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i can do the gollum voice so well that most people who hear it ask me never to do it again i discovered that i'm now on the forums leaderboard for most gassed threads
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May 17, 2018 00:06
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My Smelliest Turd 2005 trophy
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May 17, 2018 00:07
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I can bounce a basketball so low you can't slip a piece of cardboard under it. I shouldn't be proud of that, but I *am* proud of my nickname with the ladies 'the human vibrator'
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May 17, 2018 00:08
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Every time I take a poo poo I am flooded with feelings of pride.
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May 17, 2018 00:08
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popewiles posted:My Smelliest Turd 2005 trophy but your account only dates back to 2006?
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May 17, 2018 00:08
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If this was an honest thread it would just be 40 pages of people posting about their penis.
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May 17, 2018 00:10
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I outran the police 5 or 6 times, once even on foot. I caught a DUI a few years back so i can't do that anymore. It's really easy to outrun the police btw.
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May 17, 2018 00:12
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when I went to jail I only had to suck 4 dicks to eat after two weeks
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May 17, 2018 00:12
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Fintilgin posted:If this was an honest thread it would just be 40 pages of people posting about their penis. we already had a thread like that
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May 17, 2018 00:13
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My dog died a year ago today and I haven't yet let myself slip into a psychosis so deep that I become president just so I can  . I'm pretty proud of that! I feel like that is a significant accomplishment!
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May 17, 2018 00:14
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ive got 300+ followers on twitter dot com bitch (8<
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May 17, 2018 00:17
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first user to register at skull mund dot com bitch (8<
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May 17, 2018 00:18
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only a couple inches away from mastering the powerful self suck technique bitch (8<
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May 17, 2018 00:18
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Nooner posted:only a couple inches away from mastering the powerful self suck technique bitch (8< and at least another 300 followers on twitter nice job man
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May 17, 2018 00:20
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Fluffy Bunnies posted:My dog died a year ago today and I haven't yet let myself slip into a psychosis so deep that I become president just so I can oh man... my dogs been my best friend since sixth grade... he's soo loving old now. Just took him to his monthly check up. He's not going blind, his heart sounds good. Vet basically told us he's showing no signs of slowing down. i am going to loving lose it when he finally decides to slow down on me. having something you love slowly start to slip and fall from right under your nose is the worst thing ever. gonna have to take a day off from everything when i notice his little knees start to buckle when he tries to get up.
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May 17, 2018 00:21
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i manned up and saw that hooker. she taught me how to smoke crack and how to love
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May 17, 2018 00:21
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i outlived all my friends from heroin addiction
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May 17, 2018 00:22
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Most white noise poster
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May 17, 2018 00:22
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I am an expert in TI-BASIC programming language. 
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May 17, 2018 00:22
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Got a real tight b hole
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May 17, 2018 00:23
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our complex closed the laundry room while i was in the middle of drying my bed stuff and i was drunk so i just slammed through it and blew out the whole door frame i felt like a swat guy
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May 17, 2018 00:23
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I can jerk off six times a day no problem
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May 17, 2018 00:24
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when my turd is so huge it clogs the shitter
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May 17, 2018 00:24
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I had sex with three different women in one day and i didn't shower the whole day
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May 17, 2018 00:24
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i had sex
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May 17, 2018 00:25
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BONE DOG posted:I had sex with three different women in one day and i didn't shower the whole day i bet you had stiff itchy pubes that day bud good job
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May 17, 2018 00:25
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My smartwatch which among other things count steps, informs me that I masturbated for about 4000 steps worth yesterday
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May 17, 2018 00:25
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I sent a goatse link to the white house voter fraud commission and the email was published unredacted as part of their "public comment" bits
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May 17, 2018 00:26
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Lauroon Kyanka posted:oh man... my dogs been my best friend since sixth grade... he's soo loving old now. Just took him to his monthly check up. He's not going blind, his heart sounds good. Vet basically told us he's showing no signs of slowing down. i am going to loving lose it when he finally decides to slow down on me. having something you love slowly start to slip and fall from right under your nose is the worst thing ever. gonna have to take a day off from everything when i notice his little knees start to buckle when he tries to get up. I walked in, saw him on the floor and he never got up. He'd had a mcnugget the night before. 9 days before his 12th birthday, my big dane lad died while I stroked his head. Which is a lot better than the many other ways I'd worried about him going before (shipping dogs via plane is terrifying). But a year later I'm still fairly unwell about it. It's rough. My childhood good girl died 7 years ago this year on my birthday. I still choke up when I think about it. I'm glad your lad hasn't left you yet. I hope he never does.
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May 17, 2018 00:27
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World War Mammories posted:I sent a goatse link to the white house voter fraud commission and the email was published unredacted as part of their "public comment" bits that was you? gj
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May 17, 2018 00:27
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Fluffy Bunnies posted:I walked in, saw him on the floor and he never got up. He'd had a mcnugget the night before. 9 days before his 12th birthday, my big dane lad died while I stroked his head. Which is a lot better than the many other ways I'd worried about him going before (shipping dogs via plane is terrifying). But a year later I'm still fairly unwell about it. What the gently caress you’re not allowed to make me cry in GBS.
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May 17, 2018 00:28
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Fluffy Bunnies posted:I walked in, saw him on the floor and he never got up. He'd had a mcnugget the night before. 9 days before his 12th birthday, my big dane lad died while I stroked his head. Which is a lot better than the many other ways I'd worried about him going before (shipping dogs via plane is terrifying). But a year later I'm still fairly unwell about it. : ( sending you love friend
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May 17, 2018 00:29
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I've lost 40 pounds over the past six months despite being a boarder line alcoholic.
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May 17, 2018 00:29
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not me personally because i'm above all this nonsense  but basically taking pride in any aspect of your identity you didn't willfully choose for yourself is some dumb poo poo and it's a huge problem in contemporary society!!!!!!!!!!
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May 17, 2018 00:29
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my dog is a good boy
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May 17, 2018 00:31
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Prude posted:not me personally because i'm above all this nonsense take it to my thread about conservatives, buddy
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May 17, 2018 00:32
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my very big nuts/balls
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May 17, 2018 00:37
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Koyaanisgoatse posted:i can do the gollum voice so well that most people who hear it ask me never to do it again Same but the Predator clicking, actually.
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May 17, 2018 00:41
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Koyaanisgoatse posted:take it to my thread about conservatives, buddy this is a matter of pride, not politics, bub
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May 17, 2018 00:41
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Prude posted:not me personally because i'm above all this nonsense I’m proud of teabagging u
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May 17, 2018 00:42
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