the Jedi are evil. But what really is... evil?

Pretty good posted:

They gently caress now???

They gently caress now!

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"



Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

One death is a tragedy, ten deaths is a statistic. Especially if it saves my job.


Gonz posted:

Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.

Other than the four guys on a raft that one time he really didn’t do much of the former either.

Vinylshadow
Mar 20, 2017


High Republic books delayed to 2021

Pretty good
Apr 16, 2007





All of the people who were looking forward to whatever that is are gonna be crushed

AndyElusive
Jan 7, 2007



COVID19 is truly the work of the Darkside of the Force.

Grizzled Patriarch
Mar 27, 2014

These dentures won't stop me from tearing out jugulars in Thunderdome.




Finally got around to watching RoS, making it the first of the Star Wars movies I didn't bother to see in a theater. And yep, it does indeed suck as much as everyone said it did! Not even interesting enough to talk about, really, just a complete creative failure on every level.

Kart Barfunkel
Nov 10, 2009



My two favorite RoS clips:

https://youtu.be/R1MwQ1hCvOk

Absolutely none of this poo poo pays off and it looks like several different scenes and locations stitched together. Everything that could have advanced Rey’s character gets reversed in the next scene and never mentioned again. How did Kylo AND Rey AND Finn not notice that this wasn’t the ship Chewie was on? Who cares?

https://youtu.be/bz6PgdhhkUM

Maybe the worst setup for a central conflict in any movie I’ve seen in years. What more needs to be said?

MasqueradeOverture
Apr 4, 2020

No.

Kart Barfunkel posted:

My two favorite RoS clips:

https://youtu.be/R1MwQ1hCvOk

Absolutely none of this poo poo pays off and it looks like several different scenes and locations stitched together. Everything that could have advanced Rey’s character gets reversed in the next scene and never mentioned again. How did Kylo AND Rey AND Finn not notice that this wasn’t the ship Chewie was on? Who cares?

https://youtu.be/bz6PgdhhkUM

Maybe the worst setup for a central conflict in any movie I’ve seen in years. What more needs to be said?

You can really tell from the stilted delivery and checked-out look on his face that Oscar was thinking "Am I really about to say this poo poo right now?"

Papercut
Aug 24, 2005

The quickest substitution in the history of the NBA

They should've just titled the movie "Somehow Palpatine Returned"

Horizon Burning
Oct 23, 2019


MasqueradeOverture posted:

You can really tell from the stilted delivery and checked-out look on his face that Oscar was thinking "Am I really about to say this poo poo right now?"

That little disgusted sigh and look down is up there with Ewan Mcgregor covering his smirk when he has to say 'killing younglings' as far as Star Wars actors letting the mask slip goes.

It also features the thing I really didn't like about the ST, which was Abrams chucking his friends in the cast because, bro, you get to be in Star Wars. Greg Grunberg's big dramatic death sequence is one of the worst parts of the whole ST.

Barudak
May 7, 2007



Greg Grunbergs best role was Condemned: Criminal Origins

Disney should counter the Snyder cut of Justice League by letting george edit the sequel films into whatever he wants

Kart Barfunkel
Nov 10, 2009



Barudak posted:

Disney should counter the Snyder cut of Justice League by letting george edit the sequel films into whatever he wants

*Title crawl*

Text: Luke Skywalker has vanished!

*camera reels back, revealing the scene is playing on a television set*

*Mark Hamill smashes the tv screen with a sledgehammer*

Text over wreckage: A Lucasfilm Ltd Production (in original green border font)

Later:

Leia: Luke! Your surprise! His name is Binks!

*Jar Jar Binks emerges from behind a speeder, no worse for wear after all these years. He’s in a red outfit with a blue space flower on the lapel. Without a word the CGI character turns, juts arms outstretched, slides fingers down his state of the art forehead to convey a secret message about the midichlorians.*

*Leia matches this gesture and places her hand on her head*

Leia to Luke: She’s our mother’s sister’s girl! (This is canon!)

Eason the Fifth
Apr 9, 2020


Anyone have a link to the post that reads TFA as a neo-liberal take? I dont know the author and I can't remember if it was in this thread or a different one.

Grandpa Palpatine
Dec 13, 2019







Eason the Fifth posted:

Anyone have a link to the post that reads TFA as a neo-liberal take? I dont know the author and I can't remember if it was in this thread or a different one.

tl;dr it's basically celebratory of the end of history bullshit that liberals convinced themselves of. then space nazis reappear and burn it all down again.

YaketySass
Jan 15, 2019

Blind Idiot Dog


Eason the Fifth posted:

Anyone have a link to the post that reads TFA as a neo-liberal take? I dont know the author and I can't remember if it was in this thread or a different one.

This one?

Babysitter Super Sleuth posted:

Holdo on her own isn't necessarily the problem, the problem is in the context that The Force Awakens is a movie that exists purely in the liminal headspace of post-obama, pre-trump liberals, and The Last Jedi is in many ways an angry response to that headspace getting absolutely loving curbstomped by the ugly boot of reality. Hux, Ren, and Snoke were supposed to be these useless, impotent clowns that couldn't pose a threat to real people, just the extras, but then their real-world counterparts took control of the American government and destroyed the status quo. So you have to show that you're loyal to the leadership, refuse to admit the failure of your ideology, and we world be at brunch right now if all these loving hot headed berniebros ace pilots had just known their loving place instead of going out and actually done what people wanted. Holdo is not "a subversion of movie heroism by injecting real world hierarchical structure," she's a representation of the old establishment scold demanding respect for previous acts without feeling the need to respect in turn.

E: the game is really given away by the fact that of the four named antagonists in The Force Awakens, the only one with actual teeth is Kylo. Hux, Phasma, and Snoke are respectively a white supremacist, a cop, and a businessman, and all three of those are forces accepted as normal parts of societal functioning in American liberal democracy, so they all ultimately either amount to nothing (snoke) or are revealed as a paper tiger of no real threat to the heroes (Hux, phasma). But Kylo? TFA Kylo is an ersatz school shooter, the evil that comes home, the 21st century boogeyman who's gonna kill your precious children. He's the only one of the four that doesn't "fit" in liberal America, and he's the only one who is seen as approaching a real threat by the narrative.

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

One death is a tragedy, ten deaths is a statistic. Especially if it saves my job.


Eason the Fifth posted:

Anyone have a link to the post that reads TFA as a neo-liberal take? I dont know the author and I can't remember if it was in this thread or a different one.

A bunch of fascists come literally out of nowhere, led by an angry young white man. Their motivations, worldview, and vision for the future go completely un-examined over the course of the three movies, but we're reassured that there's no reason at all for Kylo Ren's anger, and his turn in no way reflects poorly on his family or the status quo that he seeks to dismantle.

Babysitter Super Sleuth
Apr 26, 2012

THERE'S FASCISM IN MY GIANT ROBOT ANIMES


An important tool for understanding the sequel films is while that mostly the characters are not supposed to represent specific people and approaching them with intent to find 1:1 counterparts is a good way to waste your time and drive you nuts, the sole exception is that Leia Organa is 100% unambiguously intended to be Space Hillary Clinton.

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynDMTiamRRY

Legends of the Hidden Temple but star war is the ultimate millennial pandering. gently caress the blue banthas I’m a green gungans man

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No Mods No Masters
Oct 3, 2004

Hi!


I would say holdo is also space hillary. So profound was rian's hillary awareness that he couldn't express it all in only one character

No Mods No Masters fucked around with this message at 20:21 on May 27, 2020

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