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John DiFool
Aug 27, 2013

Class "R" Detective


So we poured the equivalent of a civilization's resources into producing spacecraft capable of interstellar flight? Going to establish a new colony off-world? Better staff it with absolute morons with apparently zero protocol training for encountering exobiology.

The old Alien movies at least had the excuse that space travel was old hat and they were flying on craft like space tugs, so it makes sense they would be staffed by idiots.

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Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

Carthago delenda est

don't say ret*rded; it's an ableist slur

fist4jesus
Nov 24, 2002


Because the best and brightest were smart enough to let fodder go first?

givepatajob
Apr 8, 2003

One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.



Dinosaur Gum

Ridley Scott

Putty
Mar 21, 2013


givepatajob posted:

Ridley Scott

Its this

Pulchritudinous
May 19, 2005
It means "to reduce by one-tenth."

At least the movies are pretty looking.

Docahedron
May 11, 2008

Im a special snowflake


Aging director Ridley Scott

quote:

IGN: At what point while making the original film did you decide that Deckard would be a Replicant?

RS: Oh, it was always my thesis theory. It was one or two people who were relevant were... I can't remember if Hampton agreed with me or not. But I remember someone had said, “Well, isn't it corny?” I said, “Listen, I'll be the best f#@king judge of that. I'm the director, okay?” So, and that, you learn -- you know, by then I'm 44, so I'm no f#@king chicken. I'm a very experienced director from commercials and The Duellists and Alien. So, I'm able to, you know, answer that with confidence at the time, and say, “You know, back off, it's what it's gonna be.” Harrison, he was never -- I don't remember, actually. I think Harrison was going, “Uh, I don't know about that.” I said, “But you have to be, because Gaff, who leaves a trail of origami everywhere, will leave you a little piece of origami at the end of the movie to say, ‘I've been here, I left her alive, and I can't resist letting you know what's in your most private thoughts when you get drunk is a f#@king unicorn!’” Right? So, I love Beavis and Butthead, so what should follow that is “Duh.” So now it will be revealed [in the sequel], one way or the other.

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 29, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy


it's because every subsequent movie after the first one thinks the characters get killed because they're stupid instead of being hopelessly outmatched by something they don't understand

Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 4 days!


Ein cooler Typ posted:

don't say ret*rded; it's an ableist slur
Sorry, Why are the new Alien movies so developmentally disabled

wide stance
Jan 28, 2011

If there's more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then he will do it that way.


It assumes earth's gravity is universal in deep space or on an alien planet. So yes, extremely retarded.

bag em and tag em
Nov 4, 2008


People want to see movies about people getting eaten by aloems and not people taking 8 days to go through rigorous protocols. Ridley Scott was actually making films for entertainment, you see, and not for pedantic nerds to nod solemnly at in approval of their decontamination processes and lab sterilization methods.

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002



I dunno but it's a sad world when Alien Resurrection is legitimately better than Ridley Scott doing an Alien prequel and actually trying to make it good and "art"

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 29, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy


they should've made ridley scott make some kids' movies in the interim like george miller so when he finally does circle back around to his old IP it doesnt suck dicks

Olympic Mathlete
Feb 25, 2011



Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

it's because every subsequent movie after the first one thinks the characters get killed because they're stupid instead of being hopelessly outmatched by something they don't understand

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002



i think its a metaphor for mans hubris. but its not really a metaphor because its just mans having hubris.

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002



Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

they should've made ridley scott make some kids' movies in the interim like george miller so when he finally does circle back around to his old IP it doesnt suck dicks

babe pig in the city is george miller's best movie

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



Explaining the cool poo poo in a good movie doesn't make another good movie.

Labes for days
Dec 14, 2010

His third chybut sack swelled.


I don't care how stupid they are, I will keep watching them as long as Michael Fassbender is evil in them.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



Michael fassbender is the best part of those movies but the novelty is quickly wearing off. Covenant was really bad.

Love Rat
Jan 15, 2008

I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, I've kicked a dog to death, and now I'm going to pepper spray an acquaintance. Something... I mean, what's happened to me?

Drones would of solved every problem in Aliens. They could of scanned the planet, located the colonists, extracted the company's facehuggers, and set the nukes. But I like my future primitive aesthetic (otherwise known as made in the 1980s). I like my future people smoking in board rooms and using dot matrix printers.

Sorry, I know this discussion is about the dumb rear end later movies.

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 29, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy


Love Rat posted:

Drones would of solved every problem in Aliens. They could of scanned the planet, located the colonists, extracted the company's facehuggers, and set the nukes. But I like my future primitive aesthetic (otherwise known as made in the 1980s).

Sorry, I know this discussion is about the dumb rear end later movies.

my dad works for jpl and relishes telling people mars will be fully explored and documented by robots before a human ever sets foot there

Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

Carthago delenda est

Love Rat posted:

Drones would of solved every problem in Aliens. They could of scanned the planet, located the colonists, extracted the company's facehuggers, and set the nukes. But I like my future primitive aesthetic (otherwise known as made in the 1980s).

Sorry, I know this discussion is about the dumb rear end later movies.

would of
could of


Drones could of nuked it from orbit; it's the only way to be sure

Love Rat
Jan 15, 2008

I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, I've kicked a dog to death, and now I'm going to pepper spray an acquaintance. Something... I mean, what's happened to me?

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

my dad works for jpl and relishes telling people mars will be fully explored and documented by robots before a human ever sets foot there

Yup. It really doesn't make sense doing it any other way.

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016


Look at how stupid we are as a society right now. Pretty loving stupid.

Hundreds of years from now, we're going to be even dumber. The Earth that exists in the world of Alien probably elected a dog as President, or made taking a dump illegal.

Dolphin
Dec 5, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 4 days!


Remember when the retard from arrested development reprised her role in Prometheus and got smeared into paste because she didn't run laterally from a rolling object.

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004
Im gonna put cupcakes on your mind


Ridley Scott should have been executed in 82.

John DiFool
Aug 27, 2013

Class "R" Detective


Just make them really loving smart and careful but get rammed up the rear end anyway. That's the way to demonstrate hubris, not brain-dead imbeciles doing every possible thing to let the aliens spread.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



Prometheus and Covenant are doing a weird thing where all of the human characters are supposed to be careless and filled with hubris, but it's so exaggerated that you end up disliking the characters and not caring about them, and eventually hoping that the alien kills them and they die and the movie can just be about David.

John DiFool
Aug 27, 2013

Class "R" Detective


Ein cooler Typ posted:

would of
could of


Drones could of nuked it from orbit; it's the only way to be sure

Would have.
Could have.
Retard.

jimmyjams
Jan 10, 2001


well. to me it seems as if the new movies are little more than poorly thought out rushed cash ins attempting to exploit the prestige of the original two movies, but i could be wrong

jiggerypokery
Feb 1, 2012

...But I could hardly wait six months with a red hot jape like that under me belt.

The crew are dumb because anyone with brains knows what happened in the first couple of films and didn't volunteer. I mean would you?

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 29, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy


John DiFool posted:

Just make them really loving smart and careful but get rammed up the rear end anyway. That's the way to demonstrate hubris, not brain-dead imbeciles doing every possible thing to let the aliens spread.

yeah i'd love to see the characters do everything right and still get hosed up because they couldn't have possibly anticipated how different the alien life would be

Napoleon Bonaparty
Oct 30, 2012

DISCO
PARTY
KING


Ridley Scott is as dumb as his characters

Tiberius Christ
Mar 3, 2009


alien is such a xenophobic slur it should be undocumented space immigrant

Shaocaholica
Oct 29, 2002

Fig. 5E


What are you complaining about? The last one had an alien sneaking around a spaceship all scary like. That's literally the same as the first movie and what all the nerds cried for after the other movie.

It might not be the movie you wanted but its the movie you deserved.

Love Rat
Jan 15, 2008

I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, I've kicked a dog to death, and now I'm going to pepper spray an acquaintance. Something... I mean, what's happened to me?

Napoleon Bonaparty posted:

Ridley Scott is as dumb as his characters

He never got over being an advertiser. Good at pretty pictures, but nary an idea in his head. Sometimes he gets paired with a decent screenwriter and everything works out.

I'd say he has the terminal brain rot of just being old as poo poo now.

Love Rat
Jan 15, 2008

I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, I've kicked a dog to death, and now I'm going to pepper spray an acquaintance. Something... I mean, what's happened to me?

Tiberius Christ posted:

alien is such a xenophobic slur it should be undocumented space immigrant

She thought they said ILLEGAL alien and signed up.

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011



It's kind of sad how Prometheus is actually one of the least-bad Alien movies.

Shaocaholica
Oct 29, 2002

Fig. 5E


Love Rat posted:

She thought they said ILLEGAL alien and signed up.

Then the movie goes on to show the white man kill them all including a pregnant mother and all her children.

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fishing with the fam
Feb 29, 2008

Durr


Arguing with my dad about how bad Prometheus was is how I found out he buys into some of the ancient aliens theories. So it'll always have that going for it. Covenant was just dull.

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