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Simone Poodoin
Jun 26, 2003

This thread is brought to you by Copa Airlines, a lovely airline that almost always has connections in the lovely Panama city airport

Panama is a country in Central America, they have a cool canal that is an engineering wonder worth seeing once and only once. The capital is Panama city, a hot, humid, noisy metropolis not apt for human existence outside of air conditioned buildings.

They're going to the World Cup for the first time. These are the players who are going:


Arqueros: Jaime Penedo (Dinamo Bucarest), José Calderón (Chorrillo) y Álex Rodríguez (San Francisco).

Defensores: Felipe Baloy (Municipal), Harold Cummings (Earthquakes de San José, EE.UU.), Eric Davis (Dunajska Streda, Eslovaquia), Fidel Escobar (Red Bulls de Nueva York), Michael Murillo (Red Bulls), Adolfo Machado (Dynamo de Houston), Luis Ovalle (Olimpia) y Román Torres (Sounders de Seattle, EE.UU.).

Volantes: Édgar Bárcenas (Cafetaleros), Armando Cooper (Universidad de Chile), Aníbal Godoy (Earthquakes), Gabriel Gómez (Bucaramanga, Colombia), Valentín Pimentel (Plaza Amador), Alberto Quintero (Universitario de Lima) y José Luis Rodríguez (KAA Gante, Bélgica).

Delanteros: Abdiel Arroyo (Alajuelense, Costa Rica), Ismael Díaz (Fabril), Blas Pérez (Municipal), Luis Tejada (Sports Boys, Perú) y Gabriel Torres (Huachipato, Chile).

Director Tecnico: Hernán Darío Gómez

They're gonna get hosed up and exit in the group stages but they're hard cloggers and will injury a few belges and brave lions in the process.

Their football team is not very interesting but what's interesting about Panama is the story about how their late 80s and early 90s dancehall music served as a base for the massively popular annoying latino sensation called reggaeton.

In the 80s, artists like Chicho Man, Nando Boom, Pocho Pan, Gringo Man, Renato and El General took Jamaican riddims and sung Spanish lyrics over them

This got very popular, purely cheesy party music. Later on DJs started to experiment with the riddims, making them faster and adding silly noises. MCs also started adding more controversial and harder lyrics and this also was insanely popular. In the 90s it was called ragga or plena and by then it was already a proto-reggaeton.

In the late 90s/early 00s there was a wave of "romantic" ragga with lyrics about relationships or about the consequences of street life

Then after that the Puerto Ricans got a hold of the genre, added much better production and took it to the next level. In conclusion, this is silly, cheesy fun music that the panamaniacs invented and the puerto ricans perfected.

This is not well researched at all it's mostly based on what I remembered but it was more fun to write than actual words about the football players.


African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

That music stinks! We should take the canal back by force IMO

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

muevelo muevelo is a banger

Dec 30, 2004

Chiunque può essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

panamania running wild itt

Troy Queef
Jan 12, 2013

I was 12 when I made love for the first time, in Tropea, with a Roman girl who was 17 years old.

Good op, OP.

Also, let's learn a bit about the most famous sportsman Panama has ever produced, Roberto Durán.

Born in a poor district of Panama City called "The House of Stone" (which would later give rise to his nickname, "Manos de Piedra"), Durán turned pro at age 16 and won his first title four years later in 1972, at lightweight. He then defended his belt twelve successful times (with 11 wins by KO) and forged a successful partnership with Ray Arcel, a trainer who had been active since the 1920s (for instance, he worked with James J. Braddock both before and after his time working on the docks). Moving up to welterweight in 1979, he challenged a man regarded as the best prospect in the world at that time: Ray Charles Leonard, the fighting pride of Palmer Park, MD, and already a Olympic gold medalist, undisputed champion, and one of the biggest sports stars in the US. The fight was in Montreal, site of Sugar Ray's gold medal four years earlier.

Roberto won a unanimous decision (he later said what animated him to fight so well was the fact he was on the downside of an 80-20 purse split) and became a national hero in Panama, but after losing his first fight since his amateur days it was obvious that Leonard would activate the rematch clause, this time in New Orleans. By this time Durán had taken a little too much to the fame and glamour that comes with being a champion while Sugar Ray was understandably hungry for revenge, and it showed in the Superdome.

Durán told Howard Cosell that he was only saying "No sigo" ("I can't go on") to himself, but everyone loudly heard him tell the ref arguably two of the most infamous words in boxing: "No más." That hero status he gained in Panama instantly went away: postage stamps and ads with his pictures on them were ordered destroyed by the government, who also revoked a special tax exemption Roberto had. Furthermore, Arcel quit as his trainer because...well, you'd quit too if the guy you've been working for totally shits the bed on the biggest stage. Learning from his mistakes, Roberto moved up to light middleweight, and on his 32nd birthday gave himself a present against Davey Moore.

He then moved up to middleweight: problem is that at that time the 154-lb division just so happened to have two of the greatest fighters of all time in it, namely Marvelous Marvin Hagler and Tommy Hearns. Durán would do especially well against Hagler, but it was clear that some of that punching power and class he had was a bit gone.

...or was it? At age 37, Durán got a crack at Iran Barkley, who had earlier that year shocked everyone by knocking out Hearns. Roberto went on to turn back the clock and put in a performance that would be named "Fight of the Year" by The Ring magazine.

Sadly, after that he then kind of faded away with old age. He would have a third fight with Leonard, more as a money-grab than anything else (Leonard won big), won a few minor titles at super middleweight, and even tried one final title shot at age 47 against William Joppy, who knocked him out in three rounds. A couple years ago there was a film made about him called Hands of Stone: it's all right, you get to male-gaze the hell out of Ana de Armas, and it turns out that Usher is a dead ringer for Ray Leonard.

Jul 20, 2001

Panama are another side I really enjoyed watching play like their hair was on fire in Copa America competition and I hope the boys have fun on their run out.


ass cobra
May 28, 2004

Soiled Meat

the airport in panama has a lot of stores and every single one sells playstations for some reason

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