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Halisnacks
Jul 18, 2009
I wasn't sure if this was a topic for D&D or E/N, but in the end I opted to post here.

I've had a number of dilemmas recently in which I didn't know what choice was the correct one. They were dilemmas precisely because both sides could have healthy defences, and neither would seem "wrong". To give a flavour, these were questions like "do you want to live near your family [and cultivate healthy, closer relationships with them]" or "do you want to live abroad [and make new connections, develop cultural awareness and a deeper understanding of the world"? Or, "do you want to work very demanding hours in a tough profession [to increase your earning power and savings and make later life more certain and comfortable]" or "do you want to follow your (less well-remunerated) passion [and find your life's work meaningful and stimulating, beyond a paycheque]"?

I'm sure you all have opinions on the specific examples, but that's beside the point. In those two examples, I think I could rationalise either course of action and not feel like a terrible person. But I find I'm lacking a framework to actually make these decisions: I don't know what I value.

How did you (or does one) determine what is valuable in life?

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Flowers For Algeria
Dec 3, 2005

I humbly offer my services as forum inquisitor. There is absolutely no way I would abuse this power in any way.


I follow my morals, which are objective and unerring, so as to be good in all circumstances.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




I roll a d100 on the treasure table as mandated in the Monsterous Manual, compare the result mentally to my expected wealth per level, and decide if it is valuable to me based on that.

Sundae
Dec 1, 2005

Halisnacks posted:

How did you (or does one) determine what is valuable in life?

I ask myself which option allows me to amass the greatest amount of green paper that my family will fight over before I'm even fully rotted away, and then I drink copious amounts of alcohol before following said course of action.

Then I leave it all of it to a school for orphans in India and cackle at my descendants from beyond the grave.

Ms Adequate
Oct 30, 2011

Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling



I don't know to what extent most people have a system for deciding or understanding what they value in this regard. In large part because this is going to change and vary according to time, place, and experiences. A young person might find excitement and exploration valuable, but if they happen to have a bad time at college or in the big city, come to find more worth in a less high-pressure environment back in their hometown. A newlywed couple might value excitement, then have kids and find stability far more important, then have excitement reassert itself when the kids are older. And these things are never decided in a vacuum; the importance of how well your job pays you could hinge on your mental health (Someone with social anxiety might have a hard time arguing in court no matter how good their law degree is) or how pressing loan repayments are or plenty of other factors you can only really know at the time of decision.

I figure most people don't really have any set system for knowing what they hold to be valuable or important; they just live life and find out. :shrug:

Flowers For Algeria
Dec 3, 2005

I humbly offer my services as forum inquisitor. There is absolutely no way I would abuse this power in any way.


Basically take the path of least effort and of least obedience.

BoneMonkey
Jul 25, 2008

I am happy for you.

Why don't you kill yourself?

This isn't a joke it's a question. List out all the reasons that you don't kill yourself, everything from friends and family. All the way down to I like how cake tastes.

Put that list into order of in importance. (Ie if I never get to have cake again it's only gonna make me want to kill myself a fraction more. If I lose all my friends and family and I am left alone forever then that is a bigger reason to kill myself.)

Do more of the things at the top of your list.

(Fyi this list can change. I thought I wanted to be paided to do art for a lot of my life. I achieved that dream, and then it turned out that sitting down in an office 8 hours a day sucked and I hated it. So I got a less well paying job which has nothing to do with art and I am far happier.)

BoneMonkey fucked around with this message at 11:39 on May 13, 2018

Halisnacks
Jul 18, 2009
I suppose my particular issue is ordering the list. There are a lot of mutually exclusive “ties”.

DrSunshine
Mar 23, 2009

Did I just say that out loud~~?!!!
Friend, I think you have stumbled on an open question that philosophy has been attempting to answer for, literally, thousands and thousands of years. It still hasn't come close to being answered. However, you can start to wrestle with it if you try delving into some of the big name philosophers, starting from Siddhartha and Plato and moving onwards through the ages to Kierkegaard, Sartre, and through to the modern day. You should try looking in the Philosophy Thread in SAL and I'm sure the people there would be happy to point you to some recommendations.

RuanGacho
Jun 20, 2002

"You're gunna break it!"

Halisnacks posted:

I wasn't sure if this was a topic for D&D or E/N, but in the end I opted to post here.

I've had a number of dilemmas recently in which I didn't know what choice was the correct one. They were dilemmas precisely because both sides could have healthy defences, and neither would seem "wrong". To give a flavour, these were questions like "do you want to live near your family [and cultivate healthy, closer relationships with them]" or "do you want to live abroad [and make new connections, develop cultural awareness and a deeper understanding of the world"? Or, "do you want to work very demanding hours in a tough profession [to increase your earning power and savings and make later life more certain and comfortable]" or "do you want to follow your (less well-remunerated) passion [and find your life's work meaningful and stimulating, beyond a paycheque]"?

I'm sure you all have opinions on the specific examples, but that's beside the point. In those two examples, I think I could rationalise either course of action and not feel like a terrible person. But I find I'm lacking a framework to actually make these decisions: I don't know what I value.

How did you (or does one) determine what is valuable in life?

Our value structures are largely driven by the frameworks our society has created for us, and largely our ability to rationalize, (the pure libertarian, frictionless sphere ideal) is an illusion that morphs as our circumstances see fit. We're infused with moral decisions before we even reach self awareness.

If you are raised that part of your family's or societal structure is that consuming meat products is immoral, you have a far more likely chance of adopting that as a value. In contrast, there are things that we have wired into us from our DNA that are mostly common, like care for other humans. These things can be not present in someone and cause what is identified as sociopath.

Nothing I can say will ultimately be unique or entirely novel as a product of the circumstances that have created me, created you. The important thing is to decide what your aspiration is in this life, now being middle aged I can see several paths I might have taken, there were many things along the way that I wish did not happen for one reason or another but the best you can hope for is that you appreciate you have ended up where you have. Some people never experience this satisfaction.

Often the situations we're dealt don't give us much choice, how you determine these choices can be solved by having a religion. I don't mean that in the strictest sense, I mean an ideal that can be a signpost for which general direction will satisfy you. As an example in my case, the religious ideal is "A just world where everyone has the chance and means to become a Hero for someone" because I believe in the inherent positive forward progress of humanity and that there will be more heroes than monsters if no one is oppressed.

If you lack your signpost, you should study a while. Not anything in particular, I don't know what would most benefit you. Self examine and decide what things most cause you fear and doubt, study them and be prepared to be proven wrong, you will be stronger for it.

Ytlaya
Nov 13, 2005

I think most people don't even have the freedom to make such big decisions about what path their life should take. When you're barely getting by you can't exactly just choose to move abroad or make a lot of money through working hard.

RuanGacho
Jun 20, 2002

"You're gunna break it!"

Ytlaya posted:

I think most people don't even have the freedom to make such big decisions about what path their life should take. When you're barely getting by you can't exactly just choose to move abroad or make a lot of money through working hard.

Unfortunately true. Which should inform ones decision making.

BENGHAZI 2
Oct 13, 2007

by Cyrano4747
Throw darts at a dictionary, right now I value

Fascism

gently caress

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

Throw darts at a dictionary, right now I value

Fascism

gently caress

Doesn't say you have to value it positively.

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
I just don't value anything :shrug:

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Halisnacks posted:

How did you (or does one) determine what is valuable in life?
As DrSunshine said this is essentially the central question of philosophy. I personally find a lot of value in the Stoic approach; strive to live in accordance with nature and with yourself, accept whatever is outside of your control, and always maintain virtue as the highest good.

McGiggins
Apr 4, 2014

by R. Guyovich
Lipstick Apathy
What has value to me is what brings me happiness.

I have never been happy, therefor I play video games and simply wait to die, alone and unloved.

I dont see ur problem?

Saladman
Jan 12, 2010
Take whichever choices let you justify skipping out on taxes / hiding assets overseas and let's you harumph about how young people today don't like work while you pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and all poors are just lazy. Bonus points if you had to give up your family, or if your wife had to stop her career and take care of your five children that you never saw because you were working too hard and Uncle Sam was taking all your money and giving it to illegal refugee children.

More seriously: I think the forum you are looking for Ask/Tell https://forums.somethingawful.com/forumdisplay.php?forumid=158

ate shit on live tv
Feb 15, 2004

by Azathoth
The only true value is labor theory of value.

viral spiral
Sep 19, 2017

by R. Guyovich

Sundae posted:

I ask myself which option allows me to amass the greatest amount of green paper that my family will fight over before I'm even fully rotted away, and then I drink copious amounts of alcohol before following said course of action.

Then I leave it all of it to a school for orphans in India and cackle at my descendants from beyond the grave.

same but I eat and smoke enough weed until I feel like a retarded kid for 5 hours before following through on decisions like this

Freakazoid_
Jul 5, 2013


Buglord
Free healthcare and a basic income, because then I could just play video games and post on this forum all day.

JBP
Feb 16, 2017

You've got to know, to understand,
Baby, take me by my hand,
I'll lead you to the promised land.
Get high as hell. Put on Also Sprach Zarathustra.

icantfindaname
Jul 1, 2008


To own the libs. To see their late night comedians driven before you, to hear the lamentations of the wonks as an irresponsible left-wing populist demagogue offers the public things like free health care and actually prosecuting white collar criminals

icantfindaname fucked around with this message at 10:09 on May 23, 2018

Unormal
Nov 16, 2004

Mod sass? This evening?! But the cakes aren't ready! THE CAKES!
Fun Shoe
Tacos.

GoldStandardConure
Jun 11, 2010

I have to kill fast
and mayflies too slow

Pillbug
Be excellent to each other, and party on.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

icantfindaname posted:

To own the libs. To see their late night comedians driven before you, to hear the lamentations of the wonks as an irresponsible left-wing populist demagogue offers the public things like free health care and actually prosecuting white collar criminals

Thank you for at least alluding to the only possible answer. It's more than anyone else has done.

therobit fucked around with this message at 05:22 on May 24, 2018

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
Cum.

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R. Guyovich
Dec 25, 1991

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