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Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless

A mysterious overnight voicemail from an unknown number that's only a desperate cry of "PLEEEEAAASE" before getting cut off.

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Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless

a heart beat on a stethoscope put through auto tune.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless

An audio recording of Koko the gorilla crying when she was told her cat died.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless

Morgan Freeman narrating his own life.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Sham bam bamina!

ƨtupid cat

*farts, loudly*

ghost emoji

oooOooOOOooh

when your office chair squeaks against your leg and sounds like a fart

reprise: when you try to recreate the squeak a few times so they know it was the chair and not a fart

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
The contents of this shitpost and any attachments are intended solely for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged information and may be legally protected from disclosure. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended recipient of this shitpost, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the shitpost and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this shitpost or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.

TVsVeryOwn




Pens clicking and office chairs squeaking.

Edit: shoot. Somebody already said squeaky office chair.

Kthulhu5000

Coulda, woulda, shoulda
bought
a
TurboGrafx-16

The "almost there" catching of the engine in a neighbor's 1995 Buick Century at 6 AM as they repeatedly try to turn it over, followed by ten minutes of idling and the squeal of engine belts or failing ball joints as they pull out of the parking lot.

Sham bam bamina!

ƨtupid cat

Sham bam bamina!

ƨtupid cat

Manifisto



Sham bam bamina! posted:

*farts, loudly*

not the fart itself, but the silence after a fart in a crowded room, on infinite loop

it's so quiet it probably acts like a noise cancellation device


thanks to Splatmaster and vanisher for the sigs!

Macnult


ghost emoji posted:

when your office chair squeaks against your leg and sounds like a fart

reprise: when you try to recreate the squeak a few times so they know it was the chair and not a fart


thank you city of glompton for the sig

Sham bam bamina!

ƨtupid cat

a possessed cd that's technically blank but fills your mind with the keening of the damned when you play it

Kthulhu5000

Coulda, woulda, shoulda
bought
a
TurboGrafx-16

A snooty middle-aged French man, ranting in loud French for five hours about how Mickey Mouse is American mental and cultural colonization, an obsessive distraction of the masses from all other concerns.

Fortunately, he says at the end, he is obviously not one of those obsessed masses.

Mac Tonight

aw yeah tahts it man

Dads Dip Cup


an audiobook reading of "Ready Player One" where the reader gradually raises his voice to be heard over increasingly louder and more intense sex noises

SciFiDownBeat
HAIKOOLIGAN

Dads Dip Cup posted:

an audiobook reading of "Ready Player One" where the reader gradually raises his voice to be heard over increasingly louder and more intense sex noises

SciFiDownBeat
HAIKOOLIGAN

A recording of a child describing the kinds of things they see in the speckled tiles of a bathroom floor while beach waves gently crash far off in the distance

Jolo

ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it
My cassette tape of M.C. Hammer's "Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Em" where I had recorded over portions of "Can't Touch This" by replacing the word "this" with me saying "my butt."

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ghost emoji

oooOooOOOooh

Jolo posted:

My cassette tape of M.C. Hammer's "Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Em" where I had recorded over portions of "Can't Touch This" by replacing the word "this" with me saying "my butt."

you know what? better song

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
The contents of this shitpost and any attachments are intended solely for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged information and may be legally protected from disclosure. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended recipient of this shitpost, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the shitpost and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this shitpost or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.

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