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Basketball Star and Flat Earth Scientist Kyrie Irving to provide Flat Earth Proof to reporters today - Kyrie: I make my living on this flat basketball court. I live my life on a flat earth. There is no curvature. All is flat. That is why I have spent years of time and effort to convert the state of Kansas into one gigantic basketball court. We are now standing in the middle of the mega-court. If the world is curved, as they say, then when I set down this basketball it will begin to roll due to the "curvature of the earth." K: Please ensure that your cameras are rolling. I'm going to place the ball now. *Kyrie places the ball in the center of the court. The ball does not roll. It remains completely still. One of the dumber reporters gasps.* K: Well, there you have it. Clearly this court is flat and if we were to extend this court to encompass the entire world it would remain flat and the ball would not roll. Flat Earth Theory is now Flat Earth PROOF. *One reporter steps to the front* Reporter: But Kyrie, if the earth is flat... why do you gravitate so constantly towards this spherical basketball? *Kyrie stares off into the distance for a long time. He does not respond to the question.* *Kyrie walks to the center of the court and curls up around the basketball on the court floor* *Kyrie and the ball begin to roll* |
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Jun 12, 2018 15:44
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 02:07 |
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*opens a diet dr. pepper* hear that? you know what that means. by this time tomorrow, this soda will be flat. *gestures towards ocean* do you see any lid on that? do you see any screw cap? and the ocean has been this way for longer than a day, my friend. considerably longer. |
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Jun 12, 2018 15:49
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*jams a tire pressure gauge into the ground* *indicator doesn't budge* Need I say more? |
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Jun 12, 2018 15:59
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Jun 12, 2018 16:01
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Think about the invention of the wheel. It was round, wasn't it? Now what happens if a wheel spins against another wheel? They both spin like gears and don't go anywhere. So the earth has to be flat, otherwise wheels wouldn't work. |
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Jun 12, 2018 18:14
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krampster2 posted:Think about the invention of the wheel. It was round, wasn't it?
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Jun 12, 2018 18:18
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Me: Roundearthshillssaywhat. Scientist I'm debating: What? Me: Thought so. |
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Jun 12, 2018 18:37
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Dad Proof: The Earth is flat because I said so now shut the hell up about it! |
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Jun 12, 2018 19:19
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geologists have tried to hide the truth, but we know that the essential clue was discovered in 1908 in a mine in siberia: a ten-mile long allen key and a set of earth assembly instructions in swedish
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Jun 12, 2018 21:34
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Manifisto posted:geologists have tried to hide the truth, but we know that the essential clue was discovered in 1908 in a mine in siberia: a ten-mile long allen key and a set of earth assembly instructions in swedish yes!!! this goes on to prove my theory that god is a featureless blobperson who gets sad if you assemble things incorrectly, I approve of this flatpack earth proof Also I suspect the moon is an extra one of those little discs with the screwhead on them, it's just on the side we can't see. we had one left over but I'm pretty sure we didn't have another place we could use one, so I hope we don't need it
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Jun 12, 2018 21:37
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Manifisto posted:geologists have tried to hide the truth, but we know that the essential clue was discovered in 1908 in a mine in siberia: a ten-mile long allen key and a set of earth assembly instructions in swedish MockingQuantum posted:yes!!! this goes on to prove my theory that god is a featureless blobperson who gets sad if you assemble things incorrectly, I approve of this flatpack earth proof lol |
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Jun 12, 2018 22:06
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As you can clearly see, the Jenga pieces fall right off of this globe when I try to place them anywhere on it. If we can't stack a single jenga piece onto this small globe earth then how the hell would it be possible to build entire buildings on a much larger one? I rest my case. My case is right where I left it, by the way, because it did not slide around on some kind of wacky round earth.
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Jun 12, 2018 22:21
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the earth is flat because it does not arouse me. big rear end & titties, balls and shaft, round as hell and I want to gently caress them, like a DOG. earth? never gonna gently caress that.
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Jun 12, 2018 22:46
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the earth is flat because that's what I wrote in this book and we haven't invented erasers or white-out yet so really it's much more convenient to conform the facts to what's been written |
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Jun 12, 2018 23:02
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FutonForensic posted:the earth is flat because it does not arouse me. big rear end & titties, balls and shaft, round as hell and I want to gently caress them, like a DOG. earth? never gonna gently caress that. |
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Jun 12, 2018 23:13
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Jolo posted:Basketball Star and Flat Earth Scientist Kyrie Irving to provide Flat Earth Proof to reporters today -
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Jun 13, 2018 05:16
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*Man standing next to an exhibition of an elephant skeleton at a museum, yelling at the crowd* Hear me out people, I am on a mission from Glod to prove that the earth is flat! Observe the spine of the elephant here, notice that it is flat. Why is it so? Good question. The elephants of this world have inherited the skeletal structure of their four gigantic superiors which carry our disc world on the back of the great turtle A'Tuin! Just look at the spine! *Security start dragging him out as he waves a copy of a Terry Pratchett novel in the air* I'm not crazy, it's all in here, just read about it!! krampster2 fucked around with this message at 06:23 on Jun 13, 2018 |
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Jun 13, 2018 05:53
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krampster2 posted:Think about the invention of the wheel. It was round, wasn't it? I had to have my wife explain this one to me, but now that I get it, it's very good. Also, shout out to your old sig with the sloth saying "follow your dreams" which I didn't have to have explained to me.
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Jun 13, 2018 14:07
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Jolo posted:I had to have my wife explain this one to me, but now that I get it, it's very good. Also, shout out to your old sig with the sloth saying "follow your dreams" which I didn't have to have explained to me. Many thanks to you! If anyone finds any good sloth related images, make sure you save them on your computer. Sloth memes are an endangered species that needs to be protected. Here's one I found recently: 
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Jun 13, 2018 17:58
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 02:07 |
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Startling new evidence from the Cute Thread:King Vidiot posted:The space footage NASA didn't want you to see! |
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Jun 14, 2018 17:04
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