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Prince of Space
Apr 17, 2016



Hell Gem

I have a sunburn.

I have a headache.

I have a stomach ache.

I have a back ache.

I have a tooth ache.

I am in incredible pain.

I've had too much coffee/alcohol/weed/painkillers/cocaine/LSD.

I need to poo poo my guts out and my rear end in a top hat is on fire.

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Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 46 hours!


“I’m lousy with AIDS!”

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000
I just had an epiphany: the internet is useless!


I just post on these forums, op

Edit:

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

“My forums username is ____.”

Credit where its due, I was not the first to make that joke in this thread

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

I ain't got time to bleed.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I found a very useful flyer with 101 ways to say NO to sex. Which reason to say NO to sex makes the most sense for you?

I don't do sex. The coach told me not to. And I have a sunburn.

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

I ain't got time to bleed.


Why does this stop at 91

How will we ever survive without knowing all 101

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

#163 "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

Did you just catch up on the handmaiden's tale, too?

Note: Handmaiden's Tale is a great show to watch if you don't want to be in "the mood".

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Aug 22, 2004

Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.

Blub

Bored posted:

Did you just catch up on the handmaiden's tale, too?

SnakeParty
Oct 30, 2011


My favorites are the ones that will just make the sex-asker even hornier for the sex

“No thanks, rub my back instead”

“No thanks, I don’t want warts on my privates. Please suck my toes”

“I don’t do sex only assplay”

“I would have sex if sex didn’t sting so darn bad”

SnakeParty
Oct 30, 2011


For real, sex stings. It hurts the man

SciFiDownBeat
Jun 19, 2012
HAIKOOLIGAN


#92: Hey, what's that over there? *run away immediately*

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

I thought it was time you had a new av so typed in random picture and this is what came up


#69

"I thought you were different"? What in tarnation!?

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



#187: Thanks but I already had sex for lunch.

Halser
Aug 24, 2016


Blazing Ownager posted:

Why does this stop at 91

How will we ever survive without knowing all 101

92. Sorry, I have to figure out the remaining ways

Captain Splendid
Jan 7, 2009

Qu'en pense Caffarelli?

"I don't want the sheets to get wet."

Swedish Butt-Whistle
Feb 12, 2004

Mentally Trill


Sorry I only gently caress robots

amusinginquiry
Nov 8, 2009



College Slice

"I appreciate the offer, but Are you familiar with 'volcel'?"

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Aug 22, 2004

Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.

Blub

#420 "I'm on smoko."

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at May 17, 2018 around 16:56

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Aug 22, 2004

Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.

Blub

Leave me alone.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

In a world gone mad,
we will not spank the monkey,
but the monkey will spank us.



Uh oh.

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012



Prince of Space posted:

I have a sunburn.

I have a headache.

I have a stomach ache.

I have a back ache.

I have a tooth ache.

I am in incredible pain.

I've had too much coffee/alcohol/weed/painkillers/cocaine/LSD.

I need to poo poo my guts out and my rear end in a top hat is on fire.

I've got a special concocktion that'll clear all that up

bag em and tag em
Nov 4, 2008


A headache is the dumbest excuse because orgasms are excellent for relieving tension and making you feel better

SciFiDownBeat
Jun 19, 2012
HAIKOOLIGAN


No no no no no no no, oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go!

Swedish Butt-Whistle
Feb 12, 2004

Mentally Trill


I'm sorry but I have some posting on the awful forums to do.

Swedish Butt-Whistle
Feb 12, 2004

Mentally Trill


Hey do you want to have sex?

Super Grocery Kart
Apr 6, 2011



Grimey Drawer

“I have to go to the bathroom.”



You can go right here

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



#217: I only get off from Elon Mush v Grimes roleplay.

bag em and tag em
Nov 4, 2008


Super Grocery Kart posted:

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

This is just setting yourself up for a really awkward contest of wills

SciFiDownBeat
Jun 19, 2012
HAIKOOLIGAN


Mooey Cow posted:

#217: I only get off from Elon Mush v Grimes roleplay.

hell same

Swedish Butt-Whistle
Feb 12, 2004

Mentally Trill


Super Grocery Kart posted:

“I have to go to the bathroom.”



You can go right here

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003



Yams Fan

I think there's only been two or three times when I didn't want to have sex, and I just ran away.

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

"You are the best poster... do not let anyone say otherwise."


Do you have stairs in your house?

Obsidianheart
Apr 25, 2017

Throwing off the shadow of a better man.

"Coach said not to. You should gently caress him instead."

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Aug 22, 2004

Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.

Blub

Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

“I’m lousy with AIDS!”

Cosmik Slop
Oct 9, 2007

What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?



No, but do you have any Oxys?

My Imaginary GF
Jul 16, 2005


Jesus comes first.

my bat mitzvah ROCKED
Mar 13, 2002

MY AV IS VERY COOL OP, NOT GETTING ANOTHER

I'd rather watch the game is legit if you're married

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Aug 22, 2004

Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.

Blub

My Imaginary GF posted:

Jesus comes first.

Let's not be premature.

Obsidianheart
Apr 25, 2017

Throwing off the shadow of a better man.

"Did you already clear this with Big Tony? If so, you know the price, and I'm gonna need that cash up front."

runupon cracker
Jan 13, 2006

Excalibur? More like "Needle"


I have balanitis

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Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

Uh... Is your speech over, Mr. Johnson?

Pretend to be a cat and crawl away backwards

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