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Drunk Nerds
Jan 25, 2011



Fun Shoe

"Proving the Irishman's innocence was simple, once you apply deduction. You see, Watson, at the time the robbery was committed, I had determined our Irish suspect was not engaging in fisticuffs in the gutter, nor was he at Catholic mass. Once we eliminate the impossible, whatever remains must be the truth. Therefore, the only remaining option is that he must have been stinking drunk and could not have reasonably climbed up to a third floor balcony to break in and steal the jewels."

<does a long line of tobacco mixed with cocaine>

Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at May 16, 2018 around 14:44

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spathi-wa
Sep 8, 2005
hu hu hu ^_^

Lipstick Apathy

Confederate flag hoisted at 221b Baked St (sic)

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.




spathi-wa posted:

Confederate flag hoisted at 221b Baked St (sic)

Lololol

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014



Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Greasy Daego Wop or Whatever

Jikes
Dec 18, 2005


The door had flown open and a huge negro had burst into the room. He would have been a comic figure if he had not been terrific.

“I’ve wanted to meet you for some time,” said Holmes. “I won’t ask you to sit down, for I don’t like the smell of you, but aren’t you Steve Dixie, the bruiser?”

“That’s my name, Masser Holmes, and you’ll get put through it for sure if you give me any lip.”

“It is certainly the last thing you need,” said Holmes, staring at our visitor’s hideous mouth.

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!

*takes a massive tobacco pipe hit*

Mycroft Holmes
Mar 26, 2010

To the Moon! For Queen and Country!


Sherlock, go home; you're drunk.

Thundercracker
Jun 25, 2004

Proudly serving the Ruinous Powers since as a veteran of the long war.


College Slice

I mean, the first novel was basically "religion of peace lol" except it was the mormons at the time who were boood thirsty extremists.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016


gently caress you Watson you Eye-talian son of a bitch

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


"I have no love for the Jew."

-Sherlock Holmes and the case of the Jew

A. Beaverhausen
Nov 11, 2008

dank space explorer


I obsess over Irene Adler because she is a woman who is capable. A wily unpredictable creature who has somehow escaped her sex's prison of cooking and child rearing

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson
Jun 26, 2005

Feels good man.



a peck of pickled peckers posted:

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Greasy Daego Wop or Whatever

Is this the one where he meets Joe Arpaio?

Fiend
Dec 2, 2001



Elementary my dear Watson - also please use the servant's entrance. You're making the main entry way dirty and unkempt.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure

"You see, Watson, I wear this deerstalker hat and smoke this pipe due to the 'peacocking' philosophy of wenching. Proudly wearing an outfit that makes you stand out from the crowd while employing a tactical form of flirting known as 'negging' allows me to maximize the probability of bringing a promiscuous damsel home for recreational fornication."
-Sherlock Holmes, The Pick-Up Artist Game Is Afoot!

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

a VeRy SpEcIaL pOsTeR


So just regular Sherlock Holmes then

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

FOUNDER AND PRESIDENT OF THE KUATO FAN CLUB 4/2/13-PRESENT

KUATO IS MY HERO! AMA!


Bogus Adventure posted:

"You see, Watson, I wear this deerstalker hat and smoke this pipe due to the 'peacocking' philosophy of wenching. Proudly wearing an outfit that makes you stand out from the crowd while employing a tactical form of flirting known as 'negging' allows me to maximize the probability of bringing a promiscuous damsel home for recreational fornication."
-Sherlock Holmes, The Pick-Up Artist Game Is Afoot!

Lol

Im Ready for DEATH
Oct 5, 2016




"Your powers of observation are a credit to your normally simple race, Cyber-Negro."

Horrible Lurkbeast
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Sherlock straight up shooting the crooked man and his monkey for going native.

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014



Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

Is this the one where he meets Joe Arpaio?

Yeah. Watson is also replaced by Steven Segal. The two of them bulldoze a house, flattening the Hound of the Baskerville.

SCROTO TURBOSPERG
Jan 21, 2007

Suck the shit out of my own asshole, please

I bet it was those sneaky pollacks

Horrible Lurkbeast
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


The urchins are not referred to as the street Arabs, Holmes pelts them with stones while shouting about the lazy youth of today.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance.



Smellrose

"By Jove, Watson!" Holmes ejaculated, "Don't you realize this is evidence that Catholics in thrall to the beast in Rome wish to destroy our Protestant nation?"

Vincent Van Goatse fucked around with this message at May 16, 2018 around 17:16

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005
Oh, Jesus fuck. It's like the Nazis opened The Ark Of The Covenant, and I looked.


‘Aha! Chopsticks, clearly this is the work of an unscrupulous, buck-toothed Chinaman!’ Holmes proclaimed. ‘They’ve managed to escape, and they’ve taken all of the opium!’

‘But Mr. Holmes, there was a large amount of op-‘

‘Mr. Watson,’ Holmes interrupted, poorly hiding the large brick of opium under his coat ‘You shut your loving Limey mouth or I’ll beat you ‘round the head as if I were a famed Negroid pugilist!’

veiled boner fuel
Oct 21, 2015


Sherlock and the Cyber Negroes would be a killer band name.

Horrible Lurkbeast
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


LadyPictureShow posted:

‘Aha! Chopsticks, clearly this is the work of an unscrupulous, buck-toothed Chinaman!’ Holmes proclaimed. ‘They’ve managed to escape, and they’ve taken all of the opium!’

‘But Mr. Holmes, there was a large amount of op-‘

‘Mr. Watson,’ Holmes interrupted, poorly hiding the large brick of opium under his coat ‘You shut your loving Limey mouth or I’ll beat you ‘round the head as if I were a famed Negroid pugilist!’

The thread just peaked

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014



Sherlock Holmes and the Irish Problem

Horrible Lurkbeast
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Mycroft engineering the great potato famine.

Jose Mengelez
Sep 11, 2001

THE BOI FROM BRAZIL


"inscrutable" he mused, staring deeply into the chinaman's eyes.

Horrible Lurkbeast
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Sherlock Holmes and the mystery of the civil rights movement.
"I can't make heads or tails of it, Dr. Watson"

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014



*pensively pulls on pipe*
“The Noble savage, dear Watson. A remarkable specimen.”

a mysterious cloak
Apr 5, 2003

Leave me alone, dad, I'm with my friends!


Mycroft Holmes posted:

Sherlock, go home; you're drunk.

Mycroft Holmes
Mar 26, 2010

To the Moon! For Queen and Country!


Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

Mycroft engineering the great potato famine.

A bit too early for my interference, I'm afraid.

Lacey
Jul 10, 2001



The Irishman's harridan is not implicated in the crime because of course she would be at home washing laundry and beating the 13 scrawny wretches she birthed in ten years.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008



*holds a kippah*

See Watson, the owner of this hat is intelligent but lacking in morals. He works in finance or deals precious metals. He is short and has a grotesque nose. He has either poisoned a well or murdered a child. The game is afoot.

Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

Mmmm, You smell like Lysol Wipes.


I thought the title was "...and also a gigantic bigfoot" so I was reading the thread all like "Um, why is bigfoot such a racist?"

Dr Cheeto
Mar 2, 2013


Wretched Harp

This is basically the plot of A Scandal in Bohemia fyi

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018



Thundercracker posted:

I mean, the first novel was basically "religion of peace lol" except it was the mormons at the time who were boood thirsty extremists.

at the time?

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018



Mycroft Holmes posted:

Sherlock, go home; you're drunk.

Damo
Nov 8, 2002

The second-generation Pontiac Sunbird, introduced by the automaker for the 1982 model year as the J2000, was built to be an inexpensive and fuel-efficient front-wheel-drive commuter car capable of seating five.

The Great Twist

the 6.9% solution

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COMRADES
Apr 3, 2017

MUST

CRUSH

CAPAATAALEISM



quote:

"You consider that to be important?" the inspector asked.
"Exceedingly so."
"Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?"
"To the curious incident of the Moor in the night-time."
"The Moor did nothing in the night-time."
"That was the curious incident," remarked Sherlock Holmes.

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