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fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



I dont think there is any scene that distills what a bankrupt nerd homunculus JJ is more than the one with force ghost luke teaching Rey boomer wisdom
"Rey you don't need the dumbass mcguffin to find your way to the secret sith planet like it is a loving Destiny 2 quest!"
"No not because the force always there for you and you should use it you have another mcguffin in the fighter you stole lolll go to the next checkpoint"

what a waste of a stellar cast of actors and best artists disney money could buy

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fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Vince MechMahon posted:

Rise of Skywalker sucks poo poo out of an rear end in a top hat. It's just as bad as the loving prequels, Christ.

yeah
I think only Clones is worse than Rise from all the main films - it is just as stupid but also is agressively ugly (at least basic disney assembly line competency kept Rise from that)

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Tarnop posted:

Driver has definitely built a reputation as a hard worker as well as a talented performer, so I think he'll be fine. Either he or his agent have an eye for a good script (this poo poo notwithstanding, contractual obligations etc) based on his body of work in general, and despite all the failings of this trilogy he has come out of it smelling of roses imo

Driver has already worked with Jarmusch, Baumbach, Soderbergh, Spike lee and Martin loving Scorcese, he is on a safe Pattison career track

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



gohmak posted:

This is Star Wars and not one person has talked about the laser swording in this movie. Was it that unremarkable?

the teleporting lightsaber trick was fun, but otherwise it was an afterthought
hilariously the swords are suddenly EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ARTIFACTS in the story
no duel of the fates in the soundtrack is criminal

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Hobo Clown posted:

I'm still mad they brought in Harrison Ford to be a not-force ghost when Anakin is clearly the better option for that scene. You continue the grandfather theme, Kylo gets his face-turn pep talk from the guy he's been wrongfully idolizing, force ghosts are already a thing so you don't have to explain "memories" or whatever, and it adds some more fan service to the pile. I get that Hayden is from the dreaded prequels but it's still part of the *saga* that's ending. Close some loops!

I would've lost my poo poo in theater if it was force ghost Hayden gently caress

Rey channelling all Jedi was pretty anime but they should have gone really anime and have bad CGI ghosts guiding her, especially SLJ for the reverse lightning. Go big or go home you already have an improbable flotilia of undead star destroyers with death star cannons you are already hosed up on baby bullshit.

fatherboxx fucked around with this message at 08:54 on Dec 23, 2019

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Shaman Ooglaboogla posted:

I liked the girl smuggler whose only purpose was to take off her visor (but not full helmet) to establish she IS hot, and that Poe wants to bang her and is NOT gay.

Don't worry, there were nameless consolation lesbians so the LGBTs will be sated.

she also had rear end is a tight suit which is, fair, because Keri Russell why not

both Poe and Finn got such definitive injections of the Case of Notgays like it is early 90s or something

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Gaunab posted:

That whole part was so stupid. Why do the bombers move so slow? Why are there even bombers in space; there's no gravity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phGlo_TNDp0

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Mymla posted:

I can't decide which scene was worse, the one where 500 star destroyers couldn't immediately destroy the rebels' 5 fighters, or the one where 5000 randos showed up out of nowhere for the last battle just because... idk why? Lando made some calls maybe?

Like jesus christ, if there are this many people eager for a Heroic Last Stand Against The Empire in this movie, surely a few of them would've gotten off their rear end for a Heroic Last Stand Against The Empire in the previous movie.

because uhhh boomers are better at networking apparently

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



They will just do another lower budget fanservice as gently caress series on Disney+ and a Feige-produced 3hr movie that is 30% xwings 30%alien babies and 40% horrible quips that is going to make 4 billion dollars and an ungodly amount of merch money

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



OctoberCountry posted:

Alleged concept art from Trevorrow's version of Episode 9

https://imgur.com/a/lX9JG8F

A lot of rad art but another Sith master being a generic gleepglop sucks

Grey junkard mess of Coruscant battle aligns well with Disney final battle flavor ala Endgame and whatever was in IX

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Elfgames posted:

the idea that ballance is some kind of midpoint between light and dark, is the loving stupidest thing

You put some points in dark for force choke and some in light for healing and better dialogue options, win-win

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Snowman_McK posted:

does anyone remember when TROS fell apart in their eyes? For the first half hour or so (I didn't look at my watch, so I'm guessing) it seemed fine, if a little rushed. It was the Chewbacca death fakeout that clearly marks the line between 'an actual film' and 'whatever jumbled notes were left as they jammed scripts together'

When they loudly proclaimed they need to find a mcguffin
Epic ending of your trilogy dudes, a bad videogame quest

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Kart Barfunkel posted:

Yeah or even just silently launching one at a time as they were finished. Probably more effective.

But gently caress me for throwing any critical thinking at the Rise of Skywalker.

Foregoing practicality in favor of theatrics and Sith puppetmaster bullshit is on brand for Palps. He could've easily splatted the Rebellion in Jedi but let the trap marinate for longer all for the drama of seducing Luke to the Dark Side.

Of course in RoS it is even more ridiculous and hyperbolic and "beacons" make even less sense than a remote shield generator

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Bad Batch looks amazing
Rogue Squadron as the only movie in that pile makes me hyped as gently caress

Other shows are eh and I am sure half of them wont happen
If Ahsoka is all Filoni and Mandalorian team then it would rule

The_Doctor posted:

If there's any justice, they're bringing a huge truck full of money to Donald Glover's front door.

just make it the next season of Atlanta but with droids and twileks

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Going back to real extras in printed stormtrooper armor was a good, if purely reactive decision, watching any scenes with clones from 2 and 3 is PAINFUL

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



HookedOnChthonics posted:

no one will ever convince me this wasn't a deliberate gently caress-you by Lucas to the kinds of nerds who like pretending to be fascist soldiers and obsessing over their pretend-fascism reenactment kit

Going full CG troopers to prevent nerds from scalping armor pieces on auctions sounds as a very Gorge solution to a non-problem

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Glottis posted:

This thought occurred to me today - what if JJ Abrams, who we all know filmed like 8 hours of nonsense to make The Rise of Skywalker, is seeing all the news about The Snyder Cut hoping that he'll make The JJ Cut? It actually wouldn't surprise me if the real movie he wanted to make is somehow hidden on the cutting room floor.


Of course that movie probably also sucks.

Abrams always has a lot of projects in the pipeline that he can jump to producing or directing, so very unlikely
Besides, Disney+ is not as desperate as HBO MAX for that kind of exclusives and if they need fanbaity polishing project they can always break emergency glass and do proper "demastered" version of OT without Jedi Rocks and other bullshit

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Grendels Dad posted:

Excluding DJ, we have no indication of how the FO conducts business. Kylo is unstable, but that's not the same as the random terror of Vader altering deals. The FO is shiny and precise and nothing in the movies suggests they are going to arrest their supporters.

They are psychos that nuked several planets and obsessively cosplay a galaxy-spanning regime that is still fresh in the living memory

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



TheDeadlyShoe posted:

Palpatine was never Hitler though - he kept order and he ran the empire, but the Imperial hierarchy despised his religion and his force powers.

Did they know he had supernatural powers? I thought that for them Vader was the only open weirdo with a sword as set up in New Hope.

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Jewmanji posted:

The line from Motti is “Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebels' hidden fortress”

Yeah I dont think he would have dared to say that if he knew that Palps was the spooky wizard too

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Babysitter Super Sleuth posted:

the whole holdo-poe dynamic makes a lot more sense when you realize that their entire plot started as "those loving piece of poo poo podcast bros are disrespecting Are Abuela and need to be taught a lesson in Respect" and literally everything in the film is awkwardly backfilled to try and communicate that position

Thats a very solipsistic way to watch the space fighting movie to say the least

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Robot Style posted:

Yeah, the second draft of the script goes into extreme detail about what kinds of people support the Empire. As Luke tells his younger brothers:

quote:

When the Jedi discovered the conspiracy and attempted to purge the Senate, they were denounced as traitors. Several Jedi allowed themselves to be tried and executed, but most of them fled into the Outland systems and tried to tell people of the conspiracy. But the elders chose to remain behind, and the Great Senate diverted them by creating civil disorder. The Senate secretly instigated race wars, and aided anti-government terrorists.

Reads like Qanon forums not gonna lie

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Battle over communication jammer because "Leia's message" went from a plot point to a mythological piece that both creators and in-universe characters worship seems a very stupid and plausible concept. I get why the nefarious Disney/Lucasfilm hivemind that the leaker refers to axed it in favor of a more understandable spectacle thing. But going for thousand extreme death star destroyers is a very napkin drawing development without anyone saying no or bothering to workshop more.

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



2house2fly posted:

*becomes intoxicated with themes* aaaa ha ha ha haaa

Rian huffing the themes, holding poor producer assistant hostage on a joyride in a studio lot golf car

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



The REAL Goobusters posted:

Who cares it rules when you’re a kid.

Duel of the fates rules
gungans versus rogers was cool

Kid Anakin blowing up the station on accident always sucked rear end

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Ghost Leviathan posted:

The prequels still basically gloss over that, iirc Leia's adoptive father is supposed to be a significant character but I barely remember him?

He is in this hilarious scene

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPtvBP8S0ZM

And stands next to Padme in "this is how liberty dies" scene which, imo, is enough to set him up as future backer of the Rebellion. Jimmy Smits has screen presence.

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013




Sure but the truth is Filoni and the story group thought that using Kanan was better than inventing a new surviving Jedi and comparatively nobody read the comic, moving pictures always take priority in Star Wars canon over static ones and words.

Otherwise we can declare anything that we don't like/doesnt fit in-universe drunken ravings

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



I dont think an army of zealots following a wizard maps that well to dry faceless soviet gerontocracy

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fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Babysitter Super Sleuth posted:

The politics in the sequel trilogy are weird and vague and muddled because Disney didn’t want to commit to any particular ideology for fear of alienating adherents to other, conflicting, ideology.

Thats par for the course for Star Wars movies in general, some vague allusions (rebels good empire bad) make them easy to project whatever values you have on them while laser go vrrrrm.

you'd be correct to read New Hope as rich liberal boomers being mad at Nixon (but not that mad, it is still a fight to restore status quo from usurpers)

fatherboxx fucked around with this message at 08:50 on May 28, 2021

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