Star Wars: a cool dude in a black cloak and helmet and his name is Star Wars

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Star Wars: a cool dude in a black cloak and helmet and his name is Star Wars

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Calibanibal: Aug 25, 2015

Stunned by the revelation that the Knights of Ren arent named after Kylo Ren, but Ren is actually a title of sorts. All the members are named X Ren, like Bob Ren and Gildo Ren etc

# ? Aug 25, 2019 18:46

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 23:32

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

Milkfred E. Moore posted:

People are saying that the video shown at that con confirms a bunch of leaks that got posted, including this ending stuff:

Its more like tearing up space but that stuff doesn't show up until the end of the movie during the final fight between Rey and Kylo Ren and its mostly happening because of Palpatine's spirit. Rey manages to hack Palpatine's power to do what he does like how she hacked into Kylo Ren in the first movie. She's like a sponge. The characters clash on the ruins of the Death Star but every time their lightsabers touch it sends them to a different moment in history on a different planet, like how Rey got swooped into those realistic visions in Force Awakens when she touched Luke's lightsaber. The end result is a "happy ending".

Kylo Ren and Rey clash for the last time. During the clash they keep shifting through time. Palpatine is becoming more powerful but so is Rey. Rey with the help of a struggling Kylo Ren is able to subdue Palpatine by creating a tear in the Force sucking him and Kylo in a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But Rey refuses to let him die so she uses her newfound ability to alter space and time to change destroy Palpatine's spirit itself which causes countless of moments and planets to flash before Rey and the film ends with a narration telling the story of Luke which clips showing where the characters are now in some kind of epilogue. Showing Finn living on his homeplanet with his family, Leia and Han holding each other while looking over a balcony, Luke looking over the horizon and looks back to see a large cone-shaped building behind him and Rey is on Tatooine at Luke's old home walking towards the double sunset and looks at it the same way Luke did. She's then joined by Kylo Ren who puts his arm around her shoulder and the film irises out

lol

this is bad

Almost Blue posted:

So the reason why the Emperor looks so odd and plastic on the poster is because it's actually just a picture of a toy:

this is real good in a disney sort of way.

to sell toys indeeds.

# ? Aug 25, 2019 19:18

Jerkface: May 21, 2001; HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER?; Fallen Rib

thats just stupid enough to go around from bad back to extremely good.

# ? Aug 25, 2019 19:55

High Lord Elbow: Jun 21, 2013; "You can sit next to Elvira."

I used to be terrified of spoilers. Now I realize they can only lead to pleasant surprises. That�s the worst poo poo I�ve ever read.

# ? Aug 25, 2019 20:26

Macksy: Oct 20, 2008

Starwars episode 9: stone ocean

# ? Aug 25, 2019 21:24

The Cameo: Jan 20, 2005

Macksy posted:

Starwars episode 9: stone ocean

Star Wars wishes it could approach anything nearly as batshit as the climax to Stone Ocean.

# ? Aug 25, 2019 21:44

MelancholyMark: May 5, 2009

I pray to god that leak is real. I will be there day 1 to see people's reactions.

# ? Aug 25, 2019 21:53

teagone: Jun 10, 2003; That was pretty intense, huh?

That leak definitely lines up with JJ's "gently caress it" he said in the Vanity Fair issue wrt developing Episode IX. So... yeah.

[edit] If the film legit irises out on Ben putting his arm around Rey, the title actually owns then. :heysexy:

teagone fucked around with this message at 22:38 on Aug 25, 2019

# ? Aug 25, 2019 22:35

Wild Horses: Oct 31, 2012; There's really no meaning in making beetles fight.

Macksy posted:

Starwars episode 9: stone ocean

The good guys all die at the end of SO.
They are in fact brutally murdered by a speedy priest

# ? Aug 25, 2019 22:40

Zoran: Aug 19, 2008; I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!

Gonna lol if the series ends with Rey fixing the tortured young man who had a rape scene with her

# ? Aug 25, 2019 23:01

Brother Entropy: Dec 27, 2009

Zoran posted:

Gonna lol if the series ends with Rey fixing the tortured young man who had a rape scene with her

please keep your fanfic to yourself

# ? Aug 25, 2019 23:34

Mike N Eich: Jan 27, 2007; This might just be the year

Zoran posted:

Gonna lol if the series ends with Rey fixing the tortured young man who had a rape scene with her

She spent all of TLJ trying to win him over so why would this surprise you?

# ? Aug 26, 2019 01:21

Timeless Appeal: May 28, 2006

Mike N Eich posted:

She spent all of TLJ trying to win him over so why would this surprise you?

Well, The last Jedi makes a big deal that it doesn't work. They get to the Return of the Jedi-esque moment of redemption, the big bad is dead, and it turns out that Kylo just sucks.

I know that sounds reductive, but I actually really like that. I like the idea of showing how everyone assumed this trilogy was going to end and it for it just fail.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 01:29

tino: Jun 4, 2018; by Smythe

What do you think the force skype is? That's love.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 01:35

Teek: Aug 7, 2006; I can't wait to entertain you.

Could you at least post a link to where you got that supposed ending? I�ve not seen anything like that particular movie resolution mentioned in any previous spoilers. Your �leak� basically took the rumors force visions and added some brand new parts with this new �it retcons itself� twist to the end.

Screams bad SW fan video poo poo to me.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 01:43

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

Wild Horses posted:

The good guys all die at the end of SO.
They are in fact brutally murdered by a speedy hedgehog

# ? Aug 26, 2019 01:44

Macksy: Oct 20, 2008

Wild Horses posted:

The good guys all die at the end of SO.
They are in fact brutally murdered by a speedy priest

Incorrect they were murdered by a normal speed priest.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 02:22

Pigbuster: Sep 12, 2010; Fun Shoe

Calibanibal posted:

Stunned by the revelation that the Knights of Ren arent named after Kylo Ren, but Ren is actually a title of sorts. All the members are named X Ren, like Bob Ren and Gildo Ren etc

H�ek Ren

# ? Aug 26, 2019 04:40

Ingmar terdman: Jul 24, 2006

Calibanibal posted:

Stunned by the revelation that the Knights of Ren arent named after Kylo Ren, but Ren is actually a title of sorts. All the members are named X Ren, like Bob Ren and Gildo Ren etc

You forgot Stimpy Ren

# ? Aug 26, 2019 05:35

The MSJ: May 17, 2010

I have to admit that I don't mind whatever batshit insane conclusion they come up with in Episode 9 as long as JJ does not contradict TLJ. That said,

Zoran posted:

Gonna lol if the series ends with Rey fixing the tortured young man who had a rape scene with her

...part of the reason I'm excited for Episode 9 is the sequel to Black Moon Rising, a barely-disguised published fanfic as featured in Jenny Nicholson's video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJGm8Sj7Qn8

Speaking of Jenny, here's her Episode 9 bingo.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7h7y8U4G0g

# ? Aug 26, 2019 07:27

FuturePastNow: May 19, 2014

Milkfred E. Moore posted:

People are saying that the video shown at that con confirms a bunch of leaks that got posted, including this ending stuff:

Its more like tearing up space but that stuff doesn't show up until the end of the movie during the final fight between Rey and Kylo Ren and its mostly happening because of Palpatine's spirit. Rey manages to hack Palpatine's power to do what he does like how she hacked into Kylo Ren in the first movie. She's like a sponge. The characters clash on the ruins of the Death Star but every time their lightsabers touch it sends them to a different moment in history on a different planet, like how Rey got swooped into those realistic visions in Force Awakens when she touched Luke's lightsaber. The end result is a "happy ending".

Kylo Ren and Rey clash for the last time. During the clash they keep shifting through time. Palpatine is becoming more powerful but so is Rey. Rey with the help of a struggling Kylo Ren is able to subdue Palpatine by creating a tear in the Force sucking him and Kylo in a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But Rey refuses to let him die so she uses her newfound ability to alter space and time to change destroy Palpatine's spirit itself which causes countless of moments and planets to flash before Rey and the film ends with a narration telling the story of Luke which clips showing where the characters are now in some kind of epilogue. Showing Finn living on his homeplanet with his family, Leia and Han holding each other while looking over a balcony, Luke looking over the horizon and looks back to see a large cone-shaped building behind him and Rey is on Tatooine at Luke's old home walking towards the double sunset and looks at it the same way Luke did. She's then joined by Kylo Ren who puts his arm around her shoulder and the film irises out

lol

gently caress it!

# ? Aug 26, 2019 07:54

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Sizzle reel drops this morning at 10 EST.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 08:13

M_Sinistrari: Sep 5, 2008; Do you like scary movies?

Milkfred E. Moore posted:

People are saying that the video shown at that con confirms a bunch of leaks that got posted, including this ending stuff:

Its more like tearing up space but that stuff doesn't show up until the end of the movie during the final fight between Rey and Kylo Ren and its mostly happening because of Palpatine's spirit. Rey manages to hack Palpatine's power to do what he does like how she hacked into Kylo Ren in the first movie. She's like a sponge. The characters clash on the ruins of the Death Star but every time their lightsabers touch it sends them to a different moment in history on a different planet, like how Rey got swooped into those realistic visions in Force Awakens when she touched Luke's lightsaber. The end result is a "happy ending".

Kylo Ren and Rey clash for the last time. During the clash they keep shifting through time. Palpatine is becoming more powerful but so is Rey. Rey with the help of a struggling Kylo Ren is able to subdue Palpatine by creating a tear in the Force sucking him and Kylo in a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But Rey refuses to let him die so she uses her newfound ability to alter space and time to change destroy Palpatine's spirit itself which causes countless of moments and planets to flash before Rey and the film ends with a narration telling the story of Luke which clips showing where the characters are now in some kind of epilogue. Showing Finn living on his homeplanet with his family, Leia and Han holding each other while looking over a balcony, Luke looking over the horizon and looks back to see a large cone-shaped building behind him and Rey is on Tatooine at Luke's old home walking towards the double sunset and looks at it the same way Luke did. She's then joined by Kylo Ren who puts his arm around her shoulder and the film irises out

lol

If that's legit, I'm really not sure what to think. I've long grumbled over the stagnancy of the setting, but drat that ending feels like something you'd find on fanfiction.net. Part of me wonders if they'd really have the balls to essentially nuke the franchise with this, and I can only imagine the intensity of the fan outrage. I can easily envision sites crashing from grognards posting their apopleptic fits over it and the collectors who've spent so much on merch thinking it's an investment probably contemplating acts of desperation. Then I start thinking over how much Disney's invested into this, theme park included and really wonder if this is just a stir talk up kinda thing.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 10:16

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

Milkfred E. Moore posted:

People are saying that the video shown at that con confirms a bunch of leaks that got posted, including this ending stuff:

Its more like tearing up space but that stuff doesn't show up until the end of the movie during the final fight between Rey and Kylo Ren and its mostly happening because of Palpatine's spirit. Rey manages to hack Palpatine's power to do what he does like how she hacked into Kylo Ren in the first movie. She's like a sponge. The characters clash on the ruins of the Death Star but every time their lightsabers touch it sends them to a different moment in history on a different planet, like how Rey got swooped into those realistic visions in Force Awakens when she touched Luke's lightsaber. The end result is a "happy ending".

Kylo Ren and Rey clash for the last time. During the clash they keep shifting through time. Palpatine is becoming more powerful but so is Rey. Rey with the help of a struggling Kylo Ren is able to subdue Palpatine by creating a tear in the Force sucking him and Kylo in a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But Rey refuses to let him die so she uses her newfound ability to alter space and time to change destroy Palpatine's spirit itself which causes countless of moments and planets to flash before Rey and the film ends with a narration telling the story of Luke which clips showing where the characters are now in some kind of epilogue. Showing Finn living on his homeplanet with his family, Leia and Han holding each other while looking over a balcony, Luke looking over the horizon and looks back to see a large cone-shaped building behind him and Rey is on Tatooine at Luke's old home walking towards the double sunset and looks at it the same way Luke did. She's then joined by Kylo Ren who puts his arm around her shoulder and the film irises out

lol

What "con" is this and why would they show the ending of the movie at it?

# ? Aug 26, 2019 10:30

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Milkfred E. Moore posted:

People are saying that the video shown at that con confirms a bunch of leaks that got posted, including this ending stuff:

Its more like tearing up space but that stuff doesn't show up until the end of the movie during the final fight between Rey and Kylo Ren and its mostly happening because of Palpatine's spirit. Rey manages to hack Palpatine's power to do what he does like how she hacked into Kylo Ren in the first movie. She's like a sponge. The characters clash on the ruins of the Death Star but every time their lightsabers touch it sends them to a different moment in history on a different planet, like how Rey got swooped into those realistic visions in Force Awakens when she touched Luke's lightsaber. The end result is a "happy ending".

Kylo Ren and Rey clash for the last time. During the clash they keep shifting through time. Palpatine is becoming more powerful but so is Rey. Rey with the help of a struggling Kylo Ren is able to subdue Palpatine by creating a tear in the Force sucking him and Kylo in a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But Rey refuses to let him die so she uses her newfound ability to alter space and time to change destroy Palpatine's spirit itself which causes countless of moments and planets to flash before Rey and the film ends with a narration telling the story of Luke which clips showing where the characters are now in some kind of epilogue. Showing Finn living on his homeplanet with his family, Leia and Han holding each other while looking over a balcony, Luke looking over the horizon and looks back to see a large cone-shaped building behind him and Rey is on Tatooine at Luke's old home walking towards the double sunset and looks at it the same way Luke did. She's then joined by Kylo Ren who puts his arm around her shoulder and the film irises out

lol

Kylo: "I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh. I have been called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the world goes dim and cold. I am hero. She has been nameless since our birth, a constant adversary caring for nothing but my ruin, a sword drenched in my blood forever, my greatest and only love. She is the dark. O Lethe, enemy and lover, without whom my very existence would be pathetic and vulgar! Our relationship is complex and perhaps eternal. We met once in the garden at the beginning of the world and, unaware of our twin destinies, we matched stares across a dry fountain. And I recall her smiling at me before she devoured the lawn and trees with a translucent blue flame and tore flagstones from the path and hurled them into the sky, screaming my sins. I powder a granite monument in a soundless flash, showering the grass with molten drops of its gold inlay, sending smoking chips of stone skipping into the fog. She splinters an ancient oak with a force that takes my breath and hurls me to the ground."

Assepoester fucked around with this message at 10:41 on Aug 26, 2019

# ? Aug 26, 2019 10:35

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

Star wars: Bottom Text

# ? Aug 26, 2019 11:13

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

Here�s the reel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n1T3HxHd7Y

# ? Aug 26, 2019 13:26

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

I guess that's the big secret Sith fleet or whatever and the big red laser is their superlasers.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 13:34

tino: Jun 4, 2018; by Smythe

I love it. It's going to be so much retconning.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 13:37

Polo-Rican: Jul 4, 2004; emptyquote my posts or die

Milkfred E. Moore posted:

I guess that's the big secret Sith fleet or whatever and the big red laser is their superlasers.

A fleet with superlasers is only impactful if you've completely forgotten that the TFA had an ultra-ultra death star that could destroy five planets at once, and the good guys blew it up in like 20 minutes lol

# ? Aug 26, 2019 14:23

FlamingLiberal: Jan 18, 2009; Would you like to play a game?

tino posted:

I love it. It's going to be so much retconning.

I knew they were going to have to do that when the final scene in TLJ is like 15-20 members of the Resistance on the Falcon and they have no backup

# ? Aug 26, 2019 14:37

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

FlamingLiberal posted:

I knew they were going to have to do that when the final scene in TLJ is like 15-20 members of the Resistance on the Falcon and they have no backup

They'd talked about allies elsewhere who hadn't shown up, and the implication of the actual last scene with the broom kid was that Luke's sacrifice was going to inspire people.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 14:41

punishedkissinger: Sep 20, 2017

Doctor Spaceman posted:

They'd talked about allies elsewhere who hadn't shown up, and the implication of the actual last scene with the broom kid was that Luke's sacrifice was going to inspire people.

How would anyone even know about Luke's sacrifice outside of word of mouth from the ten survivors?

Most people didnt give a poo poo about the resistance apparently so why would they care that they effectively got wiped out?

# ? Aug 26, 2019 14:51

thrawn527: Mar 27, 2004; Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

Milkfred E. Moore posted:

People are saying that the video shown at that con confirms a bunch of leaks that got posted, including this ending stuff:

Its more like tearing up space but that stuff doesn't show up until the end of the movie during the final fight between Rey and Kylo Ren and its mostly happening because of Palpatine's spirit. Rey manages to hack Palpatine's power to do what he does like how she hacked into Kylo Ren in the first movie. She's like a sponge. The characters clash on the ruins of the Death Star but every time their lightsabers touch it sends them to a different moment in history on a different planet, like how Rey got swooped into those realistic visions in Force Awakens when she touched Luke's lightsaber. The end result is a "happy ending".

Kylo Ren and Rey clash for the last time. During the clash they keep shifting through time. Palpatine is becoming more powerful but so is Rey. Rey with the help of a struggling Kylo Ren is able to subdue Palpatine by creating a tear in the Force sucking him and Kylo in a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But Rey refuses to let him die so she uses her newfound ability to alter space and time to change destroy Palpatine's spirit itself which causes countless of moments and planets to flash before Rey and the film ends with a narration telling the story of Luke which clips showing where the characters are now in some kind of epilogue. Showing Finn living on his homeplanet with his family, Leia and Han holding each other while looking over a balcony, Luke looking over the horizon and looks back to see a large cone-shaped building behind him and Rey is on Tatooine at Luke's old home walking towards the double sunset and looks at it the same way Luke did. She's then joined by Kylo Ren who puts his arm around her shoulder and the film irises out

lol

The video we've now seen doesn't "confirm" any of this. And the con apparently saw a different video, with some different footage, but I haven't seen anyone saying anything remotely like what you've posted here was confirmed by that footage. So I'd be curious to know where you saw this posted.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 14:56

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

It just hit me that the shot of Rey/Kylo fighting mirrors Obi-Wan/Anakin�s Mustafar fight but it�s water instead of lava.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:01

AndyElusive: Jan 7, 2007

thrawn527 posted:

The video we've now seen doesn't "confirm" any of this. And the con apparently saw a different video, with some different footage, but I haven't seen anyone saying anything remotely like what you've posted here was confirmed by that footage. So I'd be curious to know where you saw this posted.

SuperShadow said so.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:16

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

kidkissinger posted:

Most people didnt give a poo poo about the resistance apparently so why would they care that they effectively got wiped out?

People cared but thought there was no hope of success. Luke's death changed that.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:17

Captain Splendid: Jan 7, 2009; Qu'en pense Caffarelli?

Doctor Spaceman posted:

People cared but thought there was no hope of success. Luke's death changed that.

They stopped caring?

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:20

teagone: Jun 10, 2003; That was pretty intense, huh?

Captain Splendid posted:

They stopped caring?

Yes. Remember when the resistance were trying to get help on the Crait by sending out a galaxy wide SOS and while their was message was received, no one responded?

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:23

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 23:32

Doctor Spaceman: Jul 6, 2010; "Everyone's entitled to their point of view, but that's seriously a weird one."

quote:

KAYDEL KO CONNIX: Our distress signal's been received at multiple points, but no response.
LARMA D'ACY: They've heard us, but no one's coming.
LEIA: We fought till the end. But the galaxy has lost all its hope.

Then out of nowhere Luke walks in, with the clear implication being that hope has returned.

# ? Aug 26, 2019 15:35

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Star Wars: a cool dude in a black cloak and helmet and his name is Star Wars

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