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-Bought 120 avocadoes -Peeled and pitted all avocadoes -Whipped avocadoes into a thick paste -Applied said paste as stucco on all the ceilings |
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May 31, 2018 00:18
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-Called up an Uber -Requested trip to local Wal-Mart -Bought 65 helium filled balloons -Hired another Uber driver to deliver all 65 helium filled balloons to the multiplex theater at the mall -Somehow was allowed to carry in and then released all 65 balloons during the middle of the showing of Infinity Wars https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 31, 2018 00:20
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-Remembered last night
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May 31, 2018 00:20
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- bought all 5 seasons of big love on blu ray from amazon.. tWeNtY tWo TiMeS - glued all 5 seasons of big love on blu ray into a crude chair-like structure - sat in the big love chair for 2 hours listening to an endless loop of brian cranston reciting ozymandias and pretending to be the polygamist ruler of bill paxtonia
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May 31, 2018 04:50
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- woke up on a zipline - learned Esperanto - broke world record for longest pee - finished an entire tube of chapstick - not sure why but you venmoed someone named @BigDave $73 and the description only says "🎣🎳💣📎" - bought a nice hat CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
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Jun 1, 2018 21:51
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you wake up and discover that you've polished all the silver, and called your mother. it was a nice conversation. |
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Jun 1, 2018 23:16
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The good news: You wake up and there's a message for you on your answering machine! The bad news: It's you calling yourself last night after taking Ambien needing bail money to get out of jail... and you don't know how you made out; are you a fugitive from justice? Did you make your bail? You'll find out soon enough! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jun 1, 2018 23:38
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-bought a case of expired spicy brown mustard from Amazon Warehouse Deals* -drove to nearest Walmart Neighborhood Market, purchased Oreo cheesecake dip, drove home, constructed CheezIt sandwiches with dip, left on balcony in case birds were hungry* -left note for self about bird snacks* -entered contest to win bass boat, only realized six weeks later when they called to let me know I had won bass boat (do not fish)* *things I've actually done while under influence of Ambien
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Jun 2, 2018 00:07
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-I've never taken Ambien -Or HAVE I? https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jun 2, 2018 00:16
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hamjobs posted:-bought a case of expired spicy brown mustard from Amazon Warehouse Deals* You're a wonder and a delight, Hamjobs!
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Jun 2, 2018 01:31
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* found a proof for fermat's last theorem that fit in the margin * used marginalia as rolling papers
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Jun 2, 2018 01:52
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Robot Made of Meat posted:You're a wonder and a delight, Hamjobs! also an insomniac
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Jun 2, 2018 02:24
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hamjobs posted:-bought a case of expired spicy brown mustard from Amazon Warehouse Deals* I thought this was another fictional list and was waiting for all the items to collide into some epic punchline Unless you're the Yellow Birdking of Spaulding Lake I keep hearing about |
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Jun 2, 2018 03:26
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google THIS posted:I thought this was another fictional list and was waiting for all the items to collide into some epic punchline I'll never tell~
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Jun 2, 2018 03:35
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Splatmaster posted:-I've never taken Ambien
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Jun 2, 2018 10:38
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Splatmaster posted:-I've never taken Ambien lol ---------------- |
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Jun 2, 2018 16:23
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waking up in a fog only to realize youve sold all your bitcoin
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Jun 2, 2018 16:32
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waking up in a fog only to realize youve bought all of some guys bitcoin
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
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Jun 2, 2018 22:16
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| Why is everyone calling me Mr.President? | |
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Jun 2, 2018 22:33
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Joined the kkk and burned down my own home.
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Jun 2, 2018 23:58
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drilldo squirt posted:Joined the kkk and burned down my own home. Sir, this is the UNLIKELY Ambien Adventures thread. |
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Jun 3, 2018 00:16
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I gave them a what? you mean the appendix? srs that was just a laugh, they'll invent medicine soon enough and figure out how to remove it, no big thang. oh, ah, "free will" you say? hmm. hmmmmmm. poo poo. |
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Jun 3, 2018 00:26
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- drew warboys paint with eyeliner all over my face and sent endless selfies to bf at 1am* The solution to my insomnia was changing jobs lol |
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Jun 6, 2018 00:18
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didnt gently caress up the risotto |
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Jun 6, 2018 04:25
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I read this as “Unlikely Amphibian Adventures” and thought it was a new vanisher thread 
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Jun 6, 2018 20:49
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Passed my driving exam |
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Jun 6, 2018 21:39
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poverty goat posted:Passed my driving exam  hope you're gonna celebrate by driving somewhere nice I'm not saying you should drive somewhere to get us a pizza, but I'm also not not saying that |
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Jun 6, 2018 22:22
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Starman Super DX posted:I read this as “Unlikely Amphibian Adventures” and thought it was a new vanisher thread Paging Vanisher! Paging Vanisher!
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Jun 6, 2018 23:45
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 14:25 |
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true story here about the first time i took ambien. i took ambien and went to bed. i had a good night's rest and everything seemed normal. 3 days later, a big box arrives from amazon. this is weird because i don't remember ordering anything. i asked my wife, and she didn't order anything. we open it up and WOW THAT'S A LOT OF SPICY CHEX MIX. why the hell did we just receive 30 family-size bags of spicy chex mix? we couldn't think of any reason this would have been sent to us, but it has my name on the packing slip and everything so it isn't a mistake. so i logged into my order history and there it is... i thought hard about it and in a really hazy, almost 3rd person-like memory, i remember waking up and being really hungry. i guess chex mix sounded good because i logged onto amazon and ordered a box of 30 family sized bags of spicy chex mix. satisfied with the idea that my midnight snack would be arriving in 2 days (prime member, fuggedaboutit), i went back to sleep. for weeks, probably months, we brought bags to our workplaces, tried to give bags to anyone that visited our home (including mormon doorknockers). i did eat quite a lot of it myself, though... i would tell you that this burnt me out on spicy chex mix, but i still enjoy it every now and then. ----- |
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Jun 20, 2018 16:40
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