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Hyrax Attack!
Jan 13, 2009

We demand to be taken seriously


-A friend believed a rumor (possibly from EGM) that completing the Facility level in Goldeneye 64 in under 1:55 on the hardest difficulty would unlock special multiplayer characters. For context, finishing in under 2:05 did unlock invincible mode but was dependent on where an NPC randomly spawned. He was successful but nothing happened, so we assumed the real cut off time was 1:50 and he should keep trying.

-In GTA 4 there is an achievement for flying under all the bridges. I thought I had them all but found there was a small bridge in a park that barely had any room to maneuver. Many a helicopter exploded before I made it, but nothing unlocked. I then checked online and realized there was a much larger bridge I missed and the tiny park bridge wasn't required.

-SimCity 2000's manual advised against sending firemen to contain rioters, as "rioters will beat up the firefighters." Intentionally creating high unemployment and urban ruin to promote unrest then sending in the boys in red did not spawn newspaper articles about fire engines being overturned, the rioters just ignore them.

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Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



-i dont give a gently caress

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

*Suck My Balls*

Grimey Drawer

WatermelonGun
May 7, 2009




i used to jerk off during sheeva mirror matches in ultimate mortal kombat 3

Negrostrike
Aug 15, 2015





"Hurr durr if I keep jumping I'll make it underneath this thing right"

lol but seriously I
Feb 24, 2007

~*weird*~*lf*~*chicken*~*thing*~


Grimey Drawer

Negrostrike posted:



"Hurr durr if I keep jumping I'll make it underneath this thing right"

Its saddening but not surprising me that my child brain didn't make the leap from "this isn't working" to "try something else"

Chomp8645
Sep 1, 2006

Don't ever leave me hangin' buddy!

I once attempted to have an enjoyable time playing MOBAs.

Siljmonster
Dec 16, 2005

im a gay doug


Video games make me poo poo my pants

Stexils
Jun 4, 2008



the roller coaster tycoon manual told me that planting trees alongside paths would make the guest experience cool and refreshing when it actually does nothing. NOTHING

Mr. Bones
Jan 2, 2011

ain't no law says a skeleton can't play the blues

I attempted to 100% Mario Galaxy 1 for a while after beating it, but when I found out the "Grand Finale Galaxy" was just the area you start in with no extra cool stuff to do I was like "yeah, gently caress that" and I never touched it again

I'm still kinda mad about that, what a bunch of bullshit.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Unnnnngh


Soiled Meat

I got curious about how ethnicity of children was determined in Black & White 2 when your villages include more than one.

About an hour later I learned two things: all children are the same ethnicity as their mother without exception and I had basically committed holocaust-style genocide on all my Greeks.

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011

We had it all wrong. He's not a frog killer, he's a killer frog.

A lot of people really thought the dam level in the NES Ninja Turtles game was super hard but I never had any real trouble with it. That tap-jump required near the end of level 3 was a much bigger obstacle to me.

It's probably been almost 30 years since I touched this game how the hell do I even remember this? Also I guess this isn't so much an accomplishment attempt as it is a memory. Old man yells at cloud etc. I'll see myself out.

Khorne
May 1, 2002

Goonstone Champ x2

Chomp8645 posted:

I once attempted to have an enjoyable time playing MOBAs.
Be careful not to drown the next time it rains.

Julius CSAR
Oct 3, 2007

Colonel, trust me.

the first time I played Fallout 3 I missed the bridge across the Potomac, swam it (rads and all) and then followed the bank all the way to the North East looking for a way into the city. In this way I wound up finding my way to Rivet City before basically anything else, and had to go backwards through downtown to get to GNR, wondering why it was taking me like five hours to find the place through incredibly high level enemies.

poisonpill
Nov 8, 2009

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.


William Henry Hairytaint posted:

A lot of people really thought the dam level in the NES Ninja Turtles game was super hard but I never had any real trouble with it. That tap-jump required near the end of level 3 was a much bigger obstacle to me.

It's probably been almost 30 years since I touched this game how the hell do I even remember this? Also I guess this isn't so much an accomplishment attempt as it is a memory. Old man yells at cloud etc. I'll see myself out.

You can just walk.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

i had some game accomplishments like 20 years ago

played goldeneye in 007 mode with enemy stats maxed and 0% health so you basically get 1-shot killed within a frame of an enemy seeing you if you dont 1-shot them or stun-lock them. now they call these "dark runs" and people collaborate on how to beat them with glitches that make enemies not shoot at you. but anyway ive done it on facility, cradle, egypt, and aztec and beat the world record "dark run" times on all those but since i dont perpetually live in 1997 all i can do is rile up the community still collaborating on how to do these things without any of them actually being good at the game

and i did a run of starfox 64 where i killed every enemy. just hold down the brake button constantly to have lots of time between groups

edited a baldurs gate save to give my character abilities from every class

won 2 of the westwood red alert 2 ladders. have 2 or 3 tricks with this game that i googled every few years for a long time to see if anyone else ever discovered them too. seems no one else ever did

more recently: i bought tons of games on steam and gog that i havent played

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

No need to sign, we'll take care of that.


Lipstick Apathy

Anyone ever try to do a challenge you know is fake just to prove you were good enough to do it?

Lazyhound
Mar 1, 2004

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous— got me?

Soiled Meat

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

A lot of people really thought the dam level in the NES Ninja Turtles game was super hard but I never had any real trouble with it. That tap-jump required near the end of level 3 was a much bigger obstacle to me.

The dam was easy, but I choked on the jump to get missiles for the van so you could clear debris to progress. I donít think I ever managed it.

gary oldmans diary posted:

won 2 of the westwood red alert 2 ladders. have 2 or 3 tricks with this game that i googled every few years for a long time to see if anyone else ever discovered them too. seems no one else ever did

I think the statute of limitations is up.

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004

Thank You,
Thank You,
Thank You GOD!


One time I played Witcher 3 and it sucked so I stopped.

Space Camp fuckup
Aug 2, 2003



Negrostrike posted:



"Hurr durr if I keep jumping I'll make it underneath this thing right"

Holy poo poo. I haven't thought about that in 20 years.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

in warcraft 3 there is an undead campaign level where you take the sunwell and you can possess a worker and make human buildings. you can make unlimited human heros on that level when you build an altar. i had like a dozen of them with randomly generated names. seems to be the only campaign level where that works

Lazyhound posted:

I think the statute of limitations is up.
some things you take to the grave

gary oldmans diary fucked around with this message at May 15, 2018 around 23:28

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011

We had it all wrong. He's not a frog killer, he's a killer frog.

poisonpill posted:

You can just walk.

I actually meant one in the final sewer of level 3 that requires a gentle jump. I had completely forgotten about the walkable gap.

The Dennis System
Aug 4, 2014



Jerking off to Rumble Roses.

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005

get into shit let it out like diarrhea
got burnt once that was only gonorrhea


I swam all the way around the eastern kingdoms in vanilla WoW

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



Yam Slacker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9wO_rJrQLI

Deified Data
Nov 3, 2015



I liked enchanting 0 weight clothes with a constant low level self-damage enchantment in Oblivion and reverse pickpocketing it on npcs I didn't like. They would then equip it since they automatically equip anything that's weightless and have the effect applied to them.

It was fun to watch them wake up every morning on fire, step out of bed and pass out, take a few more steps and pass out again, etc. If they were lucky they might make it to the breakfast table by sunset only to go back to bed and start the whole wretched process again the next morning. I'd only do it to essential npcs so they wouldn't die. It was heartening to see them keep trying to live a normal life.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

regretfully i admit i want to hear more of these

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Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


Negrostrike posted:



"Hurr durr if I keep jumping I'll make it underneath this thing right"

I figured that thing out. I really was a terribly clever child.

Shame it didn't last.

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