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Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

My first reaction was to hate this. However, if they go the SWTOR cutscene route then it could be fun to watch at least. I mean, they did sucker me into playing an incredibly mediocre MMO.

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Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Flavius Aetass posted:

PTSD former stormtrooper on a mission to save a loved one and the galaxy upon arriving: WOW CRAPS TABLES

lmao

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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It's a pretty scene, but a bad way to resolve a plot because it invites a lot of fridge logic that second guesses why and when someone could do that tactically.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Brother Entropy posted:

light speed ramming isn't normally done because ships are expensive and the enemy usually has their shields up and can shoot you down if they aren't distracted by something else

complaining about the ramming is cinemasins-level analysis

The enemy ships' shields were down?

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Brother Entropy posted:

admittedly it's been awhile since i've seen TLJ but i recall something about the first order flagship not having shields up because as far at they could tell the resistance were full on in escape mode

I haven't watched TLJ so I only know the summaries and spoilers, but everything about it sounds like the story is driven by the incompetence of the First Order. Like, Poe being able to fly around and blow a bunch of crap up because the dreadnaught decided it wasn't worth launching TIES. And if Holdo was relying on them to have their shields down for that maneuver, then it just sounds like bad writing.

That's just me, though. :shrug:

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Schwarzwald posted:

The common note with all of these is that they're largely explained ahead of time in dialog of the film. Even in situations where things go wrong (like the attack on the DS2 shield base) the audience knows what the goal is and can appreciate how things might fail. The lightspeed ram in TLJ is a different thing; it's not just a surprise to the characters, it's a surprise to the audience. This isn't necessarily bad, but it's very unlike Lucas's Star Wars.

This is something that also bothered me in TFA. I went into the movie cautiously optimistic because I saw what JJ Abrams did with his Star Trek movies. The fact that key plot points aren't conveyed to the audience (Church of the Force, choosing Anakin's lightsaber lost at Bespin rather than using Luke's ROTJ one, why the Republic doesn't consider the First Order a threat despite its massive military, the "thrown together" plan to blow up Starkiller Base, etc) really bothered me. It's why I chose to wait on TLJ. When I read the reviews, saw Hamill's reaction, and various synopses, I was glad I didn't waste $15-20 and 2.5 hours watching it.

That's just me, though. :shrug:

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Brother Entropy posted:

no because this posits that anyone at disney considered making an alien an important character in the first place

Well, Raddus did pretty well for himself. Even got a ship named after him.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Brother Entropy posted:

i had to google who this was which i feel disputes the 'important' part of 'important character'

I was being facetious

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Brother Entropy posted:

it gets hard to tell in this thread sometimes........

Fair dues.

He was kind of important in Rogue One. I thought it was funny that they named the ship Holdo ended up kamikaze-ing into the First Order after him.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Cross-Section posted:

Making Star Wars (via patreon-exclusive podcast) is saying that Han is Rey's daddy, who had her when he was estranged from Leia. Kylo (and apparently Lando??) knows but nobody else does.

Lmao, Han and Qi'ra hooked up, lol

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Robot Style posted:

Baron Fel was the bestest most killingest pilot in the Empire, and married a famous actress who was secretly Wedge Antilles' sister. After the Emperor died, he decided the Empire had become too corrupt, and he defected to the New Republic.

Then he got recaptured by the Empire, and handed over to Grand Admiral Thrawn, the other most smartest and best Imperial in the galaxy. Thrawn told him that the Empire is actually the good guys now, and that the real enemy is all the bad hombres looking to hop the galactic border wall to take everyone's jobs.

Then when the bad hombres showed up, and original recipe Kylo Ren turned the New Republic into a total shitshow, Fel and his handsome ace pilot son showed up and were like "Anyone want an Empire?".
Fel's son married Han & Leia's daughter and then a hundred years later one of his descendants got really pissed off because a Sand Person took his throne.

The EU is garbage

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Barudak posted:

Whats mind blowing is the new EU is just as bad but in less time

I think because the old EU tried new things, whereas the new EU is trying old things again but bigger and in your face. It's like Poochie, and it needs to go away.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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General Dog posted:

It’s mind boggling that they can make a Star Wars trilogy where the actual Star War is so poorly defined.

It really wouldn't have taken much to fix that, especially in a movie series where there is an opening screen crawl before anything even happens.

But no.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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galagazombie posted:

To be fair Qui-Gon didn't ruin Anakin since he died. Obi-Wan himself seems pretty sure that it was himself who failed Anakin, though I think the Orders failings can be given a large part of the blame. Qui-Gon is portrayed as someone who has issues with Order orthodoxy, so maybe had he not gotten stabbed Anakin would have had a more healthy mental state.

Obi-Wan also doesn't seem really thrilled to train Anakin. They don't really seem to ever get along. Anakin might be a creepy weirdo, but I'm sure having Obi-Wan cut him down (lol) whenever anyone compliments him doesn't help.

Random Stranger: *To Anakin* "Thank you for helping us, Master Jedi."

Obi-Wan: *To Stranger* "Well, actually...he's just a Padawan. My Padawan. He's not a Jedi yet."

Anakin: *Dark Side Intensifies*

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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No Mods No Masters posted:

And he was a good friend

lol

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Ingmar terdman posted:

his future wife is the one that says this lol. Obi does chastise him like a child in front of her earlier though.

Obi's promotion to knighthood and taking on a padawan happens all at once and only after they hastily honor the dying wish of the first guy in their organization to get killed in the line of duty by their old nemesis. They are resistant to both ideas earlier in the film. It's really weird that they make the rare exception to their admission age rules and then also pair him up with someone who has basically just graduated. They're all dumb

Woulda loved to see Luke's face when he found out about Quigon whilst watching the PT

Lol, I forgot that Padme says that. Doesn't Obi-Wan say something like that, too? I remember that he rubs it in during the Battle of Geonosis when Anakin suggests something to the clones that works, and Obi-Wan follows up with, "Good job, my Padawan Learner."

Obi-Wan is such a massive dickhead, and I wish we were getting a Qui-Gon movie instead.


That lightsaber duel is very :discourse:

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Mooey Cow posted:

That's actually Obi-Wan giving a compliment; "Good call, my young Padawan". He says "Only in your mind, my very young apprentice" when Anakin thinks he's better than Yoda at lightsabering, and also some similar stuff when Anakin's trying to impress Padme by apparently exceeding their mandate early in the film.

The way that scene plays out is that it starts with Obi-Wan and Anakin in the elevator with a bit of friendly joking and stuff, and then when they meet Padme, Anakin starts acting in a way Obi-Wan clearly isn't used to. The idea isn't that they're acting like that towards each other all the time, though I hear some people read it as Obi-Wan was actually also trying to impress Padme by showing who's in charge...

I see your point with the lightsabering, but whenever I watch Ep II the "Good call, my young Padawan" sounds like Obi-Wan rubbing the difference in. I always felt like Qui-Gon treated Obi-Wan with a little more respect, but that could just be my own bias.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Timby posted:

I don't get this criticism at all. It's not like Lucas wasn't pulling everything out of his rear end on the original trilogy.

It's probably because you have two directors with completely opposite ideas of where things are going. JJ set up a direction for the story to go, albeit poorly. Rian put a big "X" through JJ's open-ended story elements and did his own thing. Say what you will about Lucas' overall plan (Splinter of A Mind's Eye versus Empire Strikes Back), but he never completely reversed course on villains, personalities, or story themes between movies in the Original Trilogy.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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galagazombie posted:

I think people have a hard time understanding that "Lucas planned everything ahead of time to the last detail" and "Lucas made up literally everything on set as the actors were speaking it" are not the only two options to choose from. Yes Lucas changed stuff and made up new stuff as he went along, and yes he allowed the story to grow into new places. But he also had a general idea of what the stories central themes were, what the ideas he wanted to get across were, how the aforementioned fit in with what had happened previously in the story, and a general idea of where he wanted things to end up.

Thank you, this is what I was trying to get across

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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pospysyl posted:

Rey and co are good because they like Star Wars and buy Star Wars merchandise. Luke used to like Star Wars, but he sold his merchandise collection after the prequels came out. Kylo Ren only likes Revenge of the Sith, and the rest of the First Order haven't seen any of the movies.

This...this makes a lot of sense

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"
I just really wanted ROTJ to mean something. It's my favorite Star Wars film, and mainly because Luke is my boy. He goes from being a gawky loser from Tatooine who gets owned by everybody and their brother in A New Hope to being a calm, confident Jedi who manages to do bring his father back from the brink.

garycoleisgod posted:

Chad Luke made the right choices where the Virgin Anakin made the wrong ones, like how Luke treated Vader in the throne room vs how Anakin treated Dooku.

100% this. It's only by showing restraint that Luke manages to beat Palpatine because it gives Vader the chance to make the right choice, save his son and eliminate the monster he managed to put in power.

Seeing that victory get swept away with TFA in a confusing jumble of exposition, explosions, and easter eggs (HURRR, LOOK AT THE POD RACING FLAGS IN MAZ KANATA'S CANTINA, HURRR) just loving sucked. It killed my interest in the Sequel Trilogy.

Bogus Adventure fucked around with this message at 08:28 on May 31, 2019

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Milkfred E. Moore posted:

Meanwhile, the ST doesn't even seem to know how to move on from there. Did Luke tell the galaxy what Vader did? Did he keep it a secret, and therefore enjoy the reputation of killing not only Palpatine but also Vader? Sounds like that'd put a lot of stress on the guy, when people are cheering you on for killing the man only you and one other knew to be your father. Did Luke never talk about it? Quite possibly the biggest moment in the OT, and the ST just kind of ignores it.

Everyone: Wait, what happened to the New Republic? Why did Luke change so much? WHAT IS GOING ON???

Sequel Trilogy: A good question for another time



(All questions to be answered in Episodes XXXI-XLIII)

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"
Just compare the title crawls

Episode IV Title Craw posted:

It is a period of civil war.
Rebel spaceships, striking
from a hidden base, have won
their first victory against
the evil Galactic Empire.

During the battle, Rebel
spies managed to steal secret
plans to the Empire's
ultimate weapon, the DEATH
STAR, an armored space
station with enough power to
destroy an entire planet.

Pursued by the Empire's
sinister agents, Princess
Leia races home aboard her
starship, custodian of the
stolen plans that can save
her people and restore
freedom to the galaxy.....

Episode VII Title Crawl posted:

Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In his absence, the sinister
FIRST ORDER has risen from
the ashes of the Empire
and will not rest until
Skywalker, the last Jedi,
has been destroyed.

With the support of the
REPUBLIC, General Leia Organa
leads a brave RESISTANCE.
She is desperate to find her
brother Luke and gain his
help in restoring peace
and justice to the galaxy.

Leia has sent her most daring
pilot on a secret mission
to Jakku, where an old ally
has discovered a clue to
Luke's whereabouts....

Which one sets the stage better?

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Darth TNT posted:

The First order then completely decides to ignore Luke. :v:

We also have no idea why the Republic needed a resistance and why they don't have an army. :shrug: What ever happened to the Rebel fleet that attacked the Death Star? (Except apparently they did and they apparently get blown up with not Coruscant.)
Also, the old ally is just some old guy no one knows. Instead of I don't know a General Dodonna, Lando, Nien Numb, Ackbar, Wedge Antilles (I know the actor didn't want to reprise) or hell even the guy with the weird head implants from cloud city. Literally anyone other than a no name old guy.


Joking aside, there's honestly, there's nothing wrong with the intro crawl at all and you setting them next to the original one from a new hope demonstrates this clearly.
It's just that the intro crawl doesn't seem to be related to the movie(s) that followed it. :(

I think the first one does a good job of setting the stage for the state of the galaxy. We know there is a civil war between an evil Empire and Rebels. The Rebels apparently are at a disadvantage because they are in hiding, and their opponents have a superweapon. It's pretty cut and dry, and simple for the audience to follow. Of course, it doesn't have the pressure of filling in the blanks that the TFA has to.

The next one sets things up like this. Luke left, and that leads to the First Order succeeding the Empire. The First Order wants Luke dead. Leia is left dealing with the First Order by leading a Resistance that is supported by the Republic for reasons. Oh, by the way, there is a Republic. So...which party is the dominant power? The crawl implies that the First Order is in charge, but the movie treats it like the Republic is. It also doesn't explain why the Republic needs to support resistance fighters instead of fighting the First Order head on. IMO, it's a pretty lovely plot setting. If I was writing it, I would have done something like this:

quote:

The galaxy is in a delicate
state. The Empire is broken,
but still alive. Its remains have
formed the vile FIRST ORDER,
which plots in secret to regain
power.

The nascent Republic,
unable to agree on how to
deal with this new threat,
has turned to Leia Organa to
form a covert RESISTANCE
to oppose them.

To make matters worse,
Luke Skywalker is missing.
Leia has sent her best agent
to the planet Jakku to search
for clues to find the last Jedi.
Alas, her agent is not the
only one who seeks him...

But I'm just a dumbass, so what do I know.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Darth TNT posted:

Amazing, every word of what you just said is right. :)

I agree the first one is perfect for every reason you state.

The second one is not bad, but it's inconsistent to itself and to the movie that follows. The first paragraphs sets the stakes well enough. Luke is gone and the Empire is reborn.
But the second paragraph is where it goes off the rails. Like you said why is there a Resistance when the Republic is in power? Or was the First Order in power? :iiam:
I don't have a problem with it mentioning that Republic exists, the Empire collapsed probably because the Emperor died and time has passed so a Republic was formed. :shrug: It's not much different than saying that there is an evil Empire in the first crawl. It's something I'm willing to accept with no buts.
Your rewrite fixes the New Republic/Resistance issue. But I think it can be made serviceable and clear with even a minor rewrite:


In hindsight, it's pretty silly that they only send one guy to follow up their only lead.

Well, I did my best to keep things consistent with what is shown in the movie and what is mentioned in the new expanded universe stuff. The Republic Senate can't agree on how to tackle the First Order, with the majority in charge not seeing it as an imminent threat. A minority of Senators and former Rebel Alliance officers want to attack it, so they form the private Resistance. I think it's meant to be more than a search party, as they do drive the First Order away from Takodana. :shrug:

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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wdarkk posted:

This was covered in a novel or some poo poo, there was a treaty that limited the size of militaries (that the First Order were totally ignoring). It's just a rehash of League of Nations and Interwar Era.

That's what we're frustrated about. It's not that they didn't answer it at all, but that they answered it in the books/comics/premium series that Disney wants people to buy rather than in the movie.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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General Dog posted:

Also frustrating is the underlying implication that the central conflict (the titular “star war”) is so worthless as to be relegated to DLC

Disney is turning Star Wars into the Asura's Wrath of movies

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Darth TNT posted:

Good point. They're very well armed for a search party, but that could be excused by either saying they were worried about the First Order or simply make the Takodana not the Resistance but the Republic Army.

I'm amazed they couldn't even commit to a proper text crawl. :(

Yeah. To be fair, TLJ seems to have done a better job at summarizing things.

Episode VIII posted:

The FIRST ORDER reigns.
Having decimated the peaceful
Republic, Supreme Leader Snoke
now deploys the merciless
legions to seize military
control of the galaxy.

Only General Leia Organa's
band of RESISTANCE fighters
stand against the rising
tyranny, certain that Jedi
Master Luke Skywalker will
return and restore a spark of
hope to the fight.

But the Resistance has been
exposed. As the First Order
speeds toward the rebel base,
the brave heroes mount a
desperate escape....

Not sure what to expect from JJ, though. :shrug:

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Why would you need to discuss it when there are far more important characters to focus on, like *checks notes* Alcida-Auka and Porg #3.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Beeez posted:

I think instead of destroying it, the Lucasfilm Story Group will just change the name of it to REY'S SHIP officially, so it should be fine.

Looks good on paper to me

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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FlamingLiberal posted:

I remember reading that Star Wars book where they killed off Chewie by dropping a moon on him

Also the alien villains had living coral ships

SALVATORE!!!!!! :argh:

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Ammanas posted:

i genuinely dont see whats wrong with killing chewbacca by dropping a moon on him
sounds pretty amazing

Because he could have killed Threepio, and then we'd all be happier

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Wild Horses posted:

I wish they’d be as cool and ’orrible as The Plague

Or even creepy and fire-obsessed like The Family in The Omega Man

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Ingmar terdman posted:

Weird how the lightsaber doesn't give you visions of dozens of slaughtered children

Or how it failed each of it's prior wielders. If it turns out that the lightsaber is the true villain of the Sequel Trilogy, I will lol.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Ingmar terdman posted:

Doctor Who guy as the Voice of the Naughty Kyber Crystal

lmao

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Knight2m posted:

We've gone two movies and no one has lost an arm (except C3PO, but no one cares about him).

Seriously though, of all the things Disney won't do, they won't cut off Rey's arm.

That's what Finn is there for.

Poor Finn :ohdear:

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Mooey Cow posted:

Didn't they do something like that in one of the JJ Treks? It would take a lot of gall to pull the exact same thing twice.

Oh, well turns out that was just a random ship and not the Enterprise, but hey wait a minute, those shots where the Starfleet people look up at the crashing ship are almost identical to the ones in TFA when the planet blows up. JJ, you hack :argh:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHMnm9sFo1w

Into Darkness is one of the worst movies ever made. I hate it so much.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Lol, no. The prologue section where the crew of the Enterprise saves the Nibirans is the only good part. That was classic Trek action, and loving ruled. Everything else that followed was dogshit written by a 9/11 truther.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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Hell yeah, LOBOT IS IN THE MOVIE!!!

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Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

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I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Disney. I mean, if they hadn't killed my interest in Star Wars, I might be spending all of my money on movies, toys, games, and other garbage. I'd also like to thank CBS for killing my love of Star Trek as well for the same reasons. I'm rollin' in cash I totally wouldn't have had.

It's not that much money, though... :(

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