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  • Locked thread
KingBomber69
Feb 24, 2018


Okay so I started a new relationship with a girl who thinks shes a cat or some poo poo... Come to realize were living together only after a few days of meeting. Her mindset is all hosed up because of drug abuse and continued general being a female. She flips the gently caress out starts crying in the corner saying im the devil and poo poo. What do I need to do to calm her the gently caress down ???

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hevnz 2 murgatroyd
Apr 13, 2018

rumps??


Her hormones are clearly out of whack. Get her pregnant and they should stabilize.

Mnoba
Jun 24, 2010


don't move in with people you just met on tinder duder

EvilTwig
Jan 30, 2001



https://www.petco.com/shop/en/petco...-spray-for-cats

DiggityDoink
Dec 9, 2007

If you like pineapple slices on pizza, I hope you like pineapple slices on your children's graves because you're weak, your bloodline is weak and you will not survive the winter.




Percelus
Sep 9, 2012


congrats on finally losing your virginity op

slave to my cravings
Mar 1, 2007

Got my mind on doritos and doritos on my mind.


this doesn’t really work that well

VictorianQueerLit
Aug 25, 2017

by R. Guyovich


Wait 8-10 years for her to.....

wait, how did you end up living with someone that thinks they are a cat after a few days?

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012


VictorianQueerLit posted:

Wait 8-10 years for her to.....

wait, how did you end up living with someone that thinks they are a cat after a few days?

Percelus posted:

congrats on finally losing your virginity op

VictorianQueerLit
Aug 25, 2017

by R. Guyovich


Don't move in with just anyone that fucks you, jesus. Especially if they think they are a cat.

Eventually they'll start hissing at you all the time and clawing the gently caress out of you while you sleep.

VictorianQueerLit fucked around with this message at Jun 12, 2018 around 22:57

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

If you see her hunched over behind the sofa you better get a box ready because she's fixin to drop a bunch of tard babies all over your carpeting

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

cherish that sex but dont put the pussy on a pedestal

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Yeah you'll never get that smell out of your pedestal

goethe.cx
Apr 23, 2014

HOT DIGGITY


KingBomber69 posted:

gently caress

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


...pretend to be a dog?

Willias
Sep 3, 2008


have you tried catnip?

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


A cheap spay and neuter clinic?

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 30 days!


Get an entirely different girlfriend. Then touch your cool girlfriends boobs.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Get an entirely different girlfriend. Then touch your cool girlfriends boobs.

Close thread.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

*Suck My Balls*

Grimey Drawer

drink bourbon and vomit all over yourself

Obsidianheart
Apr 25, 2017

Throwing off the shadow of a better man.

Move out. Leave her there. Leave the oven on.

poopnanners
May 3, 2016

hey guys lets party


Sounds like she is more of an "outside" gf.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

If you have a tiny dog you should be arrested and the dog placed on a tiny dog rocket and fired into the sun!!!

Ramrod XTreme

Turn yourself into a eunuch and leave in the night for the refuge of a monastery.
Years later when you become the emporer's confidant (and possible gay receptive partner) you can use his influence to exact your revenge, which, I presume would be getting a couple days rent, some Mt. Dew Code Red, and an old lovely Hot Topic t-shirt back from her that she stole the first night she stayed over.

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012


seriously though op has stumbled across what people in the know call "wifey material" you gotta get a ring on that finger fast

Malcolm Turnbeug
Mar 21, 2018

ask me about disabled toilet sex


Don’t gently caress cats

onedayholiday
Dec 6, 2013


Throw her down a well, then chuck yourself down there.

Cyberpunkey Monkey
Jun 23, 2003



Get her a cage and enjoy your broken fucktoy OP.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

poopnanners posted:

Sounds like she is more of an "outside" gf.

Kharmakazy
Jul 3, 2007


Grimey Drawer

In all honesty, I'm pretty sure I've heard of this OP. What you need to do is get in there with a Q-tip and sort things out.

Former DILF
Jul 13, 2017
Probation
Can't post for 5 days!


for chrissakes do i have to do everything

take her to the goddamn vet and have her put down OP

DogonCrook
Apr 24, 2016

I think my 20 years as hurricane chaser might be a little relevant ive been through more hurricanws than moat shiitty newscasters


Put tape on her feet op.

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers


Top Cop

Did she pop a boner when you were making out?

I understand that can induce cat-like behavior.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

The door blew shut but here's the deal
Dreams are lies, it's the dreaming that's real


Nap Ghost

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006



Fun Shoe

Try and fix her issues and commit to a relationship

BloodRed
Apr 21, 2004

I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.

Fallen Rib

just put down some fresh clay kitty litter in the bath and go to bed u idiot

Hardawn
Mar 15, 2004



College Slice

Get peed on OP, you stupid idiot

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots

Buglord

Does she think she's an anime catgirl or actual cat?

givepatajob
Apr 8, 2003

One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.



Dinosaur Gum

Picking up Shmorky’s sloppy seconds?

morally adept
May 10, 2017

See all I know is ball, and good, and rape.


fu for beating me to the punch.

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Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges


Is she hot?

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