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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



____________________________

Raw Results
  • Raw opened with Raw's male and female participants in the two Money in the Bank ladder matches atop ladders in the middle of the ring. Kurt Angle and Constable Baron Corbin (now with shaved head) showed up, and Corbin warned Stephanie McMahon would be mad if they didn't win both briefcases at the PPV.
  • Arguments kicked off between everybody in the ring over who would win, with accusations made that Alexa was faking injury while Nattie insisted her own injuries were healed. Everybody talked up their Mixed Match Challenge partners chances at the PPV.
  • Alexa went backstage and then came back out with her entrance music for a Fatal Fourway with Ember Moon, Sasha Banks and Nattie.
  • The match - which was quite good - broke for a SECOND commercial break which was actually a full voiceover ad for MITB while the match continued in Picture-in-Picture mode. Shortly after they went to another commercial break.
  • Nattie submitted Alexa to win the Fatal Fourway. The match went a long time (20+ minutes) and was really good. They kept selling the idea that Nattie's leg injury had been aggravated.
  • Backstage, Kevin Owens tried to form an alliance with Finn with the idea that they and Bobby take out BRAUN tonight.
  • Ziggler and McIntyre defeated the Fashion Police in a tag match. They did a promo afterwards saying their early elimination in the Battle Royal was a fluke and the proof was Breezango being left laying.
  • Roman was interviewed backstage and said he was looking forward to beating up Jinder Mahal tonight.
  • Roman came out for his match but Jinder revealed the fight would be against another great Indian, the Great..... Sunil Singh! Roman very quickly defeated Singh but then got jumped from behind by Jinder and hit with the Khallas. Roman seemed to get a far more positive reaction than normal from the crowd.
  • The B-Team defeated Heath Slater and Rhyno. Heath Slater has an amazing new shirt that literally has the text "Rhyno Made This" inexpertly applied.
  • The Deleters of Worlds interupted on the Titantron clapping and laughing before teleporting to the entrance platform and did a neat promo about how the Woken and the Fireflies were always watching.
  • Elias managed to get through an entire musical performance, mocking Seth Rollins and his love of Crossfit. He showed off a new guitar with the IC Title painted onto it.
  • Elias cheesed it when Seth rushed the ring, and a furious Seth was yelling at him over the mic when he noticed the guitar (gifted by John Mayer!) had been left behind. He offered to sell it to the audience (Elias insisted he would bid), then threatened to curbstomp it. He had the crowd chant BURN IT DOWN! and then curbstomped the guitar, destroying it.
  • Owens approached Bobby Roode backstage to make a similar offer about teaming up against BRAUN
  • The Riott Squad were shown making a mess and cackling backstage.
  • They played ANOTHER Money in the Bank ad completely with loud overbearing music DURING the Bayley/Ruby Riott match, which was reduced to picture-in-picture.
  • Ruby defeated Bayley thanks to a distraction from the rest of the Riott Squad.
  • Coach introduced Ronda Rousey and Nia Jax to sit down in the ring on chairs for duelling promos. Somewhere in the world a wizened old fortune-teller died after seeing how terrible this segment would inevitably be.
  • The segment was bad but ended on a high note when Ronda got mad, Nia took a shot at her and they ended up on the ground where Ronda was able to lock in the armbar and Nia's superior strength wasn't enough to break free and she was forced to tap.
  • Curt Hawkins was shown backstage watching his next opponent No Way Jose's conga line.
  • Curt Hawkins lost to No Way Jose, stretching his losing streak to 0-201.
  • Finn Balor and Bobby Roode met backstage where they admitted neither trusted Owens but working together against BRAUN was a good idea but they should keep an eye on Owens too. Balor warned Roode he would keep an eye on him too.
  • Sami Zayn came out for the third in a series of utterly terrible segments featuring Bobby Lashley. He introduced an obstacle course so Lashley could "prove" his military background. Lashley came out and blasted through the course in less than a minute, only for Sami to jump Lashley right at the end and leave him laying. The crowd chanted,"USA!" at the end.
  • Backstage, Owens tried to direct Balor and Roode on how to take out BRAUN. BRAUN showed up and told them he had a great idea too, he thought the three of them should team up to fight him by himself!
  • The Fatal Fourway moved out of the ring and up the ramp, with BRAUN largely dominating until Owens, Balor and Roode managed to beat him down enough to put him onto the commentary table. Owens went up top of a ladder and hit a really nice looking Frogsplash from the top of the ladder onto BRAUN. No mention of him being scared of heights last week.
  • They interupted the match AGAIN for ANOTHER Money in the Bank commercial while the match was set to Picture-in-Picture mode.
  • Roode, Balor and Owens battled it out in the ring until BRAUN recovered from the table spot and headed back down to the ring, taking out Balor and Roode in the process in his desire to get hold of Owens. Owens cheesed it over the barricade but BRAUN chased and caught him and hauled him back to the ring.
  • BRAUN charged Balor but tripped on the way, which they did their best to downplay with Cole saying it was due to his injury after the table spot. He shouldercharged Balor, Roode and Owens and put the latter back in the ring.
  • Balor and Roode both looked to have BRAUN beaten but Roode prevented Balor getting the pin and Owens prevented Roode. Owens hit a frogsplash on BRAUN but he still kicked out. Owens grabbed a small ladder from under the ring and assaulted BRAUN with it till he blocked Owens and chokeslammed him.
  • BRAUN powerslammed Owens onto the ladder and pinned him to win the Fatal Fourway.
____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • Paige opened the show with Naomi, Lana, Charlotte and Becky in the ring to talk about the Women's MITB ladder match. It quickly broke down into an argument between the women about who was going to win.
  • The IIconics came out to mock everybody in the ring with amazingly terrible impersonations. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville joined them, so the MITB participants charged them and kicked off an 8-woman brawl. Paige announced during the break they would be in a 8-Woman tag later tonight.
  • Daniel Bryan defeated Shelton Benjamin by submission in a surprisingly underwhelming match. It was probably only notable for:


  • Paige bumped into Asuka backstage and declined her demand for a match with Carmella tonight, but offered to put both of them into the 8-Woman tag into a 10-woman tag.
  • Paige caught Miz dressed in a referee's outfit and he lied about prepping for a movie (about a referee... a dog... referee? Called Ruff Ruff Ref!), and asked to ref the Samoa Joe/Rusev match. She declined, then.... agreed?
  • Jerry "The King" Lawler interviewed AJ Styles in-ring, where he apologized for slapping Shinsuke Nakamura last week during the contract signing... apologized for not punching his head off!
  • Rusev vs Samoa Joe included yet another of those loving terrible in-match commercials for MITB, with the wrestlers reduced to a rest-hold in the picture-in-picture while they waited for it to finish.
  • Miz actually largely called the match down the middle until Joe accidentally ran into him while going after Aiden English. Miz refused to count a pinfall for Joe, and as he and Joe argued, Rusev was able to get the win. Rusev knocked Joe down with the ladder, but when he tried to climb it Miz hit him with the Skull Crushing Finale then climbed the ladder and grabbed the briefcase.
  • Miz opened the briefcase only to find it full of pancakes. Backstage, New Day were laughing, and Kofi and Xavier were wearing one shirt at the same time.
  • Jeff Hardy vs. Shinsuke Nakamura ended in a DQ win to Hardy after Shinsuke slipped out of the Twist of Fate and punched Jeff on the dick. He hit the Kinshasa and then did the 10 count spot.
  • Carmella was getting her make-up done and instagramming, and got interviewed by Renee who asked if she was concerned about being in the 10-Woman tag and potentially going against Asuka. Carmella responded that everybody, including Asuka, should be scared of her.
  • Big Cass kicked Renee out of an interview so he could do a promo about how Daniel Bryan is too short to ride on a rollercoaster.
  • Asuka tapped out Carmella to win the 10-Woman Tag main event. The match broke down into another giant brawl and Carmella frequently tried to take advantage but kept being stymied, until finally hitting a Superkick on Asuka only for Lana to break up the pin. Asuka got Carmella into the Asuka Lock and Carmella immediately submitted.
  • Asuka was left in the middle of the ring surrounded by the MITB participants. They looked at the belt as Asuka did this:


Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 03:02 on Jun 13, 2018

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

The men's ladder match should be good, not sure how well the women's MITB will work but hoping it will be good. Shinsuke/AJ will hopefully finally have a proper ending to a match.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

boar guy posted:

thought the opener with the women was very good

Definitely, just wish they hadn't done that stupid in-show advertising for MITB while it was happening (or any other match, for that matter).

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

IcePhoenix posted:

Can someone translate this to English for me

Sorry about that, it was too wordy initially so I rewrote it and obviously missed a couple of words. Wazzu got it right.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Honestly I'm surprised it got that many, considering E3 and the big political story of the day. It certainly didn't help the show hasn't exactly been on fire recently, of course.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

WWE PPVs are always a crapshoot, you can generally rely on MITB at least to have one match that is crazy and/or exciting and justify watching the show, a Chicago crowd is usually pretty on fire, and I'm still holding out hope that they FINALLY allow an AJ/Nakamura match to have a proper ending.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

WWE is so incredibly loving petty, Jesus Christ

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Smackdown results added to the OP. I want Asuka vs. Becky now more than ever.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Xerzes posted:

The recap of Smackdown didn't mention Bryan's really good promo, that I noticed. It was really good.

Unless I missed another promo, it was the one he delivered last week (but only on WWE.com) so I didn't bring it up. It's pretty galling to think they probably only bothered to show it because it generated a bit of buzz.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

piss tape israel posted:

If this company gave a poo poo 205 Live would air before SmackDown when the crowd is eager to get warmed up

It still utterly baffles me that this isn't the case, even more so than the fact 205 Live is supposed to be (it's largely been abandoned) a subsidary of the Raw brand but has always aired Tuesday nights directly after Smackdown.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Spikeguy posted:

This modern era is so bullshit too. Because that's such a nothing line. When did the modern era begin? When will it end? Is it not always the loving modern era? UGH WORDS MEAN THINGS!

Every time I hear it I think the same thing - in 20 years are they going to be talking about "the modern era" of two decades earlier? I guess it's kinda like when "The new Generation" was their thing and they almost never talk about that anymore for obvious reasons.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Yeah, AJ was pushed hard from the start. It's silly to say otherwise.

OldTennisCourt posted:

Yeah man they'll spend an enormous amount of money to acquire the best wrestler on Earth and have him get squashed by Big Show. As we all know WWE is run by reverse-vampire demons who survive on the tears of wrestling fans.

I only wish they were competent enough to be working in conjunction with the Rand Corporation :sigh:

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Benne posted:

Reminder that when AJ first came in WWE insisted on calling the 39-year-old, 15+ year veteran "the rookie redneck." They called him this multiple times a show, for weeks on end.

They absolutely did not intend to push him as a top guy until his house show reactions and merch sales forced their hand.

He got to debut in the Royal Rumble instead of on NXT, got immediately put into a feud with a top star in Jericho, transitioned from that into wrestling for the title in a feud with Roman Reigns, then had a feud with John Cena in which he only got beaten in a multi-man tag, then won the title from Dean Ambrose. All this in roughly 8-9 months from his debut, fighting nothing but top guys and being treated as a legitimate threat/star the entire time.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

boar guy posted:

just getting around to watching smackdown now... did lana totally drop her accent for a minute?

Yep, it was really noticeable and super weird.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

I haven't even seen it yet and based on the participants alone I'm gonna enthusiastically agree.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

I do think a lot of it also stems from the fact that in the past, he had to adapt and change or else he'd die. But he's won now. The wars are over, the competition are gone or owned by him or so tiny as to be inconsequential. Now he doesn't have to change his vision, which you can guarantee he ALWAYS thought was right in the past and he hated every second that he had to accept he was in the wrong and react accordingly. Now if people reject his hand-picked golden boy, he doesn't have to care, because his position is so secure now, the momentum of the juggernaut that is his company is so unstoppable, that he can happily just keep doubling down. Not only can he get away with it, he's rewarded for it with giant TV deals and huge influxes of cash. That is probably the most galling thing, because as far as he is concerned he probably feels he is proving that he was right all along, because the bottom line doesn't lie.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

DarkstarIV posted:



The best Tale of the Tape so far, in my opinion.

It legit amazes me that Sami has been in WWE twice as long as Bobby.

Teddybear posted:

Deadspin (via Bix) reporting based off of public court records that Amann was in a sexual relationship with Jillian Hall while he was her doctor.

https://deadspin.com/court-records-wwe-doctor-who-sued-cm-punk-had-sexual-r-1826818551

Oh my God this loving idiot :lol:

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Nipponophile posted:

It's unethical. <--- That's a declaration, not a question.

:agreed:

The trial was such an absolutely spectaculer own-goal that the Football World Cup covets.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

rovert posted:

Mods/elders are we doing WWE UK thread? WWE are posting matches on Youtube?

STONE COLD 64 posted:

i think a UK+Europe thread is a good idea since its gaining its own identity apart from american indies especially with how wwe's tentacles and the ITV deal are reshaping things.

Yes I think posting a WWE UK thread is a good idea. Since WWE is putting first round matches up on the Network/Youtube over the next week or so, it's free range to talk about them. Just keep in mind not everybody is gonna be able to watch everything all at once, so try to avoid blurting out all the results immediately if not necessary, give people a chance to actually see the matches first.

Edit: Somebody from the UK is probably best suited to making the thread, but anybody who feels they have sufficient knowledge could make one too.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Man, that 90 minute New Day/Elite video was literally just them sitting and playing video games and it was loving enthralling. WWE is squandering some amazing talent in The New Day, and what makes it worse is that they're probably one of the groups that actually gets some freedom to express themselves on a show.

Edit: Speaking of tag teams, it looks like The Bludgeon Brothers vs The Good Brothers has been shifted to the pre-show, and that The Deleters of Worlds vs The B Team isn't even mentioned in WWE's PPV rundown? :psyduck:

Edit Edit: Yep!

"WWE.com posted:

WWE Champion AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (Last Man Standing Match)
Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Raw Women’s Champion Nia Jax vs. Ronda Rousey
SmackDown Women’s Champion Carmella vs. Asuka
Roman Reigns vs. Jinder Mahal
SmackDown Tag Team Champions The Bludgeon Brothers vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson (Kickoff Match)
Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Zayn
Intercontinental Champion Seth Rollins vs. Elias
Daniel Bryan vs. Big Cass

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 08:29 on Jun 15, 2018

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

As others have mentioned in regards to The New Day, I believe Kofi has straight up said that if The New Day wasn't a thing, he'd just retire. Can't say I blame him too, he spent most of his career floundering and never really getting to deliver on his potential but still probably made a good amount of money. Then The New Day made them all into bigger stars and extremely heavy merchandise movers and he's (hopefully) made bank since then.

BrigadierSensible posted:

Actively squandering it no less. This is a reminder that creative are constantly trying to break New Day up and have them do the standard TagTeam101 thing. It truly bothers me that WWE and it's writers see people using their own creativity and charisma to get themselves over, and think to themselves "hey, I bet what would make this better if I interfered and tried to make it just like everything else"

That amazing first run of the Shield run was supposed to be broken up earlier multiple times too, from memory. The only reason it didn't is because all three made a concerted effort to be united and shoot down every attempt they could in favor of just delivering incredible match after incredible match in front of red-hot crowds.

It's weird, it's like they were stronger united than they were apart, almost like there was some strange strength and protection to be found in some form of.... union....?

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

shiksa posted:

how come no one ever told me about jamie noble? he's a little redneck with a high pitched voice who's constantly pissed off and loves watchin dudes gently caress his girlfriend.

what a fantastic character, really, bravo jamie noble.

Oh my God, Jamie Noble and Nidia were the absolute loving best. When he won the cruiserweight title and started "living it up" is some of the funniest stuff WWE ever did :allears:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QfIRffdFW0

Edit: Plus bonus Tajiri!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUnEbFCt4Fc

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 03:20 on Jun 16, 2018

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Looks like after leaving WWE she did a little bit of wrestling here and there, including for TNA, then got married and had a couple of kids and is working at being a chef now.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Blaise330 posted:

Ciampa vs Gargano III is going to have to be in Wakanda at the edge of a waterfall or something.

King Ciampa orders that all crutches be burned... but one (in camo) is saved!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Chris James 2 posted:

Ellsworth came out and surprised Asuka so much she stared at him for almost exactly a minute, to the point where really I can't understand how obtuse someone would have to be to think she couldn't have avoided the superkick seven times over. It was clean because she waited long enough for it to be clean

Just to be completely accurate:

- She stared at Fakesuka for almost exactly a minute
- Carmella tried to jump her
- Asuka saw it coming and laid Carmella out
- Asuka went back to staring at Fakesuka
- Fakesuka revealed himself to be Ellsworth
- Carmella superkicked Asuka and got the pin

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Psychepath posted:

The Hardys 24 is required viewing. The first half in particular is an honesty that WWE just doesn't do.

Yeah, it's amazing.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

One thing I loved about the Men's MITB was that Joe wasn't intimidated by BRAUN in the slightest and was ready to throw down with him at all points. Joe owns.

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


CarlCX posted:

don't do this dumb poo poo

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