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MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




When TFA came out I called Rey as being Prince Kens daughter.

Instead shes his sister.

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MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Lol Triclops is back.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Dark Empire IV: Rise of Triclops.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




They seriously should have re-used the Galaxy Gun and the ridiculous Eclipse-class Super Extra Super Star Destroyer.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




I found the Palpatine transmission!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWbFni6_25Y

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Turns out, she was a Joestar.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




I found out how Palpatine survived! Hot scoop!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFfm-oDj3M4

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




"Ceterum censeo Star Warsinem esse delendam."
- Palpatine the Elder

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Palpatine was a big fan of Alita and came back from the dead to make sure it would get sequels until it got to Gunnm: Last Order.

His favourite character is Desty Nova, of course.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




I love how they scrapped the old Expanded Universe only to do it again except worse.

Evil Solo son.
Super Mega Death Star.
Palpatine Clones.
Palpatine Grandchild!
A Light Side to the Force.

It's incredible.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Please bring back the Yuuzhan Vong next.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




The Final Prophecy is already a good Star Wars movie title.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Force Healing was never "Bring back the dead" good before though.

I wonder when we're getting Jedi Meditation. That one was early in the EU, and kept getting reused.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




qbert posted:

Is this true? Because if the kiss was incest then it's suddenly hot and I'm totally cool with it.

"They essentially raped God!"
- Rich Evans


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVzc20Bm8Xo#t=523s

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




LookingGodIntheEye posted:

For a second I thought you wrote that Palpatine was black now, that would be quite the twist

The ultimate power of saying the N-Word with the Force.

Ok, that's a bad joke, but I'm keeping it in. I should really go to sleep.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




In his books, Thrawn wa ssingled out as an exception and hated by the other military bigshots for it.

Jesus I read these books twenty years ago when I was 11.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




"What's your name?"
"Rey."
"What's your last name?"
"... Dirtfarmer."

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




This was literally just Dark Empire again, except worse somehow.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




I want the Episode X opening scrawl to start with "Chaos reigns!"

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




I said come in! posted:

Yep, all of this is for the hope of eventually making it big. The western market is assuming the Chinese market is an explosion of massive never before seen profits, when in reality the exact opposite is true. All companies here are doing is helping support a pretty brutal government that is using that money to be terrible to its people.

Almost like capitalism is bad.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




If they were going to take stuff from Gundam, they should have stolen the Angel Halo as the new SuperWeapon du jour.

It's a giant machine with a ton of psychics stuck in it to brainwash the entire Earth. Everyone falls asleep and then die of starvation, leaving everything intact to be taken over.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Next movies should go full Shin Megami Tensei with the Galaxy caught between Law and Chaos.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Might as well have had Ysalamiri at this point.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.





Holy poo poo that's Tony Jay's voice.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




They should have gotten Kojima to do the Knights of Ren, and then had them be the main villains of a spin-off videogame.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




All I could think of during the shuttle scene was Xenogears.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjyh94S8Gkk

"Dropping a battleship on me is cheating. Take it back."

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




I still like my idea of a Mad Max-style warlord kidnapping a bunch of children (including Luke) as hostages and Obi-Wan and Lars teaming up to free them.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




The real reason Owen is mad at Obi-Wan will turn out to be some boring family drama. Like Obi-Wan cheated at cards or made a pass at Beru while drunk.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Still wanna see that Lucas cut that almost assuredly doesn't exist.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Yeah, sounds like the movie JJ wanted to make would have also been bad, but at least everyone involved would have been way happier with it.

I really don't like JJ as a filmmake,r but he really seems inoffensive as a person and I wish the people who worked on the movie had gotten the movie they wanted. Even if I'd still laugh at how abd it was.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




The Cameo posted:

I always say JJ is a poo poo writer, mediocre director at best, but fantastic producer - and its because hes a normal goddamn human being and is extremely loyal to the people he employs, the rarest thing in capitalism. This is a guy who got studios into a bidding war over a script two Bad Robot employees wrote and got those two a million-dollar payday just by saying hey this is a great script and someone should really buy it. Matt Reeves is an internal promotion, going from being one of JJs regular episode directors on Felicity to being given Cloverfield and look at where Reeves has gone since then! Hes got a keen eye for someone elses work being something special and is good at keeping junior executives trying to butt their way into taking claim for something by forcing dumb ideas into the production at bay.

Also after the strange pattern of stories specifically poisoning the reputations of directors that the Mouse House runs aground against and/or people just seeming to up and leave the industry after dealing with them - has anyone even heard from Gareth Edwards since Rogue One? Dude dropped off the planet, and he seemed very excited and prepared for a good long career in the wake of Godzilla - youd think people might wake up to maybe thinking that any, like, Hollywood Reporter story saying so and so kicked puppies on the set of Moon Knight 6 and was drunk every night and hitting on extras is probably absolute trash without actual physical proof in hand to go along with it.

Not that I buy most of that article, but there is probably nuggets of truth sprinkled in here and there.

I don't mind JJ giving small roles to his friends. I would!

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Remember when everyone thought a 7 Samurai Jedi movie had gotten announced and the internet loved it and Disney had to confirm it didn't exist and wouldn't get made?

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Time to bring up the Bounty Hunter Trilogy backstab chart again.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




SuperMechagodzilla posted:

-And, when read as the final film of an ostensible 9-film SaGa, its an astonishing debacle that will resonate through the ages. Just absolute crap.

Alternate music for the Palpatine Boss Battle:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--aiQkxvpj0

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




No Mods No Masters posted:

Miniscule brain: palpatine was finally destroyed by rey

Medium brain: palpatine possessed rey

Large brain: palpatine was always already rey

You have always been here.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




pospysyl posted:

Exogol is the Star Wars hell. It's specifically depicted a a place that cannot be found on any map, only discoverable by unholy artifacts. The trip there involves flying through some kind of magnetic dimensional warp. The "good guys" (Luke, Leia, Yoda, Han Solo) are permitted to stay in the world of the living, while the bad guys, like Palpatine, are condemned to Exogol. Palpatine dies and becomes King of Hades, his line "I am all the Sith" a callback to "I am the Senate". The confusion over whether the Exogolians are ghosts or aliens is deliberate; in Exogol, the dead take on physical matter. However, as in most depictions of the Underworld, the Exogolians aren't constrained by physical laws, allowing them to craft hundreds of giant spaceships. The Emperor and Exogol as a whole are mainly concerned with the taking of life, in this movie literalized as some kind of magical Force Drain maneuver. On another level, the Emperor wants to take Rey's life for his own. The ultimate plan of Exogol is to merge the worlds of the living and the dead by killing everything.

Now, one might say that the sort-of Daoist mysticism of the previous Star Wars films doesn't allow for this Manichaeic dualism, and I would agree. I probably wouldn't have ended the Star War with a fight against demons from Hell. I don't even think it fits with the other movies in the Falcon trilogy.

So Emperor Palpatine pulled off an Empire Mateus Palamecia-style move.

Which means next trilogy will be about defeating Light Half Sheev.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




One of my ideas for alternate villains would have been old Jedi, probably frozen in cryostasis somewhere, returning and finding out that the Republic betrayed them and killed them all. So they decide that clearly the Galaxy cannot rule itself and needs enlightened Jedi rule and decide to take over. They manage to convince a bunch of Luke's students and so you have conflict within the new Jedi order as well.

I might run that as a Tabletop Campaign one of thse days. My own Episodes VII-IX.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Basebf555 posted:

Wasn't there an EU novel where Luke went to some Jedi temple and found an old Jedi Master there who'd been hanging out there for the entire rise and fall of the Empire and had gone crazy from the solitude?

Probably.

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




I like Cad Bane, even if his name is stupid. Amazing voice, great design, entertaining villain.

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MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdqoNKCCt7A

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