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meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

I've never been known for making good choices, so when I saw a craigslist post about a 2009 BMW 535Xi Touring with 155k miles for $6000, I had to jump on it. Especially seeing pictures showing that it was filthy and gently tapped a deer with the hood. What could go wrong?

Well, I contacted the owner and he said that the AC just went out, too. GREAT! EVEN BETTER! So I met up with him and immediately saw it even had some significant hail damage. I'm in. He also had the turbos replaced (by the dealer!!!??? at a very significant bill, he said $7k. I don't believe it, but I don't know how bad dealers have gotten).

I did some negotiating and gave him $4000 cash and he gave me the title and two keys.

The thing drives loving great. No stumbles, no hesitation, no lag... and for a big car, it moves. Before I took it home, I had dad drive it and he said it felt a lot like his E92 M3. Not as fast, but similar. I concur.

So. I got it home and got to work. The pictures I took didn't really show the level of profound filth in the interior, but I honestly don't know how people live in such literal dirt. It's not hard to dust and vacuum a car once a year or so.

It's a tough one to get pictures of, but here's one of the interior... it's so much worse than it looks, though:



And one terrible picture from the ad:



So on the list is to get it clean first, then start checking stuff mechanically. I plugged the low-side AC gauge in and gave it a half can of refrigerant and the compressor came back on, but I can't get the high side connected since there's a bulkhead blocking my connector. I'll have to pull that all off to get a full idea of where the AC is at.

It's also going to need all fluids changed, I'm assuming everything other than the engine oil and coolant is original (coolant I assume changed when they did the water pump and hoses).

So yeah, a meatpimp car thread for the first time in way too long. Enjoy.

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meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

Beverly Cleavage posted:

That interior though. Wow. It may not photo well, but it's obvious how dirty it is. Can't wait to see it cleaned up.

The interior is terrible... but then there's the motor...



bolind posted:

Are those Thule Aerobars and were they included?

Yeah, they were held on with strap feet, also Thule, I guess they're good? (Edit: I just looked them up, retails for $400 for the bars and feet... not bad. Maybe I'll get $200 out of them and be into the car for $3800.)

Started it this morning and had a good bit of smoke for the first couple minutes, PCV system check is on the list of things to do now.

meatpimp fucked around with this message at 12:56 on Jun 12, 2018

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

blindjoe posted:

Remember to clean the sunroof drains, mine would fill the trunk with water whenever it rained.

That's high on my list, especially since this is going to be an outside car. Good news is that it has been an outside car and the back area is dead dry.


Hughmoris posted:

You still have the Escalade?

Yup, hopefully it's an automotive cockroach.


LloydDobler posted:

You said in the general chat thread that it had some hail dents, are you going to try PDR or just have a shop do it?

Yup, going to be glue-tabbing them, at least.


New news: The codes it's throwing are P0597 and P0598. Pointing at the thermostat signal. My hope is that it's something fucky with the connector, because a) there's no reference to those codes being thrown on an N54 motor and b) it looks like the 535Xi is some unbelievable monster in packaging of the thermostat/water pump and I'll end up hating life if I get in there to replace it. Apparently it's an entirely different beast than the 535i because of the front drive stuff taking all the room. :suicide:

Update: Unplugged the thermostat and cleared the codes. Started up and drove a mile with no light, but as soon as I got on the main road, light and P0597 came back. Looks like it's the thermostat. Kill me. :bravo:

meatpimp fucked around with this message at 13:13 on Jun 13, 2018

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

Nidhg00670000 posted:

You're a gambling man, and you just lost.

Possibly, but it's such a good running car otherwise, I'm not selling it out. We'll see what the quotes for thermostat replacement come back as and go from there. I'm in to it at a low enough price that I've got options.

This is the first car repair I'm looking at farming out in 20+ years. I got close with my wife's old RAV4 with the V6 that was squeezed in so tight that the failing water pump looked like a similar nightmare to replace. I sold that one instead.


blindjoe posted:

Ha yep, mine shut down on the highway due to overheating. So I replaced the water pump and thermostat. And got a too cold code.
So I paid someone to change the thermostat because you have to take the waterpump out first to get at it.
The subframe for the 4wd gets in the way of doing it from the back like the youtubes show.

The waterpump was supposedly replaced, so hopefully it's just the thermostat. How much did the labor cost you for the job?

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

Fo3 posted:

I just found this post on bimmer
https://www.bimmerforums.com/forum/showthread.php?2150414-E61-water-pump-and-thermostat-DIY&highlight=thermostat

Maybe check and see if that bavauto video is still there?
https://www.bavauto.com/tech-info/
I haven't ever been able to pull tech or vid from their site (such a pain to search), but searching BMW forums and places that have sometimes given me a direct link to a particular bavauto page as always worked well. Otherwise pelican tech usually has some sort of write up with photos
And of course start browsing realoem.com for parts and very rudimentary diagrams

It's worth looking this up because in my quick research about e60/61, expect $1000-2000 if you farm it out. This was the era where BMW ownership was ridiculous "german engineering", and the cars being ugly anyway :v:

Thanks, that doesn't look that bad. I was reading this thread: http://www.bimmerfest.com/forums/showthread.php?t=856598 that says it's nightmare fuel. Most threads and comments are putting it at a 2-4 hour job for a pro, I'd gladly pay that. We'll see what the local shops come back with.



If only it were that easy. The RWD N54 cars have a lot more access. The x-drive fuckers are packed so tight as to be unreasonable.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

New post because enough of that sad bastard poo poo. You're here to see clean things.

My garage is an absolute mess. And BMW's paint has ridiculous levels of orange peel. My dad's E90 M3 is the same way. :barf:



And the interior is coming along, too. I need some leather touch-up for the edge of the armrest, but at least it's not covered in a layer of grunge.



It's getting better...

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

Fo3 posted:

What did you use on the paint with the front door because seriously most tips I've seen suggested 1500grit sanding, which is something I wouldn't want to do on a newer car even if it had a bad orange peel effect.
I did the 1000, 1500, 2000 grit sanding on my 2005 falcon ute because I was respraying it myself anyway, but I wouldn't do it on a car I wasn't already respraying.

I've found that Meguiars Ultimate Compound is amazingly versatile. It's gentle enough to use as a basic scrub with a soft pad and lower RPM, but I used it with a hard pad and high RPM to get some cutting and polish action. The other thing about UC is that as it breaks down, the grit value goes up, so you can start hard and finish soft in the same application.

After that I used a coat of Chemical Guys Black Light and that really brought out the depth.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

doogle posted:

I have a replacement keyfob shell if the car doesn't have comfort access that you can have.

edit:


You would have to cut your old key to get to the internals, but this new one snaps together. I was going to replace the shell of my 135i key but ended up selling it before I got a chance to do it.

Man, that would have been perfect, since the PO's dog chewed one of my fobs... too bad I've got comfort access. :( Thanks, though!

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

InitialDave posted:

Thermostat or not, I think you got a bit of a bargain there. You going to turn the wick up on it at all?

Oh man... I hadn't looked at tuning options until just now. $400 gets 80lb-ft at the wheels and more than 140lb-ft in spots under the curve. :swoon: The ideal thing to do to a 150k mile motor!


blindjoe posted:

I think it was in the range of $400 cdn. But thats at an indy instead of the dealer.
At that point I was just happy that it was driving again and I didn't have to get in there.


That bavauto was the one I tried to follow and it isn't the same on the 4wd cars.

e: now that I think about it, it wasn't actually that bad, just took a long time. And when its the family car your wife uses to get to work, I couldn't take it apart for another weekend.
When I did the HVAC fan, it had been replaced already, so that took 2 weeks of evenings to get finished.

Ooo another thing that isn't a lot of fun is front wheel bearings. The 2wd version its a nice bolt on part. 4wd gets to remove a big snapring and press the bearings out. Which means you have to get the whole strut out. Ended up with 10 stitches in the thumb doing that when I slipped on a bolt.

Definitely sounds like you've been in, on and around these things. I haven't received any replies from my quote requests on the stat, what is there to look for with the HVAC fan?

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

Alarbus posted:

Yeah, bumping the power on the N54 is really easy. The N55 isn't bad, but the newer B58 basically requires a different exhaust to get more out of it.

The thing I'll say though, is check what brakes you have. My dad's 335 has stock brakes, and personally I hate them compared to the M Sport brakes on my 335. Part of it's familiarity, but going faster is going to need better stopping. Not sure if they put different brakes on the 5s compared to the 3s.

https://www.bmwvin.com/ should let you see what options it shipped with.

Brakes seem fine, but unremarkable. I looked up the options before I got it, nothing spectacular... no nav, just Premium, Cold Weather and Comfort Access packages.



Thanks for the link. I'll be doing some digging there. I've been watching the AC and I don't think there's anything wrong with the AC system, but something's fucky with the blend doors. I get a mix of hot and cold out of the center vents, so something's stuck somewhere.

On that note -- my OBDII reader doesn't work with Deep OBD, so I need to get a new one. Once I get that working, it should let me troubleshoot with the INPA stuff.

Edit -- :siren: AC is fine. Someone hosed around with the vent settings and had the driver's side all the way hot in the settings, that's why I was feeling the hot/cold mix. I reset it to zero-offset and it's blowing nice and cold. :coal:

meatpimp fucked around with this message at 16:36 on Jun 14, 2018

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

I now know too much about modern thermostats with integrated heaters. This car, and others, have a heater in the thermostat to trick the stat into thinking the coolant is hotter than it is, in effect making the coolant cooler. This is for high-load conditions to increase the viscosity of the oil.

https://www.mahle-aftermarket.com/media/local-media-north-america/pdfs/catalogs-and-literature/mo-2-1013.pdf

This looks like the thermostat failure I'm seeing. The stat is working, but the heater is dead. No major issue, just a check engine light until I get around to changing it. I'll double-check next time I have the car in the air, if the terminals show the circuit to be open, then that'll tell me for sure.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

IOwnCalculus posted:

That thermostat seems like it could fail dangerous if the coil fails, since it won't open as quickly as expected.

The heater helps to vary the temperature from like 105* to 95*, I'm not really concerned, since it is only in play when you're hammering it, and I only do that for short bursts. It won't come in to play for my use. On that note, I got a quote from a local shop for $520, including the thermostat, so that's worst-case. Ultimately, I'll probably do it myself somewhere down the road.

In other news, I am waiting on some pure methanol to be delivered today. Hopefully that'll take out the haze that's on the inside of the headlights. And on the light front, I took out the fog lights and wet sanded then polished them today. I think there was a bit of difference.

Before:



After:

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

IOwnCalculus posted:

Does not compute

A quick 20-70 run isn't going change the oil viscosity through the heater making the thermostat open a bit more. If I was tracking it or sustained and repeated pulls there may be a difference, but that's not what this car will see. Am I making sense?


Bajaha posted:

Huh, I didn't know about using methanol inside the lights to clean the lenses.

Curious to see your results and method, reading online it seems like it'll either work great or you'll be buying new headlamps if you ham fist it. If it's low risk I'd like to try it but I think I'd practice on a few beaters headlamps before attempting on something where replacement lamps are expensive

Xenon adaptive headlight unit... couldn't be more than what... $700 used? :laugh:

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

blindjoe posted:

I wanted to replace mine as they were yellow, then figured out they wanted $1500ea. Looks like you can get them for $900 each now.

All the halos and stuff are expensive, and annoying when the car dings at you every time you start it and the halo light is out. Plus as it was an 05, the halos are some yellow weird light that you can't easily replace with LED.

Ended up polishing them, and putting the xpel covers on them. I recommend those, as you don't want a rock to chip your expensive lights. Plus additional UV protection makes it worth the $70 from pelican.

Methanol didn't touch it. It WAS on the outside, even after a 1500/2000 wet sand. So I went with a more aggressive 1500/2000/Meguiars plastic cleaner / Meguiars plastic polish and that worked. There's still some stuff on the inside, but I'm leaving that. Overall, it looks great. I'll get covers for it and call it good.

I also just got back from selling the Thule roof stuff. Got $250 for it after just listing it yesterday. That brings total car price to $3750. :whatup:

Ordered a cheap set of Kuhmos for it. I've had really good luck with Kuhmos.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

TheNothingNew posted:

I figure you're the person to ask: how to get pet hair out of cloth car felt? Like that stuff they line trunks with. Wagon's covered with dog hair and I'd like it to be less so.

No easy way with that. Make sure you have a STRONG vacuum with a brush attachment. Keep going over the area slowly in a circular pattern so you cover every area from all directions.

In BMW news, there's good an bad.

The good is that the PO said he had some suspension work done. When I got under it, I saw 2015 date codes on the control arms. That explains why the fucker is so smooth. The end links have a little play, but that's the easiest of the easy. Also, every date code on every part I've checked shows to be original, everything made in late 2008. I thought the front had been repainted, since my paint thickness gauge showed 6-7mil thickness on the front and 2-3mil everywhere else. As I look more, I think it's more of the way the thickness gauge reads on different materials. I think the front fenders of this are plastic and the hood aluminum... I have no idea for sure, but there's no indication of any respray even after disassembling the lights and grille.

The bad is that I took off the oil filter cap and was met with the cartridge filter staying in place, with the center of the cap broken off inside. From the looks of the deformed pleats, the oil filter was clogged HARD and if I had to guess, the last time it got changed the mechanic noped out of there and left it all in place.



Anyway, that required a trip to the BMW dealer today for a $50 oil filter cap (new cap on the left).

Just waiting on USPS for an Amazon delivery of oil filter, air filter and cabin air filters and I'll be checking to see how this thing likes a sump full of nice, clean synthetic oil (I bet it really likes it).

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

iwentdoodie posted:

Going to do a flush with anything to get poo poo out that's inevitably stuck in there, or just run fresh oil and hope for the best?

Also, had something similar happen on our old CX7. Wife always took it to a shop for changes, and I finally did it myself when I had time. Get under, see the center Allen key looking part of the cartridge housing (which isn't used to remove it) mangled beyond belief. Get it unscrewed by using the right tool, and the filter came out in pieces. Probably been in at least 4 changes.

I was so goddamn pissed.

Thankfully, I'm going into this expecting PO fuckery, but yeah, not happy.

From the looks of the filter, nothing penetrated, so I think I'm okay. I've let the oil drain all day and just buttoned it up, so I'll drive it for a thousand or 1500 miles and change it again and go from there.

Edit: Holy poo poo did an air filter and fresh oil make a difference.

meatpimp fucked around with this message at 22:40 on Jun 16, 2018

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

I suck at pictures and keeping up with my threads.

However, I've got a set of tires arriving today, so I'll get them put on tomorrow. In preparation, I've got the car up and the wheels off, getting the tape weights and 9 years of crap off of the insides of the wheels.

When I put it up, I was shocked to find out how damned STIFF this thing is. In this picture I've got the front end supported on jack stands and the passenger rear jacked up with a floor jack. The DRIVER side rear is up in the air almost as high as the passenger side rear. Hard to tell from the picture, but all 4 wheels are off the ground here...



Also, I did a multi-step sand and polish with the headlights like I did the fog lights. I don't have a before picture, but they were almost as bad as the before fog light pic above.

I got a good, clear polish out of them, but they started clouding up a day later. I bought a Sylvania headlight coating kit: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01KIVYE6G and it looks to have worked great. We'll see as time goes on.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

bolind posted:

Yeah, my E87 (shorter wheelbase, I realize, but still) you can jack up one jacking point and the car will basically lift that side. I'm not proud but I have done a wheel change that way.

It's okay, this is a safe space for unsafe work. I do the same thing. My wife's Juke and brother's GTI both hike the rear wheel when jacking the front up same-side. I do rotations and wheel changes like that, too. This is the first time I've seen it across the car though, especially with one this long.

Got the Kuhmos mounted and balanced yesterday, so it's new tire day today.

Shopping for transmission fluid change stuff and spark plugs, since I don't know when these were changed last.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

blindjoe posted:

When you do the transmission fluid, make sure you check the electronic sleeve (if your car has it? mine did). Its a plastic thing that keeps the fluid out of the electronics, and can get old and leak.

Can be found as a mechatronics sleeve? https://5series.net/forums/diy-do-yourself-14/diy-mechatronics-sleeve-transmission-leak-96033/

I had to have it done when we bought the car, but haven't touched it since so I don't remember all the details.

Maybe you don't need to if its not leaking, but probably doesn't hurt to check while you are under there.

Thanks for that. I'll definitely get the sleeve to have on hand and evaluate whether or not to change it once I open it up.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

In other car news -- I have not washed the Escalade since March. It still looks clean. It's out in the rain right now and the rain is just falling off of it. I was driving in the rain today and every time I stopped, a wave of water came down from the roof, since it's just pooling and not sticking.

I'm an absolute believer in the cheap Chinese ceramic coatings. I've never seen anything make water bead and fall off like this stuff does. Yes, it takes two coats instead of the high-dollar stuff's one coat (it's probably more dilute), but drat... so worth it.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

Applebees Appetizer posted:

What is this ceramic coating you speak of?
https://m.aliexpress.com/item/32862286377.html?pid=808_0000_0101&spm=a2g0n.search-amp.list.32862286377&

Stupid cheap, stupid good.

It IS a coating, though, so proper preparation and application is critical.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

Fo3 posted:

I'm interested. What is the proper prep? Searching just gave me engrish.
Can you use it on something you have just compounded and polished? Or is it strip everything back with fairy/dawn dishwashing liquid first?

Compound/polish, then wipe down with isopropyl alcohol, then apply in a small area at a time. ~5 min to dry, then buff off.

And to show I'm not exaggerating, here's the car as it sits right now. Hasn't been washed since March. Has been driven ~1000 miles. Rained 2" in the last 2 days and I was driving through a lot of it.

The sides are dry, the top surfaces have water beads that run off as soon as I hit ~40mph.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

Applebees Appetizer posted:

That all seems kinda redundant, whats the point of compound/polish if you're gonna wipe everything down with alcohol? Is that just if the paint is in crappy condition?

The compound and polish is to correct the paint (after clay, which was assumed). None of those products have any protective value, they are for polishing, the alcohol wipes down to give the polished surface the best adherence properties for the ceramic coating.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

Applebees Appetizer posted:

Yeah I know it's not protective, what i mean is how do you know if the paint needs to be "corrected" or not? If the paint looks fine to me, can't i just clay then wipe it down with alcohol?

Ayup.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

everdave posted:

Should I coat my new car? I love the color it’s a metallic.

I just clayed/polished/ceramic'd my wife's Juke. It's a pearl white metallic. She is not a car person and is not particularly into cars. But she noticed the difference and she noticed that the metal flake was showing in the son and neither of us have every really noticed it before. So, yes.

On the BMW, it's a dark metallic and it's a half-shade darker than the uncoated part (I can see this directly, because I missed a spot near the roof rail. :D )

So yes, you should do it.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

I was changing the oil on the Juke today. I hadn't checked the air filter in a while and I found out I'm the PO. :barf:

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

In my experience, no turbo motor likes ANY restriction in the intake. Plus, it's just dirty. And that will not do.

On the BMW front, everything looks really good with it. But I'm assuming there's maintenance that hasn't been done. With that, I'm thinking about just putting it up on jack stands and taking some time to get everything up to par.

Why would that take time? Well, in its infinite wisdom, BMW made part 1 of changing the transfer case fluid "Drop the exhaust system." For the front differential, there's "Remove the subframe brace" which is a serious metal plate needing some impact work to remove. For the transfer case there's "Drop the driveshaft going from the transfer case to the front differential."

With all of that, I think it'll be better to just put it up in the air, take everything apart, do all of the fluids at once and be good to go after that. Maybe while I'm under there I'll clean the oil underneath and try to find where that's coming from.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

blindjoe posted:

Mine was leaking a ton of oil from the oil filter housing gasket. There is an seal at the oil cooler that gets brittle and leaks onto your alternator. Of course this is an N52 so don't know if its applicable.
From the wiki page, the N54 seems to have a simliar thing hanging off the oil filter, maybe check under that.

That's one of my first thoughts. From what I've seen there's something coming from up high, so either valve cover or that housing gasket. I'll dig into it when I take the top stuff off.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

Applebees Appetizer posted:

Jesus Christ, no wonder most people seem to avoid the awd models :v:

So what are your plans, are you going to keep it or flip it? Honestly if things turn out well with the BMW I'd rather have that and dump the Escalade if you don't absolutely need a third row.

Hopefully it ends up a good car, I'm not trusting it yet. I still need to get the AC system evacuated and recharged to see if it's just out of whack with the charge or if something else is at play. Even if I set gauges up to it, I know the PO messed with the charge, so I'd rather know there's spot-on the 700g charge that's supposed to be in there, then troubleshoot from there.

If all goes well, I'll keep all current cars. The reason for this one is that my son is turning 16 soon and he's getting the Avalon. That leaves the Escalade for family trips (my wife's family is 2 hours away and the extra space is a godsend with two kids. It's worth keeping the Escalade just for that. And then the BMW for daily. Even typing that sentence makes me cringe a bit... I know how needy BMWs are.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

Oh dear. I found this site http://mhdtuning.com/mhd-flasher-n54/ and got stuffs on order. It's only got 155k miles, what could possibly go wrong with adding another 60hp. :ohdear:

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

everdave posted:

Could I bother you with a question on a car I've got coming from Japan? I'm thinking front bumper needs a respray but I'd like an opinion.

Only if you put a turbo on it. :D

I saw the pics, probably will need a respray, but the pics aren't clear enough to see if it's paint transfer or rubbed off down to primer/base plastic.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

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everdave posted:

THere is a worse spot than what you saw so I guess respray

Let's see! The spot I saw (RF Bumper) is tough, because it's also a 2-color spray.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

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I am absolutely sold on cheap Chinese ceramic coating.

I washed the Escalade today, for the first time since March or April. It still looked clean and the water ran off of it. As I got to cleaning it, there was a dirt buildup that came right off and it was a quick dry. Ceramic coating worked great.

I then washed, clayed, polished and ceramic'd the Avalon. Man, $5 ceramic coating is the best thing for garbage cars. It filled a lot of the scratches and gave it a great shine. It looks presentable and it'll be a good benchmark for the coating's longevity since it stays outside. I only did one coat, but even that will probably be worlds better than what it was like before.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

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Rhyno posted:

Ceramic coating is indeed awesome, is that the stuff you linked before? Does one bottle really do an entire car?

Yes and yes. One bottle got me at least 2 coats, even on the huge rear end Escalade.

I ordered 6 more bottles just because it's so cheap, I want to make sure I have some on hand all the time.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

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I got the cable and threw the MHD State 1 tune on it and... good news and bad news.

Bad news first -- as soon as it starts to push, it falls on its face. Combustion misfires, cylinder 1. Unknown plug/coil history, so I just ordered a set of both. The holiday fucks me and Amazon won't have the parts here until late in the week, though. :(

The good news is that the code is quickly cleared and it tries again and... gently caress... this thing has a potential to be really fast. Feathering into the throttle in 2nd gear generates one hell of a lot more push than it did before, and that's not even being able to go full-throttle. If I can make this reliable, it'll be an absolute loving beast.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

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Minnesota Mixup posted:

Just hope that it isn't an injector. They have to have a matching index with the others which usually means replacing all 6 and having to have them coded as well.

Could be. I got lucky with the code for the thermostat heater clearing after I cleaned the contacts. I hope my luck streak continues.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

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angryrobots posted:

Fuel filter?

We'll see after plugs/coils. Both are known wear items, with the plugs being recommended at ~40k intervals. It was on my list to do anyway, since I don't have a full service history. With that, I'm assuming the plugs are old and probably gunked up (along with the intake ports). There were no issues before, but as soon as it sees parameters exceeding stock it falls on its face... that makes me think of the known maintenance things first. Stay tuned, we'll see when the plugs and coils show up!

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

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bolind posted:

I think it allows them to manufacture to looser tolerances and then just compensate in software, but yeah, means recoding. It is my understanding that one doesn't have to replace all of them at once, but it could be.

There are different revisions/numbers. If you are replacing like-for-like, you can do 1 and recode. I haven't looked deep enough to see what version is installed on mine yet. That'll tell me if they're original or if they've been changed.

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

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doogle posted:

I also have a full set of N54 injectors and a HPFP (used) that were replaced with newer revisions but didn't fix the problem (on my car it was the in tank fuel pump). You can have all that stuff for $50 to cover shipping if you want it.

I'll definitely take you up on that. Give me until next week so I can get it running?

Wait, what's that? Get it running?

Yes, I'm a cavalier dumb impatient monkey and I wanted to drive it without the missing from the tuned map with crap plugs/coils. So, I decided to back out the tune and it turbofucked the whole god damned car.

The MHD tune seems to work fine, all reports are fine, it shows that it's writing the DME and completes successfully. Unfortunately, all I get is a few seconds of cranking with no fire, or it does catch and bounces between 1200-1500rpm with no throttle response. And the whole dash is a christmas tree.

I replaced the battery with a brand new AGM monster and coded it with Carly. No change.

I checked every fuse, all fine. I have tried several different map writes, including re-reverting to stock. No change.

I'm loving tired, hot and annoyed. It seems like the bouncing idle is a throttle issue, but the conventional wisdom of holding the pedal down, etc. does nothing.

I've got ISTA-D / Rheingold downloaded, but gently caress, I didn't want this to turn into a deep dive.

meatpimp is sad.

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meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:


It's alright, I'm thinking it's probably a single point of failure. If I can get it to idle and respond to throttle, I'll be able to drive it and hopefully most of the codes will clear. I just need to get on top of a lot of the software that's available, but that I have no experience with... deep dive, baby, deep dive.

Playing with cars can be a dangerous game.

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