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Koyaanisgoatse
Apr 23, 2014



i can do the gollum voice so well that most people who hear it ask me never to do it again

i discovered that i'm now on the forums leaderboard for most gassed threads

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popewiles
Jan 8, 2006

Just chillin' in the sink

My Smelliest Turd 2005 trophy

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002



I can bounce a basketball so low you can't slip a piece of cardboard under it. I shouldn't be proud of that, but I *am* proud of my nickname with the ladies 'the human vibrator'

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004

Thank You,
Thank You,
Thank You GOD!


Every time I take a poo poo I am flooded with feelings of pride.

Koyaanisgoatse
Apr 23, 2014



popewiles posted:

My Smelliest Turd 2005 trophy

but your account only dates back to 2006?

Fintilgin
Sep 29, 2004

Fintilgin sweeps!

If this was an honest thread it would just be 40 pages of people posting about their penis.

karma_coma
Apr 18, 2003

Bud Light Mola Ram

Clapping Larry

I outran the police 5 or 6 times, once even on foot. I caught a DUI a few years back so i can't do that anymore.

It's really easy to outrun the police btw.

Swedish Butt-Whistle
Feb 12, 2004

Mentally Trill


when I went to jail I only had to suck 4 dicks to eat after two weeks

Koyaanisgoatse
Apr 23, 2014



Fintilgin posted:

If this was an honest thread it would just be 40 pages of people posting about their penis.

we already had a thread like that

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 9, 2009

I LIEK AMINALS THEREFORE IM OVERQUALIFIED TO GIVE MY SNOTTY OPINIONS ABOUT ALL AMINAL-RELATED EVERYTHINGS EVERYWHERE i am the very model of a somethingawful shitposter



My dog died a year ago today and I haven't yet let myself slip into a psychosis so deep that I become president just so I can . I'm pretty proud of that! I feel like that is a significant accomplishment!

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 5 hours!


ive got 300+ followers on twitter dot com bitch (8<

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 5 hours!


first user to register at skull mund dot com bitch (8<

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 5 hours!


only a couple inches away from mastering the powerful self suck technique bitch (8<

MOOBS!
Dec 10, 2013



Nooner posted:

only a couple inches away from mastering the powerful self suck technique bitch (8<

and at least another 300 followers on twitter nice job man

Lauroon Kyanka
Sep 17, 2017

*trips on a ladybug*

*dies of old age*


Fluffy Bunnies posted:

My dog died a year ago today and I haven't yet let myself slip into a psychosis so deep that I become president just so I can . I'm pretty proud of that! I feel like that is a significant accomplishment!

oh man... my dogs been my best friend since sixth grade... he's soo loving old now. Just took him to his monthly check up. He's not going blind, his heart sounds good. Vet basically told us he's showing no signs of slowing down. i am going to loving lose it when he finally decides to slow down on me. having something you love slowly start to slip and fall from right under your nose is the worst thing ever. gonna have to take a day off from everything when i notice his little knees start to buckle when he tries to get up.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

i manned up and saw that hooker. she taught me how to smoke crack and how to love

Swedish Butt-Whistle
Feb 12, 2004

Mentally Trill


i outlived all my friends from heroin addiction

Jon Joe
Oct 19, 2011

HELP! I'VE FAILED AND I CAN'T SUBMIT


Grimey Drawer

Most white noise poster

Pawn 17
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





Grimey Drawer

I am an expert in TI-BASIC programming language.

WatermelonGun
May 7, 2009




Got a real tight b hole

MOOBS!
Dec 10, 2013



our complex closed the laundry room while i was in the middle of drying my bed stuff and i was drunk so i just slammed through it and blew out the whole door frame
i felt like a swat guy

Malcolm Turnbeug
Mar 21, 2018



I can jerk off six times a day no problem

jimmyjams
Jan 10, 2001


when my turd is so huge it clogs the shitter

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009



I had sex with three different women in one day and i didn't shower the whole day

Swedish Butt-Whistle
Feb 12, 2004

Mentally Trill


i had sex

MOOBS!
Dec 10, 2013



BONE DOG posted:

I had sex with three different women in one day and i didn't shower the whole day

i bet you had stiff itchy pubes that day bud good job

Enemy Ace
Mar 14, 2006
"We stain the sky. We fight a war in heaven."

My smartwatch which among other things count steps, informs me that I masturbated for about 4000 steps worth yesterday

World War Mammories
Aug 25, 2006

Silent Majority
DESTROYER OF WORLDS



I sent a goatse link to the white house voter fraud commission and the email was published unredacted as part of their "public comment" bits

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 9, 2009

I LIEK AMINALS THEREFORE IM OVERQUALIFIED TO GIVE MY SNOTTY OPINIONS ABOUT ALL AMINAL-RELATED EVERYTHINGS EVERYWHERE i am the very model of a somethingawful shitposter



Lauroon Kyanka posted:

oh man... my dogs been my best friend since sixth grade... he's soo loving old now. Just took him to his monthly check up. He's not going blind, his heart sounds good. Vet basically told us he's showing no signs of slowing down. i am going to loving lose it when he finally decides to slow down on me. having something you love slowly start to slip and fall from right under your nose is the worst thing ever. gonna have to take a day off from everything when i notice his little knees start to buckle when he tries to get up.

I walked in, saw him on the floor and he never got up. He'd had a mcnugget the night before. 9 days before his 12th birthday, my big dane lad died while I stroked his head. Which is a lot better than the many other ways I'd worried about him going before (shipping dogs via plane is terrifying). But a year later I'm still fairly unwell about it.

It's rough. My childhood good girl died 7 years ago this year on my birthday. I still choke up when I think about it.

I'm glad your lad hasn't left you yet. I hope he never does.

Koyaanisgoatse
Apr 23, 2014



World War Mammories posted:

I sent a goatse link to the white house voter fraud commission and the email was published unredacted as part of their "public comment" bits

that was you? gj

Jon Joe
Oct 19, 2011

HELP! I'VE FAILED AND I CAN'T SUBMIT


Grimey Drawer

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

I walked in, saw him on the floor and he never got up. He'd had a mcnugget the night before. 9 days before his 12th birthday, my big dane lad died while I stroked his head. Which is a lot better than the many other ways I'd worried about him going before (shipping dogs via plane is terrifying). But a year later I'm still fairly unwell about it.

It's rough. My childhood good girl died 7 years ago this year on my birthday. I still choke up when I think about it.

I'm glad your lad hasn't left you yet. I hope he never does.

What the gently caress youíre not allowed to make me cry in GBS.

MOOBS!
Dec 10, 2013



Fluffy Bunnies posted:

I walked in, saw him on the floor and he never got up. He'd had a mcnugget the night before. 9 days before his 12th birthday, my big dane lad died while I stroked his head. Which is a lot better than the many other ways I'd worried about him going before (shipping dogs via plane is terrifying). But a year later I'm still fairly unwell about it.

It's rough. My childhood good girl died 7 years ago this year on my birthday. I still choke up when I think about it.

I'm glad your lad hasn't left you yet. I hope he never does.

: ( sending you love friend

morally adept
May 10, 2017

See all I know is ball, and good, and rape.

I've lost 40 pounds over the past six months despite being a boarder line alcoholic.

Prude
Nov 28, 2010

Silent Majority
COMMS DIRECTOR


not me personally because i'm above all this nonsense but basically taking pride in any aspect of your identity you didn't willfully choose for yourself is some dumb poo poo and it's a huge problem in contemporary society!!!!!!!!!!

Away all Goats
Jul 5, 2005

Have you seen my glasses


my dog is a good boy

Koyaanisgoatse
Apr 23, 2014



Prude posted:

not me personally because i'm above all this nonsense but basically taking pride in any aspect of your identity you didn't willfully choose for yourself is some dumb poo poo and it's a huge problem in contemporary society!!!!!!!!!!

take it to my thread about conservatives, buddy

Doctor Dogballs
Apr 1, 2007


my very big nuts/balls

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!

Koyaanisgoatse posted:

i can do the gollum voice so well that most people who hear it ask me never to do it again

Same but the Predator clicking, actually.

Prude
Nov 28, 2010

Silent Majority
COMMS DIRECTOR


Koyaanisgoatse posted:

take it to my thread about conservatives, buddy

this is a matter of pride, not politics, bub

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let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000



Dinosaur Gum

Prude posted:

not me personally because i'm above all this nonsense but basically taking pride in any aspect of your identity you didn't willfully choose for yourself is some dumb poo poo and it's a huge problem in contemporary society!!!!!!!!!!

Iím proud of teabagging u

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